Crappy Friends

You've been friends for more than two decades. Promises have been made. And then comes the wedding…ouch. The Ladies discuss what constitutes a promise, what friends owe each other in hard times and the honest truth about weddings.

We all have been a turning points in our lives when making new friends is necessary…a move, a new job, new interests. Sometimes, it just magically comes together over time. Other times, it's harder. Female friendship is such an intrinsic part of life, and without it, you can feel quite lonely and, well, a little broken without your besties or your pack. The Ladies read one such letter and offer advice…especially, like all good things, true friendship takes time. Plus, a follow-up letter on how stepping back can make for a better relationship.

We all know narcissists and have wasted far too much time figuring out they really don't care about anyone but themselves. However, it can be hard to see the warning signs before you've wasted time and energy on this particular kind of vampire. The Ladies also read a follow-up letter from a woman whose narcissist person was her sister, and how she finally and definitively cut ties. You go, sister!

In this episode, a letter writer gives us an example of friends (and strangers) acting differently post-pandemic: insults, exclusion and in one case, unlawful harassment. Kristan and Joss also discuss their worsening wardrobe criteria for the outside world.

TW: This episode deals with anorexia. National Eating Disorder Hotline: 1-800-931-2237 You adore your roommate for so many reasons…but she's got anorexia, and you're terrified it's getting worse. The Ladies bring in real-life psychologist Dr. Khaleesi to address this complicated, difficult issue; self-care when a loved one suffers from an eating disorder; and some strategies to discuss in a kind and compassionate way.

It's sadly come to this. One friend is too needy, and the other friend is at the brink. But the friendship is/was so great, the person is just fabulous…but the endless neediness is breaking her. The first in a female/male friendship for the Ladies!

You've been friends--BEST friends--for years, but now it seems like you're getting to be the third wheel, because Bestie has found someone new. And she's not always super nice, either. Can this friendship still work? Can it be fixed, or should it be left behind, and how will you know which to try? The Ladies discuss, and Kristan shares the mystery of the missing white strip.

When you grow up with narcissistic parents, it's hard to get out of the habit of catering to everyone's needs but your own. And then, when your own child, now grown, seems to be taking your help and love for granted, it's hard to know how to deal with that, too. The Ladies discuss the difficulties of being honest with a grown child, sticking up for yourself, and, in an epic #EmbarrassingPersonalProblem, the dangers of self-tanning spray.

What is it about friend groups that can be so complicated? Why are we so territorial sometimes? What happens when we like some in the group but not others? Barby Ingle shares her wisdom with the Ladies, as well as her personal experience with chronic pain and how it affects friendships.

Does she like you? Does she like you not? Once, you were soul sisters, but now the message is mixed. She takes forever to return texts, then invites you out for an awkward dinner. Is she jealous of your new passion in life? Are you jealous of hers? The Ladies discuss, plus a follow-up letter from someone with a crappy sister!

It's been a wonderful friendship. The problem is, she's struggling these days, financially and otherwise, and you're doing GREAT. You want to help her, give her money, shore up her self esteem, but you don't want to overstep. The Ladies discuss how to be helpful without alienating her. Also, adventures in underwear sightings for our Embarrassing Personal Problems. 

You've done the hard work of cleaning up your act and understand your crappy childhood, and you're doing great…except when those two friends are around. You've changed, they haven't, and maybe this long friendship can be tweaked, or maybe it should head for the graveyard.

Do you always seem to attract the wrong kind of friend? What is it about you that keeps you investing in friendships that don't make you happy? Danielle Ingenito talks about energy and how you can adjust yours to attract the right kind of person. This also explains Joss's eternal question: Why does everyone want to be my friend? It's her mojo, baby! It all makes so much sense after hearing Danielle speak!

This friend and you have history…a really good history! But something's changed or shifted, and you want to get back on track and feel close again. Is it possible? YES, say the Ladies! We outline and discuss the steps to fix the fixable and become, perhaps, closer than ever.

Whoo, that question! We've all wondered if WE are the problem and how responsible we might be for hurt feelings. This letter writer asks the eternal question: "Was it me?" The Ladies discuss, and Kristan once again overshares her embarrassing personal medical issues.

Why do we put up with a crappy friend for SO LONG? Why do we keep giving them chances? An epic tale of red flags and insults, followed by a tale of the Mean Coworker and how to handle her. Plus, Joss is due for another pedicure. Soon, salons will have her photo at the front desk…

Two's company, three is maybe a stalker. Are you terrified one friend will freak out if you go out without her? Is your friend having to sneak away to see you? What the hell is that about, anyway? The Ladies discuss this and another letter in which being left out, or wanting to leave someone else out, is at the forefront.

Okay, so that funny mean friend finally turned on you…and you learned it from a pretty nice friend. But she's still hanging out with the mean girl, so can you trust her? The Ladies discuss, plus another Adventure in Waxing from Kristan, who is too cheap to go to a place and let the professionals do their thing.

You're just not that into her, and she has no radar for this kind of thing. She's perfectly nice if a little intrusive (or a lot intrusive), and you don't want to hurt her feelings, but COME ON, LADY! GET THE HINT! The Ladies discuss this and receive a most touching letter about great friendship in a time of need.