Tom Rhodes Radio Smart Camp

If my mom ran Hollywood every movie would end with the family all going to church more often.   The great virus lockdown film festival continues! In this batch of films that my mother and I have watched we discovered that we both love any movie with Jeff Bridges or Clint Eastwood in it. We also discover that my mom won't stomach certain things and is not afraid to ask me to stop a film if she really doesn't like it. You can say what you want about Woody Allen but in not one of his films does anyone ever take a shit in the middle of the road in a wedding dress like happens in the Judd Appatow film. This week for us has seen us loosen our restrictions and start taking walks through my neighborhood every day. It is good for our souls to feel the sunshine on our face, cool breezes on our hair and to see how many extraordinary fig trees are living in my neighborhood. Each night we watch a film and in this conversation today we talk about the 25 films we have watched in the last 25 nights.  It is a hardy feast of m

The thing I love most about England is that they still put ugly people on television.   It has been a great week to learn some shit and my mother and I stuffed our heads with beautiful art knowledge and thanks to the BBC, we took a quest around the world for humankind's greatest achievements. First we talk about this past week in captivity as I undertook the task of sorting out and categorizing my boxes full of old paper photographs.  For the longest time I had wanted to categorize my photos separately in travel, comedy and family sections. Along with this labor came the joy of bagging up ex girlfriends and put them in a box and stuff that box in the deepest corner of my darkest closet. My mom said "Its like cleaning out the cobwebs from the corners of your life." I want to be clear that this doesn't include Ashna, because our whole history in photos is all digital, because she was my wife and because her and I are still friends. Also, Ashna still edits and produces this podcast and there were no dark corners

When I was a kid my mom would ask "Are you ready for the best feeling in the world?" Right before dumping a warm basket of clothes over my head fresh out of the dryer.   "No one volunteers to fight in a war who is happy at home."   It is from my mom that I get my love of books and since she arrived here on March 9th she has crushed five books here at the Rhodes library:   Joan of Arc by Mark Twain Go Tell It On The Mountain by James Baldwin Picasso by Gertrude Stein The Success And Failure Of Picasso by John Berger Paris At The End Of The World by John Baxter   In this episode my mom and I talk about the books she just read and the one she just started, Fatal Shore by Robert Hughes. We also talk about our time together in this global lockdown and relive happy memories like when I was a kid my mom would ask "Are you ready for the best feeling in the world?" Right before dumping a warm basket of clothes over my head fresh out of the dryer. We also talk about the art documentaries we have watched so far in our p

Hooray for moms! What good is money if you can't spend it on your mom? On April 15, 2020 my mother turned 81 years old and we recorded this conversation together under virus quarantine lockdown. My mother and I have had a beautiful relationship through the years and she has shared all of my triumphs and sorrows as I have shared hers. I love taking trips with her and we have been fortunate to experience together, San Francisco, Los Angeles, Amsterdam, Rome, Zurich, Buenos Aires and Jerusalem but the unexpected joy of having her with me here in Los Angeles as my bunker partner for great virus lock down of 2020 is the most serendipitous event of my lifetime. From my mother I get my thoughtfulness and she is my hero not only because she has survived so much to make it to where she is today, but because she taught me how to love, and to love fully. Since the stay at home orders went down my mom and I have a very nicely structured day. In the morning we talk and read our books over coffee and then after breakfast I

Is the threat of our possible human extinction bringing you down? This is a big shot of love and sunshine from the Rhodes library. When this stink ball of shit virus shut down the world my dearly loved 80 year old mother was visiting me and I got lucky to be riding out this storm with her. Had she not been visiting me at this moment we both would have been alone for this and probably each of us would have been more casual in our attitude because of the virus. Because getting her through this alive is my main priority I love my combat preparedness that I consider when I have to go out for supplies.   I love cooking all of our meals and I've learned that as a son I have many duties to my mother but letting her win at Scrabble is not one of them. You've never seen someone get so trounced at Scrabble as I have so soundly been beating her. Qi baby! Qi is a word and you should remember that because if played right it is a crusher. This is a special time now if you are spending it with someone you love. My heart smi

"You can be whoever you want to be in America, in your gated community, away from all those dirty poor people who might cast judgement on you."   My own personal golden girl, Lynn Ruth Miller stops by the Rhodes library to share the best lessons she has learned in life and to tell me about her new life living in London and performing all over the world. After getting fucked by #wellsfargo bank on a refinancing scam she lost her house and disgusted with the ruthless nature of American capitalism she moved to England at 80 years old to take a chance on having a comedy career there. After a bumpy start in Brighton she is making a name for herself in London and now performing all over the world. "I don't think enough sympathy has been shown to the Germans for what they went through in World War II." "It must have been hell being a man in the 1950s. You had to work to support a home and family and you had to please a demanding wife." "Now is the best time to be alive because you can be whatever gender you want now

  "If you tried to govern people by the rules of the bible it would be a bloody mess and women would be treated like property."   TRR # 320 Under the circus tent of knowledge with Dan Cummins!  Listen here > https://bit.ly/37hmW4C     Dan Cummins is a comedian that I love, respect and admire. He is the rare human that I can blaze any trail with mentality on any topic and we both dazzle each other with valuable knowledge nuggets.   Dan left Los Angeles and moved back home to Idaho, "Playboy of all brands brought our family back home." Since then Dan has created a handsome podcast empire with his "Time Suck" podcast.    Dan tells me about the sexually liberated intellectuals he had the best conversations with during his time working for Playboy television. We talk here about the brothers Grim fairy tales, Disney films, Ted X talks, how going dark gets you more followers than going light, Josephine Baker, John Dillinger, Bonnie and Clyde, the Jumbo appendages possessed by Lyndon Johnson and Rasputin, Vlad the Im

Rejoice in the glory that is the words and thoughts of Henry Miller! One of the greatest American writers all time. Your zest for life begins here! Eddie Pepitone and I celebrate the author Henry Miller, one of the best human examples to follow the path of the artist and smile in the face of struggle. “The Rosy Crucifixion trilogy is basically about being crucified on the cross of love”. Learn how the act of creativity is the way to pull out of your darkest moments in life and return to the light. “I have no money, no resources, no hopes. I am the happiest man alive”. The best writings of Henry Miller should be assembled into a single book and made into the new bible and placed in hotel rooms all over the world. "I want to write something that has real guts. Real hard realism. If every man wrote down what was his real truth the entire world word explode. Open yourself up and be super vulnerable in order to achieve your self liberation. Release the inner angel within! The theory of artistic creativity, when yo

"How you are on the golf course is how you are in real life, if you cheat on the golf course you will cheat in real life."   Alex Thomas and I met when we toured Israel together. I brought my mother on that tour and Alex brought his family because we both wanted to share the experience with the people we loved most. This conversation was recorded last week before the tragic death of Kobe Bryant. In this episode we talk about how the Republicans now are the 1919 Chicago Black Sox because they are all in on the fix. Alex is the self proclaimed Ghetto Tiger Woods or the black Bob Hope. "How you are on the golf course is how you are in real life, if you cheat on the golf course you will cheat in real life." "The bible is my favorite book, I was taught and value integrity, I believe in karma and the golden rule." Who was this guy Mulligan that was so bad at golf that the one fuck up do over is named after him? An amazing fact about Alex is that his father was 'Wind' in Earth, Wind & Fire. Alex grew up with the

"If we are to survive as a human race we have to hide our hatreds, we have to find things we have in common if we want to progress and move forward."   I first met Shazia Mirza in 2002 when I had my late night talk show in Amsterdam when we did shows around The Netherlands together. I was riding high with the dream TV job and Shazia was a cultural juggernaut at the time because she was playing a pro terrorism Muslim character on stage with her one liners and was getting a lot of media coverage at the time. When we met on this tour Shazia had a reporter from the Guardian following her and writing a story about her. It was a very exciting time for both of us in our careers and even though we are both from very different cultures we bonded because we are in the same tribe of stand up comedy. "The Jews have a great history of producing comedians, so do the Catholics, we have never had a history of comedians. Islam is a new religion and so is our comedy and satire. It takes time before you can laugh at something."

Shantaram with Jake Johannsen "I would never commit a felony, I am strictly a misdemeanor guy." Jake Johannsen comes to the Rhodes library to talk about his favorite book 'Shantaram' by Gregory David Roberts. In this conversation we talk about people losing the sparkle in their eyes in Hollywood, how Kurt Vonnegut will improve your life and how Kurt Vonnegut is to Jake what James Brown is to me. I teach Jake the 8 words of Spanish that saved me from getting ripped off by cops and I tell him about the one and only time I have ever been in jail which was when I was 19 years old in Little Rock, Arkansas. That weekend I spent in jail at 19 was very influential in my life because I would never commit a felony, I am strictly a misdemeanor guy.  In this episode we weigh the benefits of martial arts versus carrying mace and how in life, just like when you are dealing with a heckler, using kindness and charm is always the best course of action.We talk about how instagram is better than twitter because no one is going

Everyday my prayer is the same... God please make me less of an asshole. That is also my New Year's resolution, to try to be less of an asshole. The epidemic of modern assholishness is something I am not immune to and I was an unrelenting asshole recently when I appeared on the Tom & Dan podcast when I was back in Orlando during the holidays.The tidal wave of internet hate that followed let me know that plenty of people thought I was a turd. Also when I was back home I met the family of the soldier who had committed suicide who I had witnessed a year before experiencing peak grief at MCO airport. At the moment I saw them it reminded me of how I felt when I lost my sister and it put into perspective that pain from a divorce is a minor thing in comparison to having a loved family member plucked from you out of this life. While at home I had the realization that none of us should ever identify as Republican or Democrat, we should only indentify ourselves as friend, brother, son, husband or the female equival

"Modern country music is like heavy metal was in the 80s, it's all about partying, girls and having fun." - Josh Wolf We start this episode with the remedy of a Charles Bukowski poem that is the shield against some of the monkey mouth chump shit of the world. How is it possible that some hayseed rednecks drink pickle juice and are the morality tales of the Andy Griffith show more important than the ones in the bible? How disappointed were little people when Willie Wonka and the chocolate factory was made and the glorious decision Martin Scorcesse made by saying that super hero movies are not cinema. We talk about current films and the reason I went to see the new Terminator movie and how it is connected to my family reunions. Josh grew up in Amherst, Massachucetts and became a huge country music fan and has more optimism and sunshine than your average New Englander. We talk about concerts of our youth and the time I saw the audience throw shoes at the B52s until they left the stage in Orlando in 1982. What or

"It's not what is under the Christmas tree that is important but the people who are sitting around it."  Rinsing out the raisin hole with Jimmy Shubert! Listen here > https://bit.ly/346mWDu   Jimmy Shubert is a man dedicated to bringing joy to the human race. Fresh back from a trip to India, Jimmy tells me about the unique way people in India clean their raisin holes. How has his life changed since going to India?   In this conversation we talk about how traveling with Russell Peters in India was like traveling with Elvis and how the Hindu Gods were like the first comic book characters. We talk about Shantaram and other books that will change your life. We talk about the gift shops of Jerusalem and how they sell Jesus' crown of thorns for five dollars in case you want to walk around all day with a bloody forehead. Believe it or not Jerusalem is not a big Christmas city but in the Christian quarter they celebrate Santa Claus.  We both have had incredible lives from getting to travel the world doing stand up co

I love Tamer Kattan because not only is he funny, with deep profound thoughts packed into his comedy, but also because he helped me convert my marijuana farm into a hummingbird garden. In this conversation we talk about his time working in advertising, going to university in Sweden and living in Venice Beach where the homeless people charge you to hear the punchlines to their jokes. Of great importance we talk about how human nature never changes, how people use brands to find their tribes, political advertising and people are drunk on power and how humans never learn from the lessons of history. Individual lust for for power has driven all of human history and driven empires off of cliffs. Tamer lives with love in his heart because we are not supposed to live with hatred and fear. "No one ever got PTSD from hugging too hard." Getting death threats in Oklahoma City didn't stop him from bringing  his brand of love soaked laughter. Religion is just as drunk on power as our politicians and it is their duty to ca

Charles Ezell is a guy I've known since my early San Francisco days. He used to do an impression of Ulysses S. Grant if he had done stand up comedy and the bit always killed me. "I haven't killed like this since Appomattox." Charles has always been a great friend to me and I've always loved shooting the shit with him and hanging out. For years he lived in the Gaylord building in Koreatown in Los Angeles and that was one of the reasons I moved there when I moved back to the U.S. after living in Amsterdam for 5 years. I wanted to pursue getting on television and I thought that if things didn't work out for me in Hollywood at the very least I could get to hang out with Charles Ezell all the time in Koreatown. We hit wiffle balls for hours on the roof of the Brown Derby Plaza and Charles experienced an excellent period of song writing for his band at the time called Hail The Size. I remember when Charles was writing these songs and rehearsing them in my apartment where he had his band equipment set up for a while

Hello lovers of knowledge and laughter! In this episode I talk about ruining the surprise ending of the movie Joker for those basement dwellers who hadn't seen it yet. I read hate filled tweets directed at me in the aftermath and choose to deal with them with a loving heart instead of playing along with the hate faucet that is twitter. Also in this episode I talk with James Inman who tells me about how Bill Hicks keeps appearing to him in his dreams. Happy Halloween! Here is a joke I heard as a boy, "Why can't witches have babies? Because their husbands all have hollow weenies." It's a silly joke but still funnier than anything that happens in the Joker. Buddhism is his favorite reading material and that is why it is my pleasure to present to you now the one and only James Inman!

The Decline & Fall Of The American Empire with Rajiv Satyal In this episode we talk about how the failure of White Christianity will be the end of American democracy and how the American empire will reach its end when the Nazi dictator declares himself president for life. In this conversation we discuss how in the Hindu religion all of the stories are the stories of good versus evil and how if you have a good heart and are a good person you will always persevere over evil. Because we are fucked beyond human imagination and it is our stated aim to be good people who persevere it is my pleasure to present to you now the one and only Rajiv Satyal!

Hooray and hallelujah! This is the first ever live recording of my podcast coming to you from the hipster city of Portland, Oregon! Dante Rusciolelli is the co-founder of the Portland comedy festival and he and I riff like the skilled joke slingers that we are in front of a hot live audience at Harvey's comedy club. Dante and I are kind of related because in the late 1990s he was on a show on the BET network where he played my father's son. That's right! My father was on a BET show in the late 1990s and Dante regales us with those memories and how his comedy career began in the California desert. Dante is someone I knew I would like even before I met him and you will love this conversation and the light he brings to your soul with his musings here. It was a special weekend being a part of this first ever Portland comedy festival and I'm happy that this memory was commemorated and my friendship sealed with the man who invited me there. Like me, Dante seems to be on an upswing in his life and for creating this

Straight out of Mongolia and coming into your ears, brain and heart is Batbileg B! Pioneer and founder of the Mongolian comedy scene is my friend Bata, owner of UB comedy club and superstar of the Ulaanbaatar, Mongolia laugh providers. He is visiting Los Angeles at the moment and stopped by the Rhodes library to record this conversation. We talk about how Genghis Khan's influence still shapes the world, our once in a lifetime special visit to Ghengis Khan's 13th century camp sites and the shaman tents were we picked up our warrior spirits. My time in Mongolia was special and I dream of returning there one day. I first went to Mongolia because of Genghis Khan but it was the comedians of Mongolia who made me return for the second time. Aside from diving deep into history and loving my shows there for the brilliant Mongolian audiences, Bata's mother is a dentist and gave me a full cleaning and whitening while I was there. Free dental work is a very generous gift and that encapsulates how giving and loving the pe