Zen Parenting Radio

We discuss the importance of the inner world, specifically how this relates to preadolescent/teenage boys. They generally don't ask for help, but that doesn't mean they don't need support.  We offer tips and guidance in how to understand and relate to "boy world".  We also discuss the "innerscape" and "outerscape" of a person and why "remembering and forgetting" are part of the consciousness process. REMINDERS: Virtual Relationship Retreat- For individuals, couples, friends, or the workplace.  Practice self awareness, develop communication skills, and discover ways to create peaceful and more harmonious relationships. Click here for more details. If you shop Amazon by going through our website first (there is an amazon link on the bottom right hand of our home page), a portion of your sale will help fund our Be U program.  Thanks for supporting us! Check out our new website & be sure to sign up to get all new podcast sent direct to your inbox @ ZPR. Todd's Men Adventure Retreat is February 28th through

In the first half of the show we discuss ideas a blog written by Dr. Mark Goulston on how to increase the happiness of your "couplehood"  The 10 habits discussed: 1. Go to bed at the same time 2. Cultivate common interests 3. Walk hand in hand or side by side 4. Make trust and forgiveness your default 5. Focus more on what your partner does right than what he or she does wrong 6. Hug each other as soon as you see each other after work 7. Say “I love you” and “Have a good day” every morning 8. Say “Good night” every night, regardless of how you feel 9. Do a “weather” check during the day 10. Be proud to be seen with your partner The second half of the show we discuss a blog written by Kate Hunter titled " The Age Your Kids Need You Around The Most"  Many times parents tend to take a less active role of parenting during the pre-adolecent stage as children begin to spread their wings.  Many experts believe this is the time when they need us the most. Todd also submits two entries into the Tournament of Bad- G

We interview Dr. Shefali Tsabary the author of the The Conscious Parent (with a forward written by the Dalai Lama) and her new book Out of Control  which questions why and how we discipline children. Some of the issues we discuss with Dr. Shefali: - What are the first steps we can take to become a more conscious parent? - What prevents us from being the parent that we want to be? - Why most discipline strategies don't work. How parenting our children can help us heal our past wounds. - How to release guilt when we recognize our parenting challenges are less about our children issues and more about our issues. - Can our children be an instrument for our own personal growth? - How do we release the power of natural consequences? REMINDERS: If you shop Amazon by going through our website first (there is an amazon link on the bottom right hand of our home page), a portion of your sale will help fund our Be U program.  Thanks for supporting us! Check out our new website & be sure to sign up to get all new podc

It's Cathy's turn to share what she learned after 11 years of marriage.  Her mistakes: 1. Being a martyr 2. Pretending to like things I didn't like 3. Not trying things I haven't tried (paradox) 4. Worrying about the small stuff (and not seeing the big stuff)5.Not trusting Todd's ability to parent 5. Wanting Todd to read my mind 6. Shutting down instead of saying what I felt 7. Not saying thank you and sorry 8. Not admitting to my mistakes 9. Not recognizing that letting go is the best way to love In the second half of our show, we interview our new Partner, Hunter Clark from hunteryoga.com/zen. In our continual effort to provide resources to our listeners, we introduced Hunter's 28 day Daily Practice Immersion.  This program will help our listeners develop a home yoga practice that will fit into your day; help you form the new, positive habit of self-care; and teach you practical ways to relieve stress and relax the body and mind. The first 7 days are free so we encourage you to signup by going to hunteryo

When I do the annual job of washing the windows in my house, I always say without exception, "I never realized they were that dirty."  I can now see how green the trees are, how blue the sky is. We see the world through our own filter.  Our soul needs to to be cleaned as well by doing things such as reading books, working with a therapist, meditating, taking a mindful walk, etc.  These are all actions that can give us a better perception of the world. Conversely—if you are filling your thoughts/heart with negative things, that is the world that you will see.  If we can all make this shift, our lives will be happier because of it.  We share some resources that may help including Mark Nope's "Book of Awakening" , Gary Chapman's "5 Love Languages" and the documentary Man on Wire (trailer is below). In the second half of our show (22:48 mark) - I go over 11 mistakes I have made in my 11 years of being a husband.  We discuss each one and share some stories.  They are (in no particular order): I made up for my

We interview Josh Becker, a teacher for Breakthrough for Men and host of the I Simply Am podcast.   Breakthrough for Men is dedicated to making real change in the quality of men’s lives.  We discuss why it's much more difficult to gather a group of men (vs. women) for the purpose of self exploration.  Josh helps redefine the definition of manhood - society encourages men to be strong and not vulnerable, intelligent and not thoughtful, powerful and not beautiful.  And men are using unhealthy coping mechanisms (alcohol, drugs, sex, gaming, gambling) to to deal with their unrecognized feelings and challenges.  Josh can be found here and information on Breakthrough for Men can be found here. How can women help men open up? If and when your husband shows any sense of vulnerability, do not use it against them or make fun of them in any way, and create a safe and trusting environment for your husband to express emotions.  Men need to know they're safe before opening up. How can men open up? Take a look at the pe

We interview blogger/editor Ben Martin of The Good Men Project.  We discuss his blog which asks the question Why is it socially acceptable to speak down to children when we would rarely (if ever) speak to another adult in the same way?  Cathy also shares her thoughts on the lessons from the movie Frozen (the trailer can be found @ the bottom of this blog). This movie is all about self acceptance, shining as brightly as we can, and how to utilize our gifts. Cathy and Todd shares some personal experience with feeling freedom after a personal breakup, miscarriages, and forgiveness. We also preview Friday's Conversations With People We Love with Josh Becker. Ben's blog can be found here. We also discuss smaller items like google calendar, sleeping in movies, & walking out of movies, the poower of empathy (Brene Brown video clip below) Don't forget to: Check out our new website & besure to sign up to get all new podcast sent direct to your inbox @ ZPR Vote for us for the Best Health & Lifestyle podcast @ St

Among the topics of todays podcast: We discuss a blog title "Is Disney TV poisoning our kids"?  Some people thinks so.  Some shows are OK, whereas others are just not good for your kids to be watching. Where's the balance between prohibiting certain shows for your kids and letting them figure out for themselves what is good/bad and then having a discussion about the shows.  We contrast the "perfection" of the female actresses of Disney TV vs. what was popular in our day such as the girls on Facts of Life or even current shows such as Modern Family.  The blog can be found here The badness of the cartoon "Might Mouse" and the goodness of Captain Caveman.  See clips below- Lastly Santa pays a visit to ZPR.  What can I say, it's one of the more interesting interviews we have done.  Santa shows up @ the 34:37 mark in the show. Don't forget to: Check out our new website & besure to sign up to get all new podcast sent direct to your inbox @ ZPR Vote for us for the Best Health & Lifestyle podcast @ Stitcher We

We talk with Annie Burnside, author, blogger, and teacher who focuses on spiritual development for individuals and families. In this podcast we discuss the problem with parenting books, why personal growth is the key to parenting, and how to infuse spiritual language and lessons into digestible bites. Annie also talks about raising teenagers and the true definition of success. Towards the end of the show, we talk about the YouTube clip included below.  Annie is the author of Soul to Soul Parenting and she offers Soul Circles in the Chicago area. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nIsCs9_-LP8 We have arranged for a screening of the documentary "Girl Rising" in Lombard.  Click  here to purchase your tickets as there going quickly. Todd's men retreat is February 28th through March 2nd.  Please email @ comments@zenparentingradio.com for details. We would love to hear any comments from the show by sending us an email @ comments@zenparentingradio.com You can be sure to hear more by liking our facebook page @ http

The theme for this week is forgiveness (big and small) and heroes.  Cathy and Todd talk about a  mugger who apologized to his victim on facebook...35 years later. In the spirit of the holiday season they discuss other forms of forgiveness - to ourselves and others. They illustrate this with the story of the two monks. and they also talk a lot about Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer. As we age, our heroes evolve - Todd's hero growing up was Walter Payton, but now he is in awe of others such as Bill Gates, Warren Buffet, and a man named Chuck Feeney. The story about their philanthropic efforts can be found here.  We also discuss Nelson Mandela and Malala. » Read more about the apologetic mugger  here. » Read more about the two monks here. The documentary called The One percent is mentioned in which Jamie Johnson exposes the life of an heir to the Johnson & Johnson fortune. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ELodtbfqBCA We also dedicate the show to the life and memory of Nelson Mandela.  He is honored in part in

We discuss 4 ways to reduce your holiday stress: Dealing with family, How to cope with a case of the “shoulds”, Setting an intention for the holidays, Register for the 8 days of Holiday Calm Virtual Retreat. Todd features the first of four weekly shout outs to a a holiday movie.  This week we feature National Lampoons Christmas Vacation. The Tournament of Bad is in full force as we debate delaying the gratification by listening to holiday music after Thanksgiving – Cathy listens whenever she wants, Todd waits – what do you do? We also play a touching clip that brings Cathy to tears

We talk with Nancy Mullen, social worker, author, pastry chef, and advocate for lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender (LGBT) youth. Nancy worked for several years in the HIV/AIDS field and shifted to her work with LGBT youth in 1998 as the executive director of a small, grassroots agency. She is a sought after public speaker on topics such as LGBT Youth and Adolescent Development and Current Trends in Working with LGBT Youth. She is a blogger and author of Urban Tidepool, a memoir that Nancy describes as “Reminiscent of Lemony Snicket’s “A Series of Unfortunate Events” with a gay twist, a helping of The Glass Castle and a hint of Erma Bombeck.” Cathy’s virtual Holiday Retreat begins on December 9th.  Click the link for more info. We have arranged for a screening of the documentary “Girl Rising” in Lombard.  Click here to purchase your tickets as there going quickly. Todd’s men retreat is March 7th thru March 9th.  Please email @ comments@zenparentingradio.com for details. We would love to hear any commen

What is Thanksgiving about? Being with family or finding the best deal? Many retailers moved Black Friday deals up a day and now people are expected to work on Thanksgiving or they feel the need to shop instead of relax.  We subscribe to not feeding into the frenzy – will you join us? We also discuss a book titled Triumphs of Experience by George Vaillant.  The book is the longest longitudinal study of human development.  Among the surprising findings: people who do well in old age did not necessarily do so well in midlife, and vice versa.  We discuss more from the book and share a clip from the author.  We learn a new idea from the author in which he states that the ability to take love in and metabolize it is the key to a successful life. Other random stuff: The Safety Dance, The Fabulous Thunderbirds, and Todd’s disdain for shopping and receving clothes as gifts. Cathy’s virtual Holiday Retreat begins on December 9th.  Click the link for more info. We have arranged for a screening of the documentar

We were inspired by a 60 Minutes segment about a group of billionaires who took “The Giving Pledge”.  It’s headed up by Bill/Melinda Gates and Warren Buffet, and the only requirement is to give away at least half of your fortune.  Sometimes it’s easy to look at the super rich and say, “Well if I was that rich, I would do the same thing.”  The bottom line is that most people in the U.S. are rich compared to other people around the world.  We must ask ourselves, are we doing everything we can to help others?  The 60 Minutes is below. One of the billionaires is a man named Jeffrey Skoll.  He produces documentaries with the hopes to bring about social change.  This led to a discussion about our own favorite documentaries with a link to the trailers below: Girl Rising- The movie tells the stories of nine girls from nine countries.  Their stories reflect their struggles to overcome societal or cultural barriers. Register to view the “Girl Rising” screening in Lombard IL on January 21st here I Am- In the film,

Conversations With People We Love- We interview a self admitted former bully.  Mark Schultz is a friend and somebody who told Cathy and I that we had to watch the documentary Bullyand then interview him on his experiences as a former bully with the hopes that we can all learn a little bit from his experience.  He shares with us how he became a bully and the unlikely person who showed up to change his ways. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eUy2ZWoStr0 Todd's men retreat is March 7th thru March 9th.  Please email @ comments@zenparentingradio.com for details. We would love to hear any comments from the show by sending us an email @ comments@zenparentingradio.com You can be sure to hear more by liking our facebook page @ https://www.facebook.com/ZenParenting You can subscribe to Cathy’s blog by going to http://www.chicagonow.com/self-aware-parent/ Thank you for listening!!!  

We are talking about bullying…. again, but this time it’s about the adults (Rich Incognito/Jonathan Martin story).  We discuss “man code” and the culture of the NFL, but recognize that many cultures have a “code” that is expected to be kept. It’s easy to direct anger at the an individual, but we are reminded that most bullies were a victims at some point in their lives. We also discuss end of life decisions as a result of a news story from last week.  As Todd ages, he further differentiates the difference between one’s physical body, emotions, and heart.  Are we our body?  This video from Nick Vujicic might help inspire you. Tournament of Bad- Todd takes issue with the new bubble wrap. Finally we answered a question from a listener tring to recapture the closeness with her daughter that is eluding her. Todd’s men retreat is March 7th thru March 9th.  Please email @ comments@zenparentingradio.com for details. We would love to hear any comments from the show by sending us an email @ comments@zenparenting

Are you sure about that?  Parents of boys say this to us a lot, but this can be a matter of experience or expectation. Sure, it may feel true in many situations, but not hearing a peep from your boys about anything doesn’t mean that nothing is going on – they may just be less comfortable expressing their emotions and asking for help. Maybe a girl does become more frustrated or unsure about emotional experiences or relationships, but this is entirely normal and healthy. They are often more connected, tapped-in, and caring when it comes to people and life. Not such bad traits, right?  Instead of telling them they are dramatic and oversensitive, let’s learn how to support, soothe, and guide them so they can feel good about their gifts and who they are.  And when it comes to our boys, let’s allow for emotional expression and demonstrate that it’s OK to ask for help. By the way- Todd gets frustrated when other men tell him about all the drama when it comes to raising daughters. The term “drama” carries a negativ

Do you ever feel like you don’t have time to live your passion?  You are not alone. That’s why we invited Chicago musician Gerry O’Keefe to talk with us about living his passion while taking care of work and family business. We discuss how to keep your passion despite the responsibilities we have as a parent, employee, spouse, etc., his new album titled “Whatever Suits You”, Van Halen, David Cassidy, not allowing the negative to penetrate our mindset, and finally The Monkees Be sure to listen in to a “sing-off” between amateur vocalist Todd Adams vs professional vocalist Gerry O’Keefe. Who wins? You decide. If you live in Elmhurst, make sure you see Gerry O’Keefe perform at HB Jones on Saturday, November 9th at 7:30!  It’s a fun and all-ages show. We would love to hear any comments from the show by sending us an email @ comments@zenparentingradio.com You can be sure to hear more by liking our facebook page @ https://www.facebook.com/ZenParenting You can subscribe to Cathy’s blog by going to http://www.ch

Failure is important right? We learn a lot from failure, right? Then why do we try to protect our children from ever failing? We have a discussion between the relationship between failure, confidence, narcissism, self worth, etc. The people who have made the largest impact on our world had significant failures, too. We also discuss families who send their kids to an “athletic boarding school” Is this an effort to give their child the best opportunity to succeed, or is it deeper than that?   Don’t forget to listen in to our bi-monthly podcast called- “Conversations with People We Love” This week we speak with Chicago’s own singer/songwriter Gerry O’Keefe about the delicate balance between following your passion and responsibilities of work/family. We would love to hear any comments from the show by sending us an email @ comments@zenparentingradio.com You can be sure to hear more by liking our facebook page @ https://www.facebook.com/ZenParenting You can subscribe to Cathy’s blog by going to http://www.c

In the Jewish tradition there are two different words that describe fear.  The first is called Pachad- “projected or imagined fear,” or the “fear whose objects are imagined.”  The second is called Yirah- the fear that overcomes us when we suddenly find ourselves in possession of considerably more energy than we are used to.  We discuss the video below from Tara Sophia Mohr describing the differences. We then discuss healthy ways to overcome fear: Analyze your fear Acknowledge it, name it, write it down.  Keep a journal. Define it contours- where did it begin?  What triggers it?  how does it affect you?  What power does it have?  Sometimes it can be healthy, recognize when it’s not. Imagine the outcome you desire. Take control of your fear Baby steps Deliberately encounter it.  you might realize it’s not as bad as you thought.  Be prepared to deal with failure Ride the wave.  If you’re doing something- keep the momentum going.  Don’t give up.  Don’t let others hold you back.  Chang