Alan Weiss' The Uncomfortable Truth

SHOW NOTES: •Do you know people who are loquacious, verbose, prolix? •Ask a "yes or no" question and they respond with opinions, history, and self-therapy. •Have you been to the Jersey Shore? Well, I did go once, as a child, but my parents really couldn't afford the vacation, and then when they could, they preferred Cape Cod. I haven't taken my children because my spouse thinks that "Jaws" was a documentary. •Why so much talk? -Articulating cognitive processes -Buying time -Believing it adds credibility and esteem -Just a bigmouth who loves to hear him/herself talk •Tell people what they need to know, not everything that you know. •Assume intelligent people will ask you questions if needed. •Don't be afraid to stop people from rambling: -What's your point? -What's your question? •Verbosity attempts to hide the point: politicians do it and it probably helped cost Kamala Harris the election. •It dilutes your real power, like planting the Mona Lisa in the midst of a much larger painting. •People forget the majo

SHOW NOTES: People want problems solved, even if you caused them! Learn how Katz's Deli and Mercedes Benz have turned problems into profits. Don't look for blame, look for opportunity. No one is as excited about an expected excellent experience as they are about a disappointing experience turned into an excellent experience. Customers tend to tell a huge number of people about their experiences, at their levels—peer-to-peer evangelism. This is why companies that make it their work to make themselves unreachable (welcome to government agencies) are so foolish. Perhaps, instead of saying, "The problem with you is...." you should be saying, "Let me help you do that even better."

SHOW NOTES: There are myriad claims on social media that are justified by the author observing (or being a self-proclaimed expert in) "body language." I have always thought this was ridiculous, sort of a faux psychological claim of expertise. Of course, the French have long studied graphology (handwriting) to determine behavioral traits (hard in a world forsaking cursive), and scapulimancy, the study of old, burned animal shoulder bones, has been used by various cultures to contact the gods. "Body language" is a similar myth. You don't believe me, here's what Psychology Today has to say about it: "Every day, we get queries from around the world about non-verbals and invariably about detecting deception through body language. The biggest takeaway from the hundreds of messages is that despite the undeniable importance of nonverbal communication, many myths and false beliefs undermine its importance, relevance, or utility. So, we decided to pool our resources and comment on ten myths about body language that

SHOW NOTES: •Let's stop the hypocrisy around this affair. •This goes on all over, government, business, education. •I've seen it, many people know the "secret." •The foolishness is the arrogance that you think it's a secret. •But the attempts at shadenfreude are ludicrous. •Who's pointing the finger? People who have cheated on exams, broken traffic laws, evaded taxes, blamed others for their corrupt behavior, lied on applications, snuck into events, bragged about things that never happened, and covered up things that did. •People reveling in the pain of two people who now have broken marriages and broken homes. •A man died a week ago with whose politics a woman on Facebook disagreed and said his death "made the word a better place." •What kind of sick behavior is that? It's low self-esteem. •We've all done things we're not proud of, and some of us are remorseful. That's what the confessional is for, or Yom Kippur, or your therapist, or a serious, soul-searching hike up a mountain. •If others learning of a tr

SHOW NOTES: •Why is Scottie Sheffler likely to become the greatest golfer ever? •Why is mental attitude the key to winning? •How some sports prompt more honesty than others. •Handling defeat and victory properly. •Not allowing a mistake to become a haunting obstacle. •Why Tiger Woods was overrated. •Even if you don't play the game you can learn from it. •Playing prudently to win. •Never "coming back to the pack." •Sheffler and Koufax and Sinatra.

SHOW NOTES: We strongly suggest you view the video of this conversation using this link: https://alanweiss.com/mercedes-and-anastasia/ Mercedes and Anastasia Korngut are two teen sisters, and co-founders of the company, Small Bits of Happiness. Their mission is to help individuals of all ages find more happiness in daily life. They have reached over four million teens and adults. As two teens, Mercedes and Anastasia understand firsthand the difficulties of teenage-hood, including not only the hormonal changes that tweens and teens undergo, but the added stressors of war, post-pandemic life, and beyond. The two have been featured on national news and media, spoken at schools and conventions across North America, host the podcast Hack Your Happiness, as well have designed a series of happiness-wellness products for tweens, teens, adults, and schools.

SHOW NOTES: One of the most corrupted words in the language recently is "unicorn," which is a mythical creature. "Mythical" means "not real." Yet all kinds of people have decided they are unicorns and, therefore, are unique, better than others, more valuable. Yet if so many people are appropriating the title, then are they really "unique"? Outstanding performers may be rare—in sports, business, entertainment, whatever—but they are not mythical, and they don't see themselves as mysterious creatures. In fact, highly successful people can tell you why they're successful. It's the unsuccessful people who insist they're somehow "unicorns." You know, narwhals also have single tusks sticking out of their heads. Or, mythically, you could call yourself a Sasquatch, or Yeti, or Loch Ness Monster. Or the Easter Bunny or the Tooth Fairy. But enough with "unicorn." They are now a herd and none are differentiated.

SHOW NOTES: •We should avoid generations stereotyping. •We're really better off than we're led to believe. •Try living in Denmark or Iceland. •Magic bullets won't help. •Can a culture survive on gambling? •There is extreme unhappiness in the land. •It is exacerbated by the internet. •People would rather blame themselves, the boss, or the system rather than accept accountability. •Conspiracies and claims of catastrophes abound. •Self-absorption has become a pastime. •Selfishness has grown to not even wanting to have kids. •What I learned growing up having to challenges without safe havens and trigger warnings. •What I told my son.

SHOW NOTES: Here's just a part of the obituary of my friend and former subordinate, Francis X. McGuire from 2010: "...a unique man whose professional life began as a late night disc-jockey in New York City, led him to serve in the Kennedy White House, work for the ABC network (hiring Ted Koppel), to be on the ground floor side-by-side with Fred Smith during the Fed Ex start-up, and there with Colonel Sanders when he sold." In the mid- to late 70s he wound up working for me at a firm in Princeton, and even I didn't know what he was doing there, and our owner kept trying to fire him in cost-cutting fits, emerging from his office shouting, "Fire McGuire!" I forestalled that with quick thinking and fake assignments. I'm thinking of him now, because Fred Smith, with whom Frank was quite close, just passed away, which is notable because Smith is one of the greatest business leaders of my entire lifetime, in my assessment. So here's to Frank, whom I'm hoping Fred Smith is meeting again, because only God can tel

SHOW NOTES: Fight, Flight, Fright, or Fall Down Quaking We feel powerless in an age of volatility and disruption, of lack of trust in our institutions, and of polarization among those supposed to represent our best interests and not merely their own. Fight or flight has added fright to the equation, but it seems to me there's also the new option of hiding under the bed (fall down quaking). Whining has become a national past time, and we hear of "toxic bosses, poisonous workplaces, unfair demands, too little pay for too much work. And the anodyne solutions is "soak the rich, tax the wealthy, take back....well, whatever." Those experiments in Seattle and Portland, which were actually anarchic takeovers and the end of law and order didn't work out so well, did they? The Great City of San Francisco, where we lived for a glorious while in the 70s is not filthy and dangerous in many areas. The homeless often physically confront pedestrians. At least we don't hear "defund the police" so much anymore, since it's su

SHOW NOTES: ° State of the art robots for pools. ° Found two years ago in a high-end magazine. ° Took a chance. ° Outstanding results. ° Second season, this year, one robot fails. ° Company says to send it back, they'll send a replacement first. ° True to their word, everything is good. ° Chinese company, locally in Texas. ° Two people ask to visit. ° Thought it was a scam. ° Two Chinese people, one from China currently, visiting customers. ° Bring me a gift. ° We walk through my usage, they take photos (of course). ° They question my use, show me an app and ask my reaction. ° Expanding into more robotics, they ask for suggestions. ° I point out pool levelers. ° Would I be interested for my cars and house? ° Encourage me to continue to ask questions by phone, offer ideas. The Uncomfortable Truth: 1. I've never seen any other firm in any field go to this trouble, even my investment advisors (who did just take me to lunch). 2. I cannot find any software or devices they left surreptitiously to undermine our wa

SHOW NOTES: Covid was a surprise, but not completely unexpected. Financial people were prepared for some "big event." The scientific, medical, and political responses were mixed, politicized, and hurtful. In retrospect, was it necessary to suspend schools and deny kids of years of learning and socialization; to prevent families from assembling for important occasions; to shut down businesses and drive some into bankruptcy; to endanger the arts, and see cultural activities stopped, sometimes permanently; to create increased sense of fear, isolation, and helplessness. Closings, suspensions, masks, distancing were clearly huge overreactions, and perhaps completely unnecessary. What IS clear is that the failure to create bipartisan approaches which found and promoted only the best and most reasonable reactions were not present, and not even sought. It was equivalent of social media and conspiracies and absurd opinions. And it encouraged fraud in claims made for financial assistance, circumvention of rules, disre

SHOW NOTES: Why are politicians asking for support without revealing the party they represent? Because they're embarrassed or duplicitous, or both? Why don't they admit to errors their party has made, or they have made? "We shouldn't have supported this" or "I'm sorry I supported that." Why campaign as if fighting an enemy (the other party) instead of supporting their constituency? Why become a lacky to your party's demands rather than speak out against those with which and with whom you disagree? Why do you insult our intelligence by not providing a positive platform focused on what you can do, rather than merely against what the other side is doing? And how can you claim that you didn't know what you obviously did, and did know what you obviously didn't (or hid)? Why are politicians from states I don't care about with positions that don't affect me, strangers to me, expecting my money, and why are politicians selling each other lists within the party to gain access to potential contributors? It's bec

SHOW NOTES: There are jobs that many of us would prefer not to have and businesses we'd prefer not to own, but they provide valuable services. Someone has to run funeral parlors, cemeteries, cesspool cleaning, mold removal, and junkyards. Personally, I wouldn't like to pick up garbage, but we need the service or the rats would overwhelm us. Then there are jobs that I can't comprehend doing because of their impact on others. I knew a woman who incessantly pointed out that her husband was a doctor. I asked him once for a referral for a client who lived in the area, and he couldn't provide me one. I found out when we had dinner once, and I questioned him, that he sat at a desk all day approving and rejecting medical claims. Even with my excellent health insurance, I'm occasionally informed by a distant "claim administrator" that my claim wasn't covered or only partially covered. There's no coherent explanation, only the small print that some attorney, also sitting at a desk and who's never been inside a courtroo

SHOW NOTES: When I was teaching a graduate course as a "side hustle" for MBA and PhD candidates at the University of Rhode Island, I inherited a student who claimed he had ADHD and the "documentation was coming from health services." He also answered every question in class with a single word, "reengineering." I found out that he had pulled this con with the full-time faculty, and was in his final courses getting to his MBA. He told me he couldn't take "timed" tests. No worries, I told him, the midterm and the final were take-home essays and everyone had whatever time needed so long as they met the deadline. I gave them the questions 60 days ahead of the deadline. He never contributed anything else in class except that word, and I watched him easily banter with classmates, otherwise. He never turned in the midterm or final. I flunked him, unheard of in the graduate school where everyone received A's or B's or a rare C. He went ballistic and filed a complaint. My grade was upheld. The school's director told

SHOW NOTES: The odds were better for the biggest longshot in the Kentucky Derby. An American has become Pope. It was said that no American could become Pope because the church wouldn't vest its power in someone with a Super Power. I would think, however, that there is no greater Super Power than God, so we shouldn't worry. Many people are pointing out that he spend twenty years in Peru so he's actually Peruvian. No, he's American, born here, but with a dual citizenship. Others, especially non-Catholics, panic when he's called a "missionary," thinking of the Colonialist/Imperialist times when the clergy were sent as missionaries to convert any non-Christian in sight. Today, missionary work is about caring for the poor, providing for the less fortunate, helping after natural disasters. The clergy as a whole are highly educated and learned men. There is no theological justification for a celibate, male clergy. Jesus never spoke of it, God never mentioned it. This was created by the church in the 12th Century be

SHOW NOTES: •There was once a Readers Digest staple by this name, still available in summaries. •Here's mine. Keep in mind, when you critique someone who happens to be black, it's 'de rigueur' to announce, "I'm not a racist." Well, I'm announcing to you that I'm not a Trump supporter (and I'm also not a racist). •Years ago we thought about selling our home. Every realtor who showed me "comparable's" I turned away, because there was no comparable's to this home. It's a lifestyle, not a house. You judge it on that basis, not the neighbors. •People outside the US, especially in Europe, think that the US is simply like a European country, but much larger. (A client of mine in the EU, to whom I mentioned that Lichtenstein was the only European country I haven't visited, said, "Lichtenstein is in Europe?") •Trump is targeting some areas that need improvement, but where he should be using a scalpel he's using a flamethrower. •We cannot allow unregulated, illegal immigrants into the US. (Does an "undocumented immigr

Show Notes: I knew kids in high school and college who cheated. They stole exams or looked at other people's answers or had someone else take tests for them. (Ironically, grammar school was far more honest!) My daughter had a friend whom she abandoned because of her chronic cheating and requests to help her out. She even cheated at sports unless the officials caught her. When you're successful, of course, you don't stop, and she tried cheating in college and got herself tossed out. I'd bet she's in a blue collar job today and stealing from her employer. People asked me to help them cheat and even offered money to me to write a paper or sit in such a way where they could see my answers. I never acquiesced, and there were two quite simple reasons. First, it makes it harder for all the honest kids to stand out, and second, I really don't want someone doing my taxes, or selling my house, or operating on an abscess who cheated to get to those positions. I remember a guy called in by auto shops who would "prove"

Show Notes: •Quality diminishes as numbers increase. •As everyone joins in, fewer and fewer real authorities. •A guy doesn't publish directly, but is "presented" by others so you can't block his inanities. If you click on his site, there is a ridiculous training program hawked with absurd promises. He's a hustler. I block the people "presenting" him. •All those people with 17 "rules" for great leadership and charts for making decisions have never been a great leader or decision maker. If they were, why would they post this nonsense publicly. Can you see a leader with a chart or list in his pocket consulting it in the boardroom? •The there are the 'ad hominem' attacks, very popular on Facebook, where a person with an IQ 80 points lower than yours say simply, "That's a dumb question" or "You're clueless." •About 90% of the stuff that shows up on my X feed, which I don't want and never requested, is anti-Trump, often with ridiculous claim, false statistics, and posted by third parties but representing some

SHOW NOTES: The threshold of rational behavior and values overcome by opposing normative pressures. The rioter's justification. The battlefield. The social media and "influencers." People who have low self-esteem and seek bias confirmation and approval. Fear begets fear, panic begets panic. The "drug" of the "magic bullet." Handholds when you're confused—they may be even more dangerous. Example: Are you trading or investing? Example: Have you looked at best case/worse case? Example: Have you considered probability and seriousness? The case of the quite successful "big lady." What's the empirical evidence and observed behavior? A friend is a friend, not an expert. The three kinds of empathy.