Stinker Madness - The Bad Movie Podcast

When you hire a pro, just let the pro do his job. You're still the one smart enough to hire him, lady! If you're in the mood for a festive film that perfectly encapsulates the true spirit of Christmas, look no further than Lifetime's original movie, "The Christmas Consultant," starring none other than the one and only David Hasselhoff. This holiday flick manages to blend heartwarming moments with a dash of Hoff ridiculousness, creating a unique and surprisingly delightful experience. At its core, "The Christmas Consultant" is a tale of family, love, and the magic that comes with the holiday season. The film beautifully illustrates that Christmas is a time for togetherness, and it resonates with the idea that family extends beyond blood relations. The storyline is laced with heartwarming scenes that remind us of the importance of being surrounded by loved ones, even for those who might not have a traditional family to call their own. Now, let's talk about David Hasselhoff. The Hoff, as always, brings his

An elf gets ditched by his horrible boss, Santa, and is forced to fend for his life because some bratty girl doesn't appreciate the life her father has built for her as a single dad. Oh and Jeffrey Combs! "Elf-Man," a 2012 holiday film, falls into the category of hokey family Christmas movies that attempt to capture the true spirit of the season but ultimately miss the mark. While it's not as bad as one might initially fear, it still leaves much to be desired. The film follows the escapades of an elf who teams up with a young girl to save Christmas from bad guys, a premise that has been explored countless times in various forms. Unfortunately, "Elf-Man" fails to bring anything fresh or innovative to the table. The storyline feels formulaic, and the attempts at humor often fall flat, relying heavily on clichés and predictable gags. The film's portrayal of the true spirit of Christmas feels forced and contrived. Instead of delivering a heartwarming message that resonates, "Elf-Man" opts for sentimental cli

Just because we think its nonsense doesn't mean we AND you can't like it, but seriously.... Highlander, the 1986 fantasy film directed by Russell Mulcahy, is a cinematic rollercoaster that manages to be entertaining despite its numerous flaws. To put it bluntly, it's not a good movie in terms of traditional filmmaking standards, but there's an undeniable charm and fun factor that makes it enjoyable for those who appreciate its chaotic nature. One of the major issues with Highlander is its convoluted plot. The film tries to blend elements of fantasy, science fiction, and historical drama, creating a narrative that feels like it's trying to do too much at once. The result is a confusing and overly complex storyline that often leaves viewers scratching their heads. Immortal warriors battling through the centuries could have been a compelling premise, but Highlander takes it to such extremes that it becomes a total mess. The acting in Highlander is nothing short of over-the-top, with Christopher Lambert's port

Officer Jimmy O'Neil avoids the hard life of hard-boiled cops by taking it easy and just banging ladies, until justice needs some sweet, sweet loving too. "Dirty O'Neil," released in 1974, is a film that takes you on a wild journey through the low crime streets of suburban Los Angeles. While the movie has its merits, it certainly has its drawbacks, too. Let's start with the positive aspects. The film avoids capturing the essence of the '70s cop movie, instead choosing to spend most of its time with a goofball musical score and small vignettes of casual sex adventures. The setting and atmosphere are inauthentic, immersing viewers in the smutty life of its protagonist, Jimmy O'Neil. Speaking of Jimmy O'Neil, the character portrayal by the lead actor is commendable. O'Neil is a charismatic and enigmatic figure, navigating the dangerous landscape of the mundane streets littered with hot babes with a certain flair. However, the movie's major flaw lies in its plot, or rather the lack thereof for a significant p

Don "The Dragon" Wilson is not the same guy as the first two or the last five movies. This time he's in prison and......oh sorry fell asleep. If you're searching for a thrilling martial arts experience, "Bloodfist III: Forced to Fight" ain't it. This lackluster sequel not only fails to capture the essence of its predecessors but falls flat on every front, from its uninspiring plot to its lackadaisical fight choreography. The storyline, if it can be called that, is a haphazard collection of tired tropes and predictable turns. Don "The Dragon" Wilson stars as the protagonist, but even his competent martial arts skills can't salvage the train wreck that is the script. The narrative lacks depth, originality, or any semblance of intrigue. It feels like a mishmash of recycled ideas from countless B-grade action films, making it painfully clear that creativity took a back seat during the writing process. The action sequences, touted as the film's main attraction, are a major letdown. The stunt work and fight chor

Dean Cameron is a vampire who doesn't bite people but has to relive the death of his beloved Moana who is killed every 22 years by a pirate wielding a ham-bone. But not this year, buster! "Rockula" is an absolute blast from the past that's so bad, it's fantastic! This 1990 gem takes the term 'cult classic' to a whole new level. Let's start with the music – it's so gloriously terrible that it somehow becomes insanely catchy. The tunes are like a guilty pleasure you can't help but hum along to, despite their wonderfully cheesy lyrics and over-the-top '80s vibe. The music videos? Oh boy, they're a whole different spectacle! They're wonderfully goofy, with a delightful mix of tacky special effects and absurd dance sequences that are impossible not to love. They're so hilariously bad that they loop back around to being enjoyable. Now, let's talk Tawny Fere – she's undeniably smoking hot, but her singing? Bless her heart, she can't carry a tune for the afterlife. Yet, that's part of the movie's charm! Her lack o

When going fishing goes wrong, you can always blame cicadas. Actually, just blame cicadas for everything bad. "Blood Hook," the 1986 cult classic, is a hidden gem that beautifully exemplifies the art of making the most of a shoestring budget. This film's charmingly absurd and delightful combination of elements makes it an absolute delight for fans of offbeat cinema. First and foremost, the filmmakers behind "Blood Hook" deserve commendation for their remarkable efficiency in utilizing their limited resources. The low-budget nature of the film adds a unique charm, making it even more endearing to those who appreciate a well-crafted labor of love. One of the standout aspects of "Blood Hook" is its immense riffing potential. This movie provides an abundance of opportunities for witty commentary, turning it into a riotous experience when watched with friends. The quirky characters, bizarre dialogue, and zany situations provide a never-ending source of laughter for all those who love a good riff. The plot of

First off, the plot of "Curse 3" is a rollercoaster of confusion and absurdity. It's a story that oscillates between moments of genuine intrigue and sheer head-scratching disbelief. You'll find yourself constantly asking, "Did that really just happen?" The film's unpredictability keeps you on the edge of your seat, eagerly anticipating the next ludicrous twist. The characters in "Curse 3" are unforgettable, not because of their depth or complexity, but because of their sheer audacity. From the Christopher Lee's ridiculously dubious doctoring to the over-the-top witch doctor, every performance in this film is a treasure trove of unintentional comedy. Now, I have to mention that "Curse 3" does have its flaws. It can be a bit draggy in parts, with scenes that seem to go on forever without much purpose. However, these slow moments give you ample time to catch your breath between fits of laughter, so I can't complain too much. The special effects and makeup in "Curse 3" deserve special mention. They're so glori

It's more Clueless than Blade but it sure ain't The Lost Boys. I still believe, though. "Vamps," the 2012 movie starring Alicia Silverstone and Krysten Ritter, offers a refreshing and somewhat quirky take on the vampire genre. While it may not be everyone's cup of tea (including 1/3 of Stinker Madness), it certainly has its charm, thanks to its unique spin on vampires trying to navigate the complexities of human life while grappling with their immortality. One of the most intriguing aspects of "Vamps" is its exploration of vampires living among humans. The film delves into the challenges these immortal creatures face as they strive to maintain their humanity, all while looking eternally youthful. It's a clever and thought-provoking twist on the typical vampire lore, and it adds depth to the characters' struggles and dilemmas. Alicia Silverstone and Krysten Ritter deliver charismatic performances that inject humor and relatability into their vampire characters. Their chemistry on screen makes the movi

Repo Jake is more like Limpy Tube Steak! Sorry to all who also have limpy tube steaks. This 1990 cinematic gem starring Dan Haggerty, best known for his lovable role as Grizzly Adams, takes you on a rollercoaster of hilariously bad movie goodness that you won't soon forget. It's a prime example of the "so bad it's good" category that will have you laughing, cringing, and scratching your head all at the same time. First off, let's talk about Dan Haggerty. Seeing him trade in his rugged mountain man persona for a tough-talking repo man is a treat in itself. The sheer absurdity of the casting alone is worth the price of admission. But, somehow, Haggerty manages to deliver his lines with such a straight face, or straight beard,  that you can't help but admire his dedication to the role, no matter how misguided it may seem. The plot? Well, it's a mess. "Repo Jake" follows our titular hero as he embarks on a wild adventure involving "repossessing" cars, an evil drug lord, and a demolition derby that he's a

Sean Connery puts on some Studio 54 costume, Ator rides around and Linnet gets captured but she's a bird so its ok. "The Sword of the Valiant" is a 1984 movie that attempted to adapt the timeless Arthurian legend into a cinematic experience. Unfortunately, this adaptation falls far short of capturing the magic and wonder of the source material. Here's why this film left me thoroughly disappointed: Lackluster Storytelling: The film's plot is a disjointed mess that fails to engage the audience. It veers away from the rich and intricate narrative of the Arthurian legend, opting for a dull and simplified version. The story lacks depth, character development, and emotional resonance, making it difficult to invest in the fates of the characters. Mediocre Acting: The cast, led by Miles O'Keeffe as Sir Gawain and Sean Connery as the Green Knight, delivers performances that are uninspired at best. O'Keeffe's Gawain comes across as wooden and unconvincing, while Connery's talents are utterly wasted on a ch

Mahoney and Misses Griswold fall in love with dead people who go out of their way to get them killed, while trying to save a castle from being foreclosed upon. Guess that's a thing... "High Spirits" (1988) is a film that promised so much with its intriguing premise but ultimately delivered so little. This supposed comedy is nothing more than a dull and groan-inducing exercise in wasted potential. First and foremost, the execution of the concept is painfully inept. The idea of a haunted Irish castle that attracts tourists looking for supernatural experiences had so much potential for humor, but the film squanders it at every turn. The gags fall flat, and the humor is forced and uninspired. Instead of clever and witty comedy, we're subjected to cheap, predictable laughs that leave us cringing rather than chuckling. One might think that with such a great cast, "High Spirits" could manage to salvage something from the wreckage. Unfortunately, even the talented ensemble of actors can't save this sinking ship.

Who knew that watching people gas up their cars could be such a bland experience? "Gas Pump Girls" (1979) is a film that perfectly encapsulates the epitome of mindless cinema. From its ridiculous plot to its gratuitous nudity, this movie is a prime example of how a potentially entertaining concept can be utterly wasted in practice. Let's start with the plot, or rather the lack thereof. "Gas Pump Girls" attempts to follow the misadventures of a group of scantily clad, gas station attendants as they try to save their friend's Uncle's workplace from being bankrupt after he suffers a heart attack. Think "save the youth center from being demolished". It's an inane and convoluted premise that feels like it was concocted during a late-night brainstorming session fueled by too much cheap beer. The story is a paper-thin excuse to string together a series of absurd and disconnected scenes, leaving viewers wondering if there was any point to the movie at all. One might argue that the film's saving grace is its promis

Trumpy finally hits the show and the dirt at the same time. Rick says, "It stinks!" Who asked you, Rick? Buckle up, space cadets, because "Extraterrestrial Visitors" (or should I say "Pod People") is a journey to the outer reaches of hilarity and absurdity that you won't soon forget! This gem of a film from 1980 takes you on a rollercoaster ride through a galaxy of Trumpy superpowers, dialogue that's more out of this world than the aliens themselves, and a plot that's so poorly thought out, you'll wonder if they were abducted by confusion. Let's start with the MVP of the movie: Trumpy, the otherworldly being with powers so astonishingly baffling that even the laws of physics scratch their heads. Forget about your typical superhero abilities – flight, super strength, and invisibility – Trumpy can do it all and more. From making toys levitate to turning plants into miniature disco balls (who knew flora loved to boogie?), Trumpy's talents defy explanation almost as much as the plot itself. And speaking of the

Eastwood and Sheen team-up to accomplish....nothing really. Its maybe the worst written movie we've done and that includes M. Knight Shamalamadingdong stuff. Let's start with the positives, shall we? The stunts in this movie are so over-the-top, I suspect the entire budget went into explosions and car chases. It's like they set a new record for the most pyrotechnics used in a single film! If you're in the mood for gratuitous action that defies all laws of physics, "The Rookie" delivers like a pizza on a Friday night. But now, let's talk about the dialogue. Oh boy, where do I begin? It's almost as if the screenwriters threw darts at a board filled with clichés and put them all in one script. The characters spout one-liners that even your dad would cringe at. And speaking of dad jokes, Clint Eastwood seems to be on autopilot, delivering lines with the enthusiasm of someone who's run out of coffee in the morning. Charlie Sheen's character, on the other hand, appears to be suffering from a severe case of split

Michelle Bauer stalks around LA in slinky outfits on a quest....for blood! Words, don't fail me now. One of the highlights of "The Tomb" is its nostalgic charm. The film exudes the distinct '80s vibe, complete with cheesy practical effects, low-budget sets, and a synthesizer-heavy soundtrack with corny beats and crummy lyrics that is very Fred Olen Ray.  The "plot" follows a group of "amateur gynocologists" who venture into an ancient tomb in search of hidden treasures. There, they unlock the tomb of "Nefratis" (played by the always great Michelle Bauer), an ancient mummy vampire who needs blood to stay looking like Michelle Bauer...so, hot. She is kind of thwarted by Dave (Richard Hench) and John Banning (David O'Hara) but really only because she kidnaps Dave's newfound girlfriend, Helen (Suzy Stokey). We're still not sure why she needed to kidnap her for a ritual because she doesn't need to perform rituals to stay hot, she just needs blood. Maybe pretty lady blood will make her even more hot? But com

Michael Ransom is back but this time he's Brent Huff. Yet he manages to do all the same stuff as Reb Brown and adds on Indiana Jones to his abilities. So this is an odd version of the "idiot plot". Yes it qualifies because the movie can't happen unless everyone is an idiot. But it gets weirder than that with Michael Ransom's (Brent Huff) actions. All you have to do is plant the slightest seed in Ransom's mind of something and the guy goes for it. Not only goes for it, but goes WAY overboard for it. Consider the beginning when he's told that his former commander, Vic Jenkins (played by a very out of water Richard Harris) is not dead as reported in the news and that the CIA is involved. Well instead of going through proper channels and just asking what the story is, he busts in to the office of the CIA handler and busts his family photo in his face. Maybe start with just asking questions. I mean the guy even had an appointment to meet with him. That meeting ends with a judo chop to the back. What's great is t

John Voight leads an idiot plot that ends with him being covered in goo but getting to be featured as the star of a documentary filmed by people he tried to kill. Snakes on a boat! Let's face it: "Anaconda" is not meant to be a serious film. It shamelessly embraces its own absurdity, delivering a rollercoaster of ridiculousness that CAN leave you grinning. The concept itself is delightfully over-the-top. Giant man-eating snakes lurking in the heart of the Amazon rainforest? Sign me up! From the moment the adventure begins, you're taken on a journey filled with outrageous situations, questionable decisions, and an unapologetic disregard for basic snake biology. The cast, despite their characters often behaving in the most nonsensical ways, fully embraces the campiness of the film. Jennifer Lopez and Ice Cube's performances inject a dose of energy and charm, while Jon Voight delivers a performance so delightfully Wiseau-esqe that you can't help but enjoy every minute he's on screen. The chemistry between the

Insurance fraud goes awry when The Kraken pulls down the might Argonautica and Treat Williams flies through the Death Star explosion. This movie is an absolute gem that will have you on the edge of your seat... with laughter! Picture this: a luxury cruise ship on a routine trip, a group of quirky mercenaries, a humongous tentacled monster, and chaos that ensues. If that doesn't pique your interest, I don't know what will! The plot of "Deep Rising" is as simple as it gets: a group of badass mercenaries hijacks a luxurious cruise ship with plans to loot it, only to find themselves fighting for their lives against a massive, otherworldly creature lurking in the deep, dark depths of the ocean. Yes, you read that right—monster madness, folks! Now, let's talk about this majestic beast of the deep. The creature in "Deep Rising" is like nothing you've ever seen before. It's big, it's slimy, and it has more tentacles than an octopus on steroids. And trust me, it knows how to make an entrance! The moments when it po

Bruno Mattei and Reb Brown team up to give us an unintentionally hilarious and 80's staples full action movie. Danton better watch out. Prepare yourself for a wild ride of explosive action and over-the-top hilarity with the 1987 cult classic, "Strike Commando." Starring Reb Brown, this cheesy and hilarious gem is an absolute blast from start to finish, delivering an unforgettable experience that will leave you grinning from ear to ear. "Strike Commando" is a throwback to the glorious era of '80s action cinema, where macho heroes and outrageous one-liners ruled the screen. Reb Brown's charismatic presence and larger-than-life portrayal of Sgt. Michael Ransom is nothing short of pure entertainment. With his chiseled physique and unyielding determination, Brown effortlessly embodies the quintessential action hero archetype, making every moment he's on screen a delight to watch. What sets "Strike Commando" apart from other action films of its time is its shameless embrace of its own cheesiness. The dialogue is