Selfwork With Dr. Margaret Rutherford | Self-help | Mental Health | Depression | Anxiety | Relationship Problems| Therapy

We’re going to be talking about healthy and not so healthy relationships today. Many relationships get their start with one person “saving” another. These are boundary-less relationship and they’re doomed for trouble. The victim gets tired of being the victim. The savior gets tired of not being appreciated for saving.  Mark Manson, a blogger with […] The post 069 SelfWork: The Victim-Savior Relationship. How You Get In It and How You Get Out Of It appeared first on Dr. Margaret Rutherford. Our Sponsors:* Check out Happy Mammoth and use my code SELFWORK for a great deal: https://happymammoth.comAdvertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brands

What is a family of choice? It’s a family you create with friends. Some of us don’t have families that we can count on in times of stress or need, or joy for that matter. Instead of staying bitter or lonely, I’ve come up with five “caveats” in finding people who would earn the right […] The post 068 SelfWork: How To Create A Family Of Choice appeared first on Dr. Margaret Rutherford. Our Sponsors:* Check out Happy Mammoth and use my code SELFWORK for a great deal: https://happymammoth.comAdvertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brands

Social anxiety affects millions of Americans. Today I’m going to talk about how it may be affecting commitment, as well as how it’s affected by social media. When you get a FaceBook invitation or a “save the date” notice, do you automatically say, “It’s too much to think about,” or,  “I don’t know who else is going,” or even, “I […] The post 067 SelfWork: Understanding Social Anxiety And The Fear Of Commitment appeared first on Dr. Margaret Rutherford. Our Sponsors:* Check out Happy Mammoth and use my code SELFWORK for a great deal: https://happymammoth.comAdvertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brands

We all hear about unconditional love, especially when talking about how parents feel about their children. However, unconditional love can be worn out — used up. Even though today’s podcast focuses on healthy, “good enough” parents and self-destructive and manipulative children, you can apply this to any relationship, so listen in!  (This dynamic can obviously […] The post 066 SelfWork: Can Unconditional Love Be Used Up? appeared first on Dr. Margaret Rutherford. Our Sponsors:* Check out Happy Mammoth and use my code SELFWORK for a great deal: https://happymammoth.comAdvertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brands

I created a lot of chaos in my life by being attracted to “bad boys,” men who were not interested in my own growth as a person, and who acted as if women couldn’t be trusted and that love wasn’t possible. I, like many women before me, decided to try to change a mind or […] The post 065 SelfWork: What I Learned About Bad Boys And Creating A Life I Liked appeared first on Dr. Margaret Rutherford. Our Sponsors:* Check out Happy Mammoth and use my code SELFWORK for a great deal: https://happymammoth.comAdvertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brands

Procrastination can be a huge problem, with shame over things not accomplished or put off being a problem between parents and children, husband and wives, or supervisors and employees. But there’s more than one reason why it’s happening, and understanding that reason can guide the way toward what you can do about it. Today we’ll […] The post 064 SelfWork: What Could Be Causing Your Procrastination? appeared first on Dr. Margaret Rutherford. Our Sponsors:* Check out Happy Mammoth and use my code SELFWORK for a great deal: https://happymammoth.comAdvertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brands

  Couples counseling can make individual counseling look like a breeze. In today’s podcast, sponsored by Audible.com, I’ll go through the four misconceptions or “hurdles” that people believe or face when they consider couples work. The benefits can be immense. You can learn how to really listen, how to change entrenched painful patterns, and how […] The post 063 SelfWork: Going To Couples Counseling. What’s Getting In Your Way? appeared first on Dr. Margaret Rutherford. Our Sponsors:* Check out Happy Mammoth and use my code SELFWORK for a great deal: https://happymammoth.comAdvertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brands

Today we’re talking about parents who can’t let go of their children, and adult children who are struggling to have their own lives, independent of a parent. This dynamic doesn’t exist because kids are having addiction or learning problems. This more complex relationship is created due to the emotional needs of the parent.  We’ll touch […] The post 062 SelfWork: How To Know If You’re Too Close To Your Child (Or Your Parent) appeared first on Dr. Margaret Rutherford. Our Sponsors:* Check out Happy Mammoth and use my code SELFWORK for a great deal: https://happymammoth.comAdvertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brands

There’s lots of information out there about how to stop beating yourself up or how to increase your self-esteem. But how do-able is it? I’m always interested in practical ways people can approach problems, or “What You Can Do About It.” So I’m offering three practical exercises for you to try — things that I’ve […] The post 061 SelfWork: Three Very Practical Exercises To Boost Your Self-Esteem appeared first on Dr. Margaret Rutherford. Our Sponsors:* Check out Happy Mammoth and use my code SELFWORK for a great deal: https://happymammoth.comAdvertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brands

As promised, today’s episode is about peeling off the mask of Perfectly Hidden Depression (PHD). Thousands of you have listened to the episodes on PHD, and I’d love to hear from you personally. Email me confidentially so I can learn more from you!  This episode covers basic steps of change, with specific examples and directions […] The post 060 SelfWork: Unmasking The Pain Of Perfectly Hidden Depression appeared first on Dr. Margaret Rutherford. Our Sponsors:* Check out Happy Mammoth and use my code SELFWORK for a great deal: https://happymammoth.comAdvertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brands

How much do you hide about yourself because you fear the judgment of others, and perhaps rejection based on that judgment? We probably all do from time to time. I’ll share some of my own story, and one of the surprising gifts of being a therapist. We’ll also define two beliefs that are required for […] The post 059 SelfWork: How To Cope With The Fear Of Judgment appeared first on Dr. Margaret Rutherford. Our Sponsors:* Check out Happy Mammoth and use my code SELFWORK for a great deal: https://happymammoth.comAdvertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brands

“Codependent” is a word that’s thrown around a lot these days to describe relationships. But what exactly defines a codependent relationship, and how do you know if you’re part of one? Using examples from real couples, I’ll answer that question, as well as offering you some questions to ask yourself if you’re the “enabled” or […] The post 058 SelfWork: What Is Codependency And What Can You Do About It? appeared first on Dr. Margaret Rutherford. Our Sponsors:* Check out Happy Mammoth and use my code SELFWORK for a great deal: https://happymammoth.comAdvertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brands

Perfectly Hidden Depression (PHD)  is a topic I’ve been researching and writing about for over three years, and many people have written me about their own experience with the syndrome. In this episode, you’ll here directly from them about their struggles with perfectionism — putting up a constant front of success, while simultaneously never satisfying […] The post 057 SelfWork: The Real Voices Of Perfectly Hidden Depression appeared first on Dr. Margaret Rutherford. Our Sponsors:* Check out Happy Mammoth and use my code SELFWORK for a great deal: https://happymammoth.comAdvertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brands

How long has it been since you touched your partner? Not in a sexual way, but a simple touch… It’s amazing to me how many people in long-term relationships have fallen into the rut of not touching one another. It can be awkward to begin again, but is a simple, free way to improve your […] The post 056 SelfWork: The Vital Importance Of Touch appeared first on Dr. Margaret Rutherford. Our Sponsors:* Check out Happy Mammoth and use my code SELFWORK for a great deal: https://happymammoth.comAdvertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brands

In this special edition of SelfWork, Dr. Margaret launches a new website and podcast design in celebration of her fifth anniversary of taking a risk and beginning to blog. It’s somewhat bittersweet, as she also honors the deaths of her parents on the same day. Join her as she thanks readers and listeners for all […] The post 055 SelfWork: An Anniversary Of Grief And Gratitude. appeared first on Dr. Margaret Rutherford. Our Sponsors:* Check out Happy Mammoth and use my code SELFWORK for a great deal: https://happymammoth.comAdvertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brands

“Always be humble and kind” was a huge country hit last year, and Dr. Margaret talks in this episode about making mistakes and learning from them. How do you actually do that? She offers five pragmatic ideas of accepting mistakes, and specific questions to ask so that you may be less likely to make them […] The post 054 SelfWork: How To Learn From A Mistake appeared first on Dr. Margaret Rutherford. Our Sponsors:* Check out Happy Mammoth and use my code SELFWORK for a great deal: https://happymammoth.comAdvertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brands

Parenting is hard, overwhelming in fact at times. And there are some common fights that couples have. “Who’s working harder in this relationship?” can be a very destructive one. “You don’t know what it’s like to be home with the kids.” Or “You come home from work, and all you do is stay on your […] The post 053 SelfWork: 7 Ways To Feel Partnered In Parenting appeared first on Dr. Margaret Rutherford. Our Sponsors:* Check out Happy Mammoth and use my code SELFWORK for a great deal: https://happymammoth.comAdvertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brands

If your life has been tragically touched by suicide, coping with that loss is like no other grief. In this episode of SelfWork, I’ll talk about that specific grief, and the research that looks at the reasons people take their own lives. Post Traumatic Stress Disorder is often found in those who’ve experienced their loved […] The post 052 SelfWork: Coping with Suicide appeared first on Dr. Margaret Rutherford. Our Sponsors:* Check out Happy Mammoth and use my code SELFWORK for a great deal: https://happymammoth.comAdvertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brands

For many women, being thin is worshipped like no other physical attribute. Not your hair, not your muscles, not your voice. The greatest compliment a woman can hear (at least according to some)? “You look like you’ve lost weight…”. For girls or women with anorexia, staying thin becomes an addictive compulsion. Every waking minute they’re thinking […] The post 051 SelfWork: The Silent Agony of Staying Thin appeared first on Dr. Margaret Rutherford. Our Sponsors:* Check out Happy Mammoth and use my code SELFWORK for a great deal: https://happymammoth.comAdvertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brands

Could you be functioning well -in fact “perfectly” in many ways — and underneath it all, be hiding pain, loneliness or even suicidal thoughts? Dr. Margaret’s term for this is Perfectly Hidden Depression (PHD), a syndrome of behaviors that can lead to a way-too-manicured persona out there for the public to see, while below the […] The post 050 SelfWork: Is Perfectly Hidden Depression Real? appeared first on Dr. Margaret Rutherford. Our Sponsors:* Check out Happy Mammoth and use my code SELFWORK for a great deal: https://happymammoth.comAdvertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brands