Zen Parenting Radio

When I do the annual job of washing the windows in my house, I always say without exception, "I never realized they were that dirty."  I can now see how green the trees are, how blue the sky is. We see the world through our own filter.  Our soul needs to to be cleaned as well by doing things such as reading books, working with a therapist, meditating, taking a mindful walk, etc.  These are all actions that can give us a better perception of the world. Conversely—if you are filling your thoughts/heart with negative things, that is the world that you will see.  If we can all make this shift, our lives will be happier because of it.  We share some resources that may help including Mark Nope's "Book of Awakening" , Gary Chapman's "5 Love Languages" and the documentary Man on Wire (trailer is below). In the second half of our show (22:48 mark) - I go over 11 mistakes I have made in my 11 years of being a husband.  We discuss each one and share some stories.  They are (in no particular order): I made up for my

We interview Josh Becker, a teacher for Breakthrough for Men and host of the I Simply Am podcast.   Breakthrough for Men is dedicated to making real change in the quality of men’s lives.  We discuss why it's much more difficult to gather a group of men (vs. women) for the purpose of self exploration.  Josh helps redefine the definition of manhood - society encourages men to be strong and not vulnerable, intelligent and not thoughtful, powerful and not beautiful.  And men are using unhealthy coping mechanisms (alcohol, drugs, sex, gaming, gambling) to to deal with their unrecognized feelings and challenges.  Josh can be found here and information on Breakthrough for Men can be found here. How can women help men open up? If and when your husband shows any sense of vulnerability, do not use it against them or make fun of them in any way, and create a safe and trusting environment for your husband to express emotions.  Men need to know they're safe before opening up. How can men open up? Take a look at the pe

We interview blogger/editor Ben Martin of The Good Men Project.  We discuss his blog which asks the question Why is it socially acceptable to speak down to children when we would rarely (if ever) speak to another adult in the same way?  Cathy also shares her thoughts on the lessons from the movie Frozen (the trailer can be found @ the bottom of this blog). This movie is all about self acceptance, shining as brightly as we can, and how to utilize our gifts. Cathy and Todd shares some personal experience with feeling freedom after a personal breakup, miscarriages, and forgiveness. We also preview Friday's Conversations With People We Love with Josh Becker. Ben's blog can be found here. We also discuss smaller items like google calendar, sleeping in movies, & walking out of movies, the poower of empathy (Brene Brown video clip below) Don't forget to: Check out our new website & besure to sign up to get all new podcast sent direct to your inbox @ ZPR Vote for us for the Best Health & Lifestyle podcast @ St

Among the topics of todays podcast: We discuss a blog title "Is Disney TV poisoning our kids"?  Some people thinks so.  Some shows are OK, whereas others are just not good for your kids to be watching. Where's the balance between prohibiting certain shows for your kids and letting them figure out for themselves what is good/bad and then having a discussion about the shows.  We contrast the "perfection" of the female actresses of Disney TV vs. what was popular in our day such as the girls on Facts of Life or even current shows such as Modern Family.  The blog can be found here The badness of the cartoon "Might Mouse" and the goodness of Captain Caveman.  See clips below- Lastly Santa pays a visit to ZPR.  What can I say, it's one of the more interesting interviews we have done.  Santa shows up @ the 34:37 mark in the show. Don't forget to: Check out our new website & besure to sign up to get all new podcast sent direct to your inbox @ ZPR Vote for us for the Best Health & Lifestyle podcast @ Stitcher We

We talk with Annie Burnside, author, blogger, and teacher who focuses on spiritual development for individuals and families. In this podcast we discuss the problem with parenting books, why personal growth is the key to parenting, and how to infuse spiritual language and lessons into digestible bites. Annie also talks about raising teenagers and the true definition of success. Towards the end of the show, we talk about the YouTube clip included below.  Annie is the author of Soul to Soul Parenting and she offers Soul Circles in the Chicago area. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nIsCs9_-LP8 We have arranged for a screening of the documentary "Girl Rising" in Lombard.  Click  here to purchase your tickets as there going quickly. Todd's men retreat is February 28th through March 2nd.  Please email @ comments@zenparentingradio.com for details. We would love to hear any comments from the show by sending us an email @ comments@zenparentingradio.com You can be sure to hear more by liking our facebook page @ http

The theme for this week is forgiveness (big and small) and heroes.  Cathy and Todd talk about a  mugger who apologized to his victim on facebook...35 years later. In the spirit of the holiday season they discuss other forms of forgiveness - to ourselves and others. They illustrate this with the story of the two monks. and they also talk a lot about Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer. As we age, our heroes evolve - Todd's hero growing up was Walter Payton, but now he is in awe of others such as Bill Gates, Warren Buffet, and a man named Chuck Feeney. The story about their philanthropic efforts can be found here.  We also discuss Nelson Mandela and Malala. » Read more about the apologetic mugger  here. » Read more about the two monks here. The documentary called The One percent is mentioned in which Jamie Johnson exposes the life of an heir to the Johnson & Johnson fortune. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ELodtbfqBCA We also dedicate the show to the life and memory of Nelson Mandela.  He is honored in part in

We discuss 4 ways to reduce your holiday stress: Dealing with family, How to cope with a case of the “shoulds”, Setting an intention for the holidays, Register for the 8 days of Holiday Calm Virtual Retreat. Todd features the first of four weekly shout outs to a a holiday movie.  This week we feature National Lampoons Christmas Vacation. The Tournament of Bad is in full force as we debate delaying the gratification by listening to holiday music after Thanksgiving – Cathy listens whenever she wants, Todd waits – what do you do? We also play a touching clip that brings Cathy to tears

We talk with Nancy Mullen, social worker, author, pastry chef, and advocate for lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender (LGBT) youth. Nancy worked for several years in the HIV/AIDS field and shifted to her work with LGBT youth in 1998 as the executive director of a small, grassroots agency. She is a sought after public speaker on topics such as LGBT Youth and Adolescent Development and Current Trends in Working with LGBT Youth. She is a blogger and author of Urban Tidepool, a memoir that Nancy describes as “Reminiscent of Lemony Snicket’s “A Series of Unfortunate Events” with a gay twist, a helping of The Glass Castle and a hint of Erma Bombeck.” Cathy’s virtual Holiday Retreat begins on December 9th.  Click the link for more info. We have arranged for a screening of the documentary “Girl Rising” in Lombard.  Click here to purchase your tickets as there going quickly. Todd’s men retreat is March 7th thru March 9th.  Please email @ comments@zenparentingradio.com for details. We would love to hear any commen

What is Thanksgiving about? Being with family or finding the best deal? Many retailers moved Black Friday deals up a day and now people are expected to work on Thanksgiving or they feel the need to shop instead of relax.  We subscribe to not feeding into the frenzy – will you join us? We also discuss a book titled Triumphs of Experience by George Vaillant.  The book is the longest longitudinal study of human development.  Among the surprising findings: people who do well in old age did not necessarily do so well in midlife, and vice versa.  We discuss more from the book and share a clip from the author.  We learn a new idea from the author in which he states that the ability to take love in and metabolize it is the key to a successful life. Other random stuff: The Safety Dance, The Fabulous Thunderbirds, and Todd’s disdain for shopping and receving clothes as gifts. Cathy’s virtual Holiday Retreat begins on December 9th.  Click the link for more info. We have arranged for a screening of the documentar

We were inspired by a 60 Minutes segment about a group of billionaires who took “The Giving Pledge”.  It’s headed up by Bill/Melinda Gates and Warren Buffet, and the only requirement is to give away at least half of your fortune.  Sometimes it’s easy to look at the super rich and say, “Well if I was that rich, I would do the same thing.”  The bottom line is that most people in the U.S. are rich compared to other people around the world.  We must ask ourselves, are we doing everything we can to help others?  The 60 Minutes is below. One of the billionaires is a man named Jeffrey Skoll.  He produces documentaries with the hopes to bring about social change.  This led to a discussion about our own favorite documentaries with a link to the trailers below: Girl Rising- The movie tells the stories of nine girls from nine countries.  Their stories reflect their struggles to overcome societal or cultural barriers. Register to view the “Girl Rising” screening in Lombard IL on January 21st here I Am- In the film,

Conversations With People We Love- We interview a self admitted former bully.  Mark Schultz is a friend and somebody who told Cathy and I that we had to watch the documentary Bullyand then interview him on his experiences as a former bully with the hopes that we can all learn a little bit from his experience.  He shares with us how he became a bully and the unlikely person who showed up to change his ways. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eUy2ZWoStr0 Todd's men retreat is March 7th thru March 9th.  Please email @ comments@zenparentingradio.com for details. We would love to hear any comments from the show by sending us an email @ comments@zenparentingradio.com You can be sure to hear more by liking our facebook page @ https://www.facebook.com/ZenParenting You can subscribe to Cathy’s blog by going to http://www.chicagonow.com/self-aware-parent/ Thank you for listening!!!  

We are talking about bullying…. again, but this time it’s about the adults (Rich Incognito/Jonathan Martin story).  We discuss “man code” and the culture of the NFL, but recognize that many cultures have a “code” that is expected to be kept. It’s easy to direct anger at the an individual, but we are reminded that most bullies were a victims at some point in their lives. We also discuss end of life decisions as a result of a news story from last week.  As Todd ages, he further differentiates the difference between one’s physical body, emotions, and heart.  Are we our body?  This video from Nick Vujicic might help inspire you. Tournament of Bad- Todd takes issue with the new bubble wrap. Finally we answered a question from a listener tring to recapture the closeness with her daughter that is eluding her. Todd’s men retreat is March 7th thru March 9th.  Please email @ comments@zenparentingradio.com for details. We would love to hear any comments from the show by sending us an email @ comments@zenparenting

Are you sure about that?  Parents of boys say this to us a lot, but this can be a matter of experience or expectation. Sure, it may feel true in many situations, but not hearing a peep from your boys about anything doesn’t mean that nothing is going on – they may just be less comfortable expressing their emotions and asking for help. Maybe a girl does become more frustrated or unsure about emotional experiences or relationships, but this is entirely normal and healthy. They are often more connected, tapped-in, and caring when it comes to people and life. Not such bad traits, right?  Instead of telling them they are dramatic and oversensitive, let’s learn how to support, soothe, and guide them so they can feel good about their gifts and who they are.  And when it comes to our boys, let’s allow for emotional expression and demonstrate that it’s OK to ask for help. By the way- Todd gets frustrated when other men tell him about all the drama when it comes to raising daughters. The term “drama” carries a negativ

Do you ever feel like you don’t have time to live your passion?  You are not alone. That’s why we invited Chicago musician Gerry O’Keefe to talk with us about living his passion while taking care of work and family business. We discuss how to keep your passion despite the responsibilities we have as a parent, employee, spouse, etc., his new album titled “Whatever Suits You”, Van Halen, David Cassidy, not allowing the negative to penetrate our mindset, and finally The Monkees Be sure to listen in to a “sing-off” between amateur vocalist Todd Adams vs professional vocalist Gerry O’Keefe. Who wins? You decide. If you live in Elmhurst, make sure you see Gerry O’Keefe perform at HB Jones on Saturday, November 9th at 7:30!  It’s a fun and all-ages show. We would love to hear any comments from the show by sending us an email @ comments@zenparentingradio.com You can be sure to hear more by liking our facebook page @ https://www.facebook.com/ZenParenting You can subscribe to Cathy’s blog by going to http://www.ch

Failure is important right? We learn a lot from failure, right? Then why do we try to protect our children from ever failing? We have a discussion between the relationship between failure, confidence, narcissism, self worth, etc. The people who have made the largest impact on our world had significant failures, too. We also discuss families who send their kids to an “athletic boarding school” Is this an effort to give their child the best opportunity to succeed, or is it deeper than that?   Don’t forget to listen in to our bi-monthly podcast called- “Conversations with People We Love” This week we speak with Chicago’s own singer/songwriter Gerry O’Keefe about the delicate balance between following your passion and responsibilities of work/family. We would love to hear any comments from the show by sending us an email @ comments@zenparentingradio.com You can be sure to hear more by liking our facebook page @ https://www.facebook.com/ZenParenting You can subscribe to Cathy’s blog by going to http://www.c

In the Jewish tradition there are two different words that describe fear.  The first is called Pachad- “projected or imagined fear,” or the “fear whose objects are imagined.”  The second is called Yirah- the fear that overcomes us when we suddenly find ourselves in possession of considerably more energy than we are used to.  We discuss the video below from Tara Sophia Mohr describing the differences. We then discuss healthy ways to overcome fear: Analyze your fear Acknowledge it, name it, write it down.  Keep a journal. Define it contours- where did it begin?  What triggers it?  how does it affect you?  What power does it have?  Sometimes it can be healthy, recognize when it’s not. Imagine the outcome you desire. Take control of your fear Baby steps Deliberately encounter it.  you might realize it’s not as bad as you thought.  Be prepared to deal with failure Ride the wave.  If you’re doing something- keep the momentum going.  Don’t give up.  Don’t let others hold you back.  Chang

Well, you’ve come to the right place. In our very first bi-monthly “Conversations with People we Love”, we talk with Heather Criswell, author of “How to Raise a Happy Child” . Crawl inside the mind of Heather, a noted “kid whisperer”, and see how she discovered (through 25 years and 30,000 children) what works with every child, in every situation, every time. Heather also shares some of her own struggles and she discusses how language can be particularly important when talking with your child, especially around issues such as body image. Heather is an inspiring person that you should know! We would love to hear any comments from the show by sending us an email @ comments@zenparentingradio.com You can be sure to hear more by liking our facebook page @ https://www.facebook.com/ZenParenting You can subscribe to Cathy’s blog by going to http://www.chicagonow.com/self-aware-parent/ Thank you for listening!!!

Science now tells us that if we react to our children's "failures" with compassion instead of criticism, our kids will have a greater likelihood of succeeding. We discuss these ideas and the book Self Compassion by Kristin Neff. We also discuss the different ways men and women measure acts of love.  The good news for the guys is that we use a  point system, the bad news is we haven't been keeping score the right way. We announce the beginning of our bi-monthly installment of ZPR called, “Conversations of People We Love”. Our first show will debut on Friday, October 18th - we will talk with Heather Criswell- author of the book “How To Raise a Happy Child” We also include a few entries into our tournament of bad. We would love to hear any comments from the show by sending us an email @ comments@zenparentingradio.com You can be sure to hear more by liking our facebook page @ https://www.facebook.com/ZenParenting You can subscribe to Cathy’s blog by going to http://www.chicagonow.com/self-aware-parent/ Tha

A listener emailed and said her husband becomes agitated when she discusses personal growth or suggests listening to our podcast. We discuss the importance of honoring where your partner is in this moment (maybe he doesn't want to listen to the podcast), and still speaking up about your own needs (but he can appreciate that you enjoy it). Change can be scary, but it's a necessary and normal part of everyday life. Self awareness is not always about being dissatisfied with yourself or others, it's about recognizing potential and being cognizant of everyday choices.  This allows us to live from a place of peace and contentment. Do you really know what Grand Theft Auto is really about?  Are you aware that you get points for killing, selling drugs, and sleeping with prostitutes? We continue our conversation about the affect these games have on young minds. The insanity of it all is perfectly described in this Saturday Night Live segment. We announce the beginning of our bi-monthly installment of ZPR called, “Co

Do you have a spouse who travels? Are both the exit and reentry a challenge? Do you feel appreciated for what you do while your spouse is away, and does your spouse feel appreciated for the hard work involved in work travel?  We discuss the importance of validation and communication when your partner travels, and why it's important to say what you need. We also discuss the importance of prioritization and how we need to allow our partner to arrive at their own conclusions instead of forcing them to act. Todd recognized how his ego got in the way of a big decision, and he shares why and how he decided to shift. We also discuss the genius of Louis CK as he talks about his kids, technology, and the importance of sadness.  The entire clip can be found here.  We also give some practical advice on how to curb our addiction to our phone, technology, ipad, etc written byAdina Kalish Neufeld. The entire article can be read here. Interested in having Cathy/Todd speak at your school or scout meeting?  Email us @ comm