Zen Habits Favorites

Now, I’m not going to pretend I don’t ever judge other people. But one of the best changes I’ve made to help me be happier is learning to see judging other people as a red flag.

A friend recently asked me how I balance my personal lives and all my projects, and it made me pause and think. And that pause, and the thinking, is really the key to it all, I discovered.

When you’re feeling resentful or angry about something, it’s worth stopping to consider why.

How much of your stress, frustration, disappointment, anger, comes from one little thing? Almost all of it comes from your expectations. We build these expectations in our heads of what other people should do, what our lives should be like, how other drivers should behave … and yet it’s all fantasy. It’s not real.

Most of us are pretty busy, just about every day. Some like it that way — being busy is almost a status symbol, as it shows you’re important and productive and a go-getter and achiever. I say we should reject that little game of who’s busier than whom.

Many people are super busy, and distracted, because busy-ness and distraction feels productive, and isn’t boring. Smokers don’t want to quit smoking, because it helps them deal with stress. What do all these people have in common? They rely on crutches.

When I first started simplifying my life, about 8 years ago, I remember my life being much busier. I would say yes to everything, and go to lots of social stuff, and drive everywhere doing a crazy amount of things, rushing wherever I went. By crazy I mean it can drive you a bit insane.

Think about the major problems in your life — from anxiety to lack of regular exercise to a bad diet to procrastination and more. Pretty much every one of these problems is caused by a fear of discomfort.

When we were kids, most of us had someone to tell us what to do. Then came adulthood, where things became not-so-clear.

Our days fill up so fast, and are so rushed and filled with distractions, that they seem to be bursting. It’s a huge source of stress for most people, and stress is perhaps the most important factor determining whether we’re healthy or sick. So how can we simplify our days? It’s not incredibly hard, but I’ve found it’s best done in steps.

Instead of working with a fixed outcome (goal), work from moment to moment, using principles that work for you. Each moment, don’t ask “am I doing something to move me to my goal?” but instead ask, “Am I doing something right now that’s based on one of my values or principles?”

Let’s say we’re working and someone interrupts us: bam, so pissed off! Life is suddenly a boiling rage. OK, maybe we’re just annoyed. Why are we so annoyed/Hulk-enraged? Simply because we wanted to continue to work uninterrupted, but some buttwad has ruined that perfect fantasy.

What’s the fastest way to get a task off your to-do list? Just delete it … or don’t put it there in the first place.

Why is it that we cannot break the bad habits that stand in our way, crushing our desires to live a healthy life, be fit, simplify, be happier? How is it that our best intentions are nearly always beaten?

If your life is full of stress, like mine once was, there are some simle things you can do to get your life to a more manageable level. Your life will probably never be stress-free — but when stress gets too high, it causes us to be unhappy and unhealthy.

It’s not that changing bad habits is impossible. But if we are so discouraged we don’t try, we will never change them. To try and to fail is of little consequence, but to never start at all is fatal to the habit change.

One of the keys to happiness — as well as productivity and effectiveness at work — is finding work you love, that you’re passionate about. Work you want to do, instead of just have to do.

Too often the trend in our society is for people to be separated from either other, to be cut off from the great mass of humanity. Strike back against the selfishness and greed of our modern world, and help out a fellow human being today. Not next month, but today.

One problem with our complicated lives these days is that many of us never find time to spend alone, in peace, without being bombarded with noise and information. Find time each day to be alone, for your mental health, by stealing pockets of time from other areas of your life.

There are days in everyone’s life when they feel overwhelmed by the stresses and tasks and projects and phone calls and emails that weigh upon them. Yes, even the minimalists like me get overwhelmed from time to time.