Absolutely Not

On this episode, Heather welcomes Jeff to the studio to discuss all things Japan!  They go through their wagyu dinner reservations, baseball with Ohtani, treats from 7-11 and overall Japanese culture. They give you everything you need to know before heading over to Japan for the first time. Episode Sponsors:Find Kahlúa Dunkin Caramel Swirl at retailers nationwide, including Walmart, Total Wine, Albertsons, Kroger, Ralphs, Safeway, BevMo, Publix, and more. Must be 21 or older to purchase. Please drink responsibly. For additional information, visit Kahlua.com and follow @Kahlua on Instagram.Head to Knix.com and you’ll see why I love Knix. Don’t forget to use code ABSOLUTELY for 15 percent off your order – get leakproof undies, amazing bras, and more! You’re going to thank me!Please note that this episode may contain paid endorsements and advertisements for products and services. Individuals on the show may have a direct or indirect financial interest in products or services referred to in this ep

On this episode, Heather is back in Robin's Basement and ready to take on the chaos of the week.  She has some exciting news about an upcoming live voicemails episode- make sure to take notes on how you can be chosen to chat with Heather.  She has fresh highlights, lashes and is contemplating how a government shuts down.  She chats about life as a tee ball mom as well as her newest internet troll. Episode Sponsors: Refresh your wardrobe with Quince. Go to Quince.com/absolutely for free shipping on your order and 365-day returns. Now available in Canada, too. Ready for your own reset? For a limited time, Prolon is offering Absolutely Not listeners 15% off sitewide plus a $40 bonus gift when you subscribe to their 5-Day Program! Just visit ProlonLife.com/absolutely to claim your 15% discount and your bonus gift.Find furniture, decor, and essentials that fit your unique style and budget. Head to Wayfair.com right now to shop all things home. Wayfair. Every style. Every home.  Get 15

On this episode, Heather is back from Japan and has already put on her Nurse Ratchet outfit.  There is no rest yet, she has to now take care of a toddler, figure out what to do with a frozen Christmas ham and get a surgery scheduled.  She takes on voicemails about the origins of tiramisu and men holding their own baby showers.  Episode Sponsors:Head to https://www.squarespace.com/absolutely to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain using code absolutely.Caraway’s cookware set is a favorite for a reason, it can save you up to $230 versus buying the items individually. Plus, if you visit Carawayhome.com/NOT10 you can take an additional 10% off your next purchase.This deal is exclusive for our listeners. Caraway. Non-Toxic kitchenware made modern.Join the loyalty program for renters at joinbilt.com/absolutely. Make sure to use our URL so they know we sent you.Ready to make some healthy swaps and become a member? Join Thrive Market with my link ThriveMarket.com/ABSOLUTELY for 30% o

On this episode from March 9, 2022, we hear Heather go on a real tear about International Women's Day. Coming off of a great weekend in Albany slinging jokes on tour, she's back with attitude and some Heather health advice (we all know she is not a Dr., but wears a short white coat). Heather also takes voicemails from the hotline. Episode Sponsors:Visit ProlonLife.com/absolutely to claim your 15% discount and your bonus gift.Find Kahlúa Dunkin Caramel Swirl at retailers nationwide, including Walmart, Total Wine, Albertsons, Kroger, Ralphs, Safeway, BevMo, Publix, and more. Must be 21 or older to purchase. Please drink responsibly. For additional information, visit Kahlua.com and follow @Kahlua on Instagram.Please note that this episode may contain paid endorsements and advertisements for products and services. Individuals on the show may have a direct or indirect financial interest in products or services referred to in this episode.Produced by Dear Media.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy a

On this episode, Heather welcomes fellow comedian Nicole Byer. They chat about meeting in the NYC comedy scene, the Heated Rivalry boys, and disassociating while on stage performing. They take on a voicemail about having sex dreams about a boss. You can find Nicole’s new crowd work special on YouTube, out on tour and or on any of her many podcasts.Episode Sponsors:Your emotional wellbeing matters. Find support and feel lighter in therapy. Sign up and get 10% off at BetterHelp.com/absolutely.Refresh your wardrobe with Quince. Go to Quince.com/absolutely for free shipping on your order and 365-day returns. Now available in Canada, too.For a limited time, Nutrafol is offering our listeners $10 off your first month’s subscription and free shipping when you visit Nutrafol.com and enter promo code ABSOLUTELYNOT.Save 20% Off Honeylove by going to honeylove.com/ABSOLUTELY! #honeylovepodRight now, Merit Beauty is offering our listeners their Signature Makeup Bag with your first order at meritbeauty.com.Find furniture,

On this episode, Heather has skeeted into the house fresh off a nose bleed.  She is ready to take on her birthday month of March! She shares details of an upcoming shoot she is nervous about and her shows in Texas and her roots in the rodeo. Heading to Japan soon, she is ready to adopt Punch herself.   She takes on a voicemail about the theatre kids version of the high school sport team. Episode Sponsors:Head to https://www.squarespace.com/absolutely to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain using code absolutely.Wake up with clearer skin, smoother hair, and cooler sleep. Use code ABSOLUTELY for an extra 30% off at blissy.com/ABSOLUTELY.Redefine your standard of health. Secure 20% off your order and begin your intentional wellness journey today at Piquelife.com/absolutely. Right now, Merit Beauty is offering our listeners their Signature Makeup Bag with your first order at meritbeauty.com.Join the loyalty program for renters at joinbilt.com/absolutely.Go to Ro.co/absolutelynot

On this episode, Heather welcomes back your rich BFF, Vivian Tu, back to the pod.  She is ready for all of you to be well-endowed, but wants you to make sure you don’t fall for the traps of online marketing.  Vivian wants you to ask yourself- are you buying the thing or the feeling? Heather goes to her threads to ask Vivian what the people have questions about. Episode Sponsors:Refresh your wardrobe with Quince. Go to Quince.com/absolutely for free shipping on your order and 365-day returns. Now available in Canada, too. For a limited time, Prolon is offering Absolutely Not listeners 15% off sitewide plus a $40 bonus gift when you subscribe to their 5-Day Program! Just visit ProlonLife.com/absolutely to claim your 15% discount and your bonus gift.If you want clearer insight into your health, go to ForHers.com and schedule your labs today.Get organized, refreshed, and back on track this new year for WAY less. Head to Wayfair.com right now to shop all things home. Wayfair. Every style. Every home

On this episode, Heather is fresh off her sleep apnea test and ready for Chinese New Year. While she is awaiting results, she is fully immersed in the nail-biting world of the Winter Olympics. She takes voicemails from listeners who want to know more about going on WWHl and how Andy Cohen feels about her, as well as a reluctant cat daddy and a MIL who is just trying to help!Episode Sponsors:Head to https://www.squarespace.com/absolutely to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain using code ABSOLUTELY.Find poppi at your nearest retailer or get it delivered straight to your door on Amazon. poppi — soda’s back, but so much better!Ready to make some healthy swaps and become a member? Join Thrive Market with my link ThriveMarket.com/ABSOLUTELY for 30% off your first order plus a FREE $60 gift!Redefine your standard of health. Secure 20% off your order and begin your intentional wellness journey today at piquelife.com/absolutely.It’s time you get the support that actually reflects you

On this episode, Heather welcomes the iconic CNN white house correspondent, Kaitlan Collins to the pod.  We get to hear all about flying on Air Force One, being in the press room, and of course her recent question and reaction she received from the President. They touch on the Epstein files, the presses’ relationship with Karoline Leavitt, and knowing which Truth social posts are actually coming from Trump.Episode Sponsors:Refresh your wardrobe with Quince. Go to Quince.com/absolutely for free shipping on your order and 365-day returns. Now available in Canada, too.Sign up and get 10% off at BetterHelp.com/absolutely.For a limited time, Nutrafol is offering our listeners $10 off your first month’s subscription and free shipping when you visit Nutrafol.com and enter promo code ABSOLUTELYNOT. Save 20% Off Honeylove by going to honeylove.com/ABSOLUTELY! #honeylovepodFind poppi at your nearest retailer or get it delivered straight to your door on Amazon. poppi — soda’s back, but so much better

On this episode, Heather is back from a wild weekend in St. Barths. She leaned in and was ready to go, but of course got bamboozled while partying. She chats about the island experience, what you need to know before you go and how you need to always ask for an itemized receipt. She takes a voicemail about Robins’ lives and chats about her new special taping that she cannot wait for this spring!Episode Sponsors:Refresh your wardrobe with Quince. Go to Quince.com/absolutely for free shipping on your order and 365-day returns. Now available in Canada, too.Head to https://www.squarespace.com/absolutely to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain using code ABSOLUTELY.Become a Fora Advisor today at Foratravel.com/absolutely — and make sure you tell them we sent you.Go to Ro.co/absolutelynot to see if you’re eligible for the new GLP-1 pill on Ro.Find poppi at your nearest retailer or get it delivered straight to your door on Amazon. poppi — soda’s back, but so much better!Car

On this episode, Heather checks in from an icy, chaotic winter weekend. She gets deep into mahjong, considers stepping away from TikTok, and reflects on the current political landscape—speaking honestly about the fear, frustration, and responsibility that come with it.Episode Sponsors:Shop in store and online at NordstromRack.com.Redefine your standard of health. Secure 20% off your order and begin your intentional wellness journey today at piquelife.com/absolutely.Save 20% off Honeylove by going to honeylove.com/ABSOLUTELY! #honeylovepodJoin the loyalty program for renters at joinbilt.com/absolutely.For a better buzz without the booze, check out https://www.senoritadrinks.com/discount/HEATHER20 Must be 21+. Please enjoy responsibly.Please note that this episode may contain paid endorsements and advertisements for products and services. Individuals on the show may have a direct or indirect financial interest in products or services referred to in this episode.Produced by Dear Media.See Privacy Polic

On this episode, Heather chats about nesting at home in Atlanta. She is out at the home goods, eating mushrooms she finds at Home Goods, and wearing cozy sweaters. She reminisces about jam band concerts, ahead of the summer concerts she is excited to go to and also the possibility of a Spice Girls reunion. She dissects voicemails about St. Barth's STD’s, age gap relationships, chronically late friends and this generation's Juicy Campus.Episode Sponsors:Shop in store and online at NordstromRack.com.Head to https://www.squarespace.com/absolutely to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain using code ABSOLUTELY.If you’re curious about swapping tequila for THC, this is your sign. Señorita makes it easy. It gives the perfect social lift without any of the next day “why did I do that” disappointment. Plus, they’re fast-onset and come in 5 or 10mg. With low calories and real ingredients, truly, THC never tasted so good. You can get these margs shipped right to your door at SenoritaDrinks.com

On this episode, Heather is on the “becoming Chinese” side of tik-tok, where she is being motivated to eat something warm in the morning and work out ( like everyone else at the year).  She chats about the Ole Miss loss, why she isn’t at the Golden Globes and her healing titty wound.  Voicemails from you guys get her yapping about pasta, the gym and sorority spring recruitment.Episode Sponsors:Shop in store and online at NordstromRack.com. You can grow thicker, healthier hair AND support our show by going to Nutrafol.com and entering the promo code ABSOLUTELY to save $15 off your first month’s subscription. This is their best offer anywhere and is only available to U.S. customers for a limited time. Plus FREE shipping on every order.Right now, Merit Beauty is offering our listeners their Signature Makeup Bag with your first order at meritbeauty.com.Get 15% off Branch Basics with the code ABSOLUTELY at https://branchbasics.com/ABSOLUTELY #branchbasicspodBecome a Fora Advisor today at foratravel.com/A

On this episode, Heather welcomes 2026 with a fresh calendar and a fresh injury—  her burnt titty. She celebrates the highs of Ole Miss making a national run and the lows of credit card points betraying her Japan plans. She then dives into your voicemails full of fresh starts, fiery horses, and big “new year, same bitch” energy.Episode Sponsors:Shop in store and online at NordstromRack.com.Go to Squarespace.com for a free trial, and when you’re ready to launch, squarespace.com/ABSOLUTELY to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain.If you’re curious about swapping tequila for THC, this is your sign. Señorita makes it easy. It gives the perfect social lift without any of the next day “why did I do that” disappointment. Plus, they’re fast-onset and come in 5 or 10mg. With low calories and real ingredients, truly, THC never tasted so good. You can get these margs shipped right to your door at SenoritaDrinks.com. Treat yourself, treat your friends, treat your tastebuds. Your

On this episode, Heather is ringing in the New Year with her favorite people, YOU! 2025 has been a series of ups and downs, but as we all know we can attribute this to not finishing the Vision Board last year.  Heather is giving the best practices for you all to make your own vision board for 2026.  She also goes through what everyone chimed in with what their 2026 goals are.  Episode Sponsors:Give Big. Save Big. Shop for everyone on your list at Nordstrom Rack stores now.EVERYONE who signs up wins a FREE Rose suction toy with their order! https://www.bboutique.co/vibe/absolutely-podcastHead over to Addyi’s website — Addyi.com — and see if Addyi is right for you.Find Kahlúa Dunkin Caramel Swirl at retailers nationwide, including Walmart, Total Wine, Albertsons, Kroger, Ralphs, Safeway, BevMo, Publix, and more. Must be 21 or older to purchase. Please drink responsibly. For additional information, visit Kahlua.com and follow @Kahlua on Instagram.Go to RO.CO/ABSOLUTELYNOT for y

On this episode from the Christmas of 2022, Heather is sitting down with her Italian stallion to recap 2022 highs and lows as well as doomsday prep for 2023. Jeff and Heather both share their "rose and thorn" of the year and never really address how over-budget the wedding really was. It is too touchy of a subject and they will push onto their therapists 10 years down the road.Episode Sponsors:Give Big. Save Big. Shop for everyone on your list at Nordstrom Rack stores now.Just in time for the new year, Prolon is offering ABSOLUTELY listeners FIFTEEN PERCENT off their 5-day nutrition program for your post-holiday glow-up when you go to ProlonLife.com/ABSOLUTELY.Want to see more of our adventures, laughs, and post-round FRESCAMixed vibes? Follow @FrescaMixed on Instagram and YouTube for more.Head over to Addyi’s website — Addyi.com — and see if Addyi is right for you.Right now, ABSOLUTELY NOT listeners can save 30% on their first order! Just head to cornbreadhemp.com/ABSOLUTELY and use

On this episode, Heather is back from her Parisian getaway with Jackie Schimmel. She chats about her very adult gift decisions, how she tried to bamboozle the Hermes sales associate, the French version of Erewohn, and where she wants to travel to next. She takes on your voicemails about grandparents during the holidays,secret santa woes, and of course, Christmas trees people. She then chats about the Bamboozled Tour.Episode Sponsors:Find gifts so good you'll want to keep them with Quince. Go to Quince.com/absolutely for free shipping on your order and 365-day returns. Now available in Canada, too.Give the gift of confidence this holiday season with Nutrafol. Whether you’re treating yourself for someone on your list, visibly healthier, thicker hair is the gift that keeps on giving. Right now, Nutrafol is offering our listeners $10 off your first month’s subscription plus free shipping when you go to Nutrafol.com and use promo code ABSOLUTELYNOT.Go to Squarespace.com for a free trial, and when yo

On this episode, Heather welcomes friend and interior design extraordinaire, Jared Hughes. Jared and Heather chat about how he got into design with his 6th grade bedroom, how to make sure you get the best antiques from your aging relatives, and how to work an estate sale. They take on the voicemails about holiday etiquette and gift giving.Episode Sponsors:Find Kahlúa Dunkin Caramel Swirl at retailers nationwide, including Walmart, Total Wine, Albertsons, Kroger, Ralphs, Safeway, BevMo, Publix, and more. Must be 21 or older to purchase. Please drink responsibly. For additional information, visit Kahlua.com and follow @Kahlua on Instagram.Go to Squarespace.com for a free trial, and when you’re ready to launch, squarespace.com/ABSOLUTELY to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain.The holidays are closer than ever, so make sure you order by December 16th to get their gift (or yours) underneath the tree in time! Visit Carawayhome.com/ABSOLUTELYNOT to take advantage of this limited-time of

On this episode, Heather is back in LA and welcomes Atsuko Okatsuka to the pod. Heather has shown up to the recording dress in her last dusty Brooks and Dunn t-shirt, while Atsuko is in a full conductor designer outfit with a shrimp bolo tie. They debate whether or not they are brain rotting being on their phone all the time on tour, ridiculous personal Yelp reviews, and if it's better to have a bird in the hand or two in a bush. They also connect on their love of Lucille Ball. You can catch Atsuko on tour as well as her new Hulu special, Father.Episode Sponsors: Want to see more of our adventures, laughs, and post-round FRESCAMixed vibes? Follow @FrescaMixed on Instagram and YouTube for more.Find Kahlúa Dunkin Caramel Swirl at retailers nationwide, including Walmart, Total Wine, Albertsons, Kroger, Ralphs, Safeway, BevMo, Publix, and more. Must be 21 or older to purchase. Please drink responsibly.To explore coverage, visit ASPCApetinsuranc.com/absolutely. This is a Paid Advertisement. Insurance is under

On this episode replay from 2021, we're having a post-thanksgiving bitch fest because everyone has been forced into unwanted family-time and now we're all chain-smoking near the garage. IT'S A MESS. It's time to reboot bitches, and take some time for yourself-because if we don't, we won't make it out of the holiday's alive!Episode Sponsors:Shop my favorite pajamas at SKIMS.com. and if you’re looking for the perfect gifts for everyone on your list - the SKIMS Holiday Shop is now open at SKIMS.comGo to Squarespace.com for a free trial, and when you’re ready to launch, squarespace.com/ABSOLUTELY to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain.For Absolutely Not listeners, you can get 20% off your first order at curehydration.com/absolutely with code absolutely.You can get an additional 15% off their 90-day subscription Starter Kit by going to fatty15.com/ABSOLUTELY and using code ABSOLUTELY at checkout.Head over to Addyi’s website — Addyi.com — and see if Addyi is right for you.Find Kahlúa Dunkin Cara