Superhero Assembly Line

After ending the life of a beloved male pornstar, our hero goes on a revenge quest to destroy the world's scummiest hackers. She only has one question: "What's the Wi-Fi password here?" Talking Points: Escape rooms, real fake doors, blackmail, O.J., trash compactors.

You know what they say, rub some dirt on it! Or in this case, some... sewage? This week's hero takes to the underground to avoid taxes and protect his realm. Talking points: ​Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 2, It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia, sewage monsters, 4K TVs, tax evasion, G-Force, Injustice: Gods Among Us

You're sure to get a kick out of this hero, just don't call him a weenie. Behold as Killbossa ascends the ranks of a galactic arena with only one rule: don't get eaten! Talking Points: condiments, The Payoff 2.0, pickles, Chinese finger traps, smizing, Bane

The Earth's most-beloved hero is in for the shock of his life when he finds out who's really behind all those puppy mills he swore to destroy. Or, you know, maybe it was when he accidentally got euthanized. Talking Points: jenkem, I Am Legend, wolf attacks, "Deep Throat," grocery store discounts, veterinarians

Weed culture can be complicated -- we guess. This hero has what it takes to hang with the best, protect his blood and win in court. Oh, and a special fourth host makes a brief appearance. Talking points: Fate of the Furious, The Office, Jake's coughing, The Chainsmokers, Blue Angels

Ever feel like you're allergic to people? This hero feels like that all the time! Pop a Benadryl as Grasstronaut enlists the help of a tiny, if not a little lewd, seedling to destroy the irritable patriarchy from which she came. Talking points: Eric Andre, Andre 3000, milk jugs, allergies, post-apocalyptic societies, peanut, Thor

A college loser finally finds her one true love: a dope mirror. For some reason, it's in a combination art/history museum. Oh, and there are gold-vision powers in this one. Definitely gold-vision. Talking points: Spider bodies, fedoras, planetary annihilation, regular names.

A sorcerer specializing in accidental black magic gets his chance to shine on Extreme Home Makeover: Russia. Meanwhile, someone tosses Satan a bone. Talking points: Alanis Morissette, cocker spaniels, Wal-Mart proprietary media, The Legend of Zelda, Putin's middle name

Two SAL juggernauts join forces to unintentionally create a beastly abomination. It's amazing what one can do in a cave -- with a bunch of scraps. Talking points: guano, stem cells, fourth-wall breaking, Doctor Octopus, bats, the Ped Egg.

There are absolutely no problems with this episode. If there were to be, for example, a tremendous audio quality drop while listening to this particular SAL episode, it is definitely a computer issue on your end and totally not a fault of our own. Enjoy! Talking Points: Coleslaw, Filthy EDM drops, Zorbing, The movie "Holes", and Catwoman's devastatingly bad basketball scene.

Our hottest hero yet goes deep to uncover hidden truths of the Earth, enlisting the help of a brand new service from Uber. Talking points: Battleship drifting, flat earth theory, B.o.B., E-40, Firetrucks, Pizza Hut, Sphincters.

When a terrible escalator incident leaves him without hope, the P.E.G.A.S.U.S. Program reminds this hero that when life gets tough, no matter what, do not ever join a pyramid scheme. Talking points: Ryan's intelligence, Equilibrium starring Christian Bale, Carter Blood Care, Rob Schneider, Kevin James, Shooting Stars.

Long ago, it was believed that having a picture taken would steal your soul. This episode has nothing to do with that, but there is Smaug. Plenty of Smaug.

This fun-sized hero aims for the brain, but is going for the heart. Swaddled in cargo pants, the fate of Hollywood's greatest romance lies in the hands of Heartthrob!

Join us on our journey to discover the truth about the tooth fairy, and create the best vape rig the world has ever seen.

A small town girl livin' in a lonely world takes on Poland's most popular singing show and we present to you our first official sponsor. This message has been brought to you by [REDACTED].

The safety is off and this hero is going guns blazing into the heart of the Nile to vanquish some legendary foes. Good thing the gun industry is booming in Giza.

Forget everything you know about jet fuel as this weeks hero has the scientific prowess to change the propulsion game forever. Oh, and maybe consider your working environment before participating in 'Bring Your Child to Work Day.'

An Ender's Game-style betrayal teaches us to always question our surroundings and we find a much better use for that shitty drone you got for Christmas.

Yes, you read the title correctly. And yes, he does. Happy New Year!