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Brian’s blog yesterday gave a Michael Vick-like view on dogs.  Many animals expressed disapproval.  It’s okay.  Sit.  Stay.  Listen.  You’re in for a treat. THE…Continue reading5 Things I Love About L.A. [Bonus Material]

To the congress that just reaffirmed the USA motto, I will be sure on this day of plentiful thanks, a day when there is so much thanks…Continue reading“In Deformation, We trust”

  My dick is bigger than yours!” Collin exclaimed, folding the tips of his fingers over mine. It looked like the scene in Tarzan when Jane pressesContinue readingMy First Blowjob

Nirvana and Marilyn Manson patch on the white out painted backpack … you were Candace the “I don’t care” hesher girl. Over weight and jolly…Continue readingSo what were you in high school?

Calling people is weird. So glad we text stuff now. Talking in real time gives me the willies. I feel like I should have flash cards or a TiVo remote in case I don’t know what to do. But some people are pros at it.Continue readingCat Calls

Dear JAC Bus Company, I write to you in hopes that two people will be castrated and stricken from the employee records of your company,Continue readingDear JAC, Two Castrations Please

I’ve decided to jump back into the world of online dating. I joined Match.com in hopes of finding the perfect : fun loving, adventurous, down to earth,Continue readingMy First Match.com Date

There is absolutely no doubt in my mind that I am, by far and away, the fastest walker in Santiago. And to take advantage of…Continue reading9 Things I Hate About Walking

One of the luxuries/drawbacks of being a quazi-illegal immigrant with a UK and USA passport living in Chile is that you must collect another touristContinue readingBolivian Visa Run

I do not consider myself an evil man. I open doors for the ladies. I will cross a busy highway to help a wheelchair upContinue readingIpecac