Thomas And The Bible

More of this Jesus character. I guess he’s some sort of recurring role in this series.

It’s Jesus and the Terrible Parables! ™ This episode was lots of fun! Sorry it was two days late, but I really think I made up for it with a little help from my friends over at New Testament headquarters. It definitely gives me material!

This is episode 200!!! It was a nice, fun, new testamental experience! Jesus is pretty full of himself if you ask me.

It’s the second installment of the New Testament! Fun fun fun!

New Testament!!!! There’s this new character who is super awesome and really fun to read about. That’s right, Joseph! What a guy!

This is the blank episode we’ve all been waiting for! Tune in to find out what I decided to do for this. Hint**** it may involve a bit of alcohol…

We are DONE with the Old Testament, after you listen to this.. Unbelievable. It took 5 years and 2 months and a few days. It’s hard to believe how much time has gone by since I started this thing.

We’re exactly 75% done with the bible! So crazy! And guess what, STILL NOTHING INTERESTING HAPPENS!!! But that’s ok, I’m here to help.

Hey this was a pretty fun minor prophet actually! I mean nothing new happened but I totally made some jokes and stuff.

Here’s some more total crap that is complete filler until the New Testament! I think people must have just been stalling waiting around for that prodigal son who was taking his sweet ass time.

Sure. These are real books. Right. Absolutely.

Micah Micah Micah! Today we read from the prophet of Sauron, war be upon him.

Guys it’s not a whale, it’s a great fish. THERE’S A DIFFERENCE. I’m really not sure what difference that makes… But join me for another not worth reading selection of the bible, where we get an absurd story about a super lazy dude who doesn’t want to run errands for god!

Look I’m not going to lie, this reading sucked. Almost nothing interesting happened and there wasn’t even a Harley intro… But I did my best! We must toil on in this drudgery!

Famos Amos! Turns out he’s famous for packing in the most annoyance per capita in the bible. Well, to be honest, probably not. But he puts up a good effort.

Well what can I say, more minor prophets. We’d be better off with MINER prophets, AM I RIGHT HAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAAHAH. No but really it’s the minor prophets. Nothing happens.

New book! Oh my god I’m so excited! Don’t get too excited though, it actually sucks. Who could have guessed! We have 12 minor prophets until the new testament. We’re already almost done with one! Excitement.

13 episodes until the next episode! We’re finishing Daniel today. YAY!! This book wasn’t bad really. But not bad compared to like REALLY bad books. So compared to anything good it was awful.

Heh heh, 6-9…. Anyway, some interesting prophecies told through meaningless animal interactions and anatomy. Kind of a bizarre method of prophecy if you ask me. Also, married dude.

We continue with the book of Daniel. Pretty interesting. A little repetitive, but at least there’s a story now. Thanks for listening and patronizing the show at http://www.patreon.com/tandtheb !