Sitting Under A Tree

It's been raining like crazy all morning and I've been sitting in my lounge room recording this, I couldn't be happier! Dragon Dreaming at the weekend was AMAZING!! I watched a group of guys steal some hippie's boat while high on ketamine, did an amazing show, and got punched in the face by a lady on the train back from NSW - what a time to be alive.

I recorded sitting on my front porch this week, out amongst the nature, the birds, the wind, the men walking up my driveway asking to look at the tree in the back because the landlord wants to take it down. Beautiful stuff. Mum was here visiting on the weekend, and my friends kept telling me they were going to have sex with her. None of them managed, I don't think. Also Blake's chain came just after I finished recording, so things are looking up for him.

Yeah our fridge is completely fucked, this is a nightmare, I can still hear it droning now. What have I got in there? some bacon, a few veggies, a bit of leftover fried rice, some cheese, soda water... not much, I guess most of that will be okay. I'll have to cook the bacon tonight though. God damn it, and now we'll have to get a new fridge and get it here and that's going to be a whole other hassle. This blows.

Good week. Great week! Orange party, dance concert, found an old notebook, got a bunch of tram fines. Today I sang a song from my friend Naomi's dance performance that I assume is called 'Gay or European', then laughed about it a lot. Also if anyone knows a bar job in Melbourne I can get with minimal to no effort, honestly, I will fucking do it. 

Have you ever thought that meditation apps might be a covert tool to fill our minds with terrorist doctrine? Me neither. I'm back in Melbourne and Nike are still treating me like their personal whipping bitch - lucky I've not let it get to me. I feel happy. Fine. everything's all bubbly.

I recorded this sitting on the concrete floor at Sydney Airport because some bucket hat motherfucker wanted to sit next to me on the floor to eat his Krispy Cremes. Only a few hours until I'm finally back in Melbourne for the first time properly since June and god damn am I excited. I just ate some McDonalds, my flight leaves in a few hours, I might go for a floor-nap in a second to be honest.

BONUS PODCAST EPISODE A couple weeks ago I sat down with my mate Milo Edwards and chatted about his time living in Russia and performing stand up on Russian TV. Honestly what an insane sounding country, but hearing these stories makes me really want to go myself. Milo has a podcast called Trashfuture which if you're into politics you'll love. My Mum doesn't really like it, but she's basically a fascist anyway.

Careful at the start of this one, I got real excited and played the chorus of September Rose by Cailin Russo on my phone and sang to it, then stopped it and started shouting hahahaha. I dunno man, I'm in a good mood, I'm back in Australia, staying in a hotel with my boy Blakey, and shit is all okay. This was a great pod.

I realised, while doing this podcast, that I'm in a bit of a shitty mood. Maybe it's the lack of sleep because my friends' baby kitten was meowing all night, or maybe it's seeing them stressed because they're going to have to give him back, or maybe it's the fucking awful show I saw last night, or the coke I did on Saturday? I have no idea, but I think getting angry helped eventually. I hope you're all good.

At the end of this recording I finished my tea and went to put it down on the table but missed and hit it against the glass of water I'd poured for myself, it made a crisp ding sound like the end of a meditation tape, and I like to think that this week's pod might have a similar effect on you. I'm feeling very good today, and I've been listening to a bunch of good music and reading a lot recently too. Oh shit I just realised it's September 11! FUCK!!

I forgot to make myself a tea at the start of this pod, so got up with my laptop mid-recording and made one in the kitchen. It was touch and go there for a second, real duck-under-the-table stuff, but we made it. I'm in a good mood because I found new music and the sun is out in Edinburgh.

I'm still sitting in the Wetherspoons pub where I recorded this episode, fuck it's so loud, but I managed to cancel out the background noise because I'm a computer hacking genius. Also I managed to solve racism in this episode by pointing out that the term World Music contains the assumption of whiteness as a status quo. You're welcome.

I woke up at 10:30am to record this pod, which doesn't sound like a feat of any importance, but trust me it was hard. You should be impressed, I am. I'm a good boy, and today I talk about that among various other stories from the weekend at the Edinburgh Fringe. Today is the mid-point of the festival, and I'm feeling optimistic. COMEDY!!

Remember when I said I wasn't going to do any podcasts during the Edinburgh Fringe? I lied. Today I'm a pathetic little sadboy fuckhead, and I talk about that for a while, before finally finding joy in the absurd concept of A Magician. I feel a little better now.

I just spent like 45 minutes screaming at my computer trying to get my books ordered for my Edinburgh Fringe Show. It's sorted now, and this week's pod was a great way to let off some steam after that ordeal - and that's what it was guys, AN ORDEAL!! I'm so excited for the Fringe to start, keep your eyes out for the daily podcast starting in the next few days.

Oh man, fuck yeah I just had a beautiful, cathartic rant about some piece of shit at the show I was on last night. Dude was A COMIC! And heckled another comic because of a joke he made that he didn't like - and not just at an open mic, at a show with an audience of SEVENTY PEOPLE!! Eugh. That was good to get off my chest, and I didn't even realise it was eating me up until I started talking about it. Also some other stuff.

FRANCE WON THE WORLD CUP!! And I was in Paris when it happened!! Oh my god, amazing. The next day I jumped on a bus to Berlin, which is where I'm at now. Highlights: watching an Australian couple cry because they booked their bus on the wrong day, seeing Americans waste money on water, and this beautiful, beautiful German woman who's letting me stay at her place.

Sorry in advance for the sound quality this week, I'm a double-fuck dumb lord and left my microphone in London when I flew to Dublin on Sunday morning because I only took one bag to avoid paying for an extra luggage allowance. The positive upshot of that decision though, is that YOU CAN HEAR THE LOVELY DUBLIN TRAMS!! Also you can hear me talk about the last week of the World Cup, and sing Three Lions again. Fuck yeah.

I'm in LONDON! The eagle has landed! That's me, I'm an eagle. Sitting under a tree, in a cemetary in South East London. Laptop case under my butt so I don't get twigs on my pants. The pants that I wear over my clawed legs - I'M STILL AN EAGLE!! It's been a great few days so far, and I'm super excited about this summer in Europe.

I'm leaving for the UK in less than 48 hours and I'm getting real pumped for it, even though I just realised I have a 26-hour layover in fucking Manila, Philippines. FUCK! The World Cup has been fantastic though, and I talk about that some more, as well as a special announcement for August.