The Dating Den

Marni welcomes Sexual Health Specialist, Christine Delozier to the Life Check Yourself podcast. Christine is an acupuncturist and herbalist who treats every patient holistically through research and study into traditional Chinese medicine, dietary nutrition, and counseling. She shares some simple changes you can do to get your mind and body sex-life ready.    Key takeaways from this episode:  Pre-date mood-enhancing snacks  Foods that increase sensitivity in the body Minerals that make you feel sexy How traditional Chinese medicine promotes great sex   The Connection Between Physiology, Diet, and Sex [2:03] Christine believes approaching health from a natural perspective is the most effective way to take care of our bodies. In Chinese medicine, a practitioner always looks to the root of health to assist their patient, not symptoms. To achieve optimum sexual health it is best to treat the root of the issue through diet and nutrition. When we think about great sex, women tend to think about it psychologically

If you've followed The Dating Den for a while, you know that the work we do on this show is about much more than just dating. At the core, we help our listeners live and love courageously so that they can create a life of peace and joy and success and fulfillment beyond your wildest dreams.To fully realize this vision, we knew we needed to expand.

Marni welcomes renowned body-language expert Blanca Cobb to the show. When it comes to love, romance, and relationships, she helps singles find a partner who is worthy of love by using and understanding body language. She can help you to identify partners who love, care for, and respect you. Blanca has appeared in more than a thousand TV appearances and has been quoted in hundreds of popular publications.    Key takeaways from this episode:  Simple expressions tell you what a guy is thinking Tips for revealing your feminine energy Sending the right signals to get what you want Body language tips for dating IRL How to dress for a video date   Do His Expressions Match His Words? [2:27] Ladies, if you are dating a guy and he says romantic things that make your heart all a flutter but his expressions and actions don't match up it could be a red flag. Blanca says if a guy wants to be with you he will show up emotionally and physically. The more they want you the more they will touch you in caring and nurturing w

Marni and Chris reconvene to talk about the real-life dating lessons from the first new episode of Bachelor in Paradise 2021. Has Bachelorette Michelle been to a dating coach and does she know exactly how to find her perfect partner, probably not, but that is what makes this analysis useful and fun.    Key takeaways from this episode:  Why you shouldn’t internet stalk before a date When it is time to save energy and focus on someone new  Issues stemming from having perfect parents Respect boundaries and stop looking through his phone   The Fine Line Between Being Yourself & Being Prepared for a Date [2:13] On Bachelor in Paradise, contestant Ryan is confronted by Bachelorette Michelle about some notes he has in his room. He had a folder that included information about Michelle and how to get attention during the season. Chris says it is normal for a guy to dig around the internet to find out more about someone he likes. Michelle confronted Ryan and he took a defensive stance instead of owning up to what

Marni asks the Master Coach of the Institute for Living Courageously, Sherrie Toews, to explain ways to fix your online dating process to increase your chances of finding real love. For 25 years, Sherrie has been a licensed therapist in California. Her work focuses on what causes people to be stuck, and she creates a foolproof plan detailing how they can break through and acquire the skills needed to maintain a long-term lifestyle shift.     Key takeaways from this episode:  Shifting your personal belief system Recognize what is holding you back from finding love Stop sabotaging your dating life online, or not How to fix your online profile   Limiting Beliefs Keep You Single [4:45]  Marni and Sherrie share that they see attractive, reasonably smart people sabotaging relationships every day. Even if they think they are not sabotaging a relationship, they unconsciously are.  It all goes back to our belief system. In childhood, when we hurt or had to deal with something that wounded us we formed little Who's a

As part of Marni’s contribution to the How to Actually Feel Worthy of Love Podcast Tour curated by Veronica Grant, client Janice Busing joins the show to describe the love connection she made after doing the work.    Key takeaways from this episode:  How to feel worthy of love Believing you are enough Why you are attracting the wrong guy Dating differently  Accepting Your Worthiness [3:28] Before becoming a dating with dignity client, Janice was considering Where she was in her life. She was 56, single, not dating, and craving partnership. One morning Marni's email appeared in her inbox. That is when Janice realized that if she wanted to live her life fully now was the time to make a self-honoring choice.  It takes courage to admit that getting into partnership is something you care about and are ready to work on.  Janice knew she needed support and guidance. She had expanded her awareness but she was self-sabotaging by using her good life and clever stories to keep her out of a relationship. She thought th

Marni and Chris connect to extract real-life dating lessons from the season finale of Bachelor in Paradise. Unexpected break ups, playing the victim after heartbreak, and saying I love you first add to the intrigue and appeal as we say goodbye to yet another season.     Key takeaways from this episode:  How to tell what a guy is really thinking How to break up well Staying out of victim after a breakup When to say I love you Can someone truly change?    Is He Ready for a Relationship? [2:07] At the beginning of the season, Marni and Chris agreed that James seemed like a good dude. When he started dating Anna everyone including her, thought it was a good solid connection. But as soon as Anna declared she wanted to follow through with a relationship, James snappishly said he wasn’t in the right headspace for a relationship right now and took off with Aaron.  Marni says James is emotionally unavailable and he may never be satisfied. When producers asked, he couldn't pinpoint what was missing in the relationshi

Marni welcomes relationship expert Jayson Gaddis into the Den to discuss lessons gleaned from his latest book, Getting to Zero: How to Work Through Conflict in Your High-Stakes Relationships. In addition to being an author and coach who teaches people how to do relationships, Jayson is also the host of the long-running The Relationship School Podcast.    Key takeaways from this episode:  What is conflict in a relationship Tips for working through conflict in a relationship Becoming a relational leader Creating a baseline of where feels good to both partners Avoiding inner conflict   Identifying and Resolving Conflicts in Relationships [2:26] Jayson defines conflict as a rupture, disconnection, or an unresolved issue between two people. Conflict can be voiced or the stuff we are not saying. We are all challenging when it comes to interpersonal dynamics. especially if we live together.  Silence is one of the worst conflicts. It can be extremely brutal for some. Those most susceptible to silence or a lack of r

Marni and Chris join forces to dissect the real-life dating lessons extracted from the 3-hour case studies openly provided by Bachelor in Paradise. The contestants may be on TV, but they date just like the rest of us.   Key takeaways from this episode:  What to do when something feels off and a guy pulls away How to stay positive when you feel rejected Dating long-distance and making plans for the future Catching someone in a lie   What To Do When Something Feels Off [2:06] When something feels off, it can be a tough thing to decipher. Is it your intuition speaking out? Are you imagining it? Or, is self-sabotage rearing its ugly face. Does the other person feel it too? In the show, Kenny feels that something is off with Mari yet he says nothing. Mari on the other hand feels that something is off with Kenny because he is acting differently after saying ‘I love you’. Marni says as soon as a relationship starts to get deep, people get vulnerable but then second guess the feelings they just shared. Chris adds t

Marni welcomes behavioral scientist turned dating coach and author Logan Ury into the Den to discuss the top dating tips from her book, How Not to Die Alone: The Surprising Science That Will Help You Find Love. Logan is the Director of Relationship Science at Hinge, where she leads a research team that specializes in helping people find love.   Key takeaways from this episode:  A behavioral science approach to dating Biggest mistakes people make when dating Managing expectations Why feeling a spark with someone may not lead to lasting love Combating dating burnout    Date Like a Scientist [2:24] Many women discount dating quality men because a man doesn't check every single box for them. Logan says people are wrong about who they think they should be with. She recommends dating like a scientist. Collect evidence and be curious. The key is to have an open mind while figuring out what kind of person will make you happy. Then, test your assumptions.   Logan points out the three types of dating tendencies — Th

Marni and Chris Gillis are back discussing the real-life dating lessons gleaned from this season of Bachelor in Paradise. They unpack why the ‘spark’ may be leading Tia to attract emotionally unavailable men, why Kendall should not be looking to Joe for consolation, and how sharing emotions turned Riley from bicep-guy to boyfriend material.   Key takeaways from this episode:  How to get a guy to pursue you  How to know when a guy won’t pursue you Who should say I love you first How to get a guy to express himself to you The key to successful dating   An Ex is an Ex for a Reason [1:19]  Should your ex be the person that consoles you when you are in a new relationship? Should you stay friends? Marni and Chris adamantly say no. When you break up, even if you had an intimate relationship, you should let it be over. If you have kids together you will always have a connection, but keep it about the kids.  In the show, Kendall runs to her ex, plays the victim to get Joe to console her. Marni felt like Joe was unco

Marni welcomes the Founder and Chairman of the Optimum Health Clinic which is one of the world’s leading integrative medicine clinics.  Alex is also the creator of the Therapeutic Coaching Methodology and the In Therapy with Alex Howard, Youtube series. They discuss what may be keeping you stuck from having deeper, more intimate connections.   Key takeaways from this episode:  Breaking free from who you think you should be Finding your authentic self Unpacking and healing childhood patterns Trusting the divine    Longing for a Deep, Intimate Relationship [3:16] Alex was mired in his inability to have a happy, lasting relationship. He suffered from chronic fatigue syndrome as a teen. As a result, he proactively began a long-term healing journey. He trained to become a therapist. He discovered his first true love in life was psychology. In his mid-20s, after he had attained everything he thought he wanted out of life, but was miserable when it came to relationships.  Alex started to believe he couldn't have a

Marni welcomes the co-founder of the video speed dating app, Filter Off, Zach Schleien. Zach is a TEDx speaker who knows dating. His passions are technology, health, and creating authentic connections. Zach and the app have been featured in the New York Times and BBC.   Key takeaways from this episode:  What makes video dating efficient  How Filter Off differs from other online dating apps Eliminate online catfishing Quickly find like-minded people to date Best practices for branding yourself online   How Has Online Dating Changed? [1:46] People are more comfortable with video since the pandemic started. Now is the time for Filter Off video speed dating since Zoom meetings and virtual chat groups are commonplace. Pre-pandemic people wouldn't always agree to a video chat. Video is the future of online dating and for good reason.   Zach says video dating is here to stay because people are more comfortable with the technology. Plus, it is efficient. Instead of texting back and forth with a person who just may

Marni and Chris discuss the dating lessons gleaned from the latest episode of Bachelor in Paradise. They touch on great basic dating tips to how to get past your childhood wounds and date like an adult.   Key takeaways from this episode:  Rekindling with an Ex Having sex on the first date  Playing the victim when you don’t get what you want Dealing with anxiety while dating Overcoming insecurity   Can a Relationship Be Rekindled After a Breakup [1:02] Kendall, Grocery Store Joe’s ex-fiance, comes back to see if the relationship can be rekindled. They obviously share a physical attraction and connect on many things, but Kendall doesn’t want to talk about why they ended things in the first place. They have goals and values that don’t match up. Joe wants to live in Chicago. Kendall likes L.A. Chris loves that relationships can be rekindled but warns guys if they get a second shot don't chase the girl.  Marni says rejection is God's protection. If you are dating someone and you are unable to resolve the 69% of

Marni welcomes the Wall Street Journal bestselling author of Battle-tested CEO Krister Ungerböck to the podcast to discuss a communication framework that can save relationships at work and home. Krister shares simple verbal shifts that can transform conversations, reduce conflict, and create intimacy within your relationships.    Key takeaways from this episode:  Ask questions without making people defensive Create safety in a relationship What makes words so powerful Bring awareness to a relationship issue in a playful way   What is TalkShift? [4:03] TalkShift is a communication framework Krister developed after watching many of his business and personal relationships fall apart. Two weeks after stepping down from his position as CEO, his wife walked out on him. He thought he was a good leader but later realized no one wanted to be in a relationship with him.  We don't need to change people, we just need to change our words  Krister describes what makes language powerful and how to  use the question words,

Marni and Chris get together to discuss what insane people do when they are dating that they don't think they do. After watching the double episode of Bachelor in Paradise, Marni took away the obvious dating lessons to share. If you think the way to get a quality guy is to be the ‘cool girl' or you are afraid to commit because you don't want to miss out, there are great lessons for you in this episode.    Key takeaways from this episode:  Why to Date Multiple People Simultaneously Break Patterns of Self-Sabotage Being Resilient in Dating Confidence is Attractive   What Makes 40 Year Old Kenny So Desirable? [2:13] What makes Kenny the most desirable guy in this group? Kenny is 40 and relatively mature. Chris thinks all the chicks are fighting over him because he seems to be comfortable in his own skin. Kenny is dating with dignity. He is not doing douche-baggy things. He makes it clear he is ready for a long-term relationship.  Mari tells Kenny she wants to date other people. He responds by telling her he wi

Marni and Chris hunker down in the Den to talk about the dating lessons learned from following the recent Bachelor episode. There were some real no-nos this week and some great examples of the issues many of us have when dating.    Key takeaways from this episode:  Why fake it ‘til you make it doesn't work in dating Become rejection-proof Don’t take things personally When women lead with sex Dating multiple people   Confidence or Overcompensation? [2:19] Marni and Chris break down how Demi’s obnoxiousness is probably a cover-up for her low self-worth, keeping in mind that the producers may have prodded her to stir up some trouble. They think Tammy is displaying real confidence but she may enjoy getting attention from drama.  Marni shares an observation from her years of experience coaching clients — Many women believe they are confident and they are not meeting a man who is at their level.  When faking confidence it comes across that you are uncomfortable in your skin, and people feel it. Demi led with sex,

Marni welcomes a former Bachelor winner and Dating with Dignity client into the Den. In 2016, Estella Renee was chosen by Bachelor Bob only to find out he was dating someone else. Today, she is happily engaged and runs a successful health and wellness business. She shares what she needed to shift before finding the man she has always wanted.   Key takeaways from this episode:  Healing from past heartbreak Learning to unlock your heart Why your online dating profile should reflect your non-negotiables When you do the work, the right guy will find you   When Everyone Knows You Have Been Hurt [3:15] Shortly before the Bachelor, Estella suffered a two-fold heartbreak. Her father passed away, then the man she was dating broke up with her. Then to top things off, after Bachelor Bob chose her, it was revealed that he was dating someone else when they were supposed to be working toward a relationship. The rejection was televised and she felt embarrassed by it.   Estella bottled up her vulnerability and put up her l

This Bachelorette recap features real-life dating advice taken from the most recent episodes of the show. Marni and Man Panelist Chris Gillis talk about the trainwreck finale that includes angry family members, Katie and Blake getting engaged and some of the worst hosting in TV history.   Key takeaways from this episode:  How to step back from an argument Why it is wrong to label someone  Vulnerability or oversharing? Take responsibility for your half of a relationship   Are You Ready to Date Again? [1:55] One thing for sure is you must be emotionally free of past relationships before you are ready to date again. Marni points out that Katie did not have time to get past her relationship with Greg Grippo before getting engaged to Blake Moynes. Chris thinks Greg was treated unfairly.  During the episode, the audience meets Katie's mom and her aunt Lindsey, who was very angry and disconnected. Marni says it explains why Katie can go from being fun and playful to stone-cold quickly. Marni hypothesized that ther

Marni welcomes Michael Tennant, the Founder of the conversation card game, Actually Curious, into the Den to discuss how to create connection and conversation through empathy and curiosity. Michael is an advocate for diversity, mental well-being, and empathy. His workshops and the card game have been featured in the New York Times, Goop, Forbes, Cosmopolitan, and others.    Key takeaways from this episode:  Create connection through empathy Sample questions to ask a date Tips for preparing for a date How to shift the energy of a conversation   How Actually Curious Creates Connection Through Empathy [1:39]  Michael describes his previous life when coming from the ‘get’ energy. He says he didn't know much about himself. He went out seeking his self-confidence and self-worth through dating. Then after discovering his empathy energy he realized what was missing within himself and learned how to love himself fully. With Actually Curious, Michael knew he had created a game that enhanced trust-building. The card g