Zen Parenting Radio

We are talking about bullying…. again, but this time it’s about the adults (Rich Incognito/Jonathan Martin story).  We discuss “man code” and the culture of the NFL, but recognize that many cultures have a “code” that is expected to be kept. It’s easy to direct anger at the an individual, but we are reminded that most bullies were a victims at some point in their lives. We also discuss end of life decisions as a result of a news story from last week.  As Todd ages, he further differentiates the difference between one’s physical body, emotions, and heart.  Are we our body?  This video from Nick Vujicic might help inspire you. Tournament of Bad- Todd takes issue with the new bubble wrap. Finally we answered a question from a listener tring to recapture the closeness with her daughter that is eluding her. Todd’s men retreat is March 7th thru March 9th.  Please email @ comments@zenparentingradio.com for details. We would love to hear any comments from the show by sending us an email @ comments@zenparenting

Are you sure about that?  Parents of boys say this to us a lot, but this can be a matter of experience or expectation. Sure, it may feel true in many situations, but not hearing a peep from your boys about anything doesn’t mean that nothing is going on – they may just be less comfortable expressing their emotions and asking for help. Maybe a girl does become more frustrated or unsure about emotional experiences or relationships, but this is entirely normal and healthy. They are often more connected, tapped-in, and caring when it comes to people and life. Not such bad traits, right?  Instead of telling them they are dramatic and oversensitive, let’s learn how to support, soothe, and guide them so they can feel good about their gifts and who they are.  And when it comes to our boys, let’s allow for emotional expression and demonstrate that it’s OK to ask for help. By the way- Todd gets frustrated when other men tell him about all the drama when it comes to raising daughters. The term “drama” carries a negativ

Do you ever feel like you don’t have time to live your passion?  You are not alone. That’s why we invited Chicago musician Gerry O’Keefe to talk with us about living his passion while taking care of work and family business. We discuss how to keep your passion despite the responsibilities we have as a parent, employee, spouse, etc., his new album titled “Whatever Suits You”, Van Halen, David Cassidy, not allowing the negative to penetrate our mindset, and finally The Monkees Be sure to listen in to a “sing-off” between amateur vocalist Todd Adams vs professional vocalist Gerry O’Keefe. Who wins? You decide. If you live in Elmhurst, make sure you see Gerry O’Keefe perform at HB Jones on Saturday, November 9th at 7:30!  It’s a fun and all-ages show. We would love to hear any comments from the show by sending us an email @ comments@zenparentingradio.com You can be sure to hear more by liking our facebook page @ https://www.facebook.com/ZenParenting You can subscribe to Cathy’s blog by going to http://www.ch

Failure is important right? We learn a lot from failure, right? Then why do we try to protect our children from ever failing? We have a discussion between the relationship between failure, confidence, narcissism, self worth, etc. The people who have made the largest impact on our world had significant failures, too. We also discuss families who send their kids to an “athletic boarding school” Is this an effort to give their child the best opportunity to succeed, or is it deeper than that?   Don’t forget to listen in to our bi-monthly podcast called- “Conversations with People We Love” This week we speak with Chicago’s own singer/songwriter Gerry O’Keefe about the delicate balance between following your passion and responsibilities of work/family. We would love to hear any comments from the show by sending us an email @ comments@zenparentingradio.com You can be sure to hear more by liking our facebook page @ https://www.facebook.com/ZenParenting You can subscribe to Cathy’s blog by going to http://www.c

In the Jewish tradition there are two different words that describe fear.  The first is called Pachad- “projected or imagined fear,” or the “fear whose objects are imagined.”  The second is called Yirah- the fear that overcomes us when we suddenly find ourselves in possession of considerably more energy than we are used to.  We discuss the video below from Tara Sophia Mohr describing the differences. We then discuss healthy ways to overcome fear: Analyze your fear Acknowledge it, name it, write it down.  Keep a journal. Define it contours- where did it begin?  What triggers it?  how does it affect you?  What power does it have?  Sometimes it can be healthy, recognize when it’s not. Imagine the outcome you desire. Take control of your fear Baby steps Deliberately encounter it.  you might realize it’s not as bad as you thought.  Be prepared to deal with failure Ride the wave.  If you’re doing something- keep the momentum going.  Don’t give up.  Don’t let others hold you back.  Chang

Well, you’ve come to the right place. In our very first bi-monthly “Conversations with People we Love”, we talk with Heather Criswell, author of “How to Raise a Happy Child” . Crawl inside the mind of Heather, a noted “kid whisperer”, and see how she discovered (through 25 years and 30,000 children) what works with every child, in every situation, every time. Heather also shares some of her own struggles and she discusses how language can be particularly important when talking with your child, especially around issues such as body image. Heather is an inspiring person that you should know! We would love to hear any comments from the show by sending us an email @ comments@zenparentingradio.com You can be sure to hear more by liking our facebook page @ https://www.facebook.com/ZenParenting You can subscribe to Cathy’s blog by going to http://www.chicagonow.com/self-aware-parent/ Thank you for listening!!!

Science now tells us that if we react to our children's "failures" with compassion instead of criticism, our kids will have a greater likelihood of succeeding. We discuss these ideas and the book Self Compassion by Kristin Neff. We also discuss the different ways men and women measure acts of love.  The good news for the guys is that we use a  point system, the bad news is we haven't been keeping score the right way. We announce the beginning of our bi-monthly installment of ZPR called, “Conversations of People We Love”. Our first show will debut on Friday, October 18th - we will talk with Heather Criswell- author of the book “How To Raise a Happy Child” We also include a few entries into our tournament of bad. We would love to hear any comments from the show by sending us an email @ comments@zenparentingradio.com You can be sure to hear more by liking our facebook page @ https://www.facebook.com/ZenParenting You can subscribe to Cathy’s blog by going to http://www.chicagonow.com/self-aware-parent/ Tha

A listener emailed and said her husband becomes agitated when she discusses personal growth or suggests listening to our podcast. We discuss the importance of honoring where your partner is in this moment (maybe he doesn't want to listen to the podcast), and still speaking up about your own needs (but he can appreciate that you enjoy it). Change can be scary, but it's a necessary and normal part of everyday life. Self awareness is not always about being dissatisfied with yourself or others, it's about recognizing potential and being cognizant of everyday choices.  This allows us to live from a place of peace and contentment. Do you really know what Grand Theft Auto is really about?  Are you aware that you get points for killing, selling drugs, and sleeping with prostitutes? We continue our conversation about the affect these games have on young minds. The insanity of it all is perfectly described in this Saturday Night Live segment. We announce the beginning of our bi-monthly installment of ZPR called, “Co

Do you have a spouse who travels? Are both the exit and reentry a challenge? Do you feel appreciated for what you do while your spouse is away, and does your spouse feel appreciated for the hard work involved in work travel?  We discuss the importance of validation and communication when your partner travels, and why it's important to say what you need. We also discuss the importance of prioritization and how we need to allow our partner to arrive at their own conclusions instead of forcing them to act. Todd recognized how his ego got in the way of a big decision, and he shares why and how he decided to shift. We also discuss the genius of Louis CK as he talks about his kids, technology, and the importance of sadness.  The entire clip can be found here.  We also give some practical advice on how to curb our addiction to our phone, technology, ipad, etc written byAdina Kalish Neufeld. The entire article can be read here. Interested in having Cathy/Todd speak at your school or scout meeting?  Email us @ comm

We discuss the 5 different love languages based on a book by Gary Chapman.  The discussion will help you decide your dominant love language and help you figure out the love language of your children (and spouse!).  This can be the first step toward a deeper and more understanding relationship with your family. Todd also discusses a feel good story about a homeless man named Glen James and what he did to change his own luck. Interested in having Cathy/Todd speak at your school or scout meeting?  Email us @ comments@zenparentingradio.com Reverend Ed Bacon coming to speak @ Dominican University on Thursday, October 3rd Todd is running a Men's Adventure Retreat on March 7th thru 9th.  Email comments@zenparentingradio.com for more information Give us a review on iTunes and receive both of Cathy's books for 1/2 off by sending us an email. We would love to hear any comments from the show by sending us an email @ comments@zenparentingradio.com You can be sure to hear more by liking our facebook page @ https://

We discuss “Rachel’s Challenge”, a presentation for schools that focuses on kindness and self-awareness. This program that has reached over 19,000,000 people.  Each day 160,000 students do not go to school because they are bullied, teased and harassed. By turning the story of a tragic death at Columbine High School into a mission for change, Rachel's Challenge is helping create safer learning environments and making a world-wide impact. Rachel's Challenge is a series of student empowering programs and strategies that equip students and adults to combat bullying and allay feelings of isolation and despair by creating a culture of kindness and compassion. The programs are based on the writings and life of 17 year-old Rachel Scott who was the first student killed at Columbine High School in 1999. Rachel left a legacy of reaching out to those who were different, who were picked on by others, or who were new at her school. Within this discussion we discuss the 5 things we can do right now to become better parent

We discuss a blog  titled The Conversation You Must Have With Your Sons by Carina Kolodny.  One out of five college girls are sexually assaulted.  As parents we do everything we can to help our daughters make smart decisions and stay out of difficult situations. Are we having conversations with our sons about making responsible decisions?  Or does this kind of conversation feel unnecessary or uncomfortable? Cathy fires back at the people who say the lyrics to Robin Thickes' “Blurred Lines” are not that bad. We also play a clip from Dylan Garrity talking proclaiming the similar message in his own words. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_xHp5iTtWRc We address three different questions in the email bag concerning: Talking to other parent who speak a different language A 3-1/2 year old who does not listen A 3 year old son who “fake” cries Reverend Ed Bacon coming to speak @ Dominican University on Thursday, October 3rd Todd is running a Men's Adventure Retreat on March 7th thru 9th.  Email comments@zen

What does it mean to "succeed"?  To us it means self awareness, connection to the whole, and sharing your gifts and talents.  On this show we share a few ways to help your child find greater success. 1)      (6:10) Send them to overnight camp. Benefits- Give your child a sense of independence that is hard to duplicate in their normal day to day lives. It’s a safe setting They can “shed” their old selves and be who they are There is less focus on appearance It’s a place where children can feel grounded They connect with nature Give them a different set of social circles to count on when one is not going well 2)      (17:35) Let your child be sad even when it doesn’t make sense Todd tells a story of Camryn feeling homesick even though Cathy’s blog- The three myths about introverts 3)      (23:20) “Influence” who your child is friends with Decide if a child/group either drain or fills your child up The delicate balance between prohibiting and discouraging certain friendships Underst

We discuss an article in Psychology Today titled What Happy People Do Differently  The Real Rewards of Risk- When anxiety is an optional state A Blind Eye to Life's Vicissitudes- The benefit of seeing the forest but not the trees The Unjealous Friend- We're buoyed by others' good fortune A Time For Everything- The upside of negative emotions The Well-Being Balancing Act- Pleasure and purpose work together Reverend Ed Bacon coming to speak @ Dominican University on Thursday, October 3rd Give us a review on iTunes and receive both of Cathy's books for 1/2 off by sending us an email. We would love to hear any comments from the show by sending us an email @ comments@zenparentingradio.com You can be sure to hear more by liking our facebook page @ https://www.facebook.com/ZenParenting You can subscribe to Cathy’s blog by going to http://www.chicagonow.com/self-aware-parent/ Thank you for listening!!!

8 things to help deal with back to school anxiety Why Ashton Kutcher’s stock skyrocketed for Todd One man’s message to his daughter- “I hope you have great sex” 4:27 Anxiety is normal.  Sometimes parents tell their kids not to feel anxious. Listen Ask questions Be engaged Own your role in the situation Know you’re not alone It gets easier Advocate for your child in dealing with “inschool” sadness Ask for support for teacher 12:16 Chidren’s disappointment with classroom assignments. Todd balances understanding their disappointment with the privileges that our daughters enjoy. Girl Rising Documentary http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BJsvklXhYaE 17:58 Ashton Kutcher gives an amazing speech @ the Teen Choice Awards Opportunity looks a lot like hard work Being Sexy Build a life, don’t live one http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FNXwKGZHmDc 26:00 Different definitions of smart Einstein quote- Everybody is a genius. But, if you judge a fish by its ability to climb a tree, it’ll spend its

3 things every parent should know, Hunger Games Camp, & what Taylor Swift can teach our kids

We discuss how feeling "bad", whether it's emotional or physical, is actually not so bad. Should grief be a diagnosable disorder or is it normal human emotion? Movie quotes from Airplane, Talladega Nights, and Billy Madison Talking about patience as a virtue and Todd Todd sings "Patience" (G n Roses a cappella) Time Stamp .30 Looking at your kids illness differently 1:58 11 Things I wish every parent knew by Stephen Cowan 2:24 A symptom is the body's way of letting us know something has to change 9:30 The craziness of the temperature fluctuations of a pregnant woman 12:45 The gift of pain 15:30 Grief is a diagnosable disorder? 18:00 Free Parenting presentation on Monday, August 12th 21:10 Be Prepared and put your children in a position to succeed 24:15 Our daughters like to impersonate Cathy- our kids are absorbing everything (positive and negative) that's going on around them 26:26 Anger is a second tier emotion 28:36 Gary Zukav interpretation on anger 31:53 Be prepared and be patient with yo

Brene Brown's definition of Critical Awareness and dealing with our constant need to be productive. Time Stamp 2:20 Critical awareness 4:08 Body Image 10:03 Todd's no shower story 15:15 Categorize and differentiating children's fears 19:10 Addicted to productivity 28:38 Debate on different definitions of meditation 33:03 #4 & #5- from Things I wish every parent knew 39:30 Kids are your your spiritual teachers 45:04 Tournament of Bad Give us a review on iTunes and receive both of Cathy's books for 1/2 off by sending us an email. Upcoming FREE class at The Dailey Method, Elmhurst - Getting Ready for Junior High (for parents with kids 9 or older) We would love to hear any comments from the show by sending us an email @ comments@zenparentingradio.com   You can be sure to hear more by liking our facebook page @ https://www.facebook.com/ZenParenting   You can subscribe to Cathy’s blog by going to http://www.chicagonow.com/self-aware-parent/   Thank you for listening!!!  

Topics: We discuss the problems with society's version of  masculinity vs. the hopes we have  for our sons. We also discuss a few of the 11 things one doctor wished every parent knew. The Mask You Live In Trailer 11 Things I wish Every Parent Knew Time Stamp: 1:05 Redefining Masculinity 2:38 Be U- Helping Children Become Emotionally Intelligent Leaders 5:15 Clip #1 from The Mask You Live In- society’s stereo-types of what it means to “be a man” 9:26 Clip #2 from The Mask You Live In- Statement from man who is in touch with his emotions 17:40 Ted talk clip 19:30 Clip #3 from The Mask You Live In- The word “Love” is not used in the household 24:26 11 Things I wish Every Parent Knew by Dr. Stephen Cowan 27:15  Growth and development are not a race. 30:28 Creating family traditions encourages strong roots and a healthy life. 35:00 We grow in cycles 38:12 The Cabin in the Woods Review 43:52 Link to get books for ½ off 45:08 Recap on “Be U” 45:47 Tournament of Bad Links Miss Representation Docu

The Science of happiness, fathers who expect more from their sons, and using medical marijuana for sick kids