Selfwork With Dr. Margaret Rutherford | Self-help | Mental Health | Depression | Anxiety | Relationship Problems| Therapy

Do you know what hormonal replacement therapy is?Today's SelfWork guest is Donna White, an expert in bio-identical hormone replacement therapy. She's the recent author of "Hormone Makeover" and has also built an academy, The Bio-Identical Replacement Therapy Academy, that trains medical practitioners from all over the world about effective hormone replacement. Whether you're man or woman, in perimenopause, menopause, or post-menopause, she's got information that will help you out!Menopause can often bring depressive symptoms with it. Getting your hormones checked by a reliable practitioner or pharmacy is vital!I very much enjoyed Donna's drive and her wide range of knowledge. I've found myself quoting her and her book in the last few weeks since I interviewed her.Vital Links: Dr. Margaret's YouTube videos on perfectly hidden depression!Advertiser's Link:Click HERE for the NEW fabulous offer from AG1 – with bonus product with your subscription!You can hear more about thi

Today we’re going to talk all about blame.If you're one of the people who blame easily, if you find fault with everyone but yourself, then that's a huge problem. Or if you're in a relationship with someone who rarely if ever takes responsibility, they could be suffering with one of the Cluster B personality disorders, such as borderline or narcissism.Sadly, finding blame leads you to view life as if you’re a victim of injustice, or you're not appreciated. And justifying being angry - and staying angry - because of it.Today, we'll focus on how blame can protect you, how it can reduce you, and what you can do about it.Our listener email for today is from someone who listened to the recent podcast on grieving a parent, telling us how it affected her – so much so that she’s acting on the ideas within the episode.Vital Links: The Harley Therapy article about blameAdvertisers Link:Have you been putting off getting help? BetterHelp, the #1 online therapy provider, has a special offer for you now!

Today our focus is all about the safe psychedelic use of ketamine. And Dr. Steven Radowitz will be answering my questions.Sadly, the news of Matthew Perry’s autopsy report broke recently and revealed the absolute unethical behavior of the doctors responsible for prescribing ketamine for him. As the story evolves, in case it’s helpful, we wanted to share this content below for your consideration about the difference between at-home vs. in-person ketamine treatment.As people look for the safe psychedelic use of ketamine, Nushama Co-Founder and Chief Medical Officer Dr. Steven Radowitz has become the nation’s leading ketamine therapy doctor, having administered more than 8,000 journeys to 1,500 members over the past two years. Prior, Dr. Radowitz worked at St. Vincent’s NYC Midtown Medical Center, where he was Medical Director of the inpatient alcohol and opiate detox and treatment unit. He has been a DEA-licensed provider for buprenorphine maintenance treatment for opiate dependence for over a decade.Advertiser

Today I want to talk about how to find your purpose.One of the things I’ve been most grateful for in my life has been the sense of purpose that my work and my family have given me. And yet I know that many people don’t know what their sense of purpose is.I’m going to hope this episode helps you begin to find your purpose. The mantra of SelfWork is “what you can do about it” – and so I’ll offer specific steps for you to explore.Our listener email is from a woman from France and her comments to me about finding my TEDx on how to recognize perfectly hidden depression.Vital Links: The Harvard Research study on finding your purposeAdvertiser's Link:Try one free week of the self-hypnosis app designed by hypnosis expert Dr. David Spiegel, a Stanford psychologist. Just click this link! You can try Reveri free for 7 days and use code MARGARET to lock in a 20% exclusive discount!You can hear more about this and many other topics by listening to my podcast, SelfWork with Dr. Margaret Rutherford. Subscribe to my webs

Today's topic is on the incredible power of journaling. My communications manager, friend, and "auxiliary brain" - Christine Mathias - has chosen this week's Second Time Around episode.Here's a quick introduction!I was caught off guard the other day when in my FaceBook group, I asked them to journal about a specific topic, and someone wrote that they didn't know what journaling was. So let's talk about journaling. What is it? How is it helpful? Are there specific problems where journaling is particularly helpful? What might make it hard to do? It's an incredibly powerful tool in many instances, but there can be problems and we'll talk about what to consider as you might choose to begin.SelfWork's listener email today is from someone with perfectly hidden depression who reached out -- and didn't quite know why. She simply followed her heart and her gut -- which can be awesome to do.Thanks so much to Christine!Advertiser's Link: Click HERE for the NEW fabulous off

Do you know how to really listen? Well... you can learn.I'm out on vacation this week and my friend and incredible audio engineer John Crowley takes over the host spot, as he picks one of his favorite episodes from previous years. And this one is truly out of the distant past! Only the eighth episode I ever recorded. Wow, listening to it brought back so many memories! (Mostly how nervous I was...)But it's also a great example of how the focus here at SelfWork is "what you can do about it" as this episode is full of ideas to try and practice how to really listen. Hope you enjoy "second time around"!Advertisers Link:Have you been putting off getting help? BetterHelp, the #1 online therapy provider, has a special offer for you now!You can hear more about this and many other topics by listening to my podcast, SelfWork with Dr. Margaret Rutherford. Subscribe to my website and receive my weekly newsletter including a blog post and podcast! If you’d like to join my FaceBook closed group, then

Today we're going to talk about suicide in construction in honor of Suicide Prevention Month. Dr. Vince Hafeli, a husband, father, and construction guy, tells his very personal story of becoming suicidal and choosing to come forward to talk about healing. Vince has been a leader in the construction industry for well over 30 years; his 2023 TEDx earned the #5 highest spot in the highest number of views... worldwide. Construction, where people risk their lives every day, loses thousands of workers every year to suicide - five times the number lost through accidents on the job.And Vince wants that to stop. He wants anyone who believes that revealing emotional struggle is somehow weak or forbidden to realize there's no shame in talking. And he wants the harsh potential of not talking to sink in - that it could be you or someone you love staying silent, and losing the battle with a silent depression.Vital Links:You can reach Dr. Hafeli here!Here's the link for international suicide hotlines. Please rea

What's a good enough parent?There were many times when I was actively parenting our child that I thanked a psychology researcher named Winnicott. When he was writing (decades ago...), mothers were blamed for everything - even autism was caused by a "refrigerator mom." Winnicott came along and let moms off the hook a little bit, saying that their caring – as long as it was good enough – as long as she was consistent enough, that most children would be okay. Fathers were left out of the whole pathology-causing picture, by the way.Frankly, I had no idea how to measure “good enough” as a mom. Since it’s 2024, let’s include fathers in that equation. What makes a good enough parent? Is being good enough…. enough? We’ll talk about the answers to these questions today on SelfWork.The listener email I’m going to share today brought tears of gratitude into my eyes. It was one of the kindest I’d ever received, although your kindness toward me is something you – as listeners - often show me.Vital Links: Excel

Today’s we’re going to focus on emotional detachment and distancing. I'll explain what it is and when it's healthy - and maybe even necessary - to do just that. I'm also going to bring forward a harsh criticism of a blogpost on unconditional love that I wrote years ago, after having the experience with parents and adult children needing to distance themselves from family, sometimes painfully, sometimes with relief.What are some of the situations when emotional distancing or detachment is healthy?When expressed boundaries or basic respect for those boundaries isn’t givenWhen someone won’t take any responsibility for their hurtful actions or their impact on you or othersWhen there’s been a pattern of ‘honeymoon’ with many “I’m sorry’s” and “that’ll never happen agains” – but it doesWhen you need a break from needinessWhen others that you love and need to protect are being affected by the chaosWhen you’re getting divorcedToday’s listener email is from a woman from Poland who describes that she’s been

Today we’re focusing on the tools necessary to help you listen and "how to be there” for someone else.We'll discuss what it’s like to listen to the stories of those who trust you to create a safe space for them to talk – and what it means to “be there” for someone. What it’s like to hear things that are very hard to hear. And what it’s like to carry on with your own life as you do so. I’m going to offer a list of eleven necessary tools that I’ve learned to use over the years. What I hope is that that list is helpful to you as you go about the business of loving others and being there emotionally for them.I should say that this episode isn’t a substitute for any mental health treatment that you might choose or need.And I have two listener contacts to share with you, both of which made me smile.Vital Links: Nash Fung TEDxZazzle link for The SelfWork Mug!Advertiser's Link: Click HERE for the NEW fabulous offer from AG1 – with bonus product with your subscription!You can hear more about this and many

How would you answer the question, "How's your mental health?'If you watched the Olympics, you saw Simone Biles not only succeed wildly, but demonstrate to all the world how important maintaining her mental health has been to her. She talked openly about regular therapy sessions and the meditation practice that you could see her doing between competitions. Today we’re going to talk about the concept of mental health versus mental illness. It’s a crucial distinction – and one that I think a lot of people get mixed up. As Simone said of her departure from the Tokyo Olympics four years ago: “Nor do I have to explain why I put my health first. Physical health is mental health.”The voicemail message for today is from someone whose mother wants to treat her still as if she were a child – and tries to maintain control over her now grown daughter. I’ll have some ideas… although I’m happy to report that she’s read some of my work and that has offered her an explanation of why she’s feeling the way she does

How do you grieve a parent's death?Even older adults have told me they feel "orphaned" after both of their parents die. So imagine what can happen when a parent dies when a child is young. There are all kinds of reasons for that child to feel as if their life will never be the same - that the loss makes it impossible to recover their innocence or contentment.Today we'll hear from a listener who's describing this very dynamic. So much of what happens to a child depends on the adults around them. Yet, I offer ideas on what you can do about it as an adult yourself... as always. The death can't be changed, obviously. But how you live on, how you work through your grief, can be helped through these proactive steps.Advertiser's Link: Click HERE for the NEW fabulous offer from AG1 – with bonus product with your subscription!You can hear more about this and many other topics by listening to my podcast, SelfWork with Dr. Margaret Rutherford. Subscribe to my website and receive my weekly new

Perspective is a gift. But most of us gain our perspective from years of living and learning. Life often hands us challenges that build that perspective and that wisdom.But not too many people have two catastrophic medical conditions to cope with – and certainly not two that occurred in the span of a decade.Lindsey Roy had just that.At age 31, Lindsey Roy was named vice-president at Hallmark Cards — one of the youngest in the company’s more-than-100-year history. Her life was abruptly transformed five years later when she was nearly killed in a boating accident. Left with an amputated left leg and severe limb injuries, and facing a long and difficult recovery ahead, she was determined not just to heal, but to emerge stronger.A second blow... Eight years post-accident, fully adapted to her circumstances and genuinely thriving, Lindsey confronted the unexpected again: she was diagnosed with a rare and progressive disease that destroyed the blood vessels in her lungs, requiring a double-lung transplant. This pro

You have to acknowledge your depression in order to begin to talk about it. That may sound simple to do. But it's not quite so simple.Why? Because nobody particularly wants to realize or admit that your way of "being" has changed, without you trying to change it. And in fact, you may have become so accustomed to being somewhat depressed, that it can lull you into thinking, "Well, this is just my new normal."So today, my incredible team, Christine Mathias and John Crowley, have taken over the podcast for this week and are going to introduce you to a few clips where I talk about this very thing - acknowledging and talking about your depression.Advertiser's Link: Click HERE for the NEW fabulous offer from AG1 – with bonus product with your subscription!You can hear more about this and many other topics by listening to my podcast, SelfWork with Dr. Margaret Rutherford. Subscribe to my website and receive my weekly newsletter including a blog post and podcast! If you’d like to join my FaceB

How do you thrive with anxiety? Dr. David Rosemarin is our guest today who talks specifically about how to understand your anxiety as something that can help you thrive - when you work with it, and not against it.David is the director of the Spirituality and Mental Health Program at McLean Hospital. And he's an associate professor of psychology in the Department of Psychiatry at Harvard Medical School. He studies the relevance of spirituality to mental health. His own research has identified that faith is associated with improved treatment outcomes for depressed patients who see themselves as "spiritual beings."Advertisers' Link:Have you been putting off getting help? BetterHelp, the #1 online therapy provider, has a special offer for you now!You can hear more about this and many other topics by listening to my podcast, SelfWork with Dr. Margaret Rutherford. Subscribe to my website and receive my weekly newsletter including a blog post and podcast! If you’d like to join my FaceBook closed grou

Today we're focusing on the lasting impact of trauma. Many of us are quite good - or efficient is perhaps a better word – at avoiding and denying and building a façade that’s rock solid around you… that no one would guess that trauma had every occurred in your life. Or how it could be affecting you now.I have a story for you that will illustrate how easily it can be affecting you in ways that you don't recognize... until you do. And healing from trauma can occur, perhaps slowly, but it's more than possible. As always, we'll focus on "what you can do about it."Our listener email is from a young woman who watched my TEDx and decided to write me about her lifelong battle with depression – how she feels she’s a horrible disappointment to her parents – and in her short email, has only shaming and self-destructive things to say about herself. But there’s one thing she never mentions that seems so obvious… I hope I can help her see her condition differently, so she can take action toward a be

What do you do when you hit a wall? And what IS that wall anyway? How often are you able to recognize that that’s what’s happening? Some of you might quickly say, “I can’t hit a wall. I’ve got too many responsibilities. I need to make money. I need to keep going no matter what.”The three walls we'll focus on today are exhaustion, self-doubt, and saying, "I don't know" or "I need help." First, how to recognize that you’re coming close to hitting your wall (which will be different for everybody) way before a negative flow of energy or what’s called a negative spiral begins to happen. And second, what you can do about it and how you can use mindfulness to slow yourself down.Our listener voicemail is from a guy that says, “Oh my god, everything is coming together… enmeshment, depression and perfectionism” but his sentence made me laugh so hard… as he laughed at himself!Advertisers' Link:Have you been putting off getting help? BetterHelp, the #1 online therapy provider, has a special of

Perfectly hidden depression can end in tragedy.I don’t quite remember when Penny Gray and I first talked. It was after 2019 when PHD was published. But not long after.She’s the widow of a man, Dave, who tragically fit the rubric of perfectly hidden depression. She tells the story in this interview about how she happened upon the term "perfectly hidden depression" when she was seeking some kind of understanding about the “why” of her husband’s suicidal death. I am honored to share her story with you and could think of absolutely no better person to feature on our 400th episode.My respect for Penny is immense. She’s fighting severe kidney disease now on top of everything else, but has a passion to tell Dave's story. You’ll hear just how hard it was for her and her children as one minute, she was texting back and forth with her husband who seemed to be having a "moment" but saying he was ‘fine’, then killed himself 15 minutes after finishing a text to her."What kept you from revealing you

Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT) is a fast-growing therapeutic model that I wanted you here at SelfWork to know more about. So, I reached out to Dr. Diana Hill who's an expert on the technique and a firm believer/practitioner in what it has to offer. ACT seems to offer safety and structure, which of course is vital in therapy. I found her to be very real, approachable, and caring as she explains how ACT can help you see how commitment to your core values and staying in the present are so easy to lose when you're faced with struggle. And, as we like to focus on at SelfWork, what you can do about it.Here's how she explains it: "When you are faced with life’s challenges, it’s easy to lose track of what’s important, get stuck in your thoughts and emotions, and become bogged down by day-to-day problems. Even if you’ve made a commitment to live according to your core values, the ‘real-world’ has a way of driving a wedge between you and a deeper, more meaningful life."Vital Links: Dr. Hill

Cyclothymia, compartmentalization, and Taylor Swift don't seem to have much in common.But they're sharing this episode of SelfWork! And both are in response to listeners' questions and comments!Cyclothymia is another one of those more unusual depression diagnoses (like we covered last week with PMDD) and one that doesn’t get much attention as its more dramatic cousins, Bipolar I and II. Yet it shares some of the characteristics of those cyclic disorders (hence the name cyclothymia). Dave wrote about his questions about his own diagnosis of cyclothymia and how much relief and help it brought him.For this week’s listener email, I’m going to talk to you about a song by Taylor Swift, “I can do it with a broken heart.” A listener posted it in my closed FB group saying, “this sounds like perfectly hidden depression.” But is it?Vital Links:The link to the song by Taylor Swift: " I can do it with a broken heart"Advertisers' Link:Have you been putting off getting help? BetterHelp, the #1 online