Crappy Friends

Learning to stand up for yourself in a firm, polite way is a life skill the Ladies WISH they'd learned in their twenties (or before). But it's not too late! Plus, what does one do with prechewed food? An #EmbarrassingPersonalProblem from a listener!

Friend overreacting? Not invited to a wedding? The Ladies take on some of the more straightforward friend questions, and Kristan admits an embarrassing fact (Joss is shocked. Shocked, we tell you).

What DOES one do when a friend can't stop bringing up her divorce years after the fact? When she cries if you mention your anniversary? When she brings all conversation back to her and her ex? A few brisk slaps? A gift certificate for counseling? The Ladies discuss compassion, compassion fatigue and when to take a friend aside for a little chat.

We all screw up. The Ladies break down the elements of an apology and why it can change take a friendship on life support and make it happy and healthy once more.

When your life circumstances change, shouldn't your friends stand with you through the tumult? They're not really judging you on a change in social status, are they? Could it be something else? The Ladies discuss patterns, support, compassion fatigue and Joss miraculously turns an Embarrassing Personal Problem into a moment of Grace, Poise and Elegance. As she does.

Such a direct question! The Ladies answer a young letter writer who sees red flags in a person but is also tied to them through a graduate program. How do you balance being a good classmate and also watch out that you don't get stuck in a toxic friendship? Plus, updates on Kristan's hideous leg, and some all-too-personal problems from Joss.

What makes us seek out friends who are almost guaranteed to hurt us? Who have a track record of ghosting, dropping friends, bad behavior? Is it, as the letter writer suggests, "the broken in me seeing the broken in you"? The Ladies discuss how to share some of the more difficult times of your life without info-dumping too early in a friendship, and being able to identify as more than a survivor or victim.

The Ladies hear back from some letter writers of episodes past with updates on their situations. Plus, a brave physical education teacher shares her #Embarrassing Personal Problem involving a condom and a missing, er…tool.

The slippery slope of friendship when money is a part of it. Years and years of devotion can disintegrate, just like that, and leave you shocked and hurt. The Ladies also discuss the overuse of certain words, like toxic and trigger. Plus, Kristan's sainted mother provides another #EmbarrassingPersonalProblem, bless her.

Why does your friend always assume you're too busy for her? Why does she say things like, "I know you're better friends with Dolores (not her real name)...are you sure you want to hang out with little old me?" Is it insecurity or an attention grab? Plus, Joss discusses her gains in Grace, Poise and Elegance (#GPE2019).

You've gone and done it, and you know it. Friends behaving badly, and in public no less. How can you come back from your less-than-finest moment(s)? The Ladies discuss sucking it up, the art of the apology, and reach back into Kristan's childhood for an Embarrassing Personal Problem.

Your friend has completely misunderstood something you said, and things are not as they once were. How can you come back from that? Should you try? Is there a hidden message here? Plus, Kristan discusses the difficulty of listening to a friend's sad story whilst also being desperate for the ladies' room in #EmbarrassingPersonalProblems, and Joss (irritatingly) continues her year of grace, poise and elegance.

Can you become close with someone you've never met? How do you transition from online pals to friends in real life? What if real life doesn't match up with your online image of a person? The Ladies discuss at length!

One of these friends is not like the other, and it's starting to irritate. When should you be concerned about a friend who doesn't seem to take care about how she looks? Does it matter? Plus, the Ladies discuss their own mothers and the lessons learned (or not learned) about presentation, and Kristan's fixation on being Tim Gunn's best friend.

Is everyone hanging out without you? Why? What did you do wrong? You've tried to be such a good pal, but there they are, and here you are. The Ladies discuss what might be going on. Plus, Joss's year of Grace, Poise and Elegance (GPE) continues as she manages not to fall down a creaky staircase.

Sometimes, you really like someone, but she's keeping you in the B-list friend zone. How to pick up on cues, address vague answers and see if maybe there's nothing wrong with a friend who's not your bosom buddy.

"It's the old wound, my king. It has never healed." Yes, yes, Kristan needs to stop watching Excalibur, it's true, but those old wounds can really suck, as Lancelot knows. And why? WHY? You were a good friend, and then she dumped you. Now you might run into her, and the thought makes quake in terror at the anticipated conversation. The Ladies offer advice, and Kristan talks about Econo-Shaving in #EmbarrassingPersonalProblems.

She raised the one you love…and yet she might be the end of your relationship and the start of your prison sentence. The Ladies discuss boundaries, passive-aggressiveness, holidays and the whole messy schmere.

Are your friends hanging out without you? Sometimes, absolutely. The Ladies discuss how to overcome FOMO, loving solitude, and the joys of NOT being there all the time. Plus, a listener shares her epic #EmbarassingPersonalProblem.

The Ladies have said it again and again: vetting a person before jumping into a friendship is NECESSARY, dude. But what does that mean? Using Kristan's anal-retentive checklist, the Ladies give you things to look for, things to do, and things to think about.