The Dating Den

Marni welcomes inspirational speaker, author, and esteemed member of the transformational leadership council, Kute Blackson, into the studio to discuss his latest book, The Magic of Surrender. Kute shares the transformational opportunity that appeared when his mother was diagnosed with a fatal illness and how his book sprung from his soul and onto the page.   Key takeaways from this episode:   Myths and misconceptions about surrender Moving into alignment with the universe Start telling yourself the truth about what you want Overcome past conditioning about what you need from life   The Magic of Surrender [2:51]   In our culture today there is a common misconception about what surrender truly means. It often means giving up and had negative connotations. A myth is that when you surrender you get less but Kuke says it's the opposite. Surrender is the most powerful thing you can do. Surrender is the key to manifesting your wildest dreams.   To surrender is when we stop trying to force and manipulate

Marni and Chris discuss another episode of Love is Blind. This time it is The Love Triangle. The 30-something contestants are still in their pods, slowly working their way up to meeting IRL. A couple of couples have been born out of the show already, but will they last? When the contestants finally meet what indiscretions will come to light, and how will they be handled?   Key takeaways from this episode:   Do couples need to agree on everything? Does physical attraction make or break a relationship? How to integrate different backgrounds and cultures Actions speak louder than words   Do We Need to Agree on the Big Topics to Be Together? [2:26]   When we gloss over things we don’t see eye-to-eye on, like religion, does it come back to haunt our relationships? When we are super attracted to another person, we can let our non-negotiables and deal breakers slide because we believe that love trumps everything else.   In this episode of Love is Blind Kyle and Shaina are discussing their differences arou

Marni welcomes Author, Speaker, Entrepreneur, and Business Advisor, Fred Joyal to the Life Check Yourself mobile studio. Fred’s book, Superbold: From Under Confident to Charismatic in 90 Days is a step-by-step guide for having a successful and happy life. You will be inspired to embrace life after listening!   Key takeaways from this episode:   Boldness can be learned Communication mistakes Taking risks and action How to be bold by default   What Does it Mean to Be Superbold? [2:10]   Confidence is how you feel. Boldness is what you do. A common misconception is that boldness is something we are born with. But, boldness can be learned much faster than most people think. Fred admits that he is an introvert and having fun and taking risks was not part of his life before figuring it all out. He says it can be part of everyone's life with very little effort.   Boldness is confidence in action.   Superbold is the ability to bring boldness and confidence to action when it matters most. If you are confide

Marni and Chris Gillis are back analyzing another reality dating show. This season’s Love is Blind is on the discussion block in this episode. The Love is Blind experiment attempts to discover if we are able to love somebody without meeting them face-to-face?   Key takeaways from this episode:   Discovering your core values Tacky online dating questions Beauty is subjective Don’t get emotionally invested too soon in the dating process Date more than one person until you have ‘the’ conversation   Discovering Dealbreakers & Non-Negotiables [2:42]   Chris sets up the premise for Love is Blind. The fascinating element of the show is that people are in pods and only have the opportunity to listen to each other. They ask questions to build an avatar about who the other people are. Questions get deep swiftly, avoiding normal surface-level interactions.   Contestants seem to narrow down their five core values quickly proving that initial physical attraction isn't necessary. They end up realizing what

Marni welcomes the foremost expert in unhealthy love addiction, Sherry Gaba to the podcast. Sherry is a licensed psychotherapist, life coach, and author who helps women cope with codependency, love addiction, toxic relationships, and all the mental health issues that go with it. Sherry has been featured on VH1 Celebrity Rehab, CNN, Inside Edition, and in Cosmopolitan and the LA Times. Her podcast, The Love Fix focuses on key learnings from her book, Love Smacked.   Key takeaways from this episode:   Signs of love addiction and obsessive love Three types of trauma bonding in relationships Why we attract toxic relationships How to break free from the cycle of love addiction Being vulnerable to love bombers and predators   Am I Addicted to Love? [2:15]   Sherry shares the common signs and symptoms of love addiction. It is a lifestyle process addiction that has the same mood-altering effects as a physical addiction with withdrawal symptoms. If there is a break up it can feel as difficult as overcomin

Marni welcomes the woman CNBC calls the Millennial Therapist, Tess Brigham to the Life Check Yourself studio. Tess is an expert Psychotherapist, Life Coach, and Public Speaker. For over 10-years, Tess has specialized in helping 20-somethings discover their unique life path so they can make an impact.   Key takeaways from this episode:   Reduce anxiety and overwhelm for young adults How Millennials and Gen Zers can carve their path to happiness What parents shouldn’t tell their young adult children Dating via social media and apps   How Recent Events Have Changed Young People [2:38]   Millennials find themselves in a different space. Many graduated college during the 2008-2009 recession and found themselves unable to afford a house when home prices righted themselves. They are in a tough predicament and some say they have given up trying to get ahead financially.   Gen Zers found themselves coming of age during the pandemic and missing some important milestones in life because the entire world close

Marni welcomes Sally Maxwell into the studio. Sally is the VP of HG Life division, a senior coach, and has a B.A. in theater and in music. She lives her life on her own terms and is passionate about working with people to transform their lives using the Handel method. During this episode, Sally breaks down the HG principles in a direct and loving way and offers practical tips and actions to get you off autopilot.   Key takeaways from this episode:   How to live your dreams Connecting to joy Getting measurable results Design a tagline for your life   The Handel Method [2:57]   The Handel method is an innovative, straightforward coaching method that changes the lives of private and corporate clients for over 20-years. It is taught at MIT, Stanford, and 50 other educational programs. What makes it different is that it is specific and measurable. It is one of the only methods that incorporates spirituality with the take the action and do the thing philosophy. Combining the elements creates a cohesive t

Marni, Man-alist Chris Gillis, and Dr. Emily recap the final episode of Season 26 of The Bachelor. Man-child Clayton ends up with Susie, even though she ultimately turned him down after finding out about his extracurricular activities. Gabby shows her emotional maturity as Rachel loses her eyelashes but both ladies will be Bachelorettes so everyone got what they wanted, or did they?   Key takeaways from this episode:   Trust yourself when dating Being authentic Clayton’s Yuck Factor is Exacerbated by His Lack of Empathy [1:26]   Chris points out that Clayton utilized the word salad bucket more than once during this episode. He blankly looks at all the ladies and says he has no regrets blah, blah, blah, and we all got our happy ending. Marni and Dr. Emily agree that it was a big cop-out and easier for him than actually having some empathy for the women he falsely proclaimed his love to.   When the girls shared their feelings and got vulnerable Clayton acted like he was bored to death. He quipped that he

Marni welcomes Master Certified Life Coach, Grief Expert, Widow, Mom, and Host of the Widowed Mom podcast, Krista St-Germain. Krista’s husband was killed by a drunk driver. When she finally emerged after therapy, she began working with clients to help them gain the tools to move forward and create a future they were excited about.   Key takeaways from this episode:   Forgiveness as a vehicle of healing Processing grief Self-care during grieving Dating after a loss Embracing feelings   A Widow’s Forgiveness [2:35]   Krista describes how she went from tragedy to living into her purpose. She says the first step was understanding that it was real. Her life changed in an instant. But, even through the trauma she says, a small part of her knew that it was possible to take the crappy cards she was dealt and deal herself some meaning in life.   She knew she had to step into forgiveness but it wasn’t easy. It took her a while to realize that the person who killed her husband was not in a good place or he

Marni, Chris, and Dr. Emily discuss the four-hour, two-part drama that was this past week’s The Bachelor. Clayton wants all the cake and Susie says he can’t have his cake and eat it too. Finding common ground about whether Clayton was being a jerk or was justified in his actions is a slippery slope as you will hear in this in-depth Bachelor breakdown.   Key takeaways from this episode:   Defining gaslighting Setting clear expectations and boundaries Dating with dignity Taking responsibility for your actions   Sex & Love [1:31]   First, Hey Internet — Gaslighting is not what you think it is! Dr. Emily defines gaslighting as intentionally lying to make someone feel like they are crazy. Clayton was not gaslighting when he reacted to Susie’s confrontation, he may have been withholding information but that is not gaslighting.   Backstory if you missed the episode, Clayton tells two women he loves them. He also had physical relations with Rachel and Gabby. Susie confronts him saying that if he is hav

Marni welcomes renowned financial guru and the founder of HealthyLoveandMoney.com, Ed Coambs into the Life Check Yourself studio. Ed helps couples deal with their money stuff. He is recognized as a thought leader who offers financial therapy. He has been cited in the WSJ, AP, NYT, and CNBC. He leads couples through therapy from financial despair and frustration into financial intimacy and connection.   Key takeaways from this episode:   How to practice financial empathy Solving money issues in a healthy way Discover your money attachment style The best time to talk about money when dating   Practicing Financial Empathy [1:54]   Ed says money conflict is not equal to other types of conflict. Money conflicts are more damaging to relationships than other types of conflict. Money represents security, safety, and freedom and it means different things to different people. Money can take on any meaning we give it. We use money for so many different purposes, psychologically speaking, it makes it a loaded

Marni and Chris Gillis reflect on the latest Bachelor episode as this season starts to taper off. This ho-hum sandbox of a season lacks the heart and compassion of previous Bachelor seasons. It seems Robot Clayton didn’t come pre-programmed with emotions or charm. It would be a travesty if he ended up with Gabby because she is a shiny gem amongst the dull rocks.   Key takeaways from this episode:   How long to date before getting engaged? Male and female communication styles Remembering heartfelt Bachelor seasons Being a goofball can be endearing   Is it Too Early to Get Engaged? [1:21]   Marni and Chris reminisce about Colton Underwood’s recent engagement. He had previously dated Bachelor contestant Cassie for two years then he revealed he was interested in men and now he is engaged to political strategist, Jordan Brown.   How long should a person wait to get engaged after leaving a long-term relationship? Marni thinks it should take over a year to know if a person has similar values or won't circ

Chris Gillis joins Marni to discuss the juicy dating nuggets from this week’s ho-hum The Bachelor episode. Clayton uses the show’s credit card to Pretty Womanize the contestants, but he is no Richard Gere. The Producers force therapy on the women whether they like it or not, and the probable frontrunner shares too much.   Key takeaways from this episode:  Meaningful gifts mean more than extravagant gifts Couples don’t go to therapy at the beginning of a relationship Some women stay too long with men who drain their energy Share how you feel without expounding   The Pretty Woman Date [2:03]  The pretense of the Pretty Woman date is to mimic the 1990s classic but falls short on entertainment value because we have evolved into 2022. Clayton, the handsome guy takes women to a fancy store and treats them like princesses. Marni wonders if buying clothes for a woman is really the royal treatment.   Chris questions whether women like this tactic or not. Marni says women just want to be treated like they are special

Marni welcomes the creator of the everchanging The Adventure Challenge game, Bryant Ellis. He is a risk-taking, rule-breaking high school dropout, entrepreneur, and newly-minted millionaire. As host of The Fail Journal podcast, he is determined to help people process failure as a lesson, not trauma.    Key takeaways from this episode:  Changing the way we process failure Why boundaries are important Releasing shame around failure  Rediscovering passion   The Adventure of Failing [1:48] Bryant had the desire to create a game that was different every time he played it. When he landed on The Adventure Challenge he continued to drill down to make the game more adventurous and make different versions for dating, family, etc. To date, he has sold millions of copies around the world. His side hustle became The Fail Journal podcast where he talks with people about their failures and how they process them. For Bryant,  failure has always been a numbers game in his head. He says if you process failure as trauma you m

Chris Gillis is back from vacation and rejoins Marni to discuss another episode of this extremely overproduced season of The Bachelor. Several of the main players are emotionally immature, including the leading man. Conversations seem canned, there is a lot of needless crying, and now that Clayton finally gave Shanae the boot, who will keep the drama alive?   Key takeaways from this episode:  Clayton plays follow the leader How to ask high-quality questions with follow up Crying as a default strategy is not communication Age truly is just a number   Clayton is Not a Leading Man [2:25] In being cast as the title role on The Bachelor, one might assume that Clayton would take on a leadership role and embody some leadership qualities. Unfortunately, his chameleon-like persona doesn’t allow him to take control of anything. He seems lost and unprepared for engagement or marriage.  In this episode, he finally gives Shanae the boot and then acted embarrassed that he didn’t do it sooner. It is as if he lacks the nad

Marni welcomes author and personal development expert Gary John Bishop into the Life Check Yourself studio to discuss the impacts of his books and teachings. Gary John describes how we can uncover our personal truth and venture into relationships without blame or baggage.    Key takeaways from this episode:  Let go of the need to be right Living an authentic life How to accomplish extraordinary things Forgiveness equals progress   Writing Unfu*k Yourself [1:47] Gary John did not want to write a book. He resisted when a marketing representative approached him with the idea. He didn't want to write a book called 'Be Great' because that is not his style. He was self-publishing, so he thought who cares what the title is. He was unwilling to do anything or write anything that felt inauthentic.  If you want to live an extraordinary life, you have to do something extraordinary.  Most people look at others who do extraordinary things and believe the other people have something special that propels them forward. But

Dating coach Robbie Kramer joins Marni to share insights and take a deep dive into the dating lessons from the last episode of The Bachelor. Are the producers keeping Shanae around just to make sure fans are awake? If they left it to the dull-edged sword, Clayton, fans might fall asleep. Is bagging a bore enough incentive to keep these beautiful women in the game?   Key takeaways from this episode:    Vulnerability or sob story? Can rugged good looks trump a dull bore What high emotional intelligence looks like Physical touch below the belt during sad conversations                Was That Really Vulnerable? [1:37]   When Gaby speaks with her mother reflects on the major difference between vulnerability and telling a sob story. Makes one wonder if the conversations were contrived based on a certain formula the producers put together? Real vulnerability is organic.    Dating tip —  Don’t get stuck in your head while dating. You can be emotionally prepared without being strategic about it. You don't ‘DO’ vuln

Marni is joined in the Life Check Yourself studio by the author and founder of Careers with Wings, Marcy Morrison. Marcy supports hundreds of people to live the life they love and to create a career from their passion. She also is a speaker at corporate conferences and a facilitator of life coaching workshops. Marcy shares her personal journey and steps for how we can form careers around what makes us happiest.   Key takeaways from this episode:  How to make what is important to you first in life Creating more than two options for your career You don’t have to blow up your old life to create a new one Having a create short-term strategy   Save the World or Sell Your Soul? [2:22] Marcy didn't feel she fit into her generation. She always wanted more than the two paths others took.  She felt she only had two options. One, work for a corporation and sell her soul or save the world and live in poverty. She slowly realized that she could do more to save the world with a degree in business than on volunteer journe

Dating coach Robbie Kramer joins Marni to share his insights and dive into the dating details from the last episode of The Bachelor, the “Shrimp Gate/Mean Girls” episode. Shanae gets aggressive, again. Clayton seems pretty well put together, yet the producers continue to show a clip of him crying about how broken he is, and no one understands why Rachel is a contestant.   Key takeaways from this episode:  Guys lose interest in girls who do all the work Being aggressive might get you laid but won’t land a long-term relationship Are men afraid you will outshine them? Being blinded by attraction   Look at How Attractive I Am [1:14] Shanae’s out for blood approach may be catching Clayton’s attention for now, but both Marni and Robbie agree that it is a short-term strategy. If she continues to lead with sex after the oats are sewn, she will be left with unanswered texts and no flowers on Valentines’ Day. If a guy is grounded in his masculinity, overly aggressive physical behavior will be a turn-off.  Many women

Marni welcomes Choyo Wilson-Daniels into the Life Check Yourself studio to discuss what is holding women back from making more money. Choyo is a premier mindset coach who founded Loveshift Coaching for women who want to run their business on their terms. Choyo is a seasoned entrepreneur who teaches her truth from her past struggles as a business owner.    Key takeaways from this episode:  Removing money blocks Moving from scarcity to abundance Overcoming a fear of money Releasing old programming around money   What Holds Women Back from Making More Money? [2:08] The biggest thing holding women back from not making more money is their belief that they are not enough, they are too old, they need to lose weight, or any other belief that they are not enough. Choyo says many women don’t make decisions until they feel the conditions are just right but then use excuses of why the time isn’t right. Sometimes the smarter we are, the gap gets wider between what we want and what we actually have in our lives. A lot of