Zen Parenting Radio

The theme for this week is forgiveness (big and small) and heroes.  Cathy and Todd talk about a  mugger who apologized to his victim on facebook...35 years later. In the spirit of the holiday season they discuss other forms of forgiveness - to ourselves and others. They illustrate this with the story of the two monks. and they also talk a lot about Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer. As we age, our heroes evolve - Todd's hero growing up was Walter Payton, but now he is in awe of others such as Bill Gates, Warren Buffet, and a man named Chuck Feeney. The story about their philanthropic efforts can be found here.  We also discuss Nelson Mandela and Malala. » Read more about the apologetic mugger  here. » Read more about the two monks here. The documentary called The One percent is mentioned in which Jamie Johnson exposes the life of an heir to the Johnson & Johnson fortune. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ELodtbfqBCA We also dedicate the show to the life and memory of Nelson Mandela.  He is honored in part in

We discuss 4 ways to reduce your holiday stress: Dealing with family, How to cope with a case of the “shoulds”, Setting an intention for the holidays, Register for the 8 days of Holiday Calm Virtual Retreat. Todd features the first of four weekly shout outs to a a holiday movie.  This week we feature National Lampoons Christmas Vacation. The Tournament of Bad is in full force as we debate delaying the gratification by listening to holiday music after Thanksgiving – Cathy listens whenever she wants, Todd waits – what do you do? We also play a touching clip that brings Cathy to tears

We talk with Nancy Mullen, social worker, author, pastry chef, and advocate for lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender (LGBT) youth. Nancy worked for several years in the HIV/AIDS field and shifted to her work with LGBT youth in 1998 as the executive director of a small, grassroots agency. She is a sought after public speaker on topics such as LGBT Youth and Adolescent Development and Current Trends in Working with LGBT Youth. She is a blogger and author of Urban Tidepool, a memoir that Nancy describes as “Reminiscent of Lemony Snicket’s “A Series of Unfortunate Events” with a gay twist, a helping of The Glass Castle and a hint of Erma Bombeck.” Cathy’s virtual Holiday Retreat begins on December 9th.  Click the link for more info. We have arranged for a screening of the documentary “Girl Rising” in Lombard.  Click here to purchase your tickets as there going quickly. Todd’s men retreat is March 7th thru March 9th.  Please email @ comments@zenparentingradio.com for details. We would love to hear any commen

What is Thanksgiving about? Being with family or finding the best deal? Many retailers moved Black Friday deals up a day and now people are expected to work on Thanksgiving or they feel the need to shop instead of relax.  We subscribe to not feeding into the frenzy – will you join us? We also discuss a book titled Triumphs of Experience by George Vaillant.  The book is the longest longitudinal study of human development.  Among the surprising findings: people who do well in old age did not necessarily do so well in midlife, and vice versa.  We discuss more from the book and share a clip from the author.  We learn a new idea from the author in which he states that the ability to take love in and metabolize it is the key to a successful life. Other random stuff: The Safety Dance, The Fabulous Thunderbirds, and Todd’s disdain for shopping and receving clothes as gifts. Cathy’s virtual Holiday Retreat begins on December 9th.  Click the link for more info. We have arranged for a screening of the documentar

We were inspired by a 60 Minutes segment about a group of billionaires who took “The Giving Pledge”.  It’s headed up by Bill/Melinda Gates and Warren Buffet, and the only requirement is to give away at least half of your fortune.  Sometimes it’s easy to look at the super rich and say, “Well if I was that rich, I would do the same thing.”  The bottom line is that most people in the U.S. are rich compared to other people around the world.  We must ask ourselves, are we doing everything we can to help others?  The 60 Minutes is below. One of the billionaires is a man named Jeffrey Skoll.  He produces documentaries with the hopes to bring about social change.  This led to a discussion about our own favorite documentaries with a link to the trailers below: Girl Rising- The movie tells the stories of nine girls from nine countries.  Their stories reflect their struggles to overcome societal or cultural barriers. Register to view the “Girl Rising” screening in Lombard IL on January 21st here I Am- In the film,

Conversations With People We Love- We interview a self admitted former bully.  Mark Schultz is a friend and somebody who told Cathy and I that we had to watch the documentary Bullyand then interview him on his experiences as a former bully with the hopes that we can all learn a little bit from his experience.  He shares with us how he became a bully and the unlikely person who showed up to change his ways. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eUy2ZWoStr0 Todd's men retreat is March 7th thru March 9th.  Please email @ comments@zenparentingradio.com for details. We would love to hear any comments from the show by sending us an email @ comments@zenparentingradio.com You can be sure to hear more by liking our facebook page @ https://www.facebook.com/ZenParenting You can subscribe to Cathy’s blog by going to http://www.chicagonow.com/self-aware-parent/ Thank you for listening!!!  

We are talking about bullying…. again, but this time it’s about the adults (Rich Incognito/Jonathan Martin story).  We discuss “man code” and the culture of the NFL, but recognize that many cultures have a “code” that is expected to be kept. It’s easy to direct anger at the an individual, but we are reminded that most bullies were a victims at some point in their lives. We also discuss end of life decisions as a result of a news story from last week.  As Todd ages, he further differentiates the difference between one’s physical body, emotions, and heart.  Are we our body?  This video from Nick Vujicic might help inspire you. Tournament of Bad- Todd takes issue with the new bubble wrap. Finally we answered a question from a listener tring to recapture the closeness with her daughter that is eluding her. Todd’s men retreat is March 7th thru March 9th.  Please email @ comments@zenparentingradio.com for details. We would love to hear any comments from the show by sending us an email @ comments@zenparenting

Are you sure about that?  Parents of boys say this to us a lot, but this can be a matter of experience or expectation. Sure, it may feel true in many situations, but not hearing a peep from your boys about anything doesn’t mean that nothing is going on – they may just be less comfortable expressing their emotions and asking for help. Maybe a girl does become more frustrated or unsure about emotional experiences or relationships, but this is entirely normal and healthy. They are often more connected, tapped-in, and caring when it comes to people and life. Not such bad traits, right?  Instead of telling them they are dramatic and oversensitive, let’s learn how to support, soothe, and guide them so they can feel good about their gifts and who they are.  And when it comes to our boys, let’s allow for emotional expression and demonstrate that it’s OK to ask for help. By the way- Todd gets frustrated when other men tell him about all the drama when it comes to raising daughters. The term “drama” carries a negativ

Do you ever feel like you don’t have time to live your passion?  You are not alone. That’s why we invited Chicago musician Gerry O’Keefe to talk with us about living his passion while taking care of work and family business. We discuss how to keep your passion despite the responsibilities we have as a parent, employee, spouse, etc., his new album titled “Whatever Suits You”, Van Halen, David Cassidy, not allowing the negative to penetrate our mindset, and finally The Monkees Be sure to listen in to a “sing-off” between amateur vocalist Todd Adams vs professional vocalist Gerry O’Keefe. Who wins? You decide. If you live in Elmhurst, make sure you see Gerry O’Keefe perform at HB Jones on Saturday, November 9th at 7:30!  It’s a fun and all-ages show. We would love to hear any comments from the show by sending us an email @ comments@zenparentingradio.com You can be sure to hear more by liking our facebook page @ https://www.facebook.com/ZenParenting You can subscribe to Cathy’s blog by going to http://www.ch

Failure is important right? We learn a lot from failure, right? Then why do we try to protect our children from ever failing? We have a discussion between the relationship between failure, confidence, narcissism, self worth, etc. The people who have made the largest impact on our world had significant failures, too. We also discuss families who send their kids to an “athletic boarding school” Is this an effort to give their child the best opportunity to succeed, or is it deeper than that?   Don’t forget to listen in to our bi-monthly podcast called- “Conversations with People We Love” This week we speak with Chicago’s own singer/songwriter Gerry O’Keefe about the delicate balance between following your passion and responsibilities of work/family. We would love to hear any comments from the show by sending us an email @ comments@zenparentingradio.com You can be sure to hear more by liking our facebook page @ https://www.facebook.com/ZenParenting You can subscribe to Cathy’s blog by going to http://www.c

In the Jewish tradition there are two different words that describe fear.  The first is called Pachad- “projected or imagined fear,” or the “fear whose objects are imagined.”  The second is called Yirah- the fear that overcomes us when we suddenly find ourselves in possession of considerably more energy than we are used to.  We discuss the video below from Tara Sophia Mohr describing the differences. We then discuss healthy ways to overcome fear: Analyze your fear Acknowledge it, name it, write it down.  Keep a journal. Define it contours- where did it begin?  What triggers it?  how does it affect you?  What power does it have?  Sometimes it can be healthy, recognize when it’s not. Imagine the outcome you desire. Take control of your fear Baby steps Deliberately encounter it.  you might realize it’s not as bad as you thought.  Be prepared to deal with failure Ride the wave.  If you’re doing something- keep the momentum going.  Don’t give up.  Don’t let others hold you back.  Chang

Well, you’ve come to the right place. In our very first bi-monthly “Conversations with People we Love”, we talk with Heather Criswell, author of “How to Raise a Happy Child” . Crawl inside the mind of Heather, a noted “kid whisperer”, and see how she discovered (through 25 years and 30,000 children) what works with every child, in every situation, every time. Heather also shares some of her own struggles and she discusses how language can be particularly important when talking with your child, especially around issues such as body image. Heather is an inspiring person that you should know! We would love to hear any comments from the show by sending us an email @ comments@zenparentingradio.com You can be sure to hear more by liking our facebook page @ https://www.facebook.com/ZenParenting You can subscribe to Cathy’s blog by going to http://www.chicagonow.com/self-aware-parent/ Thank you for listening!!!

Science now tells us that if we react to our children's "failures" with compassion instead of criticism, our kids will have a greater likelihood of succeeding. We discuss these ideas and the book Self Compassion by Kristin Neff. We also discuss the different ways men and women measure acts of love.  The good news for the guys is that we use a  point system, the bad news is we haven't been keeping score the right way. We announce the beginning of our bi-monthly installment of ZPR called, “Conversations of People We Love”. Our first show will debut on Friday, October 18th - we will talk with Heather Criswell- author of the book “How To Raise a Happy Child” We also include a few entries into our tournament of bad. We would love to hear any comments from the show by sending us an email @ comments@zenparentingradio.com You can be sure to hear more by liking our facebook page @ https://www.facebook.com/ZenParenting You can subscribe to Cathy’s blog by going to http://www.chicagonow.com/self-aware-parent/ Tha

A listener emailed and said her husband becomes agitated when she discusses personal growth or suggests listening to our podcast. We discuss the importance of honoring where your partner is in this moment (maybe he doesn't want to listen to the podcast), and still speaking up about your own needs (but he can appreciate that you enjoy it). Change can be scary, but it's a necessary and normal part of everyday life. Self awareness is not always about being dissatisfied with yourself or others, it's about recognizing potential and being cognizant of everyday choices.  This allows us to live from a place of peace and contentment. Do you really know what Grand Theft Auto is really about?  Are you aware that you get points for killing, selling drugs, and sleeping with prostitutes? We continue our conversation about the affect these games have on young minds. The insanity of it all is perfectly described in this Saturday Night Live segment. We announce the beginning of our bi-monthly installment of ZPR called, “Co

Do you have a spouse who travels? Are both the exit and reentry a challenge? Do you feel appreciated for what you do while your spouse is away, and does your spouse feel appreciated for the hard work involved in work travel?  We discuss the importance of validation and communication when your partner travels, and why it's important to say what you need. We also discuss the importance of prioritization and how we need to allow our partner to arrive at their own conclusions instead of forcing them to act. Todd recognized how his ego got in the way of a big decision, and he shares why and how he decided to shift. We also discuss the genius of Louis CK as he talks about his kids, technology, and the importance of sadness.  The entire clip can be found here.  We also give some practical advice on how to curb our addiction to our phone, technology, ipad, etc written byAdina Kalish Neufeld. The entire article can be read here. Interested in having Cathy/Todd speak at your school or scout meeting?  Email us @ comm

We discuss the 5 different love languages based on a book by Gary Chapman.  The discussion will help you decide your dominant love language and help you figure out the love language of your children (and spouse!).  This can be the first step toward a deeper and more understanding relationship with your family. Todd also discusses a feel good story about a homeless man named Glen James and what he did to change his own luck. Interested in having Cathy/Todd speak at your school or scout meeting?  Email us @ comments@zenparentingradio.com Reverend Ed Bacon coming to speak @ Dominican University on Thursday, October 3rd Todd is running a Men's Adventure Retreat on March 7th thru 9th.  Email comments@zenparentingradio.com for more information Give us a review on iTunes and receive both of Cathy's books for 1/2 off by sending us an email. We would love to hear any comments from the show by sending us an email @ comments@zenparentingradio.com You can be sure to hear more by liking our facebook page @ https://

We discuss “Rachel’s Challenge”, a presentation for schools that focuses on kindness and self-awareness. This program that has reached over 19,000,000 people.  Each day 160,000 students do not go to school because they are bullied, teased and harassed. By turning the story of a tragic death at Columbine High School into a mission for change, Rachel's Challenge is helping create safer learning environments and making a world-wide impact. Rachel's Challenge is a series of student empowering programs and strategies that equip students and adults to combat bullying and allay feelings of isolation and despair by creating a culture of kindness and compassion. The programs are based on the writings and life of 17 year-old Rachel Scott who was the first student killed at Columbine High School in 1999. Rachel left a legacy of reaching out to those who were different, who were picked on by others, or who were new at her school. Within this discussion we discuss the 5 things we can do right now to become better parent

We discuss a blog  titled The Conversation You Must Have With Your Sons by Carina Kolodny.  One out of five college girls are sexually assaulted.  As parents we do everything we can to help our daughters make smart decisions and stay out of difficult situations. Are we having conversations with our sons about making responsible decisions?  Or does this kind of conversation feel unnecessary or uncomfortable? Cathy fires back at the people who say the lyrics to Robin Thickes' “Blurred Lines” are not that bad. We also play a clip from Dylan Garrity talking proclaiming the similar message in his own words. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_xHp5iTtWRc We address three different questions in the email bag concerning: Talking to other parent who speak a different language A 3-1/2 year old who does not listen A 3 year old son who “fake” cries Reverend Ed Bacon coming to speak @ Dominican University on Thursday, October 3rd Todd is running a Men's Adventure Retreat on March 7th thru 9th.  Email comments@zen

What does it mean to "succeed"?  To us it means self awareness, connection to the whole, and sharing your gifts and talents.  On this show we share a few ways to help your child find greater success. 1)      (6:10) Send them to overnight camp. Benefits- Give your child a sense of independence that is hard to duplicate in their normal day to day lives. It’s a safe setting They can “shed” their old selves and be who they are There is less focus on appearance It’s a place where children can feel grounded They connect with nature Give them a different set of social circles to count on when one is not going well 2)      (17:35) Let your child be sad even when it doesn’t make sense Todd tells a story of Camryn feeling homesick even though Cathy’s blog- The three myths about introverts 3)      (23:20) “Influence” who your child is friends with Decide if a child/group either drain or fills your child up The delicate balance between prohibiting and discouraging certain friendships Underst

We discuss an article in Psychology Today titled What Happy People Do Differently  The Real Rewards of Risk- When anxiety is an optional state A Blind Eye to Life's Vicissitudes- The benefit of seeing the forest but not the trees The Unjealous Friend- We're buoyed by others' good fortune A Time For Everything- The upside of negative emotions The Well-Being Balancing Act- Pleasure and purpose work together Reverend Ed Bacon coming to speak @ Dominican University on Thursday, October 3rd Give us a review on iTunes and receive both of Cathy's books for 1/2 off by sending us an email. We would love to hear any comments from the show by sending us an email @ comments@zenparentingradio.com You can be sure to hear more by liking our facebook page @ https://www.facebook.com/ZenParenting You can subscribe to Cathy’s blog by going to http://www.chicagonow.com/self-aware-parent/ Thank you for listening!!!