Zen Parenting Radio

This week Todd and Cathy bust open these so-called “facts” to recognize how these negative belief systems slow us down or keep us stuck. They also discuss “mini freedoms” and why they are so important to busy parents.

We speak with Darius A. Loghmanee, MD Attending Physician, Sleep Medicine; Assistant Professor of Pediatrics, Northwestern University Feinberg School of Medicine. We cover all the bases from infants to adults.

Todd and Cathy discuss why our actions dictate our priorities (a Gandhi quote), and how investigation into our priorities tells us a lot about what we think and believe. They also discuss Rob Bell’s new podcast (The Robcast) and his teaching about why “good can be the detriment of best”.

On today’s show Cathy and Todd talk about why connection is essential if we want our children to listen and cooperate. If we are seeking changes in our children’s behavior, we need to we focus our attention on deepening the relationship and creating daily connection.

A listener shares how her husband has her back – he tells the kids that he loves them, but he loves their mom the most. We also discuss how negative behavior from your children is a method of communication – instead of yelling or punishing, consider asking questions and offering some attention.

They sound the same, but there is a distinct difference between detachment (giving up) and non attachment (opening up). If you learn the difference, forgiveness will become easier and you will inevitably experience more love in your life.

Cathy and Todd talk relationships and discuss and article (link below) from The Atlantic called "Masters of Love"  In the article, it talks about the most current research about “master” and “disaster” partnerships. The biggest take away? If your partner sees a bird and points to it, look at the bird and acknowledge you’ve seen it. This is a metaphor for aspects of your relationship! Also, do you scan your relationship for kindness or for contempt? Be conscious of what you are looking for, because what you focus on grows. Todd shares some money tips (he loves money tips!), they play some clips from Frosty the Snowman, they laugh a lot, and they ask listeners to comment on how their partner showed up for them. Go to the Zen Parenting Radio website and click “send us a voice message” – share a brief story about why your partner has your back. "Masters of Love" Article by Emily Esfahani Smith Other Resources Cathy's 3rd book, Living What You Want Your Kids To Learn- The Power of Self-Aware Parenting, is now

Today we talk different parenting styles from a blog by Denise Stirk, Malala’s Nobel Peace Prize speech, and Todd shares more money tips. We also talk about why the best choices are made responsibly (rather than just running away or pretending something isn’t happening), and we answer a question about whether sleep training is practical option for a 3 year old. The link to hear a snapshot of Malala's speech can be found below... http://www.upworthy.com/shes-known-as-malala-but-when-she-revealed-her-other-names-i-got-teary?c=upw1 Other Resources Cathy's 3rd book, Living What You Want Your Kids To Learn- The Power of Self-Aware Parenting, is now on sale! Go here to order your book. Todd co-facilitates The Tribe Men's Group and is now accepting applications for his 2015 retreat.  Registration can be found here. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rd4HfGvOl2k&index=19&list=PLJATAQGVhEVv7KoAcf-V7UKiN0_De-wqn Click the following links to purchase Cathy's books The Self-Aware Parent Part 1  & and Part 2 Click he

Why are girls going through puberty early? Cathy and Todd discuss a recent NPR interview with the authors Julianna Deardorff and Louise Greenspan of The New Puberty. The book looks at the percentage of girls who are going through early puberty and the environmental, biological and socioeconomic factors that influence when puberty begins. They also discuss why sexuality is an ongoing communication, not a one-time conversation. Todd talks about Tony Robbins new book (Money: Master the Game), 401K’s, and why everybody needs to know more about money. The website Todd referred to that compared 401K plans can be found here.   Cathy also shares some Zen wisdom that’s set the stage for her own self awareness. Other Resources Cathy's 3rd book, Living What You Want Your Kids To Learn- The Power of Self-Aware Parenting, is now on sale! Go here to order your book. Todd co-facilitates The Tribe Men's Group and is now accepting applications for his 2015 retreat.  Registration can be found here. https://www.youtube.c

Do you let others grow and expand or do you keep pulling them back down into the pot? When you try to crawl out and try something new, do family/friends/co-workers pull you down or deter you? When you change or grow it can be quite uncomfortable for the people around you. Just like crabs in a pot, we pull back the ones who are crawling out because change can feel risky and unpredictable. We also discuss how Billy Corgan reacted to Anderson Cooper’s slight. How would you handle public ridicule? We play some clips from our discussion with Dr. Darius, sleep expert who we interviewed for our next Conversations with People We Love, and Todd brings back Tournament of Bad because he’s got some bubble wrap issues. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=M0e5dB5BkxI Other Resources Cathy's 3rd book, Living What You Want Your Kids To Learn- The Power of Self-Aware Parenting, is now on sale! Go here to order your book. Todd co-facilitates The Tribe Men's Group and is now accepting applications for his 2015 retreat.  Regist

Todd & Cathy share a marriage challenge where Cathy was able to speak up (not easy), and Todd was able to really listen (also not easy). In couplehood- Can we allow our partner to share their pain without taking it personally? Are we brave enough to ask for what we really want? Instead of preaching to others, can we begin to offer what we want to receive, love instead of fear, and BE the change we want to see in the world? Today Cathy and Todd talk about the challenges of today’s culture, but also the signs of meaningful change. They also talk about why we should trust our children to make good decisions rather than worry or “freak out”. Todd shares clips from Planes Trains and Automobiles because it’s Thanksgiving! We are grateful for you! Other Resources Receive Cathy's new book Living What You Want Your Kids To Learn by registering  for our two week Self-Aware Virtual Holiday Retreat which begins on December 1st.  Click here for more details.   https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6OS_AZt6pds&list=UUvdNYzqM

We talk with Mary Ellen Young & Sandra McDonnell about their book, Elements for Girls: A Fun and Engaging Self-Discovery Project. This book supports preadolescent and teenage girls on their journey of self awareness, and offers them a sense of acceptance and empowerment as they grow. We shared their book with our Be U girls, and have gotten tremendous feedback. Listen as we discuss the challenges faced by young girls and how to support them, and why this book may be the first step toward meaningful discussions. Other Resources Receive Cathy's new book Living What You Want Your Kids To Learn by registering  for our two week Self-Aware Virtual Holiday Retreat which begins on December 1st.  Click here for more details.   Cathy's 3rd book, Living What You Want Your Kids To Learn- The Power of Self-Aware Parenting, is now on sale! Scheduled ship date is first week of November. Go here to order your book. Todd co-facilitates The Tribe Men's Group and is now accepting applications for his 2015 retreat.  Registra

Todd & Cathy discuss the “two wolves” parable and how we can use this when we are teaching our kids. An old Cherokee chief was teaching his grandson about life... "A fight is going on inside me," he said to the boy. "It is a terrible fight and it is between two wolves. "One is evil - he is anger, envy, sorrow, regret, greed, arrogance, self-pity, guilt, resentment, inferiority, lies, false pride, superiority, self-doubt, and ego. "The other is good - he is joy, peace, love, hope, serenity, humility, kindness, benevolence, empathy, generosity, truth, compassion, and faith. "This same fight is going on inside you - and inside every other person, too." The grandson thought about it for a minute and then asked his grandfather, "Which wolf will win?" The old chief simply replied, "The one you feed." Do you let your children surprise you or do you plan everything for them? Do you tell them how to compete, or do you let them figure out what competition means to them? Is true competition based on internal goals (

On today’s show we discuss why it’s important to support children’s dreams, and why it’s important to do what you love. We talk about Dave Grohl, Jim Morrison, Billy Corgan, and other famous people who realized their dream regardless of what they were told. Parents can redefine what it means for their children to be successful, and they can focus their energy on acceptance and belonging. This results in children who are intrinsically motivated and who have a sense of self worth. Michael Jordan's view of failure. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JA7G7AV-LT8 Alan Watts- What if money was no object? https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KSyHWMdH9gk Other Resources Receive Cathy's new book Living What You Want Your Kids To Learn by registering  for our two week Self-Aware Virtual Holiday Retreat which begins on December 1st.  Click here for more details.   Cathy's 3rd book, Living What You Want Your Kids To Learn- The Power of Self-Aware Parenting, is now on sale! Scheduled ship date is first week of November. Go

We interview Matt Theodores who is the director of Maine Boys To Men. Boys To Men supports the happy, healthy, non-violent development of boys and those who help raise them. By working with parents, teachers, coaches, boys and girls, Boys to Men challenges the pervasive messaging that defines masculinity in terms of violence, harassment, apathy and sexual conquest. Their programs support empathy, tolerance, respect, leadership, and critical thinking. In the interview, we discuss the focus of  their program: Mission The Mission of Boys to Men is to reduce interpersonal violence, specifically male violence against women and girls, and support the development of emotionally fluent, civically engaged boys. Boys to Men will: • Provide assistance and educational resources to boys and those who help raise them. • Provide programming to students which challenge traditional gender stereotypes and sexism. • Increase community awareness about the challenges facing boys and the corresponding bias and violence again

We've made it to 200! We celebrate by hearing from our listeners and by listening to some of our "greatest hits". We also talk about the intention of Zen Parenting and why self awareness leads to more connected families and eventually, a more connected world. Thanks for listening, we appreciate you! We announce the release of Cathy's new book, Living What You Want Your Kids To Learn- The Power of Self-Aware Parenting as well as our two week Self-Aware Virtual Retreat.  Information can be found below. Other Resources Receive Cathy's new book Living What You Want Your Kids To Learn by registering  for our two week Self-Aware Virtual Holiday Retreat which begins on December 1st.  Click here for more details.   Cathy's 3rd book, Living What You Want Your Kids To Learn- The Power of Self-Aware Parenting, is now on sale! Scheduled ship date is first week of November. Go here to order your book. Todd co-facilitates The Tribe Men's Group and is now accepting applications for his 2015 retreat.  Registration can b

Do you get annoyed by your fear? Are you tired of being afraid? We discuss how to shift the way we look at fear. Pema Chodron said, Fear is a natural reaction to moving closer to the truth, so maybe our fear is trying to help us, heal us, push us closer to who really are. We never stop being afraid, but we can begin to have a gentler relationship with the discomfort. We discuss how to talk to your kids about hitting - punishment and consequences may not be working, but how about a down-to-earth meaningful discussion. What is your child hoping to achieve by hitting? How you can support your children when they feel like hitting? What tools can your children use instead of hitting? Instead of using fear or shame, we can shift the focus to the feelings behind the hitting. Todd shares his weekend retreat experience with The Mankind Project. He was awakened to a whole different definition of masculinity. Other Resources Receive Cathy's new book Living What You Want Your Kids To Learn by registering  for our t

Our guest Alfie Kohn, author of  The Myth of the Spoiled Child, says that the negativity thrown at parents and the supposedly narcissistic kids they are raising is unfounded. Kohn says parents should work to raise kids with high self esteem, and that the fashionable belief that kids must develop grit and self-discipline through failure and suffering is unproven and often counterproductive. A few of the topics we discuss with Alfie: Warm responsive parenting is often confused with over indulgent and permissive parenting Punishment and rewards don't work Competition is uniquely counterproductive We want to raise "reflective rebels" Other Resources Cathy's 3rd book, Living What You Want Your Kids To Learn- The Power of Self-Aware Parenting, is now on sale! Scheduled ship date is first week of November. Go here to order your book. Todd co-facilitates The Tribe and is now accepting applications for his 2015 retreat.  Highlights of last years retreat can be found here. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=

We are always told to avoid "toxic" people, but sometimes it's difficult to completely cut ties. This is when we learn to set boundaries. Cathy shares a metaphor she found in Glennon Melton's latest blog - the reason we can see the beauty of a tiger behind bars is that we are safe from being devoured. If we don't set up our own boundaries (bars), then we risk allowing others to take advantage of us (and we miss their beauty!). We also share the website worldpulse.com  - it allows women from all over the world to communicate with each other and transform their circumstances. At 22:00, we interview Todd's good friend Rick Williams.  Rick shares the story of his wife Trish - for the last 19 months she has been dealing with Hydrocephalus. Rick has persevered to support Trish in unbelievable ways, but they have reached an impass - recovery is possible, but insurance has run out. To learn more and donate, please visit Trish's fund raising page here. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VM-MH0b6w44&feature=youtu.be O

Are you supporting your partner instead of listening to your own internal knowing? Are you choosing to support rather than voice your opinion? Supporting your partner and kids is important, but if you do it by hurting yourself, it can create resentment and disconnection. Cathy and Todd go deep on this one (think Zen Parenting grad school) and ask listeners to practice extreme self awareness. If you take care of yourself first, and do what feels right, it may create an environment for others to do the same. Cathy talks about Emerging Women, the conference she attended in New York this weekend. There were so many amazing speakers, and they all shared a similar message. Success comes from the inside, find your joy, and make a life, not a living. It's time to bring female leadership into the workplace and into the world - it will lead to greater strength, compassion, forgiveness, creativity, and balance. Other Resources We invite you to attend a live webinar with us titled How is your Child Sleeping? It's on W