Here's An Idea!

What if plan, but good? What if bosses, but vanquished? What if Boys™, but... free? In the final episode of Here’s An Idea, all of these questions and more will be answered.

Someone will contact you, Podophiles, at the specified time and place. They will give you the prompt: Where has Kris been? You MUST reply with this EXACT passphrase, or you will be killed on the spot: Butt contest. Davey at the dentist. Dave’s Trainer. Are we bad at robots? How Would Mrs. E. use our boy parts? RUFFIGANS!? Kris’s Nakey-cakes. Godspeed.

Podophiles, what is the best part of waking up? Is it egg? Is it horse? Is it finding out, after all these episodes, that Joel is dumb? Is it heating up a Ney York slice in the Michaelwave? Is it deciding, once and for all, what TRUE masculinity is? Is it proving that skaters are the same as jocks, or shopping for off-brand Halloween costumes? Is it having ONE FINAL CONFRONTATION WITH ROY, WHERE THE OUTCOME WILL DECIDE THE ULTIMATE FATE OF THE BOYS (at least for this episode)?!?!?!? Nah, it’s coffee.

Hey, Podophiles. How you doin’? The Boys™ are blissed the FUCK out. This episode is all chill vibes, no stress, taking it down a notch, and most of all CHILL VIBES. Nuzzle into your couch, eat a sandwich bag full of nondescript pills and learn the special skills of each boy, while they turn Explosm into an AirBnB… I mean, HELP Mr. Explosm with his plan to reclaim his company.

WHERE HAVE THE BOYS™ BEEN?!?!?! It’s a mystery… myster...e...MISTER… E?! Dun Dun DUHHHHHH! Also: Clothes as big as you, Beauty & The Beast on the first day of the curse, IKEA Furniture fornication, and casting Boys™ (especially Rob) in movies.

Shaving accidents! Ed Sheeran body pillows! Dave sucks at French! Mindhumper?! YES! All of that, plus a build up of sexual whale energy. The Boys™ also dig into classic literature this week in an effort to stave off whatever Roy’s grand scheme is.

The Sex Number™ is upon us, and The Boys™ are horny as hell! This week: Which boys name their dicks? Where were you when the chicken sandwich wars started? Do you ACTUALLY 69? Did Dave’s Sex Ed. teacher, Sexual Edward, cross the line? What if your knees had nipples? Can you pleasure someone with your nose? And, finally, what’s the deal with Mormons and “soaking?” Please do not listen to this episode while driving, because the desire to FUCK will definitely make you crash your car into oil tanker. You’ve been warned.

This week The Boys™ are taking it back, WAY BACK to the earliest days of flash animation, and telling tales of how they (minus Joel) got started in their chosen field as cartoon boys. They also explore the origins of an animation legend who overcame an abusive upbringing to create an animation empire, and eventually become a spider robot.

This week The Boys™ transform themselves into morning radio shock jocks, take Neil DeGrasse Tyson down a peg, upgrade Roy’s robo-anatomy, and get amorous with some piping hot pastries.

As the title implies, this is a very passionate episode. There’s Dave’s passion for lifting, Kris’s passion for dinosaurs and Joel’s passion for being passionate. There’s also every boy’s passion for shit-talking Rob when he’s away. Mrs. Explosm returns and demands IDEAS™ from THE BOYS™ in the form of video game pitches. She wants that Playstation 4 money, BABYYYYYY!!!

Dave and Joel do their best to educate Roy on the wasted potential of male nipples, the Cosby Matrix, the relative heights of various boys (especially Rob), and the origins of the Celtic Knot. It’s a duplicitous and dubious affair.

Roy is here. To celebrate his arrival, The Boys™ talk about recent adventures at the Rooster and Hen Convention™ and The Annual Video Convention™, as well as Junior, Benjamin Button, Cars 3 and other movies that make boys cry.

It’s a two-boy pod this week! With Dave and Kris at The Annual Video Convention™, Rob and Joel do their best to figure out… what actually goes on at The Annual Video Convention™. SPOILERS: They DO NOT figure it out. They also discuss professional Minecraft YouTuber tours and how Aerosmith can stay relevant in the age of TikTok. ADDITIONAL SPOILERS: They can’t.

This week The Boys™ are practicing their airplane accents, learning how to do impressions with mouth marbles, and celebrating the shit out of the 4th of July. There’s also military dogs, Hitler’s Ham Tanks and exploding hotdogs! If that doesn’t sound like a podcast, what does? WHAT DOES?!

I hope you like BIG CHANGES™, Podophiles, because BIG CHANGES™ are a’coming, courtesy of Ms. Explosm. Before we get into that, we’ve got: Rob Schneider’s organs, school dances, Zach Efron is the Ubermensch, FMK Nic Cage/Ghostrider, which of The Boys™ can secretly breakdance, and how to hide your dance boner!

The Boys™, sans Joel, can barely contain their glee at the thought of a Mrs. Explosm-free day! Whatever will they do with their time? Why, discuss such topics as Joel's weird knees, volcano envy, penis roulette, Smokey Joe's barbecue and Lion King cloud powers of course!

I hope you came ready to learn, Podophiles, but this episode is educational AF. We’ve got everything you need to know about face tattoos, Kevin McAllister: Party Monster and Pete & Pete. Plus The Boys™ Invent a great new derogatory term for Americans, a new slogan for the Dallas Pride Festival and a new, all-purpose catchphrase! Finally, they’ll teach you how any group of little boys is a little gay, how porn should be nicer to ladies and what happens when a blind, deaf bank robber, well... robs a bank.

Once again, Dave and Joel find themselves alone in a hole. But this hole doesn’t contain emails or noise. No, it contains nothing but their own dark, contemplative thoughts. Thoughts like: What’s up with bad neighbors? Is this behavior normal, or just Dave? Can we get our aggression in check? Why does Dave think he grew up in Game of Thrones? How do we deal with babies on flights? Vigo The Carpathian or Vigo The Channing Tatum? And, finally, is it true? DOES this man have no dick? Settle down and get comfy, cuz it’s time to TALK TO WALL.

Podophiles it’s time to reinvent the concept of modern cinema, starting with film adaptations of Dick Dock vs. Dig Dug, Darren Aronofsky’s Dr. Mario, George Foreman Grill: The Movie, The Yaoi Babadook, and that Schwarzenegger archeology-adventure classic, Diggin’ Up My Great Great Great Grandpa’s Bones. Let’s do lunch to work out the deets. Have your people call my people, then my people will fax me in my limo which they are not allowed in.

Pop quiz, hotshot! Which fighting video game character would you fuck? What do you do if a friend sends you porn they think you would like? Are your MSN and Hotmail accounts still active? Is Chris Pine a butthole-seeking homunculoid? What movies took place in the distant future of 2019? What was Mr. DNA really up to?! Ok, pass your papers to your neighbor and we’ll grade them as a class.