Poorly Summarized

A twenty-something Reddit user discovers not every household is equipped with a poop knife, former Facebook VP apologizes for initializing the downfall of civilization, and a Thai cosmetic surgery shop makes headlines for its penis bleaching.

Trump reassures the nation of his mental stability through a series of unhinged tweets, the New York Times throws shade at deceased Mormon president, and Mike and Justin discuss media bias and echo chambers.

Russian immigrants “ruin” grits, Justin corrects his philosophy on tipping, Mike introduces a new pornographic genre to a crowd, and Donald Trump eats like a poor person’s idea of a rich person.

Mike and Justin discuss the ethics of onanism, patriotism and various other isms.

Mike visits a gay bar and learns exactly how hot (or not) he is, Roy Moore almost becomes a senator, woman claims she’s had sex with 20 ghosts, and John learns to use food to assert his control over a Boy Scout.

Trumped Up returns.

Mike and Justin discuss birth, death and hypothetical gay sex.

Roy Moore, Louis C.K., Boy Scout miscellany and 280-character tweets.

Mike describes a faith discussion cut short with an estranged friend and the Boy Scouts of America’s new policy allowing girls to participate.

The guys take a week off and fill the void with an episode from our Patrons-only podcast, Mike’s Mission Journal.

Mike and Justin explore the line between honesty and provocation.

Trump offers his thoughts on the Las Vegas massacre, Mike defends politicizing a tragedy, California school flutes get contaminated with semen given to California students, and an historic grain silo is converted into cylindrical art galleries. Special Guest: Joshua Leigh Wolfe.

BYU students get caffeinated soda, NFL players’ protests are contrasted with Tim Tebow’s prayerful touchdown celebrations, and ‘hepeating’ is the new mansplaining.

Trump calls out racists on Twitter, the Mad Pooper terrorizes Colorado Springs, 12 ways to know you’re brainwashed, sign language interpreter falls back on gibberish, and subversive MTA ads make a point. Special Guest: Kael Alden.

Ted Cruz’s Twitter account likes a porn video, Florida sheriff warns against shooting into the hurricane, alt-right violence is compared to “communist flag wavers”, a date goes south after a bathroom mishap, and Katerina Kamprani creates utterly useless art objects. Special Guest: Konrad Vernor.

Bo shares his dogspotting philosophy, Trump makes a repeat visit to Houston, Mayor Elijah Daniel outlaws heterosexuality in Hell, Mike argues about ghosts with an old acquaintance, poorly delivered package traps couple in apartment, Bored Panda finds art in worn-out everyday things. Special Guest: Bo Quintana.

President Trump gives a jaw-dropping speech in Houston, non-religious people are more likely to drop f-bombs on Facebook, Ann Coulter blames Hurricane Harvey on Houston's lesbian mayor, Justin Bieber unfollows Floyd Mayweather in the name of Christ, and Michelangelo sketches in a secret chamber. Special Guests: Cecil and Tom.

Trump gives an unhinged speech in Arizona; llama jumps fence to chase bear away from farm ducks, then goes to golf course; flat Earthers resolutely stare directly into the sun; New York cops keep corpses in MTA break rooms; and Fernando Abellanas builds a secret work studio. Special Guest: Mark.

Trump blames “many sides” for the nation’s racial turmoil, YouTube becomes overrun with fake Peppa Pig videos, the Egyptian pyramids are compared to confederate statues as symbols of slavery, crown shyness is explained, and Mike reveals his Achilles’ heel. Special Guest: Michael Stemle.

Mariani chastises Mike for the texting in a theater of it all, President Trump visits the Boy Scouts of America, Utah man kills his wife on cruise after she laughed at him, nuclear warfare is compared to “big government” policies, and the Ottomans build ornate birdhouses. Special Guest: E. Nicholas Mariani.