Kate, Tim & Marty

This week on Four The Record: Jimmy Kimmel is back after a four day hiatus, but did it actually achieve anything?  PLUS! Does Asutralia really need the US as an ally?  LINKS Follow Tim Blackwell on Instagram Follow Joe Hildebrand on Instagram Read Joe's column in The Daily Telegraph Listen to The Real Story With Joe Hildebrand  See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Jimmy Kimmel’s back after a week off, getting teary then cracking Tylenol jokes with Glen Powell and Sarah McLachlan in tow. Macron had to call Trump for help in NYC before walking half an hour with his security team. We ranked Aussie insults like “calm ya farm” and “settle, petal,” Fallon took a swing at Kimmel, Rihanna and A$AP joked about fans hating the baby breaks, Simon Cowell clapped like a T-Rex, and the Jonas Brothers reunited with The Veronicas. Oh, and one Aussie legend replaced her car mirror with a pink makeup compact.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

What’s your go-to insult, betch? Today we dived into the art of Aussie patronising zingers, from “ride-o chief” to “ease up, turbo” and the classic “calm your farm.” Things got spicy when listeners jumped in with their favourites, including one that had us questioning the entire sperm race. We also crowned “that sounds like a you problem” as the ultimate corporate mic drop. Honestly, insults have never sounded so polite… and so brutal.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Today’s glossys were stacked. Jimmy Kimmel is officially back after his suspension, with a star-studded petition and Howard Stern firing up about censorship. Then came the tea from The View — Sherri Shepherd revealed she and Rosie O’Donnell were on $3 million back in 2007, while Joy Behar and Elisabeth Hasselbeck were pulling in just $750K. Over in Swiftie-land, Travis Kelce’s mum is pushing hard for grandkids, while Jason Kelce jokes he’s still number one thanks to his kids. And finally, Charli XCX tied the knot with Matty Healy from The 1975, complete with crowd-surfing, DJ sets, and even a cigarette platter with custom matches — forget candy buffets, this wedding went full rockstar.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Today we kicked off with burgers taking over the world, and yes, Australia flexed with three making GQ’s top 15. Charrd in Melbourne, The Gidley and Next Door in Sydney were all bringing the beef heat, with Neil Perry’s place taking the crown as the highest-ranked Aussie burger. Whoopi finally spoke up about Jimmy Kimmel on The View, reminding us that no one silences her, while over 400 celebrities signed a petition to get Jimmy back on air after his suspension. We also had a holy wine chugging moment, Byron Schlenker showing off the world’s largest tongue, and Sherri Shepherd spilling salary tea from her The View days. Travis’ mum is on a mission, Matty Healy crowd surfed at Charli xcx’s wedding, and Ibiza clubs are selling fake receipts for €10,000 so you can “look rich” without the hangover. Absolute chaos, betch.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Today was all about burgers – and we went in hard. GQ dropped their list of the best burgers in the world, with three Aussie contenders making the cut. Naturally, it turned into a full-blown burger-off with the team (and the callers) throwing down their personal faves, from Mary’s in Newtown to Fergburger in Queenstown. Things got messy with talk of truffle aioli, fake meat, Splendour burger runs, and even Albo’s beloved Frango’s. Safe to say, we were starving by the end.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Today on the pod, Ricki’s revealing icks from around the world – from “ibi-boo-boo” to Dune deep dives gone way too far. She also hints a cheeky reunion with Jessica Mauboy could be on the cards. We get fired up about a mum whose kid got sent home for having cheese and crackers in his lunchbox (seriously?). In the Glossy’s, Trump Jr cops it from his dad over memes, Elton John loses a bet and a house key, and Camila Cabello sings at a wedding. Plus, Gen Z’s new “soft clubbing” trend, Harry Styles’ marathon alter ego, and Prince Harry’s royal bow-down demands for Meghan.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

A mum has gone viral after being told to pick up her son from school—because he had cheese and crackers in his lunchbox. Little George is a fussy eater, and that’s his go-to snack, but his new teacher banned it for not being “healthy enough.” Mum Rachael was fuming, arguing that cheese and crackers are better than nothing, and slammed the school’s snack rules as completely over the top.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

In today's Mailbag, our listener Tamara is begging for a Ricki-Lee & Jessica Mauboy reunion... and Ricki may just have some good news!See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Today we learned that kids can’t read analogue clocks anymore – one poor student even thought 9:58 was “9:8.” Then in a police interrogation, a suspect accidentally let one rip right as he was being charged… earning Priyanka Chopra’s old nickname “Farty Chopra” a comeback. Over in the Glossys: Jimmy Kimmel’s suspension has Colbert, Letterman and Fallon all up in arms, Reese Witherspoon does a killer Nicole Kidman impression, and Cardi B’s flogging CDs from a car boot with Gayle King. Oh, and Snoop Dogg says Stevie Wonder is the only artist he’d ever need, while Benson Boone’s cameraman got arrested for literally taking the piss in a Florida shop.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Glossys time! Taylor Swift is rumoured to be dropping a secret movie next month to go with her brand-new album. Meanwhile, Hollywood is buzzing—Jimmy Kimmel’s suspension has other late-night hosts like Letterman, Colbert and Fallon weighing in on censorship. Reese Witherspoon’s gone full Nicole Kidman in a spot-on impression, and Cardi B’s flogging CDs from the boot of a car with Gayle King riding shotgun.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

A teacher put his students to the test—read an analogue clock in three seconds for bonus marks. The result? Chaos. Half the class guessed wrong, mixing up the hands, shouting times like “10:5” and “9:8.” The clip’s gone viral and now everyone’s arguing: is telling time on an old-school clock becoming a lost skill in the TikTok age?See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Jimmy Kimmel’s comments about Charlie Kirk have reportedly gotten his show pulled off air indefinitely, and Donald Trump is claiming Jimmy Kimmel Live! is officially canceled. Meanwhile, Jerry from Ben & Jerry’s leaves the company, and it’s now just Ben’s Ice Cream. In the Glossy’s, Colin Farrell admits Margot Robbie turns him on. Justin Bieber bags a solo $10M Coachella deal and prays over his beard, and Travis Kelce is already spilling Swiftie wedding tea. We get obsessed with Trump’s state visit—Kate next to Trump at dinner? Camilla and Melania at the same table? The crowns, the jewels, the menu?! Plus, Kris Jenner’s MAC stunt goes viral, Elton John turns his kneecaps into jewellerySee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Josh Szeps - Australian media personality drops in for a round of Quick Draw!  See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

In todays Glossy’s, Queen Camilla reportedly shuns Princess Kate during a conversation with Melania outside Windsor Castle, while Colin Farrell shares a light-hearted story praising Margot Robbie and her kindness on set. Justin Bieber lands a $15 million Coachella deal and jokes about his beard growth on Instagram. Plus, Travis Kelce gives a glimpse into his wedding planning with Taylor Swift during a chat on his podcast.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

This week on Four The Record: Joe explains who Charlie Kirk was and why everyone is losing their minds over his assassination.  PLUS! Is Taylor Swift a sociopath?  LINKS Follow Tim Blackwell on Instagram Follow Joe Hildebrand on Instagram Read Joe's column in The Daily Telegraph Listen to The Real Story With Joe Hildebrand  See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

A bloke in Kansas robbed a bank just to escape his wife, only to get sentenced to home confinement right back where he started. Meanwhile, a giant alligator in Florida caused chaos by strutting across an intersection like it owned the place. In the Glossy’s, Sabrina Carpenter teases her Coachella headline set, Lindsay Lohan Photoshops herself into her meals, Colin Farrell drops an F-bomb over Taytos, and Selena & Benny’s wedding sounds bougie as hell. We also heard the wildest racehorse names, ranked the craziest My Strange Addictions (yes, including eating ashes), and spun the Wednesday Wheel for a country edition of Povo.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

The Glossy’s were busy! Sabrina Carpenter promised Coachella domination, Lindsay Lohan literally edited herself into her meals, Colin Farrell let an F-bomb fly over a Tayto sandwich, and Selena & Benny’s wedding plans sound fancier than a royal affair.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Kamala Harris says no thanks to AirPods, Ed Sheeran reveals plans for a posthumous album, and one Italian woman proves you don’t need a groom to have a wedding. Plus, in the Glossy’s, we’re talking Meryl and Marty rumours, Jake G surprises, Zayn on Wicked, YUNGBLUD spilling secrets, and a Bollywood star’s floral fine at Aussie customs. Oh, and wait ‘til you hear about the neighbour wars—someone needs to chill.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

An Italian woman has officially tied the knot—with herself. Fitness trainer Laura Mesi threw a full wedding with 70 guests, a white gown, bridesmaids, and a three-tier cake, declaring she was done waiting around for men. The self-marriage isn’t legally binding, but she says it proves her happiness doesn’t depend on anyone else.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.