Please Don't Listen

If this podcast goes over anyone's head, we're just going to assume your souls are weighed down by gravity. Heavy soul and oxygen deprivation. Send us your empathetic space premonitions: pleasedontcast@gmail.com twitter.com/pleasedontcast patreon.com/pleasedontcast

DELIVERY ORDER: TIME LIMIT: 120 minutes CONDITION: Less than 100% damage- Do not submerge CARGO: A Podcast about the video game Death Stranding, in which the hosts also attempt to shoehorn a hollywood star, musical act and branded product into their own games. Contact our dang handcuff phones: pleasedontcast@gmail.com twitter.com/pleasedontcast patreon.com/pleasedontcast

Who would have thought the galaxy's greatest killing machine comes from a time when the wheel was considered "just a fad"? See if you can slip two topics into one episode: pleasedontcast@gmail.com twitter.com/pleasedontcast patreon.com/pleasedontcast

In OUR simulation, big head mode is ALWAYS on. Send us Matrix Cheats, codes, and codes names: pleasedontcast@gmail.com patreon.com/pleasedontcast twitter.com/pleasedontcast

Okay, surely you must've heard about video games by now, right?

Oh wait, the got BIG BIRD in this one?! He must've been so expensive... Send us your Christmas Cards! pleasedontcast@gmail.com patreon.com/pleasedontcast twitter.com/pleasedontcast

Leave a Pork Pie and some sherry out for your favorite podcast, because this year they're not the only skeletons coming down the chimney... Send us swords, so we can learn important lessons: pleasedontcast@gmail.com patreon.com/pleasedontcast twitter.com/pleasedontcast

Rhythm and Beat will infest your pathetic body for all eternity. Will you groove? Or will you reject the dance floor and forfeit your soul? Send your cheap plastic peripherals to: pleasedontcast@gmail.com patreon.com/pleasedontcast twitter.com/pleasedontcast

In this episode, WE accuse our parents... of getting us interested in a bunch of vhs tapes and audio cassettes! Also, 3 entire episode of MST3K! Send us your ideas for movie-length McDonalds commercials: twitter.com/pleasedontcast pleasedontcast@gmail.com patreon.com/pleasedontcast

Creepy lake, self-inflicted head wounds, and coffee made from projector goop... time for a nice, relaxing, puzzle solving afternoon. Send Files based on all of our personal traumas here: pleasedontcast@gmail.com patreon.com/pleasedontcast twitter.com/pleasedontcast

This is the kind of crew that will see a body hanging from a tree, ignore it for five days and then go up to one of the locals and say: "We could help: by brutally dismantling the free market." Send us your rare cryptids: pleasedontcast@gmail.com patreon.com/pleasedontcast twitter.com/pleasedontcast

Across: 1. Very Unfocused Podcast Down: 2.Place to send e-mails, episode topics, and ways to describe Oreos pleasedontcast@gmail.com twitter.com/pleasedontcast patreon.com/pleasedontcast

A guest joins the show to help them take the title of "Hazardous Materials" very, VERY literally. Send us your regional poisons: pleasedontcast@gmail.com patreon.com/pleasedontcast twitter.com/plasedontcast

Welcome to the Gungeon. ANY weapon you could imagine is here... but your immediate choices are the balloon, the mailbox, or the noodle. Later, you'll WISH you were this lucky again. Send us your spent shells: pleasedontcast@gmail.com patreon.com/pleasedontcast twitter.com/pleasedontcast

This podcast goes out to everyone who just KNOWS the coffee machine is giving them a funny look. Stay safe out there. Send us your most evil windshield wipers: pleasedontcast@gmail.com patreon.com/pleasedontcast twitter.com/pleasedontcast

People who complain about spoilers might have a point. I mean this show spoils who the grisly murderer is in minute 1 of episode 1! Where is your common decency, Higurashi?! Don't you now that there are some people who aren't paying attention all of the time? Send Cotton-drifting festival fun activities to: pleasedontcast@gmail.com twitter.com/pleasedontcast patreon.com/pleasedontcast

What's Halloween without some bones to burn? Send us eerily accurate descriptions of our lives and thoughts: pleasedontcast@gmail.com twitter.com/pleasedontcast patreon.com/pleasedontcast

Want to come over to my place later for coffee and a little ritual, or am I reading the signals wrong? Send your incredibly suggestive key items to: pleasedontcast@gmail.com twitter.com/pleasedontcast patreon.com/pleasedontcast

The report describes the victims being hypnotised into killing by reptetitive, droning sounds- like two guys attempting to describe the feeling of someone's face off to you, or how many bats a movie is worth. Send a plate of uncooked fish to: pleasedontcast@gmail.com twitter.com/pleasedontcast patreon.com/pleasedontcast

PERHAPS THE SAME COULD BE SAID OF ALL RELIGIONS Have at us: pleasedontcast@gmail.com patreon.com/pleasedontcast twitter.com/pleasedontcast