Zen Parenting Radio

How do we introduce cell phones to our kids? It's a big step into an adult world, and concerns such as these are common: Will they abuse it?, Will they turn into "phoneheads"?, What kind of phone is appropriate?, What are the expectations around use of the phone? A few years ago Janelle Hoffman wrote a blog about phone expectations that went viral. We used her blog as "bones" for a list we created called "Jacey's Phone Smarts": We own the phone, but it’s yours to use. We will know all phone passwords. Answer calls/texts from your parents, and answer the phone politely when it rings. Phone stays plugged in downstairs at night. Listen to your instincts and call and text only at appropriate times during the day. During the day the phone is for safety – (specifically so we can communicate). Talk to people during the day, do not become a “phone head”. If it breaks or get lost, you will cover the cost. Use technology only for good. Do not use it to harm or lie. Do not involve yourself in group texts

In the second half of this 2 part interview, we continue the conversation between Aaron Krueger and Erin Kuhn-Krueger about their experience with multiple miscarriages and stillbirth. In this moving and inspiring interview they share their challenges, coping tools, and their strength and determination to become parents. This show is a must if you have experienced pregnancy or infant loss, or if you know someone who is trying to navigate the grief associated with baby loss. This is Part 2 of a two part interview with the Krueger family - Part 1 was aired on Friday, June 6th.  Part 1 can be found here.   Erin has a website and blog called "Will Carry On". She  shares her experiences and insights and offers resources and tools for other families in need. Click here to hear an episode about Cathy and Todd's experience with miscarriage. Click here to watch the movie "Return to Zero" about a couple's experience with stillbirth. Other Resources: Click the following links to purchase Cathy's books The Self-Aware

Of course there are plenty of men who are not misogynists, but that doesn't mean that women are not subjected to misognystic behavior. We have to take responsibility for ourselves and also recognize what we tolerate- our friends inappropriate jokes or behavior, the song lyrics we listen to, the movies we love, the people we idolize. And it's not just men, women need to recognize how they contribute  - gossiping, judging, and disrespecting other women can add to the overall problem. Todd gets on his soap box. There are numerous youtube clips, blogs, books articles helping and supporting the girls, but he is seeking more support for the boys. If we are going to make change, it can't be one sided.  Girl empowerment is essential, but so is supporting boys in expressing their emotion. If we focused on both simultaneously, real change could occur. They also discuss The Fault in our Stars and Malificient, two great summer movies. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=642lKXC97c4 Other Resources: Click here to find Ca

We speak with Aaron Krueger and Erin Kuhn-Krueger about their experience with multiple miscarriages and stillbirth. In this moving and inspiring interview they share their challenges, coping tools, and their strength and determination to become parents. This show is a must if you have experienced pregnancy or infant loss, or if you know someone who is trying to navigate the grief associated with baby loss. This is Part 1 of a two part interview with the Krueger family - Part 2 will air Friday, June 13th. Erin has a website and blog called "Will Carry On". She  shares her experiences and insights and offers resources and tools for other families in need. Click here to hear an episode about Cathy and Todd's experience with miscarriage. Click here to watch the movie "Return to Zero" about a couple's experience with stillbirth. Other Resources: Click here to find Cathy's books The Self-Aware Parent 1 & 2, click here to find her blog, and click here to find her Chicago Parent column. Todd has a few spots ope

Of course you are the parent and your role is important, but can you sometimes just drop the role and relate to your child as an individual? We break down the the role of parent to redefine what it means to support your child. When your child comes to you with a problem, do you deal with the internal or the external?  Most of us deal with the external - focus on how it looks and how to fix it. But do we consider what our child is feeling and experiencing? Instead of trying to "fix" the problem immediately, can we first: Listen Validate Normalize If we initially put more attention on the internal, our children we will be better able to hear our opinion and probable solutions. Other Resources: Click here to find Cathy's books The Self-Aware Parent 1 & 2, click here to find her blog, and click here to find her Chicago Parent column. Todd has a few spots opening for his Men's Group.  Email me @ comments@zenparentingradio.com Tree of Life Chiropractic Care have some interesting workshops planned.  An

Do you want to be happy? Guess what, you've got the tools to do it! Happiness can be cultivated regardless of your childhood or genes - you just need to make it a daily priority! Shawn Achor is a Harvard Professor who teaches a class on how to be happy -  research shows it comes from the INSIDE and has little to do with the external experiences. It's not about waiting to be happy until you find success, it's about being happy and then achieving success due to your happiness. Happiness comes from striving for something that has value, not the attainment. Genes and environment can play a role in your everyday feelings, so you need to strengthen your happy muscles, you have the power! Here are a few specific steps you can take right now to make yourself more happy.  Pick a few and practice for 21 days - see if it makes a difference: Spend two minutes each day expressing gratitude either verbally or written. Write about one meaningful thing that happened to you in the last 24 hours and provide as much detai

Did you know that May is Williams Syndrome Awareness Month? Williams syndrome is a genetic condition characterized by medical problems, including cardiovascular disease, developmental delays, and learning disabilities.  People with Williams Syndrome also tend to have enhanced verbal abilities, highly social personalities and an affinity for music.  It effects 1 in 10,000 people worldwide – an estimated 20,000 to 30,000 people in the United States. We interview Amy Connell-Donohue, the mother of 11 year old Emerson who was diagnosed with Williams Syndrome when she was 1.  Amy shares her road to diagnosis and the challenges of finding out that your child is not  typical. She also shares lessons from Emerson and says that she's the glue that holds the family together. Amy's article about her family is in the May issue of Chicago Parent, it's titled Having it All. We know Emerson personally and she is dear to our heart!  Learn more about Williams Syndrome here: http://williams-syndrome.org/ Whispering Trails

Todd and Cathy discuss their  disagreement over how "active" their kids should be in extracurricular activities. Keeping  kids "busy" is connected to our past experiences and our need for constant productivity. It is essential that we see ourselves and our motives clearly when creating expectations for our children. We also talk about some conscious parent foundational elements including self-awareness, mindfulness, and kindness.  Conscious parenting is not a "technique", it's actually a way of living and relating to yourself and others. Click here to find Cathy's books The Self-Aware Parent 1 & 2, click here to find her blog, and click here to find her Chicago Parent column. Todd has a few spots opening for his Men's Group.  Email me @ comments@zenparentingradio.com Tree of Life Chiropractic Care have some interesting workshops planned.  An outline can be found here. If you shop Amazon by going through our website first (there is an amazon link on the bottom right hand of our home page), a portion of yo

Mother do you think they'll drop the bomb?  That's the first line in this epic song.  We disect the lyrics and use it to help understand conscious parenting. Roger Water's song (on the show we use the Natalie Maines version) points out that parents can have the best intentions when "protecting" their children, but if done unconsciously, or with lack of self awareness, it can backfire. Full Lyrics to Mother: Mother do you think they'll drop the bomb Mother do you think they'll like the song Mother do you think they'll try to break my balls Ooooh aah, Mother should I build a wall Mother should I run for president Mother should I trust the government Mother will they put me in the firing line Ooooh aah, is it just a waste of time Hush now baby, baby don't you cry Mama's gonna make all of your Nightmares come true Mama's gonna put all of her fears into you Mama's gonna keep you right here Under her wing she won't let you fly but she might let you sing Mama will keep baby cosy and warm Ooooh Babe Ooooh Babe Oooo

In honor of Mother's Day, we invited our moms to talk about what we were like as kids.  We also talk about the changes that have taken place from the time they were kids (a.k.a. the olden days) to  raising us in the 70's - we also discuss how their grandchildren are being raised. We get nostalgic and we have a lot of laughs. We love our moms! https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tUkE9qaVgmo&list=PLyfsVoKpa6Y3LqyDbc04-6M6V9rJETgt- Our guest Dr. Shefali Tsabary is about to rocket into the Oprah stratosphere.  She'll be on Oprah's Soul Series and Life Class on Sunday, May 18th.  Time to set your DVR's. Click here to find Cathy's books The Self-Aware Parent 1 & 2, click here to find her blog, and click here to find her Chicago Parent column. Todd has a few spots opening for his Men's Group.  Email me @ comments@zenparentingradio.com Tree of Life Chiropractic Care have some interesting workshops planned.  An outline can be found here. If you shop Amazon by going through our website first (there is an amazon link

What's the difference between punishment, discipline, and natural consequences?  We discuss a few different events that happened in our house that allowed for natural consequences.  Rather than using fear to punish, natural consequences help children understand and integrate a teaching. We also discuss cell phone usage - specifically: What is the correct age to give your access to a phone? What conditions should be put on it? Are we telling our children that we don't trust them if we ask them to look through all their messages? There was a story in the Chicago Tribune about a middle school that had to deal with sexting.  We discuss the different technologies surrounding kids and their phones.   Our guest Dr. Shefali Tsabary is about to rocket into the Oprah stratosphere.  She'll be on Oprah's Soul Series and Life Class on Sunday, May 18th.  Time to set your DVR's. Click here to find Cathy's books The Self-Aware Parent 1 & 2, click here to find her blog, and click here to find her Chicago Parent colu

Most of us do.  Why do we sometimes feel like fakes at work, at home, in the world?  Why are we afraid that someone is going to figure out that we really don't know what we are doing? We discuss how this feeling plays into our parenting and how we can practice feeling as "real" as possible. We play a clip (below) from Amy Cudder's Ted Talk on self doubt and how to deal with it. We also discuss our upcoming "The Good Life Virtual  Retreat" . What does it mean to live a good life? It means to "shed the veils over our souls" (a quote from Elizabeth Lesser) and learn to live in love. Our retreat starts next week and we will practice "letting go" so we can actually notice all the goodness around us! You don't want to miss it, click here to register. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ks-_Mh1QhMc https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=u4xYENd02_E Other notes: Click here to find Cathy's books The Self-Aware Parent 1 & 2, click here to find her blog, and click here to find her Chicago Parent column. Todd has a few spots

Do we want our kids to be popular?  How important is this? What makes our kids popular? Is it athletic ability and physical stature or is it physical attractiveness and attention from the opposite sex? We share our perspective and discuss why parents play a role in how their children are perceived. We also use great 80's movies like Ferris Bueller's Day Off, The Breakfast Club, Pretty in Pink, & Revenge of the Nerds to make our "popular" points. We are facilitating our next virtual retreat! It's called "The Good Life" and it's in celebration of Mother's Day. Register and gift the retreat to someone for FREE!   Other notes: Click here to find Cathy's books The Self-Aware Parent 1 & 2, click here to find her blog, and click here to find her Chicago Parent column. Todd has a few spots opening for his Men's Group.  Email me @ comments@zenparentingradio.com Tree of Life Chiropractic Care have some interesting workshops planned.  An outline can be found here. If you shop Amazon by going through our website fi

Typically pessimists respond to problems by believing these three things: It's Personal- They blame themselves for an event that has occurred. It's Permanent- They think it will never get better. It's Pervasive- They assume failure in one area of life means failure in life as a whole and that failure is happening everywhere and can't be stopped. Do we carry some of these traits?  Does it affect our parenting?  We discuss this and offer options for turning these thoughts around.   We also discuss a few scenes from The Shawshank Redemption and Terms of Endearment.   We answer a listener's question regarding a rivalry between her two sons- (ages 8 and 10) and how we almost lost Goldie the goldfish. We are facilitating our next virtual retreat! It's called "The Good Life" and it's in celebration of Mother's Day. Youtube clips https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=u4xYENd02_E&feature=youtu.be https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1Evwgu369Jw Other resources discussed on the show- The 4 Agreements by Don Miguel R

Is it manly to take paternity leave? When Daniel Murphy's (a player on the New York Mets) wife had a baby, he utilized the paternity leave that is allowed under the collective bargaining agreement set forth by Major League Baseball.  But why is he being criticized?  Is it "man code" to get back to work as soon as the birth is over? If we are a nation of family values, why do we place work over family? https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QbMFHX5iq We also discuss Todd's blod titled, Am I a Bad Dad? Am I a Bad Husband?  where he discusses "traditional" father/mother roles and whether it's nature, nurture, or gender (or all three?) that influence our ability to parent. Lastly we review some previous podcasts titled Grieving a Miscarriage and The Business of Being Born and Honey, it’s time!  Todd has a few spots opening for his Men's Group.  Email me @ comments@zenparentingradio.com Tree of Life Chiropractic Care has some interesting workshops planned.  An outline can be found here. If you shop Amazon by going

We discuss 8 different ways to help your children be more mindful: 1. Mindful breathing 2. Past/present/future 3. Take in the joy 4. Quiet time 5. Practice listening 6. Emotional awareness – feeling – asking questions about feelings 7. Gratitude – don’t judge what they are grateful for – role model 8. Do it yourself We also discuss the idea of creeping separateness.  This is when we "ignore the cracks" in a marriage.  The little things that are done (or sometimes not done) which create distance between couples.  We come up with a few practical ideas on how to fill those cracks. Todd has a few spots opening for his Men's Group.  Email me @ comments@zenparentingradio.com Tree of Life Chiropractic Care has some interesting workshops planned.  An outline can be found here. If you shop Amazon by going through our website first (there is an amazon link on the bottom right hand of our home page), a portion of your sale will help fund our Be U program.  Thanks for supporting us! Check out our new website & be s

Our friends and neighbors Jeanne and Jeff Plaisted walk the walk.  They decided that on their 15th anniversary they were going to do something special.  Massages on the beach in Hawaii?  Nope.  A cruise through the Caribbean?  Try again. They decided to make a difference.  They stepped away from their day to day life and packed up for a two-week trip to Nicaragua.  They were inspired by Spark Ventures, a Chicago-based nonprofit that partners with grassroots organizations to help children in developing countries. They told us about their experience and how it changed their perception of our world.  They also wanted to lead by example and teach their sons (3rd grade and 6th grade) what it means to be a global citizen.  Their story is truly inspiring! Todd has a few spots opening for his Men's Group.  Email me @ comments@zenparentingradio.com Tree of Life Chiropractic Care has some interesting workshops planned.  An outline can be found here. If you shop Amazon by going through our website first (there is a

We all know that most of us are overwhelmed.  The question is- what do we do about it?  Like most things- it begins with awareness.  We get into a discussion based on a book by Brigid Schulte titled -Overwhelmed- Work, Love, & Play When No One Has The Time.  We play some clips from an amazing interview she did with NPR's Terry Gross.  Some of the highlights include: The idea of "contaminated time" Is there a different set of expectations between men and women when it comes to parenting? We claim to be a culture of family values- Is this in alignment with the behaviors and policies we currently have? Balancing the responsibilities of parenting between mom and dad The dangers of being "fun dad" The biology that men have in regards to being a nurturer. Resources Peace is Every Step by Thich Nhat Hanh A New Earth weekly interview with Oprah Winfrey and Eckhart Tolle  Hunteryoga.com has created another Daily Practice that begins on March 24th!!!  The first week is free.  Click the link for more de

In this compelling interview, our friend Katie Weiss shares her breast cancer experience, starting with the fact that she was diagnosed at 35. Due to her age she is told her lump is probably nothing, but she walks us through the series of incidents that lead to the mind-numbing news that she indeed had breast cancer. Recently separated and with a three-year-old daughter at home, Katie takes us from diagnosis, to chemotherapy and finally recovery. Katie's storytelling is vulnerable, raw, and full of humor - we were laughing and crying a the same time! There is so much to learn from her amazing story, this podcast is a must listen!

Todd confesses that he still feels intimidated by powerful women in our society, and he uses Oprah and Hillary Clinton as examples.  This leads to a discussion about the campaign created by Sheryl Sandberg called "Banning Bossy"  The campaign is designed to empower female leadership by making us more conscious of the words we use to describe young girls as they assert themselves. The confidence gap starts early- Between elementary and high school, girls’ self–esteem drops 3.5 times more than boys’. Bossy holds girls back- Girls are twice as likely as boys to worry that leadership roles will make them seem “bossy.” Girls get less airtime in class- They are called on less and interrupted more. They also discuss Cathy's blog- "Banning Bossy: It's not about the word, it's about the conversation" and why this campaign (which has been ridiculed by bloggers and the media) is worth another look. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6dynbzMlCcw Other topics include the value of partner vacations and why being away can