Kate, Tim & Marty

We got stuck into the wild world of school lunches from Blackers’ impressive Bento box spreads to Ricki hustling for pie money and Joel’s hard boiled egg trauma. Then we uncovered the influencer who’s sending his kid to school with caviar, octopus and filet mignon like it’s fine dining recess. Callers joined in with their own iconic lunch orders, from naked sausage rolls to bougie truffle sandwiches.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

A vegan firefighter’s first day on the job goes up in flames… literally, with 20,000 kilos of ribeye steak on fire. We dive into the mailbag to see if the people agree with Tim’s very controversial “no chicken for dinner” rule. Ricki gives us another round of Trump… but he’s gay, and this time he’s showing off in shorts. In the Glossy’s Harry Styles is holding hands with Zoe Kravitz, Dua Lipa’s birthday cakes trigger Tim, and there’s a cautionary tale about breaking your bloke bit. Plus, one woman has fully committed to the Titanic life by redecorating her entire apartment to match the doomed ship.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

A spine surgeon has revealed the three “moves” most likely to snap ya bloke bit — and the stats are brutal. Doggy leads the way with a whopping 43% of breaks, missionary isn’t far behind at 40%, and women-on-top comes in at 12%. Basically, the bedroom Olympics could end with a trip to the ER if you’re not careful.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

When you’re the only vegan firefighter in town… and your very first job is saving 20,000 kilos of burning ribeye. Talk about being thrown straight into the BBQ!See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Golf balls rolling themselves in, petty ways to drive your partner mad, and a cruise ship chicken tender brawl that’ll go down in buffet history. Plus, we dig into the world’s strangest side hustles, from pro cuddlers to pet food tasters. In the Glossy’s, Lil Nas X has a wild night in cowboy boots, Taylor Swift teases more “Showgirl” sparkle, Travis and Patrick are opening a steakhouse, and Britney’s back with a new accent on a boat.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

A Carnival Cruise turned into WrestleMania after a full-on brawl broke out at 2am — all over chicken tenders. About two dozen passengers went at it outside the cafeteria, with one shocked bystander yelling, “Over chicken tendies is crazy!” as fists flew. Security eventually stepped in, but not before the internet got hold of the footage, making the late-night snack attack instantly legendary.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Forget Uber driving or flogging candles online — these side hustles are next-level. There are secret hotel sleepers who get paid to stay in luxury hotels and rate the pillows, golf ball divers making six figures fishing lost balls out of ponds, and even pet food tasters earning $40K a year sampling kibble. Beauty brands pay face feelers $50 an hour just to touch skin, while professional cuddlers cash in $80 an hour for hugs. You can even test waterslides, wait in line for strangers, or be a virtual companion pulling in $2K a month. Honestly, our day jobs suddenly feel very boring.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Today’s show had everything from savage kids to savage exes. We kicked off with hilarious one-liners from kids that could roast a room better than any comedian. Then came the Kentucky ex who went full glitter-bomb on her boyfriend’s car and caused nearly $20k worth of damage. Tim’s ever-growing list of bizarre life rules made another appearance, and we dove into some truly unhinged tales from the ER including a bloke who thought AA batteries could give him energy from the inside. We also debated the wild BYO trend after a woman pulled a rotisserie chicken from her purse, and Nova legend Rosso joined us for Quick Draw.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Rosso dropped by for Quick Draw and it was pure chaos from the start. Between chatting about his new book What a Ripper, debating whether the Opera House is a “sexy building,” and reminiscing about prank-calling radio stations with star codes, the nostalgia was flowing. He claimed he hates radio games but got fiercely competitive anyway, going head-to-head with Joel. From Stack Hats to Slovenia to yelling “wank” for the win, it was one of the funniest Quick Draw battles we’ve had in ages.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Tim’s list of rules is so long it could be its own constitution. No chicken for dinner, no post-it notes, no jeans with hands in the pockets, and definitely no Birkenstocks midweek. He bans hot cross buns in public, toast in bed, and anyone turning up to work with wet hair unless it’s from laps. Food rules are brutal too — no tomatoes for dinner, no cheese with fish (unless it’s tuna or lobster mornay), and no full meals at 4:45pm. The team reckon it should be written on a scroll at this point because “Bitchy Tim’s Rules” just keep multiplying.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Kids don’t hold back, and today we proved it. From writing breakup notes in crayon to telling Santa he can’t be Santa if he was once a baby, the savage honesty was next level. Ricki shared how her daughter dropped the F-bomb in perfect context, and Blackers’ kids have whole notes apps full of zingers like “girls can’t be Santa.” Listeners called in with their own from “you look old, Mum” to “you’re so fat and cuddly.” Honestly, kids could run a roast battle and win every round.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

This week on Four The Record: Tim asks Joe about the disastrous Alaska Summit that left more questions than answers over the conflict between Russia and Ukraine. Plus what what Beijing will be carefully watching as the US tries to get these cease fire deals done.  LINKS Follow Tim Blackwell on Instagram Follow Joe Hildebrand on Instagram Read Joe's column in The Daily Telegraph Listen to The Real Story With Joe Hildebrand  See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Happy National Radio Day! On today’s show we met a 27-year-old Texan who’s never been kissed and says she’s saving her lips for marriage. Ricki got nostalgic about her own teenage pash sessions on the Gold Coast, proving this girl really is missing out. We also heard about a Disney lover who lost her wedding ring on a rollercoaster, only to find it hours later along with someone else’s. In the Glossys, Post Malone popped up on Google Maps and stripped down for a new Skims campaign, Chris Martin promised Coldplay won’t ditch the kiss cam, and Joe Jonas confessed a very awkward mile-high club story. Plus, the Minnesota Vikings cheer squad now includes two men and the internet is divided.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Happy National Radio Day to our only radio broadcaster, Blackers! (lol) And to celebrate, he plays the most epic, hilarious and grossest radio breaks to ever grace the Aussie waves!See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

A 27-year-old woman in Texas has gone viral after revealing she’s never been kissed and plans to save her first pash for her wedding day. We were equal parts shocked and fascinated, spiralling into a debate about the beauty of a good kiss, bad kissers who feel like “a cat’s bum,” and those teenage bus-stop make-out sessions that were basically a Gold Coast rite of passage. Listeners then jumped in with their own “never ever” confessions from never trying an olive, to never going to a concert, to never having a one-night stand. Turns out, everyone’s holding onto something.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Today’s show was chaos in the best way. We kicked off with the stat that 32% of men think they could land a plane with no training, which is both hilarious and terrifying. The VMAs have revealed their first performers and the lineup is massive. Then we got into the wild story of David Walliams and Elton John allegedly ruining a hens party in the South of France. Madonna’s birthday cake had everyone talking, and finally we wrapped with a bunch of elderly legends going viral for their cheeky pickup lines, and they’re smoother than half the blokes on Tinder.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Yep, you read that right. Nearly a third of blokes reckon they could step into the cockpit and safely land a commercial jet with zero training. Another 50% are confident they could nail it if they had radio guidance. Naturally, this spiralled into a full-blown debate about flight sims, air crash investigation episodes, and whether Dutch courage would actually help. Listeners chimed in with their own “I could do that with no experience” jobs, from dental nurse to midwife to window cleaner, and one even thought they could do our job. Spoiler: they gave it a crack, and the landing was not smooth.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

David Walliams and Elton John are being blamed for wrecking a hens party in the South of France. A group of girls booked a fancy island restaurant months in advance, only to have their reservation axed 24 hours before the big night. The next day, they spotted Elton and David partying at the exact same spot — watermelon, dancing, the works — and instantly put two and two together. Furious, they flooded the comments accusing the pair of stealing their table. Honestly, the hens got ghosted by very fabulous competition.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Ricki’s found the ultimate guide on how to rage-bait men and, surprise, Blackers didn’t cope well. We crack open the mailbag after our “douche de leche” clip went nuts online, with Ricki reading some of the sassiest comments she’s ever copped. Adults are now sucking on pacifiers (yep, that’s a thing), and Joel celebrated his birthday the only way he knows how — at the gym. Plus, what everyday items should you ditch? An influencer says TVs, microwaves and even downlights. And finally, the dictionary has added new words like “skibidi”… because apparently English wasn’t confusing enough already.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Ricki-Lee dove headfirst into the comments section after our “douche de leche” video went viral — 13 million views and a gaggle of spicy opinions later, the internet had thoughts. Spanish speakers were offended, Chileans called it manjar, and one legend just applauded the confidence. Ricki defended herself with Google phonetics prep, but let’s be honest… it still wasn’t great. Then came Brendan’s cruise ship horror story involving cocktails, fire, melted shorts and his poor groin — absolute chaos. And to top it off, Ricki’s Taylor Swift Super Bowl theory just got major backing online, with Swifties linking sourdough bread, mascots and Easter eggs to Levi’s Stadium in 2026.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.