Being Well With Dr. Rick Hanson

We often know what we “should” do, but that doesn’t mean it’s easy to do it. Today Dr. Rick and Forrest are joined by Dr. Scott Barry Kaufman and Dr. Jordyn Feingold to explore how we can learn to consistently choose our best selves, overcome barriers to growth, and fully actualize ourselves. About our Guests: Scott is a cognitive scientist, humanistic psychologist, professor at Columbia University, host of the popular Psychology Podcast, and the author of 10 books, including Transcend: The New Science of Self-Actualization. Jordyn is a resident physician in psychiatry, a well-being researcher, and a positive psychology practitioner. Together, they’re the authors of the recently released Choose Growth: A Workbook for Transcending Trauma, Fear, and Self-Doubt. Watch the Episode: Prefer watching video? You can watch this episode on YouTube. Key Topics: 0:00: Introduction 1:40: Why the title Choose Growth? 3:50: Balancing growth and discomfort 7:20: The value of social support 12:00: Growth from positive experie

This is the podcast’s five-year anniversary, and over that time I’ve submerged myself in psychology, self-help, and personal growth content - and as a result I’ve changed in many important ways. At the same time, some things have been very hard to change. It's surprising how even after learning so much I still often feel like I’m pushing the same old rocks up the same old hills.  On today’s episode I’m joined by Dr. Rick Hanson to explore why we struggle to get better, how much change is realistically possible, what makes real change hard, the hidden barriers to lasting change, and what we can do to overcome them. Watch the Episode: Prefer watching video? You can watch this episode on YouTube. Key Topics: 0:00: Introduction 3:55: Why do you want to change? 4:50: Four fundamental strategies 7:00: Three common issues 9:20: Effort, skillfulness, and luck 12:40: People’s autonomy about whether they want to change or not 13:50: “Tailwinds” to help yourself 17:30: Secondary gains, avoiding change, and naming payoff

We’ve come to the end of another year, and it’s a good time to take stock and consider how we’d like to grow and change during our next trip around the sun. In this episode, Forrest and Dr. Rick focus on what supports us and what holds us back from reinventing ourselves and becoming all we wish to be. They talk about how they’d like to change over the next year, different approaches to new year’s resolutions, do a little digging around in Forrest’s psyche, and highlight a few practical things we can do to support our growth.  New Course From Rick! Learn the lessons of a lifetime in the new and improved Foundations of Wellbeing 2.0 program. This yearlong, online program teaches you how to grow the 12 key inner strengths that lead to lasting wellbeing during difficult times. Our New Year’s sale is going on now, and you can use the code BeingWell25 to get an additional 25% off the purchase price.Watch the Episode: Prefer watching video? You can watch this episode on YouTube. Key Topics: 0:00: Introduction 1:55:

We think of stress as “bad” for you, but what if some forms of stress could actually help us grow and change for the better? On today’s episode Forrest and Dr. Rick are joined by Dr. Elissa Epel, a psychologist and leading stress researcher, to explore the science behind the stress response. They talk about the different forms of stress, what separates “good” stress from “bad” stress, how we can take advantage of good stress, and dealing with existential forms of stress like the climate crisis.  About our Guest: Elissa Epel is a psychologist, bestselling author, and a Professor and Vice Chair in the Department of Psychiatry at the University of California, San Francisco. Her research focuses on stress, well-being, and optimal aging. She’s also the best-selling co-author of The Telomere Effect, and her newest book is The Stress Prescription: Seven Days to More Joy and Ease. New Course From Rick! Learn the lessons of a lifetime in the new and improved Foundations of Wellbeing 2.0 program. This yearlong, online

Criticism is an unavoidable part of life. But even though we’re all going to be criticized from time to time, many of us spend much of our lives living in fear of criticism. Then, on the flip side, we’re all critics ourselves. We’ve all been in situations that aren’t quite what we want them to be – so we need to either do something to change them or accept them as they are.  On this episode Dr. Rick and Forrest focus on how we can get better at receiving and giving criticism, learn to accept what lies outside of our control, and avoid the “mood of complaint.” New Course From Rick! Learn the lessons of a lifetime in the new and improved Foundations of Wellbeing 2.0 program. This yearlong, online program teaches you how to grow the 12 key inner strengths that lead to lasting wellbeing during difficult times. It’s currently 50% off, and you can use the code BeingWell25 to get an additional 25% off the purchase price. Watch the Episode: Prefer watching video? You can watch this episode on YouTube. Key Topics: 0:0

“All the time I work with dying people, and only a few of them know they are dying.”  On this episode of Being Well, Soto Zen teacher Sensei Koshin Paley Ellison joins Forrest and Rick to explore living, dying, and personal practice in the midst of our beautiful, challenging, messy lives.    About our Guest: Sensei Koshin is an author, Zen teacher, Jungian psychotherapist, and co-founder of the New York Zen Center for Contemplative Care. He began his formal Zen training in 1987 and completed six years of training at the Jungian Psychoanalytic Association. His most recent book is Untangled: Walking the Eightfold Path to Clarity, Courage, and Compassion. Watch the Episode: Prefer watching video? You can watch this episode on YouTube. Key Topics: 0:00: Introduction 1:40: Koshin’s got game 3:20: The privilege of witnessing the dying process 11:25: Difficult emotions that come up when considering death  16:00: Entanglement vs. spaciousness 28:30: Windows of acceptance, and the things we don’t want to accept 33:15:

We’re living in an anxious time, and part of the reason we’re anxious is because there are very real challenges we face both individually and collectively. But we’re also affected by the natural tendencies of the brain, which is easily influenced by fear and threat. On this episode of Being Well, Dr. Rick and Forrest Hanson focus on how we can see threats clearly and be the “right amount” of concerned.  Watch the Episode: Prefer watching video? You can watch this episode on YouTube. Key Topics: 0:00: Introduction 1:20: Why is it hard for us to see threats without excessive worry? 3:35: Transcending evolutionary influences toward fear 6:30: The last time Rick took LSD 10:45: Discerning what’s valuable in our anxieties, and leaving the rest 15:45: Forrest’s apartment fire story 17:35: Disagreements in evaluating a threat between people 21:55: Probability of risk 25:00: Practical techniques to assess threats with more clarity 29:30: Existential acceptance 33:30: Help for anxiety about anxiety 37:15: Recap New Co

These days couples often shoot for 50/50 in their relationships: an even split of responsibilities in the home or at work. But 50/50 often leads to fights over fairness, and this fixation on fairness can be the death of many relationships. On this episode of Being Well, Forrest and Dr. Rick are joined by Nate and Kaley Klemp to explore how we can build fun, fulfilling, and truly equitable relationships. Topics include Nate and Kaley’s early relationship struggles, different models of relationship, breaking out of old patterns, and how we can manage situations where one partner really is contributing significantly more than the other. About our Guests: Kaley Klemp is an executive coach and expert on small-group dynamics, and Nate Klemp is a bestselling author and founding partner at Mindful, one of the world's largest mindfulness media and training companies. Together, they’re the co-authors of The 80/80 Marriage: A New Model for a Happier, Stronger Relationship.  Watch the Episode: Prefer watching video? You 

If you’re the kind of person who listens to mental health podcasts, you’re more likely than average to get pulled into an impromptu “helping role” with your family and friends. Sometimes we seek out these roles, but they can also be uncomfortable or one-sided. And sometimes we get stuck playing a role for someone else that we never wanted in the first place. On this episode of Being Well, Forrest and Dr. Rick use this situation as a way in to exploring the various roles we play in life, and the profound impact those often unconscious roles have on us. They talk about relationship models, how we select our roles, how familiar roles can keep us trapped in old patterns, enactments and triangulation, and how we can exit unhealthy systems. Watch the Episode: Prefer watching video? You can watch this episode on YouTube. Key Topics: 0:00: Introduction 2:50: The hazards of accidentally becoming a friend’s therapist 6:45: Objectivity, professionalism, and not needing to be liked 11:00: The roles we take on and how the

It’s one thing to feel good about what we do, and another to feel truly worthy from the inside out. When we increase our self-worth it allows us to take our needs more seriously, get on our own side, and change our lives for the better.  On this episode of Being Well, Rick and Forrest explore how we can develop a more durable sense of self-worth. They talk about self-worth vs. self-esteem, what causes people to lack self-worth, Rick’s personal story of developing a true sense of worthiness, and why more self-worth probably won’t turn you into a narcissistic a**hole. Watch the Episode: Prefer watching video? You can watch this episode on YouTube. Key Topics: 0:00: Introduction 1:00: The value of self-worth 2:50: Will improving my self-worth turn me into a narcissist? 5:45: What makes people more likely to struggle with self-worth? 6:50: Distinguishing self-worth from self-esteem 9:30: Rick’s own journey to a better sense of self-worth 14:55: Inner attacker, inner nurturer, and the beleaguered self. 19:15: The

Diego Perez, widely known by his pen name Yung Pueblo, joins Forrest to explore how we can deepen our personal practice, refine the mind, break old patterns, relax the self, and feel lighter than we were before. This was one of my absolute favorite conversations I’ve had on the podcast, and being with Diego was a real pleasure. I hope you enjoy it as much as I did. About our Guest: Diego Perez is a poet, meditator, and New York Times bestselling author widely known through his pen name Yung Pueblo. His writing focuses on how we can grow and change for the better, create healthy relationships, and come to truly know ourselves. His newest book is Lighter: Let Go of the Past, Connect with the Present, and Expand the Future. Watch the Episode: Prefer watching video? You can watch this episode on YouTube. Key Topics: 0:00: Introduction 0:55: Why the name Yung Pueblo? 2:35: What holds most people back from growth 4:35: Habits Diego struggled with and the logical basis of coping mechanisms 9:15: Moments of insight i

We all make mistakes in life. When we do it's important to take appropriate responsibility, feel the "wince," and make amends as we can. But after we've done that...then what? Many people find it easier to forgive others than they do to truly forgive themselves, and it's not uncommon to be burdened by excessive shame and guilt that has outlived its expiration date. On this episode Dr. Rick and Forrest explore forgiveness, including how we can forgive ourselves. This includes common myths and misunderstandings about forgiveness, the difference between healthy and unhealthy forms of shame and remorse, coming to terms with what we've done, and a roadmap to achieving (self-)forgiveness.  Key Topics: 0:00: Introduction 2:05: Assumptions, approval, and what forgiveness is and is not 7:45: What does healthy remorse look like? 10:00: Forrest exploring a dream about appropriate remorse 13:00: Our internalized justice system 17:00: More on dreams and internal parts 24:25: Aspects of unhealthy remorse 27:30: How to move

On today’s episode of Being Well, Dr. Bessel van der Kolk, the author of The Body Keeps the Score, joins Rick and Forrest to explore how trauma keeps us stuck, and how we can use imagination, self-expression, and creativity to break away from those old patterns. Along the way they talk about using somatic and non-cognitive interventions, internalized abuse, the value of a developmental perspective, using psychedelics for complex trauma, some of the problems with modern psychiatry, and how we can cultivate an equitable, flexible, and compassionate approach to treatment. About Our Guest: Bessel van der Kolk is a professor of Psychiatry at the Boston University School of Medicine and president of the Trauma Research Foundation in Brookline, Massachusetts. He’s also the bestselling author of The Body Keeps the Score, which is one of the most influential modern books in the field.  Key Topics: 0:00: Introduction 1:15: Imagination and aspirational thinking in healing trauma 4:55: Creativity and cultural context 6:1

On this episode of Being Well, Rick and Forrest answer questions from listeners. They explore what they’re still working on in their relationship, how we can disengage from obsessive thoughts and old patterns, Rick’s thoughts on psychedelics and how they can be used with discernment, their views on whether human nature is innately cooperative or competitive, and much more. If you’d like to ask a question to be answered on the show, send us an email at contact@beingwellpodcast.com or support us on Patreon. Watch the Episode: Prefer watching video? You can watch this episode on YouTube. Key Topics: 0:00: Introduction 1:10: What do Rick and Forrest still find challenging in their relationship? 8:40: What to do with obsessive thoughts 17:00: What to do when old patterns creep up 26:35: Rick’s thoughts on taking psychedelics with intention outside of therapy 35:05: Respect for indigenous tradition around psychedelic plant use 37:00: Interpretation, discernment, and drugs as telescopes 42:45: Compassionate justice

In 2016 Jason Kander was a rising star in the Democratic Party. After narrowly losing the race to become one of Missouri’s Senators, he began laying the groundwork for a Presidential run. Jason unexpectedly pivoted to declaring his candidacy for the 2019 Kansas City mayoral election, and quickly became the clear favorite. Three months into that campaign he ended his candidacy and stepped back from public life after revealing that he had suffered from PTSD and depression after serving as an intelligence officer in Afghanistan in 2006 and 2007 On today’s episode of Being Well, Jason joins Forrest to talk about his personal journey recovering from PTSD, the impact of his time serving in Afghanistan, imposter syndrome and shame, having a mental health challenge in public, and what we can do to better support veterans.  About our Guest: Jason is a former Missouri Secretary of State and member of the Missouri state legislature. He’s current the President of National Expansion at Veterans Community Project, a non-pr

On the previous episode of Being Well, we talked about how to identify our wants and needs...but identifying our needs is just the first step. After that comes the tricky business of coming to terms with those needs, and communicating them effectively to other people. In this episode, Dr. Rick and Forrest Hanson explore best practices for claiming and expressing our needs. This includes how to navigate shame and inhibition, make effective agreements, be considerate of the person on the receiving end of our wants, and become more skillful at negotiation and repair.  Watch the Episode: Prefer watching video? You can watch this episode on YouTube. Key Topics: 0:00: Introduction 2:05: Getting real about meeting our needs. 7:10: Suppressing needs due to self-worth challenges 8:35: Patience, making your offering, and tipping points 11:45: Inhibition, and negotiating our needs with other people 15:50: Non-Violent Communication and “Wise Speech” models 26:30: The need for multiple cycles of communication 28:20: Expec

Everyone has needs, but many people find it difficult to identify what authentically matters to them. Even when we can identify them, shame or fear often stops us from expressing those needs to others or taking the practical steps that would help us achieve them. Meeting our needs is a major source of well-being, and people who can identify their needs are more likely to get them met. On today’s episode of Being Well, Dr. Rick and Forrest Hanson focus on how to look inside, and figure out what you really need. They discuss different frameworks for categorizing our needs, what to do when we are confused by our desires, and how to get in touch with what you really want. Watch the Episode: Prefer watching video? You can watch this episode on YouTube. Key Topics: 0:00: Introduction 2:05: Common features among people who struggle to name their desires 7:05: Three basic steps to relate to wants and needs 8:00: Different frameworks for categorizing wants and needs 21:00: What helped Rick get in touch with his own wa

Renowned physician Dr. Gabor Maté joins Rick and Forrest to explore the many problems for our bodies and minds that arise out of our modern culture, and what we can do to meet our needs, heal ourselves, and become more whole. They discuss our increasing separation from one another, issues with aspects of the medical model, the true nature of addiction, the developmental needs of children, the myth of “normal,” and recovering from traumatic experiences. About Our Guest: Dr. Gabor Maté is one of the world’s leading experts on trauma, addiction, and childhood development. His work has had an enormous impact on how we understand the interactions between our internal world and the world around us, and he is the bestselling author of In the Realm of Hungry Ghosts, Scattered Minds, and his newest book The Myth of Normal: Trauma, Illness & Healing in a Toxic Culture. Watch the Episode: Prefer watching video? You can watch this episode on YouTube. Key Topics: 0:00: Introduction 1:55: What Gabor means by a toxic cultur

We all have narcissistic traits. Having some sense of our own specialness isn’t just normal, it’s actually psychologically healthy. The problems start when people go beyond normal levels, and become addicted to feeling special. On this episode, Forrest is joined by Dr. Craig Malkin to explore narcissism and narcissistic traits. They talk about the different forms narcissism takes, the difference between narcissistic traits and narcissistic personality disorder (NPD), red flags, dealing with narcissists, treatment options, and finding the “right amount” of feeling special. About our Guest: Dr. Malkin is a Lecturer in Psychology for Harvard Medical School, a licensed psychologist with several decades of clinical experience, and the author of Rethinking Narcissism: The Secret to Recognizing and Coping with Narcissists. He also has a great YouTube channel.  Watch the Episode: Prefer watching video? You can watch this episode on YouTube. Key Topics: 0:00: Introduction 1:35: Narcissism as a pervasive universal trai

We all experience big, difficult feelings, from common emotions like uncertainty, anger, despair, and regret, to difficult experiences like the pains of comparison, burnout, and perfectionism. On today’s episode of Being Well Podcast, Forrest is joined by the wonderful author, coach, and content creator Mollie West Duffy to explore how we can accept those big feelings, learn to live alongside them, and develop tools that help us deal with them more effectively. About Our Guest: Mollie is an expert in organizational design, development, and leadership who has helped advise and coach executives and founders at companies including Google, Casper, and LinkedIn. She’s the co-author of the bestselling book No Hard Feelings: The Secret Power of Embracing Emotions at Work, and the recently released Big Feelings: How To Be Okay When Things Are Not Okay, and is also one half of the Instagram account, @lizandmollie.  Watch the Episode: Prefer watching video? You can watch this episode on YouTube. Key Topics: 0:00: Intro