The Dating Den

This Bachelorette recap features real-life dating advice taken from the most recent episodes of the show. Marni and Man Panelist Chris Gillis talk about the mesmerizing episode where Greg Grippo breaks up with Katie! Does Katie have her love shield up? Is Greg too ‘real' for TV?   Key takeaways from this episode:  Navigating conflict in a relationship Ask higher-quality questions How to have a successful long-term relationship Gaslighting or authenticity?   Were There Off Camera Communication Between Katie and Greg? [2:06] When Greg declared his love it was the rawest and most memorable moment in Reality TV. Greg Grippo was supposed to be THE guy for Katie. He was always more focused on the relationship, not the drama the producers prodded. Marni points out several instances when Katie pleaded for Greg not to go but ‘on camera’ Greg never mentioned he was going anywhere.  Does Katie have an unwarranted fear of abandonment that she pushed on Greg?    Where is the Katie we knew and loved from the beginning of

This week Marni welcomes Guy Shahar into the Den. Guy is the co-founder and lead facilitator of the Tantra Institute and the originator of Tantra Speed Date. He is an advanced certified Tantra educator, writer, and entrepreneur. With decades of experience, he teaches people how to become better lovers and how to heal the rift between masculine and feminine energies.    Key takeaways from this episode:  Surrender into your feminine Form more intimate connections  Allow a man to make mistakes How to have fulfilling dating experiences   Tantra Speed Dating [2:55] If you cringe when you think of speed dating, Tantra Speed Dating may be just what you are looking for. Guy explains how Tantra Speed Dating can offer deeper connections between a man and a woman while eliminating the preconceived ideas and judgment normally present when dating.  Dating should be a shared spiritual experience, Guy says. It is designed to help people healthily relate to each other from the beginning of a relationship. What we think we

This Bachelorette recap features real-life dating advice taken from the most recent episodes of the show. Marni and Man Panelist Chris Gillis talk about what is going on behind the scenes with Katie. She was extremely guarded, unlike the authentic, likable character she displayed on previous shows.   Key takeaways from this episode:  Internal strife shows in your body language The show is just a game after all Single parents have different dating rules How vulnerability can soften tough blows   Maybe Love Doesn’t Conquer All? [2:10] When Midwesterner, Michael A. had to break up with Katie we all understood. He says he needs to be a great dad first and this dating show is just a game. He bails but for all the right reasons. He is a genuinely cool dude with a lot at stake. He is a business owner, who is responsible for people other than himself.  Katie didn’t leave with him. Maybe reality set in and she realized he, and his situation, wasn’t right for her. It is a great example of being in a relationship with

This week Marni welcomes Daniel Herrold into the Den. Daniel is the co-founder of Divorced Over 40, a group that provides community to divorced men and women the world over who are in their 40s, 50s, and 60s. The community intends to foster and cultivate relationships and friendships organically. Divorced Over 40 has over 10,000 virtual members in 50 cities in 7 countries.    Key takeaways from this episode:  Benefits of people who understand what you are going through Preparing yourself for a new life, post-divorce Meeting people in a group setting takes the edge off Cultivating friendships with members of the opposite sex Navigating dating without apps   Dating After Divorce is a Process [2:13] Daniel was inspired to create Divorced Over 40 because he lost many of his friends when he got divorced. He needed time to heal and figure out who he was but still needed connection. He wanted to create a way for people to connect and build friendships post-divorce without the stigma of a culture that implies one m

This Bachelorette recap features real-life dating advice taken from the most recent episodes of the show. Marni and Man Panelist Chris Gillis talk about ‘Machete’ Katie. She is a break-up artist. Is she breaking up with guys quickly because she has already chosen Greg?    Key takeaways from this episode:  Examples of how mature, high-quality guys act TV is made for drama Do women want vulnerable men? Has Katie already made her choice?   Guys Try to Get to First Date [2:10] Marni and Chris make note that not all the guys are getting one-on-one time with Katie. There are 5 or 6 guys left and not all of them have even gotten to their first date. If the show is designed to end in engagement the producers better get on it.  Tip — don't get engaged to someone to whom you have never been on a date.  Brendan is an example of a quality guy. He never got a date card and he wanted to know why. He went directly to Katie and asked. Marni thinks it should have been the other way around and Katie should have said somethin

In this intriguing episode, Marni welcomes Misa Hopkins into the Den. Misa has been a pioneer in the field of feminine consciousness for over 20 years. She is a five-time bestselling author and appears in the newly released documentary, The Spark. We discuss her ability to balance consciousness through mystical initiations in masculine and feminine energies.    Key takeaways from this episode:  How to tap into emotional wisdom Be truly seen for who you are Healing through emotions Find a partner to grow with How to bless and release someone   Emotional Wisdom & Healthy Relationships [1:31]  Emotional wisdom is anchored in sacred feminine consciousness. Women go through cycles of intense emotions starting from their first menstruation. For centuries, women have been taught that emotions are a problem to be suppressed. But that is incorrect, Misa says. Our emotions are gateways to our inner wisdom, intuition, and ultimately to our awakening.  All of your emotions are valid.  The emotional walls we built t

This Bachelorette recap features real-life dating advice taken from the most recent episodes of the show. Marni and Man Panelist Chris Gillis talk about how much they like Katie, why kissing shouldn’t be the end of a relationship, and the importance of getting the important, lifestyle questions out at the beginning of the dating process.    Key takeaways from this episode:  Less is more when it comes to physical alterations When to ask tough questions in the dating process Guys wank off all the time Predictions about Katie’s frontrunners Katie Narrows Down the List [2:23] Connor, aka the Cat Guy, took a big hit after what seemed to be a great date. Katie says goodbye to him and when he asks why she twists the knife and says it was his kiss. Marni says Katie has other guys to choose from so she can be picky but in real life dating if you meet your version of Connor, don’t let kissing be the end all be all. Katie should have been gentler with Connor. It IS possible to instruct and work with men who have chal

Marni welcomes the Authors of Bored, Lonely, Angry, Stupid: Changing Feelings About Technology from Telegraph to Twitter, Dr. Susan Matt, and Luke Fernandez into the Den. Luke is an Assistant Professor at Weber State School of Computing and Susan is a Professor of History at Weber State. Both have been published in the Washington Post.   Key takeaways from this episode:  Emotions are created by culture Effects of technology on expectations Reframing ideas and feelings Enjoying solitude versus fear of loneliness How Technology is Changing People [2:08] Our personalities and emotions are changing due to social media. Past generations didn’t quantify their worth with how many friends they had. They didn’t get bored as easily because no one was pressuring them to use their time. Susan points out the word boredom didn’t exist until the 19th century. Luke encourages us to think of emotions and feelings as not just biological but as things that are shaped by the world around us. By technologies and language.  Tec

Marni welcomes the Creator of the Cooch and Gooch Ball, Jana Danielson. Jana’s health issues were the catalyst for her career shift. She transformed her life and became a wellness entrepreneur. She runs a series of integrated health therapy clinics and educates clients on pelvic floor fitness tools, including the Cooch Ball.     Key takeaways from this episode:  Holistic caring for the body as a system The importance of breathing properly Maintaining structural integrity How the Cooch Ball can release your inner vixen Integrated Health: Systems, Not Pieces [2:47] Jana is passionate about teaching people to increase their health and wellness. She is all about being inspired by real women, understanding our bodies, and taking action to change the body from the inside out.  She says health and wellness have been a 'pieces' approach. When we approach it this way we create asymmetries and dysfunction in the body. She adds that it is beneficial to consider our bodies as a series of systems. If we work on our sys

Marni welcomes the Founder of the Fioneers into the Den. Jessica is a writer, speaker, coach, and author of the award-winning personal finance lifestyle blog, The Fioneers. Her lifestyle design program helps clients discover their values, design the life they want, and attain financial freedom.  Today, she shares the practices and strategies her clients use to shift their lives.    Key takeaways from this episode:  How to discover your values The formula for financial freedom Rediscover joy Get off auto-pilot to design the life you want You Can Have the Life You Want [2:34] Jessica describes lifestyle design as an iterative process, not a linear goal. It is the process of figuring out who you are, what you want, what your values are, and your strengths and limitations. This process allows you to dream big and then make a plan to make your dreams a reality. She shares her journey of pivoting from a job she didn’t enjoy to becoming financially independent. When she started suffering emotional turmoil and pan

This episode of the Bachelorette features a never-before-seen moment in TV history. Fans who watched were able to celebrate Katie saying goodbye to the villain before the lame drama started, Nick Viall shows up for no reason, and guys expose vulnerable moments from their past.   Key takeaways from this episode:  The right time to discuss your past Ask follow up questions for clarity Why believe a guy when he tells you who he is Guys getting vulnerable makes for good television Sharing is Caring [1:44] In this episode, Katie had a second date with a group of guys and asked them to share something vulnerable. Marni and Chris agree it was a great segment. Most of the guys sincerely shared very personal things they were ashamed of or bad choices they made. One guy got emotional and cried.  Katie was compassionate and shared a vulnerable moment from her past. She explained why she is #sexpositive.  When is it the right time to share your back story? Marni recommends sharing vulnerabilities on the third or fourt

In this episode of the Dating Den, Marni speaks with bestselling author Matthew Coast about what it takes to be a forever woman. In his book, The Forever Woman: Make Him See You as the Woman He Wants Forever,  he outlines the top three ways women become a person of value. He shares the important details in this conversation.     Key takeaways from this episode:  How to be a woman of value #1 things women do to not show their value Biggest hurdles for men Moving past your past Dating in abundance The Forever Woman Formula [2:51] Guy after guy Matthew speaks with says they doubt they will ever find their forever woman. A poll shows that 87% of men want to find a woman they can settle down with but, they don't believe they will ever find her.  One of the biggest hurdles for men is that they have other things in their way such as insecurities and stagnant patterns. It is difficult to break patterns that have been in place for decades. Men may avoid commitment or they may be scared to open up and not believe so

This episode of the Bachelorette features a virgin, a best lover contest, and lots of tongue tennis. Marni and Chris discuss Katie’s questioning style, why it’s important not to rule someone out too soon, and early predictions of the challenges Katie faces this season.    Key takeaways from this episode:  Kissing and sex on TV, good or bad? How to use open-ended questions to collect more data Dating a guy with a fetish It is refreshing to see people kiss with their eyes closed I Wanna Be Your Lover  [1:13]  In this episode, Katie played the ‘Best Lover’ game with the guys. Each guy had the opportunity to turn her on and to share an example of how they would be the best lover to her if they had a future together.  Marni and Chris have different views about all of the spit swapping taking place on the show. Marni doesn’t mind watching the intimate moments but Chris thinks the kissing was gross. He says it is equivalent to watching fish in a barrel fighting over food pellets. He leans into the possibility tha

Marni welcomes body language and presence expert, Rachel Coosar into the Den to learn more about what men are thinking by reading their body language and non-verbal expressions. Rachel is responsible for the Choreography for Business program helping business leaders with performance in extremely high-pressure contexts.    Key takeaways from this episode:  What non-verbal cues are you leaking Better dates through body language Aligning your body with how you feel  Recognizing a player  Dating after COVID Non-verbal Cues and Leaking  [2:07] Rachel shares how she uses her superpower of being a body language expert by taking people watching to the next level. She describes the process she uses to know more about the couples she sees in the wild.  She says many people hyperfocus on the face and eye contact but when you can see someone's full body other cues are happening that provide more information.  There are 7 Universal Expressions:  Happiness Sadness Anger Shock Disgust Contempt  Surprise  While people-w

Marni and Chris are back to dish about the newest season of the Bachelorette. Katie Thurston was a contestant on the Matt James Bachelor season and is now in the hot seat and looking for a life-long partner. She is authentic, playful, and #SexPositive. Let’s dive into the dating lessons that came out of the first episode of the new season.   Key takeaways from this episode:  What being #sexpositive means How to be gracious when a guy is awkward Getting clear about your type The thoughtful gimmicks that worked on Katie What Being #SexPositive Means  [1:51] Bachelorette Katie Thurston was on the Matt James Bachelor season. She brought the vibrator to the limo introduction. Know we get to know more about Katie and what she means when she declares herself #SexPositive.  Marni and Chris discuss how #SexPositive means you can do what you want and still feel good about being you. There is still resistance from some groups who hold on to the double standard that men can sleep around but, if a woman does it, she is

Marni speaks with an expert in love and intimacy who is known as the queen of juicy love. Stacey Murphy is a recovering perfectionist who helps professional women get out of the competitive self and integrate love, sex, and money into a powerful cocktail.   Key takeaways from this episode:    Top 3 reasons relationships fail How dating and relationships can be fun Feminine and masculine dynamics Nature versus nurture Top 3 Reasons Relationships Fail [2:01]   Both men and women have masculine and feminine energies. As women, it is in our nature to lean more into our feminine and for males to lean more into their masculine. Modern society has conditioned and programmed many women to lean into their masculine in order to further their career aspirations.   Expert, Stacey Murphy says these three things are the top reasons relationships fail:    Incompatibility — People not understanding their true nature or the nature of other people when entering a relationship.    Money — Many people go into a relationshi

Marni speaks with an expert in love and worthiness, former Miss USA, Terri Britt. Terri is a spiritual coach who works with women to increase their worthiness quotient. She is an award-winning author of the book, The Enlightened Mom and offers Dating Den listeners a free ebook.    Key takeaways from this episode:  Why women feel not good enough Raise emotional vibrations to feel worthy of love Attract a loving and supportive partner Unblock your passion Getting Off the Hamster Wheel [3:01] As children, we closely observe our parents, and we mimic them. Most parents unknowingly use statements that make children feel not enough. Statements such as, in order to get that you must do this. Children then subconsciously take on the belief they are not enough.  We grow up believing we have to prove our worth.  Terri shares her journey through relationships and love. She dated Wayne Newton at the height of his career and gave him power over her because she was grasping for love. After her personal transformation, w

Marni speaks with Certified Financial Planner Sean Fitts about how he works with smart, professional women to create financial freedom and independence so they can get everything they want from life. If you are single, divorced, or widowed, Sean offers important money tips and insights you need to know about.   Key takeaways from this episode:  Understanding money basics Be confident about money The freedom of making smart financial decisions Asking questions about money when dating Must-have money conversations with potential partners Understanding the Basics [2:24] First and foremost, no matter what their relationship status is women need to understand money basics, says Sean. It is OK to delegate more in-depth monetary transactions but knowing the basics will keep a bank account from being overdrawn and, more importantly, provide financial security.    Don't be afraid to say "I don't know what that means”  when talking to a trusted advisor about financial planning.  The golden rule of financial security

Today, Marni speaks with a former victim of heartbreak and grief. Michael Golowyn was plagued with rejection, abandonment, and failed relationships for 20-years until he learned to transform his heartbreak into inspiration. Author of the bestselling book, Transforming Your Life V2, Michael discovered a unique solution to overcome heartache and draw in the right person.    Key takeaways from this episode:  How to overcome heartbreak Understand why certain partners were in your life A proven process for getting over the wrong guy Why some singles steer away from relationships How to draw in your ideal partner Do Men Experience Break-up Grief? [2:39] After a devastating break-up in 2016, Michael realized he had an opportunity to work on himself. He found time to work on a process that works for heartbreak, but it also helps singles manifest their ideal partner. His process is adapted from John DiMartini’s groundbreaking work.  Michael says when we are highly emotional, we are operating from the amygdala, and

In this exclusive episode of the Dating Den, Marni speaks with the Founder and Executive Coach of Dating Transformation, Connell Barrett. He teaches men to unlock their most confident and authentic selves so they can connect with wonderful women without being creepy. As a current dater, Connell is all about dating with integrity. He says he can fix any dating problem because he has been through them all!    Key takeaways from this episode:  The inside scoop about problems men face when dating How men try to overcompensate when they don’t feel worthy Why men ghost How to know when a man is looking for a quality relationship Why some men text too much Dating Problems Men Experience [3:25] Believe it or not, men have difficulty dating too. They may put on a brave face but lack the confidence to make the first move. Connell coaching clients say the two biggest problems they face are:  They lack confidence — They don’t feel attractive or worthy. This is an internal issue.  They don't know how to talk to women