Dad And Buried

Ever think that you had kids at the wrong time in your life? If only you had them earlier you wouldn't be so damned tired all the time. Then again, if you had them any younger youd've lost your formative party years when you were on the scene crushing it [Read: eating cereal in your underwear watching Judge Judy re-runs till 3am]. Don't worry, friend you're not alone (well I guess we're all alone ultimately) there are others who feel the same way. Thier names are Mike and Pete and they explore all the angles in this episode.  Support us

So what is a dad bod? Is it an echo of your former body before you had kids just a lot softer and rounder? Yes. Are people in to dad bods? Yes, mainly dads but also some people who live on the fringes of our society. Once again we have to thank the Internet for delivering us such a beautiful phrase that captures the struggle of trying to keep fit post kid. The term Dad Bod represents a shift in the cultural zeitgeist. Now parents have a choice, either lean into it and let their dad bod flag fly OR stand and fight to keep your body fit. Fighting, the dad bod can mean just eating healthier or working or more or not finishing that second bottle of wine (don't judge me!). Mike and Pete discuss their dad bods in this ultimate guide (editor's note: this is less an ultimate guide and more like directions hastily drawn on a cocktail napkin wadded up in my pocket but that's hard to fit in the title). Viva Dad Bods! Support us

As an adult, what's not to like about Halloween? All you have to do is simply click any buy your kid a costume in a bag. Easy. Oh wait, you mean the night before they don't want to be an Avenger  anymore they want to be a ghost. Just a regular ghost. No problem, you didn't need that $80 you spent on the costume anyway. Oh but, the ghost costume you now had to take a day off of work to make isn't the "right kind of ghost" and now they are in a full meltdown while your other kid(s) and wife/hub are yeling at you because you don't have a costume that goes with the theme - YES WHY WON'T YOU THINK OF THE FAMILY THEME!! YOU RUIN EVERYTHING!!! *Ahem* I'm ok. Mike and Pete do what they do worst; talk about it.  Support us

How did we get here??! It's almost 2020. We should be traveling around in flying cars wearing well tailored, monochromatic jumpsuits, but instead we're trying to convince people that they need to vaccinate their kids and that the earth is round. What's the basis? Why has the movie Idiocracy become more a prophetic guide to the future than overlooked comedy from 2006 (watch it). We hit 100 ratings in iTunes so we promised to do a controversial topic. Welp, here you go...As always Mike and Pete do a poor job.   Support us

Remember that time you wanted to go out to do that thing? Well, you can't. You have soccer practice. Then you need to pick up your other kid at dance. No, wait, it's Tuesday! Soccer's tomorrow!  You need to get little Timmy from Karate BUT THAT WAS 20 MINS AGO!!!! GAHHHH! Not to be melodramatic, but scheduling your life and your kids activities both sucks AND blows. Mike and Pete get into it the best they can, which is not really very good. Support us

WARNING: This episode may contain theme tunes that you cannot get out of your head! There a few kids shows out there that are actually good *cough* Yo Gabba Gabba *cough*. But most fall onto the heap as just bland, non sensical, vehicles to sell merchandise. Actually, when I put it that way it's a pretty good business model *squinting and shaking head* No, stay strong. From Peppa Pig, Puppy Dog Pals, PJ Masks, Bluey, Blipi, ninjago and Paw Patrol (the one where Rubble dies at the end) Mike and Pete cover it all.   Support us

Me:  Put your phone down! My Kid: You put YOUR phone down. [5 pts away from my high score] Me: I'm working on an email!!  As parents are we the ones who are wrong for saying one thing then doing another? No. NO! It's the KIDS that are wrong! It's our job to make these kids better than we are. I know it's a low bar, but it's a necessity.  Hypocritical parenting is the cornerstone for all parenting. oh, you think that sounds like a hyperbole? You're wrong. I don't even know what hyperbole means. Mike an Pete get all up in it.   Support us

Potty training has to be the best part of parenting. It has a little bit of everything, crying, shouting, lying - all things you'll do to get out of training your kid to use the potty.  So, are you are "shamer" (let them make a mess and deal with the consequences) or a "briber" (find the kids weakness, eg Pokemon, and use it against them #classic)? Mike and Pete share listener stories along their own. It's all bad. Support us

"Pfft, I don't have a favorite kid" you say as you nervously laugh laugh it off and look down at the ground. Congratulations, you played yourself, cause ya do. Those who have one one kid you're going to have to sit this one out - though Mike and Peter cover that too. No one wants to admit it, but it's true. Yes it may vary by age, phase or even by day but you know you have a favorite. The question is do you announce it to the family? Mike and Pete get all up in it.  Support us

WE DID IT!!!! We made it through another summer.  I know you're going to miss screaming the  "stop fighting with your brother!" and "What do you mean the beach is boring?" and "how is it possible to play Roblox for 8 straight hours!?" Well, my friends, their time is up (for some kids it was 3 weeks ago - don't get me started). They're someone else's problem now. Bring on the routine! Bring on the early bedtimes! Bring on making lunches every morning. Bring on screaming matches as you try to get your kids out the door....wait, WTF?! Mike and Pete discuss.  Support us

Car seats, kids water bottles, calling parents by their first names -  all things that never existed when we were growing up. When we took car trips as kids the highlight was riding facing backwards in the station wagon with one working lap belt. But now, oh boy, the rules of parenting have changed; from discipline to technology to constant water consumption it's all water bottles all the time. Was it better then or is it better now? Mike and Pete get into it all.  Support us

It's our 30th episode so we decided to do something a little different. We (Mike) wanted to let you guys ask questions in this very special "mail bag" (or male bag) episode. Do you guys ask some really good questions? Yes. Do we do a good job of answering them? No, no we don't. Don't be fooled by that clickbaity title, if you're into long answers with little substance than this episode is for you! But cut us some slack it's our 30th episode!!! Support us

Have you every tried to get your kids to eat a food that you don't like cause it's good for them *cough* peas *cough*? Or how about told your kids no screen time as you're scrolling through your feed? Ok so we're all jerks, what's new? 1) don't let these kids know these double standards exist (I know they're probing) and 2) by acknowledging it and talking about it openly we can learn new techniques from each other to keep these little buggers on their toes. Mike and Peter get into it. Support us

Ok, so you're your kid's favorite parent. Congrats! But there's a dark underside. Much like a dealer (you) selling to an strung out addict (your kid) looking to score one more hit, in this case being next to you. Unlike a dealer, you don't get any money in exchange and you end up paying the price with your time a energy (forget showering without a tiny human sitting next to you asking bad questions - yes there is such a thing). This analogy went sideways, but you get it. It's hard out here for a fav parent. Mike and Peter get into it. Support us

There's a lot of parental sugar-coating going on. From ads with parents smiling while wiping up messes to IG accounts filled with beautiful families sitting around a table eating. What you don't see is the strung out parents screaming at crying kids because "NO you can't wear your socks on your hands for DINNER!!!" The truth about parenting is out there [SPOILER: It's hard].  Mike And Pete expose it with the help of the D&B Community. Give us your tired; give us your fed up; for together we shall keep it real and bitch about these kids!! Support us

Trying to get kids to eat so they can stay alive can be one of the most frustrating things a parent can do. Sprinkle in a little attitude and add a dollop of ungratefulness and you got the perfect recipe for yelling at mealtime. You don't want to eat? FINE! Oh, but now you're hungry and all you want to eat are mini coc-chip muffins? NO WAY! This episode Mike and Pete cover it all in 100 degree "studio" and discover the one thing we can all agree on is that Lima beans are gross - TRUE FACT!  Support us

Have you ever been in the middle of disciplining your kid when your spouse comes over and immediately undercuts any shred of authoritah you might have? It might go something like this "Oh relax. The kids are just having fun. Kids, don't worry about it." That's it. That's all it takes. You're just standing there while kids continue to jump on the couch while eating ice cream. Parenting is hard and when you and your spouse disagree with how to do it you show weakness. And thats EXACTLY what these kids are probing for: weakness. Mike and Pete discuss.  Support us

Do you feel the itching, burning desire to control every aspect of your kid's life? Well, you too may be what doctors refer to as a "Helicopter Parent." In this episode Mike and Pete cover off on what makes this most annoying kind of parent.  Support us

Is it better to raise kids near family or far...far away? How much is free baby sitting really worth? It's great that your kids are close to their grandparents, but when they come over do they really always have to comment about the Led Zeppelin poster hanging in the living room!? It's MY House MOM and I can do what ever I WANT *slams bedroom door*. Mike and Pete  get into it.  Support us