Cantankerous Podcast

How lazy can you be to get Taco Bell delivered directly to your face? Just go outside and lay down in traffic.  This week we post up at Walmart one more time and have ourselves a ball.  Merry Christmas y'all. 

HO HO HO! It's ugly christmas sweater season and you are a weapons grade nit wit for wearing one.  There's been one cool christmas sweater in the last decade and Walmart had to pull it off the shelves.  Learn what to wear and what not to wear from two guys in a big black van. We also can tell you a person's entire back story based on what drink they order.

Any adult male caught wearing mittens gets an icy snowball upside the head.  No questions asked.  Enjoy the podcast with your warm hands while you can, cuz your time is up.   You're suspect. 

In this week's episode, Brian and Danny decide it's time to take the Cantankerbus on a little trip to the dark side.  They pull up outside of America's superstore and have a debate about what lies just inside those big shiny doors.  Danny makes a strong argument about the quality of the produce while Brian vehemently disagrees.  They find some middle ground when talking about super fat people in scooters and all the world is right again. 

Grab life by the giblets this week as we celebrate another Cantankersgiving.  Rub some squash all over your lady and get weird. Throw away that homemade cranberry sauce and take it in the Can!  Happy Thanksgiving from Danny and Bglow

We hop in the creep mobile and venture down the dusty trail.  We learn a lot about life and Brian tells us about being sick at rehab.  Enjoy the ride along!

You know there's a time in your life when you looked down and saw someone's fat ankle meat spilling over the top of their New Balance.  A moment like that will stick with a person.  You think you've forgotten all about it until your two favorite grouches bring it up on a podcast and you are instantly brought back to that place in time.  

This week we have comedian Derek Furtado in the Cantankerbus!  Derek is a writer, filmmaker, performer and all around hilarious human being.  It starts light, we talk about more Florida stores and then we have a meaningful conversation about his family situation that could be helpful to those of you that are navigating similar paths.  This one is a gem so enjoy! 

"...And all the ghouls this side of hell.." get outta here with that bullcrap.  Ain't nobody got time for that Vincent Price.  Brian sends a rotting, decomposing middle corpse finger up to an american treasure.  We learn about Danny's favorite people with a trip down Alligator Alley with nothing but a pink bic razor and some Barbasol.  We also throw our entire support behind a vigilante who is trying to clean up Florida one sex offender at a time! 

This week we dive into a news article from ABC that Brian found about a little girl who was adopted from the Ukraine and tried to murder her entire family! We discuss the best names in Rock and Roll history and ponder the question "Why don't people dress up anymore?" This is Danny and Bglow's 80th episode!  Enjoy

The Cantankerous Podcast rose from the ashes of the Boston Comedy Podcast that was created by fellow comics Danny Kelly and Alex Giampapa.  The decided it was time to have their friend Brian Glowacki on as a guest.  The rest is history.  Brian moved them from Danny's windy backyard and into a nice warm basement studio and tried to make them all sound good.  They stopped talking strictly about comedy in Boston and began to look inward at the things that made them tick.  Here is a glimpse into the past, a trip down memory lane for you avid cantankerites.  

Danny is fired up this week about the most disgusting type of bread on the planet.  Toasted Ciabatta bread.  It's basically hardtack from a whaling ship.  The guys get wound up about a whole slew of topics as per usual. 

Oompa loompa doompadee dee these little dudes are in the illuminati.  There is no other logical explanation for the goings on at that factory of death.  In this week's candy coated episode we discuss some of our favorite things, like rappers losing all their money and athletes going completely broke.  Brian comes up with the ONLY way that the Pro Bowl will ever become watchable and Danny thinks that idea is stupid. 

Brian returns home from a festival in Flagstaff Arizona and recounts the time he spent with an exterminator who doubles as a southern pastor.  We discuss Danny's temper on road trips and so much more! Enjoy! 

Danny gets put on the spot this week as Brian fires some tough questions at him.  We take on the tough topics, like who's got better wine? Olive Garden or Applebee's?  We also talk about Shane Gillis unceremonious departure from SNL and discuss our carbon footprint when it comes to making other people feel like dirt.  

Danny Kelly would walk 100 miles to get to third base, but would he ride a bicycle? You'll have to listen to this week's episode to find out.  We learn from Brian about the patented "Sniff and Beat"  This episode was recorded Live from the Cantankerbus and I know you'll enjoy it! 

Imagine if you will, a world where kids would play outside with no adult supervision whatsoever.  Children are free to roam the streets and make up their own adventures with no regard for their own health or safety.  In this episode we learn about another side of our old pal Bglow as he takes us through his insane childhood being raised in a junkyard on Nantucket Island.  From flipping cars to dangerous sledding stories, this one has it all!  Join Danny and Brian as they navigate the treacherous waters of their mischievous childhoods. 

Danny makes an outlandish claim about songs that include whistling.  Brian finds a flaw in Danny's logic and they meet in the middle!  Brian tells about a time where he was almost an absolute creep.  It gets gross.  

Every male gynecologist is an absolute creep.  Brian's baby showed up and things got interesting.  Dr. Kelly decides which type of doctor he would be and we discuss Eddie Murphy making his return to standup on Netflix.