Eft/tapping Q & A Podcast W/ Gene Monterastelli - Emotional Freedom Techniques

The basics of tapping are so simple that they can be taught in mere minutes. But just because tapping is simple, doesn’t mean that effective tapping is easy. There is so much more to it than knowing the tapping points. In this short audio I explain three simple ideas to keep in mind before you tap to help you to get the most out of your tapping sessions. Each of the three ideas comes with a short tap-along to help you execute them. I would love to hear how this works for you. Let me know your results down in the comment section. You can find the full tapping script as a pdf of this audio over at Tapping Q and A Podcast Scripts and Transcripts. Support the podcast! Subscribe in: Apple | iPhone | Android | Google | Spotify | Pandora  

It is great that we have people in our lives who want to be helpful. They are willing to offer their time, attention and advice to make our lives better. The problem is that just because someone wants to be helpful, doesn't mean that they are actually helpful – and sometimes they even make a situation worse! I call this type of help "well-meaning incompetence". Their heart is in the right place, but their advice or action doesn't actually do us any good. You can find the full tapping script of this audio as a pdf over at Tapping Q and A Podcast Scripts and Transcripts. Support the podcast! Subscribe in: Apple | iPhone | Android | Google | Spotify | Pandora  

It is difficult for us to see the people we love suffer but often we don’t consider the consequences when we rush in to help. Our need to bring peace and comfort can override all other thoughts and considerations. This is not always the healthiest choice for us in the short and/or long term. Sometimes when we choose to help we do so by taking on the burdens of our loved ones. Many times we can carry these burdens for years without realizing, or we take on burdens when we are very young and do not remember choosing to do so. When the burdens of others have been a part of our lives for so long they feel like they are a part of us and we don’t realize that they can be released. Taking on someone else’s burden is an act of love motivated by wanting someone’s life to be better. But there is an even higher act of love which is to release the burden we have taken on, bringing freedom to ourselves and to others. In this brief audio you will hear me leading a client through a demonstration of how we can use Emotional

The idea of quitting comes with a lot of cultural baggage. Quitting is often seen as failure, or giving up, or as a sign of weakness. I'm sure you have heard the old chestnut, "Winners never quit and quitters never win." Don't get me wrong. It is a good thing to live up to commitments and take responsibility for the outcome of our choices, but at the same time, so is quitting the activities that are not producing positive outcomes. It is good for us to let go of the tasks, plans, relationships, and activities that no longer serve who we are and who we want to be. This week I have a tap-along audio that will help you to be comfortable with quitting the parts of your life that no longer serve you. This is one you might need to tap on more than once. You can find the full tapping script as a pdf of this audio over at Tapping Q and A Podcast Scripts and Transcripts. Support the podcast! Subscribe in: Apple | iPhone | Android | Google | Spotify | Pandora  

This is a technique that I developed from some of the resources from Quantum Techniques. I use this with many of my clients at the end of sessions, especially when we have done powerful work. This is also a great way to relax at any time, but is particularly good for the end of the day or right before bedtime. The technique takes less than three minutes and it’s so easy to master that you only need to listen to it once. The interesting thing is how effective this tool is and it doesn't even require you to tap at all. Support the podcast! Subscribe in: Apple | iPhone | Android | Google | Spotify | Pandora  

If you have been following me of any length of time online, then you know how much I love goal setting. I find that goals are useful in clarifying what we want, helping us to create an actionable plan, and give us the tools to evaluate our progress. At the same time, having a clear idea of what we want can actually become a problem when we turn success into an all-or-nothing proposition. When we make our goals all or nothing, anything less than perfection will feel like a failure. For example, let's consider a painful knee that hurts at the level of a 7 on a 0 to 10 scale. If my all-or-nothing goal is to be completely pain free, even a reduction in the pain to a 2 will leave me feeling dissatisfied. This causes two problems in the moment. First, we aren't able to appreciate the progress we have made. Second, we are much less likely to take action again in the future because we are unlikely to attempt tasks at which we "failed" in the past. This week I have a simple tap-along audio to help you celebrate the su

While on retreat a number years ago Russ Hudson said, “We must be in touch with the mind, body, and spirit in order to be candidates for transformation.” Because of the nature of the modern world we have lost touch with our physical bodies. Most of us are not working the land, in tune with the seasons, or using our bodies for work. Just watch someone who is on-line. It looks as if they have left their bodies. It is very easy (and healthy) to reconnect with our physical bodies. This simple little tap-along will help you to reconnect to your body and feel more grounded inside your body. It takes less than 4 minutes to do and is the prefect tap-along to start your day. After you do it a few times you are going to be able to repeat the process without having to listen to the audio again. Support the podcast! Subscribe in: Apple | iPhone | Android | Google | Spotify | Pandora  

Support the podcast! Human beings are social creatures. That means that in order to thrive, we need to do more than just interact with others, we need to work together, whether collaboratively in a professional context, or by sharing enjoyable activities in our social lives. Whenever we ask someone to do something with or for us, we risk being turned down. That may seem obvious, but there is a deeper issue at play because on a subconscious level, a rejection may be read as a rejection of us and who we are. Even though this isn't the case, if we are struggling with that emotion, we are unlikely to take the action that we want to take. When we don't ask to connect and work with others, we miss opportunities and our lives aren't as rich. This week I have for you a simple tap-along (tapping script below) to help you to know it is safe to ask others, even if they might say no. Subscribe in: Apple | iPhone | Android | Google | Spotify | Pandora

Support the podcast! I am a huge proponent of goal setting. Having clearly defined goals is helpful in two ways. First, it helps to define the actions we need to take to achieve them. Second, it gives us a measuring stick with which to evaluate our efforts along the way and after the fact. Without having set goals I wouldn’t be as happy and successful as I am. I love goal setting so much that I created an entire web site dedicated to working toward your goals. But there is a problem with goals: they create expectations. Expectations aren't the problem, but they can create a false dichotomy. On a subconscious level we may believe that either we achieve our goals as written OR we have failed, with nothing in between. Failing to recognize our progress can demotivate us. In this short audio and tap-along I talk about how you can avoid the feeling of all or nothing that setting goals can create. (As always, the full tapping script can be found below the audio player.) If you are interested in a systematic way of u

Support the podcast! With some issues measuring our success is a simple task. For example, after going to the gym four times a week for a few months I can measure how much stronger I am by how much weight I can now lift compared with when I started. But not all types of transformation are as easy to track, particularly for issues and responses that are incrementally changing over time. For example, how could you measure more confidence or less anger? In this conversation Mary Ayers and I talk about how we can measure our progress through the lenses of three different characteristics of the issue that are all measurable. If you are tapping on an issue over the course of multiple tapping sessions, then understanding this is a must. First, it will help you to understand what is working so that you can continue to do it. Second, it will identify the areas where you need to try a different approach. Finally, seeing the progress that is often missed will help you to gain momentum in your transformational work. Subs

Support the podcast! We often treat our bodies as if they are the enemy and the journey towards better health as a battle. We can feel betrayed by our bodies, and feel hopeless and frustrated by our slow or lack of progress. But our bodies are not our enemy. In reality, our bodies are doing what they can to be healthy and there are simply unseen obstacles to the healing process Once we recognize that we are not separate from our bodies, and that they are trying to function in an optimal way, it becomes easier to work towards better health and well being. Recently I was working with a client on returning to a healthier body after backsliding (again). After a great session he asked if we could spend some time on helping him to believe that progress was possible and to reconnect with his body. When we had finished the session he said, “You should write that down so others can use it.” When I told him that I could share the recording if I had his permission, he insisted I did, so here it is. Subscribe in: Apple

Support the podcast! It is amazing how much stock we put in other people's opinion of who we are and how we are supposed to be in the world. Recently I was introduced to the quote "I'm not who I think I am. I not who you think I am. I am who I think you think I am." [Note: Unfortunately the source of this quote is not clear, or I would provide it. It is variously credited to Charles Horton Cooley, Thomas Cooley, and Dennis Cooley.] The gist of the quote is that we often find ourselves trying to live up to an imagined standard that we think other people have for us. This is a surefire recipe for self-sabotage! Either we will be trying to do what we want to do and trying to do what we think others want us to do. This has us taking action in multiple and often conflicting ways, which results in little to no progress. OR we take no action at all because we are caught between our own desires and the perceived desires of others. In this week's podcast I provide two ways to remedy this situation. First, I have a sim

Support the podcast! The human experience can be full of complications and conflicts. My clients often say things like "I am of two minds" or "My head is telling me one thing but my heart is telling me something else." It's difficult to move forward if we feel we are being pulled in multiple directions! To help navigate this, I have created what I call the Grounding Process. It is designed to move you from feeling scattered to being fully grounded by connecting your mind, heart, and physical body to your higher self. This is one of my favorite processes and I teach it in my advanced classes as an example of both guided imagery and parts work. I do this process myself at least once a week. The first time I did it I was amazed at the information my system gave me. A number of years ago Jessica Ortner of the Tapping Insiders Club interviewed me about the process. We then did the process together, so that you can tap right along with it. [Note: In an effort to make the Tapping Q & A Podcast archive easier to

Support the podcast! Music can be so powerful at setting our mood. So much so that experiments have shown that music can dictate our interpretation of events where images are accompanied by different kinds of music. For example, grave images with whimsical music were seen as humorous, and sad pictures with silly music were perceived as funny. We have a special connection to music in our teenage years for a number of reasons: It's usually the time in our lives in which we listen to music the most Teenagers are often most engaged in seeking out and listening to new music We experience the most emotional change in our teenage years (see podcast 373 on the adolescent brain) Hearing a song from your teenage years can instantly put you back in that time. It is more than a fleeting feeling of nostalgia, it's like you have been transported back in time. The strength of that connection means that music can be a great tool for clearing issues from the past that we are still carrying. This week I have one of my favori

Support the podcast! Did you know that during adolescence the brain goes through more neurological changes that it does at any point in human development? That's even more changes than during the notorious "terrible twos" and one of the reasons why interacting with teenagers can be so complicated. Being around teens can be challenging because they constantly seem to be on a giant emotional rollercoaster! This week I have a conversation with Janey Downshire who is one of the co-authors of Teenagers Translated: A Parent’s Survival Guide. I met Janey at the EFT Gathering a number of years ago and was instantly impressed with her work in helping parents to understand and support their teenagers. In the conversation we talk about: The difference between the settled and the unsettled brain (for teens and parents) How the adolescent brain is a work in progress Why teenage boys struggle to talk about their emotions Why teenage boys are risk seekers Why teenage girls struggle with fallout from friend groups Why paren

Support the podcast! A concept that I learned very early on in my training as a practitioner was: Our emotional response is dictated by how we describe the world, and not the way the world actually is. That's why I am constantly asking my clients for more details about how they understand what is going on in their lives. In many cases, when we are able to change the way they describe their situation, their emotions shift, even before we have started tapping. One of the words that always gets my attention, is when a client uses the word "should". Should, by its very nature, implies an expectation which may or may not be true. (In practice, it almost always implies an expectation that isn't true.) There are three parts to this week's podcast: We explore where our sense of "should" comes from and why it can cause emotional problems, which in turn lead us to not taking action, or taking actions that aren't right for us. I share a simple process that you can use to interrogate the actions that you feel you "sh

Support the podcast! In Pod #370 last week we talked about how best to use tapping when contemplating or going through a divorce. This week I have a conversation with Melissa Beasley about abusive relationships. Between these two conversations you can see how hard it is to talk about relationships going badly. There is so much cultural and personal baggage around admitting that a relationship hasn't worked out. It becomes even more complicated when emotional and physical abuse is part of the equation. In this week's podcast Melissa Beasley and I talk about abusive and toxic relationships and cover: How to identify an abusive relationship (including why it is so difficult to identify a toxic relationship from the inside) The tools and tactics used by abusive partners Why people stay in abusive relationships The four stages of moving out of a toxic relationship and into a healthy post-relationship life Steps for getting out of a toxic relationship How to use tapping in all four stages of leaving a toxic relati

Support the podcast! Divorce is a tricky subject. One one level there is all the cultural pressure to find a way of making a success of a struggling relationship. On the other, there is the desire to keep yourself happy and healthy by ending a relationship that is no longer working. Because of these opposing desires, figuring out a divorce is seldom straightforward. This week I have a conversation with Kate Anthony, a coach and the author of the "Divorce Survival Guide". We talk about the emotions that come up with considering divorce: What will happen to my kids and how can I support them emotionally? How is it going to work out financially on my own? Isn't there one more thing I should try? How will my friends and family react if I get divorced? How will I face my faith community if I get divorced? What if I am just over reacting to something that could be fixed? If you are in an unfulfilling relationship, this is the perfect starting point to start sorting out (and tapping for) your emotions. ALSO, if yo

Support the podcast! Receive reminders via text message 3 times a week: http://tappingqanda.com/sms A common characteristic of people involved in personal development and self-help is that they are caring and thoughtful people. As well as trying to improve their own lives, they strive to make the world a better place. Because of this, they are sensitive to other people's needs and desires and they really want to make a difference. At the same time, they tend to put other people's needs before their own and sometimes their loved ones take advantage of this. They start to feel like doormats and begin to resent others. This week I have a tap-along audio and tapping script for those times when you feel like that you are too nice and that others are taking advantage of you.   Subscribe in: Apple | iPhone | Android | Google | Spotify

Support the podcast! Our internal critical voice is one of the key reasons we fail to take the action we want in life. This constant nagging voice in our heads points out all of our past failings, why we aren't capable of taking action now, and why we will fail in the future. When we have a voice inside of our head telling us this over and over again, it can become crippling. The stronger the critical voice is, the less likely we are to take action. In this podcast Jacqui Letran and I talk about why the critical voice exists (and there is a good reason), how we can tap for it, and a new analogy for how to think about it. The image that Jacqui shares for the critical voice is one I had never thought of and is just perfect. Her description completely changed the way I think of my own critical voice. We also talk about how best to tap in the moment to reduce the power of the critical voice. Note: During the conversation we talk about forgiveness, the pitfalls around being able to forgive, and how to approach for