Tales from Sacred Texts

An ancient world ruler's dream sends the kingdom into upheaval as the king erratically decides that he's going to torture his soothsayers to death for no good reason at all. Daniel shows up at the last moment and lets the king know that his dream was actually prophetic—but the king HATES the interpretation. Of course, his reaction is to build a 90-foot tall middle finger to God. This supplemental sets the stage for our next episode, in which our heroes are thrust into the middle of this king's war against Yahweh.  VIOLENCE: 2/5 SEXUALITY: 0/5 DISCRIMINATORY THEMES: 0/5 --- Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/talesfromsacredtexts/support

How much feet is too much when it comes to romance? Apparently, there's no limit to the number of feet needed to tell a love story. Ruth is an inspiring story of love and loyalty framed by an author that really can't seem to get his eyes out of the gutter or really anywhere past the shins. We see an unlikely romance blossom as two people that do their best to be the change in an uncompassionate society. But can the pair make it when they're confronted by the bizarre marriage laws?   CONTENT WARNINGS:  Violence: 1/5  Sexuality: 3/5  Discriminatory Themes: 1/5  MUSIC CREDITS:  "Vlad Gluschenko - Where No Man Has Set Foot" is is under a Creative Commons (CC BY 3.0) license. http://creativecommons.org/licenses/b...Terms of Use: https://vladgluschenkomusi.wixsite.co...Music promoted by BreakingCopyright: https://youtu.be/wl9XAeeOUbA  Forest by Vlad Gluschenko https://soundcloud.com/vgl9 Creative Commons — Attribution 3.0 Unported  — CC BY 3.0 Free Download / Stream: htt

As promised, we've finally got a whole episode developed to relics. More specifically, one of the most famous relics. In this wild tale, a guy who really should have been on disability and not leading a work team ends up learning just how similar Jesus Christ is to the basilisk from Harry Potter. He died, never realizing that he had held actual godhood in his hands, but future generations engage in a massive battle royale for the relic and end up stabbing themselves in, well, a place you'd rather not stab yourself.  CONTENT WARNINGS: Violence: 3/5 Sexuality: 1/5 Discriminatory Themes: 1/5 Negative Depictions of God: 4/5 MUSIC CREDITS: Ross Bugden, "Something Wicked," https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Zuw_O5MU5CE. "Broken Elegance - Infinitum" is under a Creative Commons (CC-BY 3.0) license Broken Elegance: https://www.youtube.com/user/BrokenEl...Music promoted by BreakingCopyright: http://bit.ly/bkc-infinitum. --- Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/talesfromsacredtexts/support

The Hebrews, once again, have gotten themselves in huge trouble, and this time it's a giant metal snake that bails them out. Themes of the gospel run from this story to an encounter between Jesus and a demon who just really has it out for a young kid. We finish this episode with an arrogant religious leader and an evaluation of how these stories should affect the way we live our lives today.  Music credits: "Aftertune - Colors" is under a Creative Commons (CC BY-SA 3.0) license. https://creativecommons.org/licenses/... https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCQKf... Music promoted by BreakingCopyright: https://youtu.be/c2I4GrodM0A "Arthur Vyncke - Cherry Metal" is under a Creative Commons (CC BY-SA 3.0) license. https://soundcloud.com/arthurvost Music promoted by BreakingCopyright: https://youtu.be/2xn-rZw6IZY "Elektronomia - Elektronomia - Collide" is free to use on YouTube with credits. Watch: https://youtu.be/bWGhAfN9PAs Stream: https://spoti.fi/3nZ4A3y Music promoted by BreakingCopyright: https://youtu.be/Q

A small-time prophet is ordered by God to warn a city full of brutal tyrants that their city is about to burn. Not wanting to be tortured to death, he tries to get as far away from the tyrannical city and ends up struggling with a whale and screaming about how a plant betrayed him.  --- Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/talesfromsacredtexts/support

When given the once in the history of the world opportunity to talk to his pet, Balaam chooses absolutely the wrong words. Balaam is an absolute jerk to both his donkey and to God, but he's still surprised that everything goes very poorly for him. In an attempt to repair his floundering reputation, he cooks up a dastardly scheme that works well until some guy decides to impale a couple while they're having sex. --- Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/talesfromsacredtexts/support

The book of Daniel recounts the stories of two proud and oppressive kings; one who changes his ways while another doubles down on his capricious nature. In both stories, God has to step in and do something uniquely drastic. This episode is an instruction manual on what to do with pride, and the importance of learning from previous mistakes and doing better. Gratefulness to God for the abilities He has given us is a key first step.  MUSIC CREDITS: "Arthur Vyncke - Refusing the Ultimatum" is is under a Creative Commons (CC BY-SA 3.0) license. http://creativecommons.org/licenses/b... https://soundcloud.com/arthurvostMusic promoted by BreakingCopyright: https://youtu.be/YyLRofvgzrU 'The Medieval Banquet' by Silverman Sound is under a Creative Commons license (CC BY 3.0) Music promoted by BreakingCopyright: http://bit.ly/Silvermansound_Medieval "Vadim Krakhmal - Runic Hills" is under a Creative Commons (CC BY-SA 3.0) license Music promoted by BreakingCopyright: https://bit.ly/bkc-runic.  "MegaEnx - Recov

We finish David's story arc (pun intended) with his attempt to establish himself as King and bring the Ark of the Covenant to his new capital city. David faces intrigue from within, challenges from without, and way too many people murdering his enemies in cold blood. We'll watch David navigate the challenges of leadership as he finally sees the suffering of his youth pay off, and we'll find what happens just what happens when you a little too excited about that dance party with your subjects. --- Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/talesfromsacredtexts/support

The priests are dead, Saul is hunting David like a wild animal, and there seems to be no hope that David and his men will ever lead normal lives, but David refuses to give up his idealism. David will not deviate from his moral code to save his life. He picks up a new wife, cuts off the king's underwear, and deceives his country's worst enemies in this thrilling tale. The tale comes to a head when the king needs some extra help, and the only place he knows to go is to a dark and evil witch.  --- Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/talesfromsacredtexts/support

I briefly describe what my listeners can expect from Tales from Sacred Texts going forward and encourage everyone to check out this new season of my podcast. --- Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/talesfromsacredtexts/support

The king of Israel brutally slaughters the priests of Yahweh, and we take a look back through time to figure out what led to such a horrifying event. We meet an ordinary boy who saves his countrymen and wins their hearts. He slowly transforms from a one-hit wonder to a brave and competent leader who the tyrant king sees as his greatest threat, with lots of heartwrenching or thrilling moments in between. But will he survive when the king determines that he needs to die? --- Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/talesfromsacredtexts/support

When all seems lost for the Hebrews, overrun by fearsome and brutal enemies, a young upstart destroys a national monument in support of one of the regional gods and claims Yahweh has given him a command to overthrow the brutal oppressors. With 300 handpicked men, he does just that. Unfortunately, he faces obstacles when his own countrymen stand in his way. --- Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/talesfromsacredtexts/support

Xanthippe discovers a new religion full of men that she fancies. The issue, of course, is that she's married. She tries to join the religion, but is hindered by her husband and demons of all sorts. When things finally get put back to (somewhat) right, and her husband joins the religion to hopefully get his wife back, a new danger emerges as a psychopath kidnaps Xanthippe's sister, Polyxena, and absconds with her on a ship crewed by demons. After managing to escape, Polyxena attempts to find a better method of protecting herself. She hears that if she is baptized, she gets an invulnerable shield, but she can't find anyone to baptize her. So she wanders around, making awful deals and meeting strange characters, until a fortuitous encounter brings everyone back together in the end.  --- Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/talesfromsacredtexts/support

The two pilgrims, still trapped in Giant Despair's dungeon, make their desperate bid for freedom. They exploit his greatest weakness to get back on the path to the Celestial City, where they meet cryptic shepherds and demons dragging poor souls to hell kicking and screaming. After they cross the final obstacle and arrive at their journey's end, we discuss the story of Pilgrim's Progress as a whole--and what it means to us in our day.  --- Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/talesfromsacredtexts/support

The Pilgrim encounters his latest challenge in the form of a court unlike any you will ever see where the judge and jury are overtly evil. Judge Hate-Good pronounces his sentence, a new character shows up and beats himself up for wanting to make a good financial investment, and the pilgrims stumble from one predicament into a far worse one as they encounter a sadistic character who leaves them nearly hopeless. --- Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/talesfromsacredtexts/support

The Pilgrim ups the stakes of his Progress by fighting one demon, and then an entire valley of them. After making it through the gauntlet of demonic beings desperate to destroy him, the Pilgrim meets one last danger in an old man screeching threats through his remaining teeth. Catching up to his friend, he recounts his story, but learns to his dismay that his friend had a much easier time of it--but his friend is the one disappointed when he is warned that his good luck is up. --- Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/talesfromsacredtexts/support

The first episode in my re-telling of Pilgrim's Progress, an epic tale by John Bunyan of a man who finds his way to Heaven while meeting a lot of people whose names aptly describe their characters, such as a man named Cruelty. The man, with the on-the-nose name of Christian, manages to escape his hometown but then narrowly escapes being drowned in a swamp and killed off by snipers. Can he survive long enough to get the heavy burden off his back, or will he die like many others who have attempted this journey? --- Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/talesfromsacredtexts/support

Watch anti-Semites get their comeuppance as the corrupt but somewhat incompetent Haman, who loves being worshipped and has it in for the Jews, makes a easily hateable villain as he meets his doom at the hands of the people who he tried to destroy.  --- Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/talesfromsacredtexts/support

Two men believe that the church is corrupt and start preaching Jesus Christ. Unsurprisingly, the traditionalists don't like it, and order the two men tortured to death. The brave men refuse to give up their beliefs, choosing instead to suffer death. Little do the corrupt officials know that they have lit the fire that started the Protestant Reformation. --- Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/talesfromsacredtexts/support

A oddly-dressed traveling prophet convinces Jehu to overthrow Ahab's dynasty, which he does with a combination of crazy driving, intimidation, trickery, and throwing a woman out a window. Jehu then suspiciously invites all of his enemies to a big event, but will he be able to pull off the Biblical version of the Red Wedding? --- Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/talesfromsacredtexts/support