Not For Nothin'

This is the only time we'll try to mention Stranger Things on this pod. But honestly how has no-one tried to write an article describing or comparing how NBA Free Agency is like a season of Stranger Things? Although I'm sure The Ringer will have one up soon now... you're welcome? Obviously these two guys do talk about the latest crazy of free agency, reignite the dream of OKC back to Seattle (without Chris Paul of course) and then celebrate the dawn of robot...er, electronic umpires in baseball. Thank god for the Atlantic League. There's also a documentary recommendation from Chris that I'm sure Kris will never remember to watch.

This isn't really an emergency post-free agent frenzy podcast, but more a celebration of all things that are great with America right now in honor of this nations birthday. Things like, NBA free agency, Women's World Cup Soccer team, gambling in Pittsburgh with your interns and finding heroin on Cape Cod because your spending time with the in-laws. That really sums up the the whole show, so light up those sparklers, roman candles and snakes... and have the burn cream near by. U-S-A, U-S-A, U-S-A!

The real NBA season is about to start - Free Agency. So what better way for Heckle & Jeckle to crow on about it, than to bring in the only professional they know (and someone who actually knows what he's talking about), Mike Vorkunov of The Athletic. Not sure why he agreed to come back to the podcast (Chris must have some compromising pictures), but he agrees partake in a mini version of the Knicks lament, helps Chris through a little Sixers therapy session, before finally deciding that nobody knows what the hell is going to happen and we're all okay with it. Happy Independence day everyone! It might just be our last one ever (dun-dun-duuuuuun)...

The boys begin their long-distance relationship and hopefully they can make it work and not cheat on each other. While regaling us all with his first Pittsburgh story, Chris reveals he's already found a new drinking buddy...what a whore. They end up actually talking baseball as well. What the hell is going on with these two? In the end they go back to their first love, reviewing the NBA Draft. It feels like these two are spooning while talking about it right?

They start off hot and argue too many of the little plays NBA Finals game 5. Chris sees a conspiracy and thinks Kris is blinded by his love of the refs and the Raptors... Is dinophile a real thing? They do some bad gambling advice on the Finals, women's world cup, and the NHL. Chris does a bad Tony Dungy impression, gives a shout out to the passing of Dr. John for some reason, wonder what the hell is going on with this story of David Ortiz, appreciates the Swin Cash hiring in NOLA. They finish it up realizing they need to to follow up stories more.

Why talk about sports when you can debate the importance of Van Morrison, and wonder truthfully if his music is really any good. Spoiler alert, these two don't think so. They eventually move on to NBA Finals and why everyone(?) jumped off the Warriors bandwagon after the first game. They wrap things up with a little gambling and some WNBA talk. Apparently that's where the money is. Oh and Drake is the Van Morrison of the NBA Finals.

This is an Not For Nothin' After Dark episode. However it's not very sexy, and might make you sleepy. Speaking of which... let's talk about Drake. It's the only downside of the Raptors making the Finals. But they make the best of it and move forward talking NBA Finals and NBA Draft prospects. They even breakdown NBA media coverage. this is getting naughty. After that, their pillow talk is sexy accents from around the country. Try to keep it in your pants.

They boys, surprisingly, recap the NBA Draft Lottery and try to fix it, like they do everything else. They also get into some bad gambling ideas. Chris leans heavily in to golf betting, while Kris goes off the deep end, trying to figure out betting on Game of Thrones. They manage to find their way back out and talk Sixers & NBA Conference Finals.

This ones full of helium. No seriously they boys tackle the world helium crisis. spoiler alert... they don't solve it. But they may have fund out the truth why there is one. Other than that, it's 90's urban movie genre (is that what is called?), and a few call backs to previous show topics for Chris (little surprised he can actually remember what he's said), and might as well end it with some bad gambling and NBA Playoff talk. It's been a long week and Chris hasn't had drink in five days.

If you're big fans of the Kentucky Derby, this episode is not for you. Just don't listen. But also because it feels like these two are just half-assing it. But as far as Kris is concerned you can take your big hats, douchey blue blazers, fake-ass rich wannabes and your mint juleps and shove it all up your... well not the juleps, those are actually delicious. Eventually they talk about real sports, the NBA playoffs and thing pick up a bit, so what the hell, go ahead and still give this a listen.

Now maybe I didn't mean to treat you bad But I did it anyway And now maybe Some would say your life was sad But you lived it anyway And so maybe...

Ep. 136 Not For Nothin' But This Ones a Sh*t Show by Kris and Chris

The NBA Playoffs started and the guys don't have a show up? That calls for an emergency show, even if it is Palm Sunday. Even if it's is the final round of The Masters (on CBS)... and even if Tiger Woods is about to win it for the fifth time. They don't care about any of that - It's all NBA playoff talk. No exceptions... well, except for that tangent about cell phone battery sharing... oh, and well, Chris just not letting go of the NCAA Championship game, even though that's a week old. But to make up for for this, they take the ladies out to Eataly for a nice brunch. Bellissimo!

Here's something to hang your hat on - outlasting the AAF and the USFL. That's how good this podcast is. But the boys are sad about the demise of this new football league, even though Chris compares it to the Fyre Festival. He's not wrong. Chris runs through his Philly sports impressions, while getting butt-hurt about Kris not having a favorite Rocky movie. They skirt around not making Final Four predictions. Then it's time to givet their gambling advice for the week. Honestly, it's not bad this time, at least consider it, that's all their asking for. Then it's a bunch of crap from here on out. It's a real slow week and it's a Friday and whatever else excuse they can use to make it a short show. Which is for the best.

If you're into breaking down the Sixers-Celtics game and rivalry by incorporating body-swap movies, you're listening to the right podcast. They also actually came up with a good twist on the same old story. It's good right? They get into more NBA talk and recycle some old arguments about Brook Lopez. Chris gets his 5 good minutes of AAF talk. Then it's all tourney talk - Chris toots his own horn on his Fairleigh Dickinson wagon, they pick some other teams, then realize the new strategy for filling out brackets are what teams to pick for the second bracket you fill out. Zig, when others Zag... get it?

Because they're men, they know how to make something out of nothing and talk about nothing for almost an hour. Chris tries out his Bill Maher impression, then discuss the ability to make any 80's movie today? After that I think they just start talking sports, so don't really bother. But if you really want to know, they get into the beginning of the end of the Giants & the Steelers, talk a little bad gambling, and then what their going to talk about next week. Now that is interesting. MEN!

What better way to turn your clocks forward this weekend, than with a show full of hot takes! Chris just fires them off one after another, this show is so jammed-packed with hot takes, your ears will definitely bleed! Witten, LeBron, Celtics... No one is safe... except Bryce Harper since he's on the Phillies now. Either that or Chris just forgot about him with all the other excitement going on. Plus its baseball, so who really cares. Get 'em Chris.

It's finally here! We know it's what you all (you're out there right?) have been waiting for... It's our annual Knicks lament. It doesn't happen at the same time ever, but it does happen when it's supposed to. Of course they ease their way into the show by talking Kraft.... no need for puns. Just for the hell of it, let's throw a little Giants, Yankees and Jeter in there for good measure.

Nothing like coming back from vacation and talking about terrible Fleetwood Mac concerts and quaint artist communities. After recapping each others super exciting weekends, they somehow segue into NBA talk and the mess surrounding The Brow and how the NBA should handle this. Chris gives his tips for betting the NCAA Tournament as Kris runs down a pathetic potential Basketball Hall of Fame class. Then they run down Chris's six team NBA parlay for Thursday night to finish off the show. Okay seriously, next week is definitely their Knicks episode...definitely...I'm pretty sure...I think.