Here's An Idea!

The boys blast off into the new year with this space race of an episode. It’s got Batman’s Butler, TSA talk, f*ckable beach bugs, flavored condoms, Jeffrey Dahmer’s Hot Pockets™, Husband Pranks!, Space Whales… Jesus™, this episode might just have it all.

This week, the Boys explore the oldest of old school hip hop, Sam Neil’s interstellar space-hell sex romp and subsequent missing eyes. Rob proposes parenting children via “The Wheel Of Fate,” and everyone weighs in on marriage prostitution (it’s legal in Nevada). Gouge your eyes out with a Wiimote and pray Santa replaces them with coal. It’s an Xmas podcast miracle!

It’s wee little Davey’s birthday, so he gets an hour that all about him, all about his fears, all about what he wants for his birthday, all about his mum, and all about his giant daddy that gives him egg. I hope you’ve been practicing your bass gallops, because Iron Maiden needs an emergency bass player, STAT!

Are you ready to have your faces melted by electric sex guitar wizard magic?! NO?! Well, what about a couple of goobers dicking around on two banged up acoustic guitars while answering your emails? Cuz we got that second thing in spades! Dave and Joel strap on their axes and let the meedley squeedly tasty rock jams fly in this first ever all (or mostly) musical episode of Here's An Idea!

The boys find out who made it on the Worst Mom’s List 2018, Rob discovers a terrifyingly sexxy fact about elephant breasts, Joel pontificates on having gay thoughts in the jungle and Dave proposes new terminology for people who… do something with cows… it’s hard to understand. Get ready to make that Nestle Quick money (baby). It’s wine time!

The boys really outdo themselves on this one. This episode has it all: Dirty Pony Express Letters, Dick Wanted Pics, Naughty Nose Powder, Racist Cartoon Opinions, Mastodon Facts, a brief mention of a Renaissance Faire, Wedge Salads… I mean, what else could you possibly want. Travel down the River Styx in a scary man’s mouth, it’s time to find out who’s a good boy and who’s a Hell boy!

Well, it’s “No [insert whatever] November” again and you know what that means? A month of depriving yourself of whatever semblance of pleasure this barren hellscape reality still offers! The boys spending all month abstaining from doing their jobs, and instead talk about hats, shirts, the teachings of Old Father Mountain and Wyoming schools. Grab your hat and/or shirt, it’s time to answer important questions about the ideal temperature of farts!

The Podophiles are emailing the boys faster than the boys can ignore them! Mrs. Explosm demands they reach Inbox Zero before the hour is done. If this episode isn’t funny, it’s YOU’RE fault. If it’s great, it’s because we spun gold out of your terrible ideas.

The Boys are back together [SPOILERS] and Kris is doing smells! They talk about adding F-words to Star Wars, the lying and scheming of Big Essential Oil, yard showering, bee sex and the health benefits of used milk. Pay the price of admission to see The Great Pyramid Scheme of Giza, it’s time to make that enchanted crystal money (baby)!

What’s the craziest thing your middle school principal ever dared you to do? Did he dare you to put a bee up your butt? US TOO! Samesies! The Explosm boys cover this buzzing topic and others such as: Snake church, the dangers of literacy, Mormon secrets and whether man evolved from the feet up or the head down. Do a spell on your own shoes and fill a tub with pee. It’s magic time!

There’s no way around it. No matter how many Bradley Cooper brand Smart Drugs™ he does, Dave has bean-brains. Soldiering on, The Boys talk about sneaking around your own house like a creep in the night, how everything they teach you in school is bullshit and treasured TV personalities. Grab your pickaxe and your walkman, cuz we’re doin’ a flashback to the 80s, when men were prospectors and the age of consent was 10.

What happens if a doctor gets sick? NO ONE KNOWS! But The Boys are getting to the bottom of it. They’re also discussing horrible American accents (like Boston), the trials and tribulations of Elon Musk, AND they play everyone’s favorite game: What Do You Know About Sonic The Hedgehog? Grab your magic scarves and strand yourself on a desert island. It’s time to convince hungry strangers not to eat you!

The boys discuss how hard you’d have to work out to S your own D, while dealing with the fact that Joel has replaced himself with a soundboard that only speaks 9 phrases. Play chest-checkers and king your nipples, it’s Catholic Lizard Illuminati and talking frogs all the way down!

The Boys spend some time figuring out what other pedophile-based inventions Elon Musk has crafted in his sinister workshop, how a baby might be customized in the womb via CRISPR and the economics of the Mushroom Kingdom. This episode is basically a college level education FOR FREE!

Take a trip back to when the boys were merely lads, and Mr. and Ms. Explosm weren’t even a glint in the boys’ eyes. Listen to the original, never-aired pilot episode for a podcast that might have been called Lap Reactions! Cuck Chat With The Beta Boys! Talkie Time With Dem Boys, Those American Boys: Talkin’ It Up, Farms, Firearms and Lucky Charms, Sausage Talk with The Explosm Talkie Boys, The Cuckabunch with The Explosm Boys! The Nipple Boys Podcast, The Nibblecast, The Nepal-cast, The Nibblercast, or The Catfish Nip Boys. Joel is one saying racist stuff this time, which is weird (because Joel’s not Rob).

The boys rejoice as Rob returns from the (supposed) dead and tells the tale of his dark days as a pigeon whose dad is a bus. Dave lauds the heroic farting security guard, Joel follows up with our Canadian Podophiles re: The Dick Trolley Problem, and Kris pops out of his pants (and shirt, and shorts) while trying to seduce Ms. Explosm. Don’t let anyone piss on your shoe umbrellas! It’s time to learn how, where and why babies are made!

The boys are down one boy, but that isn’t stopping them from getting down in the jizzy dirt and answering the hard questions: Is Rob dead? Is Courtney Love a sea witch? Have Dave’s parents done it more than once? What would the middle set of genitals look like? Glue on your Keith Urban soul patch, rack up that Johnny Debt (baby) and toss yourself on the baby blood pile!

Finally free of Mr. Explosm, the boys expect to have a half day/pizza day day talking about penises, and sex machines and trains. Instead, they talk about those things AND have to deal with a totally unexpected new foe?! Round up your bad boy gang, do some crimes and say some swears! It’s time for family togetherness!

Which Explosm Boy is the most racist? It’s Rob. Who is Henrietta Cumbangs? She’s a He-Man traffic cone. What’s the correct answer to the Five Guys Trolley Problem? WHO CARES?! Dave is back and he brings revelatory news about Mr. Explosm that will change the boys’ lives FOREVER!

Where were you when the world realized Calvin & Hobbes was racist? Where were you when The Pinko Commie Horse Of Hate turned heal? Where were The Boys™ when Mr. Explosm failed to make an appearance and struck an uneasy terror in the hearts of all? Locked in their windowless writing room like always! When the cat’s away, the mice are too paranoid to play!