Stinker Madness - The Bad Movie Podcast

Christian Slater is a skateboarding detective who will stop at nothing to solve the murder of his adopted brother, including using his dead bro's ex, complicity in manslaughter and traffic violations. Traffic violations!!! So Brian (Christian Slater) is a teenage punk whose only outlet in life is some serious thrashing on his skateboard. When his brother gets fired from his video store job for looking into his boss's medical supply business invoices, he ends up accidentally murdered by a guy choking him with a towel. When THAT guy ends up accidentally murdered, Brian goes on a investigation with the power of his skateboarding. This sounds like its awesome and well....it is. BUTTTTT it takes so long to get going that you're gonna be pretty disappointed for the first 30 minutes. However, once that ball gets rolling - hold on to your trux because things get really awesome at the end. We're still not really sure what the crime plot is, Steven Bauer stinks pretty hard, and the stunts are fantastic. Gleaming

The 90's most Xtreme dude finds himself on an erupting ski slope. We're gonna shred some gnar over that volcano right? Well....no. What we've got here is another Zombeavers. You want to talk about a great premise and setup for a fun disaster film that you won't ever forget? This is it. Dan Cortese in the late 90's on the slopes. A volcano surrounded by snow ready to blow. A deadbeat dad that doesn't care if his son is dead. A character named Stan in a volcano movie!!! Yet, Dan doesn't shred the slopes and jump over the volcano. The volcano and snow face off is vague and stupid. When the deadbeat dad gets his justs deserts its unclear if he even dies. And Stan does NOT ever chuck a man. Booooo.... Seriously this could have been as successful as Sharknado (and its 5 sequels) 16 years ahead had they just got away from the Meredith Baxter Burney formula of made-for-tv movies. I guess ABC wasn't willing to put any mustard behind their content back in '97.  Why take a chance with your movie de

In our final not movies episode before we get back to normal shenanigans with Jackie, we discuss Matrix Resurrections, The Man in the High Castle, Philip K Dick, NBA and some followups to our top 10 list from last episode.

Sam and Justin rake Doc Strange over the coals, Moon Knight gets a spoiler-free review, Antlers and Forever Purge fail to impress.

In this week's show, we get a request for the best movies of the last ten years. Sam and Justin do a deep dive of the last decade in cinema with a few surprises.

Nic Cage plays Nick Cage and that's about all the trailer tells you about this. Its so much more than you think it is. If ogres are like onions, UWOMT is the state fair winner of onions stuffed inside of the Earth's core. Even a hardcore Nic Cage fan (hello!) will have to watch this three or four times to peel away each layer of self awareness and subtle statements and meta, meta, meta. Its too deep to even get into without ruining it in a silly blog review. Yet, somehow it breaks all the rules of a layered film as its incredibly accessible to the masses. It shouldn't work as it has something for everyone including the film snobs and the casual popcorn eater and yet says directly in the dialogue that a movie such as that cannot work. Its like if Salvador Dali painted naked ladies holding American flags atop tanks that are shooting at Martian invaders. Nic is great. I mean really truly great. Fantastic. Pedro Pascal is great. Everyone is great. Whatever, stop reading this. Just go watch this movie. You don't

Sam and Justin take on Don't Look Up, Everything Everywhere All at Once, Spooky Spaceships, changing the name of the Midwest, and actual bad teaching methods (not talking to you, Florida)

This episode Sam and Justin discuss Winning Time, giant ice cubes, Justin fixes his audio, the Snyder Cut, HBO, and the greatest art thief in the history of world.

This week Justin and Sam discuss Coda, The Bear, STAG beer for dinner, Chunky Brunch, Hawkeye, The Witcher, Reba and TBS ruining TV for everyone, Zach Snyder and a sad story about Fight Club in space.

As a special bonus episode Sam and Tucker go on a tirade about The Wheels of Time and how much life sucks now that Justin and Jackie are MIA.

In our first episode of our weird moving hiatus, Justin and Sam discuss exposed butts but not faces, living in Illinois, why Wyoming blows, the Oscars and wheeled hard-ons.

Ex-Surfer and shirtless hunk Rick struggles with whether to continue on doing the thing he's too old for but loves or to not have sex with the 17 year old. See what I did there? Welcome to the Baywatch Prequel. I mean seriously, this is just Baywatch right or the other way around? The story follows Mitch, I mean Rick, who is now 32 and still a beach bum lifeguard. So he has to make a choice: enter the suit-and-tie world of schmucks or keep on guarding and facing ridicule from society. Along the way, he takes on a new trainee (Parker Stevenson - yup THAT Parker Stevenson) who is attending college in the fall (possibly law school?), gets himself into a school girl crush/statutory rape situation, hooks up with an ex who is way out of his league and loses a lifeguard decathlon because he's getting too old for this shit. All this while sprinkled with various lifeguard activities that will one day become plot lines for entire episodes of Baywatch.  This kinda sounds like a good time, doesn't it? Well it

Kris and Preston find themselves having to work with Patrick Muldoon's hair to break up a diamond heist in Jakarta. Do they ever realize their unstated attraction? Does the US government see rewards for sending a high school teacher as a double agent? Can Richard Norton get his pants higher? No to all. While Rage and Honor was a bit of a disappointment for its under utilized shenanigans, the sequel manages to go all in. Its not that they turned the amps to 11 because this feels like its own standalone piece that's unrelated in all ways to its predecessor. Tonally different and chock full of nanners, this is an absolute blast from start to finish. It starts with Cynthia Rothrock smashing her co-workers balls and ends with Patrick Muldoon falling off a crane in comedic fashion and never lets off the gas throughout. While its high nanners, its also a hell of a riffer. This is a great Sunday with the buds movie as the "plot" is paper thin and so requires little attention. When you're not lampooning the fil

Its a cornball karate team-up in a hunt for a video tape that can clear the name of an Aussie cop who has no reason for being there in the first place. Will they fall in love? Will they save the life of their friend? Can anyone explain Brian Thompson's hair? The answer is no to all. So things are fairly typical for a DTV karate movie of this era. You've got your standard karate revenge plot. You've got a female/male will they/won't they standard. You've got shirtless dudes punching it out. The pacing is on key with an alarm that rings "karate fight" when its been about 15 minutes of actual plot development. And of course, there are whoosh sounds when ever anyone reaches for a cup of coffee. What makes Rage and Honor stand out, if you're brave enough to say that, is the leads. All 3 (Rothrock, Norton and Thompson) are pure dorks. None are cool. I wouldn't hang out with any of them. Its like all this drama is happening but no one around it cares because its like "oh, just let those little dorks fight it

Gator McClusky is back to punch dudes and kiss ladies. This time he's gotta bust his buddy Roy from the first movie. Oh that's not Roy? That's Jerry Reed? Huh. So as discussed the primary problem with the first film, White Lightning, is its tonally all over the place. Its a goofy car chase movie. Its a murder revenge against a corrupt elected official. Its a sexy time in the swamp. Gator doesn't suffer from that. Thematically, its much more focused. Jerry Reed's Bama McCall is a bit of a goofy villain more in line with James Bond than a Michael Mann movie. You don't feel too icky about him. He's a low level crook running a protection racket and whooores. He's NOT Ned Beatty who is nuts and murders college kids for political dissent. He just likes doing the crimes. That's the level of villain you want for a goofy car chase movie, where the ladies love the handsome guy and cats go on burglaries. Hal Needham, of course, knocks the stunts out of the park, including one where he almost died (again) jum

Burt Reynolds faces off against Ned Beatty as the most frightening and real villain one can imagine. His method of vengeance? Crashing cars and banging ladies! White Lightning is a cornerstone of what would happen for the rest of the 70's. Mostly Burt Reynolds in cars and doing his silly laugh. But really its influence goes so much farther than that. It sprinkles into trucking movies, Dirty Mary Crazy Larry, Walking Tall, and anything that involves cars and bayous moving forward. Some of that is Hal Needham's stunt work, some of it is Burt's charm, but really it seems like it was just the natural filmic direction that matched the post-Civil-Rights-Movement and late Vietnam war culture of America. Thankfully, White Lightning is low on cringe that a lot of its contemporaries suffer from. Burt's chauvinism is at a minimum (somewhat) and you learn throughout the film that really Burt is taking vengeance against oppression against free speech and political dissent. Its a weird backdrop to a film t

The moon is falling! Deploy Operation: Duck and Poo Yourself. Roland Emmerich takes us on another destroy Earth roller coaster, but does he capture the any of his past or is this just another Midway? So the moon is a big space base and because of rogue nanobotic AI trying to destroy mankind, it sucks up all the moons power supply like a Tesla's battery going uphill and causes it to plummet towards Earth. So with what minimal resources can be mustered, a disgraced astronaut, the director of NASA and Art Bell's nephew must fly to the moon and punch that AI in the mouth! Seems legit. Lets move on. What works here: the insane visuals. We're very accustomed to seeing Roland Emmerich destroying New York time after time after time. Its become quite stale, right? Well what changes here is that he learned how composition works. The shots are beautiful rather than just visual effects crammed. So expect to see something new, in something old. There's also the right amount of light heart in the adventuring, its no

Samuel L and Robert Carlyle team up in this drug/money caper/heist that looks like a Ritchie/Boyle knock-off/bandwagon romp/joint. We'll be leaving/running away now. Uh......it sucks. I would love to say that this is an undiscovered gem that the critics harpooned because it was ahead of its time (much in the same manner as they treated Snatch) and that this will become your new favorite movie. I can't say that. The critics got it right. Its vapid, cloney and drivel. Look, I can't fault anyone here though. I watched Lock, Stock and Two Smoking Barrels and Snatch back to back in college and thought that I was Bullet-Tooth Tony for about 2 years. I got hit in the face a lot and deserved most of it. So when you see a script that is a British crime caper in 2000, I really can't fault you for wanting to be involved. And everyone involved goes all in on this. I can't pick on anyone. Its just the fault of wanting to do a film like this and having no business doing such a film. Its just the nature of art.

An aged Charlie Bronson finds himself having to stop a sex-trafficking pimp by giving him a new diet and having a Borderlands boss fight set piece at the end. So its Tuesday! What I don't enjoy about this film is that has no business existing. This is a perfect example of something that happens far too often in film. Its two movies. A dark, horrific look at the world of a Vice officer who struggles to do his job not because he hates the beat but he seems himself so little differently than he sees his perps. He masks all this self-loathing with racism until he finds himself having to find the daughter of a foreign national who molested his own daughter. Do I do the job and save this girl or do I stand by my disgusting self hate? The other is a Cannon movie. This material is too dark and disturbing to be juxtaposed against a Charlie Bronson action movie. When you have material this heavy and dark, you gotta end up with The Deerhunter. You can't lighten it up with some one-liners and some explosions

Horny scientists in space! Everything in this movie is gross sex! Everyone has messy pants including the aliens! Ever wanted to see a xenomorphs vagina? You can now! What a pitch... Essentially, scientists want to cure disease and they think that making a human/xenomorph combo will give them the answers which has its own set of problems. BUT, instead they make some regular xenomorphs too and some Ripley abominations who tear apart a handful of scientists and Michael Wincott too early in the film. This results in the science vessel automatically crashing into the Earth at the speed of 176 million MPH causing an extinction level event and ushering in a nuclear holocaust. Thanks Ripley! While all this shakes out, we follow the path of a group of space pirates from the mess hall back to their ship. Occasionally they have to escape xenomorphs, but mostly they have hang down contests with Ripley having the biggest of hang downs. Ron Perlman's "Johner" tries his best but has met his match in big dicking by the lad