Rhett Smith Podcast

It is not unusual for me to be sitting across from a man in my therapy office as he relays to me the story about when he first learned that it was not okay for boys to cry. It is usually a very powerful moment. I have heard men of all ages and backgrounds tell this story. And though the characters and contexts are different, the take away message is always the same. It is not safe for men to show emotions. One of the more powerful moments came in my work with a man in his 70's as he recalled with tears in his eyes that incident 70 years earlier when his father told him to stop crying. That event was 70 years ago and it had a profound shaping affect on that man's understanding of masculinity and what defines it. I am super passionate about helping men identify their feelings. Because if a man can identify them, understand them, name them...have words and language for them...he often begins to not only understand himself better, but so do those people in relationship with him. He begins to own his own story in