Thomas And The Bible

This book is so boring it’s not worth even summarizing. Please accept this summary of an old Matlock episode instead: “Matlock travels to New York City to help Alex Winthrop represent a British Ambassador accused of murdering his lover’s husband. The ambassador could invoke diplomatic immunity, but would lose his diplomatic career. The trail leads … Continue reading Jeremiah 27-30 →

Harley’s back with a kick ass intro! And today we learn that we’re 36 episodes away from the New Testament. That’s a crapload of episodes!! Also I made some weird song observations and connections because there wasn’t anything in the reading to talk about at all.

I’m not sure how much longer I can type the same exact description for every episode…  Well, I guess I am sure. It will be about as long as the episodes are exactly the same because this book sucks.  I really can’t wait to get to all the Jesus stuff.

Is there anything I can really say at this point? Is there a single word I can type on here that I haven’t typed a million times? More boring prophecy. More “Hey, god told me a bunch of stuff, let me rattle it off to you.”

Praise the lord for THE WORD. I have some computer problems but they all melt away when I read THE WORD. Like that ray of sunlight that trickles through your morning window, so is THE WORD of our Lord. Praise him.

Death threat 1: scary. Death threat 9,875: not as scary. God continues to promise death over and over and eventually it loses its luster. Just kill us already, ok?

Jeremiah was a bullfrog, and a minor prophet. I’ve got bad news and bad news: we’re starting a new book, and this book is just as shitty as all the other ones. Good thing I’m here to get you through it!

This episode asks an important question: Was Moses totally jacked? I mean, he was definitely ripped, but was he torn? I know his bi’s and tri’s were totally buff, but were they glorious? That’s really the question. I won’t say definitely no, but I’m not sure I’d say yes exactly. Hard to say. Tough questions.

God I’m so sick of this stupid book. Isaiah, I mean. I’m sure the next one will be better. For 2 paragraphs and then it will be totally terrible.

Well I got good news and bad news. Bad news is we’re still in Isaiah. Good news is, I’m here to help you through the pain! More nothing happens, and then there’s some nothing and then some more nothing. But other than that, tons of stuff!

It’s the bible, it’s Isaiah, and it’s boring. Hopefully we will some day finish this terrible book and move on with our lives. Nah, never going to happen.

God is so pathetic…  Find out why with some more boring Isaiah!!

Episode 150!!! What did you bring for my celebratory potluck? Oh… nothing?  Oh, ok. Well.. did you bring like plastic silverware or something?  Oh I see…  So there isn’t a celebratory potluck is there….

I wish I could think of something different to say here…. It’s more of the same. But I OVERCAME and made some more great jokes. I’m loving this show, it’s fun again thanks to my Patrons! What? How do you become one of those amazing, show-enabling, inspirational people? By jumping onto http://www.patreon.com/tandtheb of course!

Some more hilariously boring prophecies! I had some fun with this one despite it being still incredibly repetitive and boring. Thomas to the rescue!

Well this week we have some more prophesying and guess what guys, it’s not exactly favorable. That’s right! Bad things are going to happen to all the heathens of Egypt, Moab, and some other places you’ve never heard of! So cancel that vacation! That’s all that happens in this reading really but it’s still HILARIOUS … Continue reading Isaiah 16-22 →

More boring Isaiah… but don’t worry! It’s Thomas to the rescue, with his C+ sense of humor, to ease you all through the pain of the bible!

More boring old Isaiah. One semi-notable thing though is that we hear a little prophecy about Immanuel, who people believe is Jesus. He will be born of god essentially, and all the good things will happen to the Jews. Doesn’t really seem like Jesus fits that description though, does it? Also, as Bart Ehrman and … Continue reading Isaiah 4-9 →

Well we’re done making sweet, sweet love to the Song of Songs, but don’t worry! We’ve got some more boring Israelite condemnation! They’re such sinners, aren’t they? They’d better get some fire and brimstone.

The bible gets sexy with the song of songs! You’ll feel it in your holiest of holies.