Selfwork With Dr. Margaret Rutherford | Self-help | Mental Health | Depression | Anxiety | Relationship Problems| Therapy

Today we’re talking about parents who can’t let go of their children, and adult children who are struggling to have their own lives, independent of a parent. This dynamic doesn’t exist because kids are having addiction or learning problems. This more complex relationship is created due to the emotional needs of the parent.  We’ll touch […] The post 062 SelfWork: How To Know If You’re Too Close To Your Child (Or Your Parent) appeared first on Dr. Margaret Rutherford. Our Sponsors:* Check out Happy Mammoth and use my code SELFWORK for a great deal: https://happymammoth.comAdvertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brands

There’s lots of information out there about how to stop beating yourself up or how to increase your self-esteem. But how do-able is it? I’m always interested in practical ways people can approach problems, or “What You Can Do About It.” So I’m offering three practical exercises for you to try — things that I’ve […] The post 061 SelfWork: Three Very Practical Exercises To Boost Your Self-Esteem appeared first on Dr. Margaret Rutherford. Our Sponsors:* Check out Happy Mammoth and use my code SELFWORK for a great deal: https://happymammoth.comAdvertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brands

As promised, today’s episode is about peeling off the mask of Perfectly Hidden Depression (PHD). Thousands of you have listened to the episodes on PHD, and I’d love to hear from you personally. Email me confidentially so I can learn more from you!  This episode covers basic steps of change, with specific examples and directions […] The post 060 SelfWork: Unmasking The Pain Of Perfectly Hidden Depression appeared first on Dr. Margaret Rutherford. Our Sponsors:* Check out Happy Mammoth and use my code SELFWORK for a great deal: https://happymammoth.comAdvertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brands

How much do you hide about yourself because you fear the judgment of others, and perhaps rejection based on that judgment? We probably all do from time to time. I’ll share some of my own story, and one of the surprising gifts of being a therapist. We’ll also define two beliefs that are required for […] The post 059 SelfWork: How To Cope With The Fear Of Judgment appeared first on Dr. Margaret Rutherford. Our Sponsors:* Check out Happy Mammoth and use my code SELFWORK for a great deal: https://happymammoth.comAdvertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brands

“Codependent” is a word that’s thrown around a lot these days to describe relationships. But what exactly defines a codependent relationship, and how do you know if you’re part of one? Using examples from real couples, I’ll answer that question, as well as offering you some questions to ask yourself if you’re the “enabled” or […] The post 058 SelfWork: What Is Codependency And What Can You Do About It? appeared first on Dr. Margaret Rutherford. Our Sponsors:* Check out Happy Mammoth and use my code SELFWORK for a great deal: https://happymammoth.comAdvertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brands

Perfectly Hidden Depression (PHD)  is a topic I’ve been researching and writing about for over three years, and many people have written me about their own experience with the syndrome. In this episode, you’ll here directly from them about their struggles with perfectionism — putting up a constant front of success, while simultaneously never satisfying […] The post 057 SelfWork: The Real Voices Of Perfectly Hidden Depression appeared first on Dr. Margaret Rutherford. Our Sponsors:* Check out Happy Mammoth and use my code SELFWORK for a great deal: https://happymammoth.comAdvertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brands

How long has it been since you touched your partner? Not in a sexual way, but a simple touch… It’s amazing to me how many people in long-term relationships have fallen into the rut of not touching one another. It can be awkward to begin again, but is a simple, free way to improve your […] The post 056 SelfWork: The Vital Importance Of Touch appeared first on Dr. Margaret Rutherford. Our Sponsors:* Check out Happy Mammoth and use my code SELFWORK for a great deal: https://happymammoth.comAdvertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brands

In this special edition of SelfWork, Dr. Margaret launches a new website and podcast design in celebration of her fifth anniversary of taking a risk and beginning to blog. It’s somewhat bittersweet, as she also honors the deaths of her parents on the same day. Join her as she thanks readers and listeners for all […] The post 055 SelfWork: An Anniversary Of Grief And Gratitude. appeared first on Dr. Margaret Rutherford. Our Sponsors:* Check out Happy Mammoth and use my code SELFWORK for a great deal: https://happymammoth.comAdvertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brands

“Always be humble and kind” was a huge country hit last year, and Dr. Margaret talks in this episode about making mistakes and learning from them. How do you actually do that? She offers five pragmatic ideas of accepting mistakes, and specific questions to ask so that you may be less likely to make them […] The post 054 SelfWork: How To Learn From A Mistake appeared first on Dr. Margaret Rutherford. Our Sponsors:* Check out Happy Mammoth and use my code SELFWORK for a great deal: https://happymammoth.comAdvertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brands

Parenting is hard, overwhelming in fact at times. And there are some common fights that couples have. “Who’s working harder in this relationship?” can be a very destructive one. “You don’t know what it’s like to be home with the kids.” Or “You come home from work, and all you do is stay on your […] The post 053 SelfWork: 7 Ways To Feel Partnered In Parenting appeared first on Dr. Margaret Rutherford. Our Sponsors:* Check out Happy Mammoth and use my code SELFWORK for a great deal: https://happymammoth.comAdvertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brands

If your life has been tragically touched by suicide, coping with that loss is like no other grief. In this episode of SelfWork, I’ll talk about that specific grief, and the research that looks at the reasons people take their own lives. Post Traumatic Stress Disorder is often found in those who’ve experienced their loved […] The post 052 SelfWork: Coping with Suicide appeared first on Dr. Margaret Rutherford. Our Sponsors:* Check out Happy Mammoth and use my code SELFWORK for a great deal: https://happymammoth.comAdvertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brands

For many women, being thin is worshipped like no other physical attribute. Not your hair, not your muscles, not your voice. The greatest compliment a woman can hear (at least according to some)? “You look like you’ve lost weight…”. For girls or women with anorexia, staying thin becomes an addictive compulsion. Every waking minute they’re thinking […] The post 051 SelfWork: The Silent Agony of Staying Thin appeared first on Dr. Margaret Rutherford. Our Sponsors:* Check out Happy Mammoth and use my code SELFWORK for a great deal: https://happymammoth.comAdvertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brands

Could you be functioning well -in fact “perfectly” in many ways — and underneath it all, be hiding pain, loneliness or even suicidal thoughts? Dr. Margaret’s term for this is Perfectly Hidden Depression (PHD), a syndrome of behaviors that can lead to a way-too-manicured persona out there for the public to see, while below the […] The post 050 SelfWork: Is Perfectly Hidden Depression Real? appeared first on Dr. Margaret Rutherford. Our Sponsors:* Check out Happy Mammoth and use my code SELFWORK for a great deal: https://happymammoth.comAdvertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brands

You can hear the pressures beginning to mount in people’s voices, as we all approach the holiday season. Dr. Margaret offers her own personal story of her parents’ deaths the week before Christmas of 2007, and how giving herself options was key in balancing the meaning of rituals with her grief. Rituals can be incredibly […] The post 049 SelfWork: Honoring Your Rituals And You During The Holidays appeared first on Dr. Margaret Rutherford. Our Sponsors:* Check out Happy Mammoth and use my code SELFWORK for a great deal: https://happymammoth.comAdvertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brands

Apologizing, saying “I’m sorry,” is quite difficult for many people. Yet a sincere heartfelt apology can make a world of difference in a relationship. Dr. Margaret adds to a list of good and not so good apologies that appeared in The Wall Street Journal (written by Elizabeth Bernstein), including the contingency apology, the passing the […] The post 048 SelfWork: The Apology. The Good, The Bad And The Ugly appeared first on Dr. Margaret Rutherford. Our Sponsors:* Check out Happy Mammoth and use my code SELFWORK for a great deal: https://happymammoth.comAdvertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brands

Narcissism has been a hot topic for the past few years, with many people writing about their fate — being attracted to and trying to love someone with narcissistic traits. Dr. Margaret talks clearly about what narcissism is and what it’s not, as well as offering five recognitions about your own role in the furor […] The post 047 SelfWork: If You Love (Or Have Loved) A Narcissist appeared first on Dr. Margaret Rutherford. Our Sponsors:* Check out Happy Mammoth and use my code SELFWORK for a great deal: https://happymammoth.comAdvertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brands

If you haven’t heard about Harvey Weinstein, you may have been living under a rock the last couple of weeks. He’s been accused of sexual harassment and assault by multiple women. Dr. Margaret relays an incident in her own history with sexual harassment, and how it made her feel. She also focuses on human’s normal […] The post 046 SelfWork: How A Woman Feels Around A Harvey Weinstein appeared first on Dr. Margaret Rutherford. Our Sponsors:* Check out Happy Mammoth and use my code SELFWORK for a great deal: https://happymammoth.comAdvertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brands

Dr. Margaret received a fascinating question from a listener recently. “How do I learn to feel my feelings, when I’ve been suppressing them for years?” The key is self-compassion, and it’s vital in healing from depression, anxiety or what I term perfectly hidden depression. Dr. Margaret focuses on self-compassion, giving examples from her own patients […] The post 045 SelfWork: Self-Compassion. What It Is And Why It’s Vital appeared first on Dr. Margaret Rutherford. Our Sponsors:* Check out Happy Mammoth and use my code SELFWORK for a great deal: https://happymammoth.comAdvertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brands

If you have already experiencing depression, anxiety or even Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD), you may be being triggered by the horrific massacre in Las Vegas. In this special edition of SelfWork, Dr. Margaret offers some important ideas on how to process your thoughts and emotions if your symptoms have re-emerged or are worsening. Please […] The post 044 SelfWork: Is Your PTSD, Depression Or Anxiety Being Triggered By The Last Vegas Tragedy? appeared first on Dr. Margaret Rutherford. Our Sponsors:* Check out Happy Mammoth and use my code SELFWORK for a great deal: https://happymammoth.comAdvertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brands

Friends. They’re often your “family of choice.” They can be wonderfully satisfying, intellectually challenging, and just plain fun. But what happens when one friend backs out of the friendship?  How do you understand it, grieve the loss and move on? Dr. Margaret speaks again of her own experience with being “ghosted” by a friend, and […] The post 043 SelfWork: When Friendships End appeared first on Dr. Margaret Rutherford. Our Sponsors:* Check out Happy Mammoth and use my code SELFWORK for a great deal: https://happymammoth.comAdvertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brands