Zen Parenting Radio

Cathy and Todd talk relationships and discuss and article (link below) from The Atlantic called "Masters of Love"  In the article, it talks about the most current research about “master” and “disaster” partnerships. The biggest take away? If your partner sees a bird and points to it, look at the bird and acknowledge you’ve seen it. This is a metaphor for aspects of your relationship! Also, do you scan your relationship for kindness or for contempt? Be conscious of what you are looking for, because what you focus on grows. Todd shares some money tips (he loves money tips!), they play some clips from Frosty the Snowman, they laugh a lot, and they ask listeners to comment on how their partner showed up for them. Go to the Zen Parenting Radio website and click “send us a voice message” – share a brief story about why your partner has your back. "Masters of Love" Article by Emily Esfahani Smith Other Resources Cathy's 3rd book, Living What You Want Your Kids To Learn- The Power of Self-Aware Parenting, is now

Today we talk different parenting styles from a blog by Denise Stirk, Malala’s Nobel Peace Prize speech, and Todd shares more money tips. We also talk about why the best choices are made responsibly (rather than just running away or pretending something isn’t happening), and we answer a question about whether sleep training is practical option for a 3 year old. The link to hear a snapshot of Malala's speech can be found below... http://www.upworthy.com/shes-known-as-malala-but-when-she-revealed-her-other-names-i-got-teary?c=upw1 Other Resources Cathy's 3rd book, Living What You Want Your Kids To Learn- The Power of Self-Aware Parenting, is now on sale! Go here to order your book. Todd co-facilitates The Tribe Men's Group and is now accepting applications for his 2015 retreat.  Registration can be found here. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rd4HfGvOl2k&index=19&list=PLJATAQGVhEVv7KoAcf-V7UKiN0_De-wqn Click the following links to purchase Cathy's books The Self-Aware Parent Part 1  & and Part 2 Click he

Why are girls going through puberty early? Cathy and Todd discuss a recent NPR interview with the authors Julianna Deardorff and Louise Greenspan of The New Puberty. The book looks at the percentage of girls who are going through early puberty and the environmental, biological and socioeconomic factors that influence when puberty begins. They also discuss why sexuality is an ongoing communication, not a one-time conversation. Todd talks about Tony Robbins new book (Money: Master the Game), 401K’s, and why everybody needs to know more about money. The website Todd referred to that compared 401K plans can be found here.   Cathy also shares some Zen wisdom that’s set the stage for her own self awareness. Other Resources Cathy's 3rd book, Living What You Want Your Kids To Learn- The Power of Self-Aware Parenting, is now on sale! Go here to order your book. Todd co-facilitates The Tribe Men's Group and is now accepting applications for his 2015 retreat.  Registration can be found here. https://www.youtube.c

Do you let others grow and expand or do you keep pulling them back down into the pot? When you try to crawl out and try something new, do family/friends/co-workers pull you down or deter you? When you change or grow it can be quite uncomfortable for the people around you. Just like crabs in a pot, we pull back the ones who are crawling out because change can feel risky and unpredictable. We also discuss how Billy Corgan reacted to Anderson Cooper’s slight. How would you handle public ridicule? We play some clips from our discussion with Dr. Darius, sleep expert who we interviewed for our next Conversations with People We Love, and Todd brings back Tournament of Bad because he’s got some bubble wrap issues. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=M0e5dB5BkxI Other Resources Cathy's 3rd book, Living What You Want Your Kids To Learn- The Power of Self-Aware Parenting, is now on sale! Go here to order your book. Todd co-facilitates The Tribe Men's Group and is now accepting applications for his 2015 retreat.  Regist

Todd & Cathy share a marriage challenge where Cathy was able to speak up (not easy), and Todd was able to really listen (also not easy). In couplehood- Can we allow our partner to share their pain without taking it personally? Are we brave enough to ask for what we really want? Instead of preaching to others, can we begin to offer what we want to receive, love instead of fear, and BE the change we want to see in the world? Today Cathy and Todd talk about the challenges of today’s culture, but also the signs of meaningful change. They also talk about why we should trust our children to make good decisions rather than worry or “freak out”. Todd shares clips from Planes Trains and Automobiles because it’s Thanksgiving! We are grateful for you! Other Resources Receive Cathy's new book Living What You Want Your Kids To Learn by registering  for our two week Self-Aware Virtual Holiday Retreat which begins on December 1st.  Click here for more details.   https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6OS_AZt6pds&list=UUvdNYzqM

We talk with Mary Ellen Young & Sandra McDonnell about their book, Elements for Girls: A Fun and Engaging Self-Discovery Project. This book supports preadolescent and teenage girls on their journey of self awareness, and offers them a sense of acceptance and empowerment as they grow. We shared their book with our Be U girls, and have gotten tremendous feedback. Listen as we discuss the challenges faced by young girls and how to support them, and why this book may be the first step toward meaningful discussions. Other Resources Receive Cathy's new book Living What You Want Your Kids To Learn by registering  for our two week Self-Aware Virtual Holiday Retreat which begins on December 1st.  Click here for more details.   Cathy's 3rd book, Living What You Want Your Kids To Learn- The Power of Self-Aware Parenting, is now on sale! Scheduled ship date is first week of November. Go here to order your book. Todd co-facilitates The Tribe Men's Group and is now accepting applications for his 2015 retreat.  Registra

Todd & Cathy discuss the “two wolves” parable and how we can use this when we are teaching our kids. An old Cherokee chief was teaching his grandson about life... "A fight is going on inside me," he said to the boy. "It is a terrible fight and it is between two wolves. "One is evil - he is anger, envy, sorrow, regret, greed, arrogance, self-pity, guilt, resentment, inferiority, lies, false pride, superiority, self-doubt, and ego. "The other is good - he is joy, peace, love, hope, serenity, humility, kindness, benevolence, empathy, generosity, truth, compassion, and faith. "This same fight is going on inside you - and inside every other person, too." The grandson thought about it for a minute and then asked his grandfather, "Which wolf will win?" The old chief simply replied, "The one you feed." Do you let your children surprise you or do you plan everything for them? Do you tell them how to compete, or do you let them figure out what competition means to them? Is true competition based on internal goals (

On today’s show we discuss why it’s important to support children’s dreams, and why it’s important to do what you love. We talk about Dave Grohl, Jim Morrison, Billy Corgan, and other famous people who realized their dream regardless of what they were told. Parents can redefine what it means for their children to be successful, and they can focus their energy on acceptance and belonging. This results in children who are intrinsically motivated and who have a sense of self worth. Michael Jordan's view of failure. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JA7G7AV-LT8 Alan Watts- What if money was no object? https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KSyHWMdH9gk Other Resources Receive Cathy's new book Living What You Want Your Kids To Learn by registering  for our two week Self-Aware Virtual Holiday Retreat which begins on December 1st.  Click here for more details.   Cathy's 3rd book, Living What You Want Your Kids To Learn- The Power of Self-Aware Parenting, is now on sale! Scheduled ship date is first week of November. Go

We interview Matt Theodores who is the director of Maine Boys To Men. Boys To Men supports the happy, healthy, non-violent development of boys and those who help raise them. By working with parents, teachers, coaches, boys and girls, Boys to Men challenges the pervasive messaging that defines masculinity in terms of violence, harassment, apathy and sexual conquest. Their programs support empathy, tolerance, respect, leadership, and critical thinking. In the interview, we discuss the focus of  their program: Mission The Mission of Boys to Men is to reduce interpersonal violence, specifically male violence against women and girls, and support the development of emotionally fluent, civically engaged boys. Boys to Men will: • Provide assistance and educational resources to boys and those who help raise them. • Provide programming to students which challenge traditional gender stereotypes and sexism. • Increase community awareness about the challenges facing boys and the corresponding bias and violence again

We've made it to 200! We celebrate by hearing from our listeners and by listening to some of our "greatest hits". We also talk about the intention of Zen Parenting and why self awareness leads to more connected families and eventually, a more connected world. Thanks for listening, we appreciate you! We announce the release of Cathy's new book, Living What You Want Your Kids To Learn- The Power of Self-Aware Parenting as well as our two week Self-Aware Virtual Retreat.  Information can be found below. Other Resources Receive Cathy's new book Living What You Want Your Kids To Learn by registering  for our two week Self-Aware Virtual Holiday Retreat which begins on December 1st.  Click here for more details.   Cathy's 3rd book, Living What You Want Your Kids To Learn- The Power of Self-Aware Parenting, is now on sale! Scheduled ship date is first week of November. Go here to order your book. Todd co-facilitates The Tribe Men's Group and is now accepting applications for his 2015 retreat.  Registration can b

Do you get annoyed by your fear? Are you tired of being afraid? We discuss how to shift the way we look at fear. Pema Chodron said, Fear is a natural reaction to moving closer to the truth, so maybe our fear is trying to help us, heal us, push us closer to who really are. We never stop being afraid, but we can begin to have a gentler relationship with the discomfort. We discuss how to talk to your kids about hitting - punishment and consequences may not be working, but how about a down-to-earth meaningful discussion. What is your child hoping to achieve by hitting? How you can support your children when they feel like hitting? What tools can your children use instead of hitting? Instead of using fear or shame, we can shift the focus to the feelings behind the hitting. Todd shares his weekend retreat experience with The Mankind Project. He was awakened to a whole different definition of masculinity. Other Resources Receive Cathy's new book Living What You Want Your Kids To Learn by registering  for our t

Our guest Alfie Kohn, author of  The Myth of the Spoiled Child, says that the negativity thrown at parents and the supposedly narcissistic kids they are raising is unfounded. Kohn says parents should work to raise kids with high self esteem, and that the fashionable belief that kids must develop grit and self-discipline through failure and suffering is unproven and often counterproductive. A few of the topics we discuss with Alfie: Warm responsive parenting is often confused with over indulgent and permissive parenting Punishment and rewards don't work Competition is uniquely counterproductive We want to raise "reflective rebels" Other Resources Cathy's 3rd book, Living What You Want Your Kids To Learn- The Power of Self-Aware Parenting, is now on sale! Scheduled ship date is first week of November. Go here to order your book. Todd co-facilitates The Tribe and is now accepting applications for his 2015 retreat.  Highlights of last years retreat can be found here. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=

We are always told to avoid "toxic" people, but sometimes it's difficult to completely cut ties. This is when we learn to set boundaries. Cathy shares a metaphor she found in Glennon Melton's latest blog - the reason we can see the beauty of a tiger behind bars is that we are safe from being devoured. If we don't set up our own boundaries (bars), then we risk allowing others to take advantage of us (and we miss their beauty!). We also share the website worldpulse.com  - it allows women from all over the world to communicate with each other and transform their circumstances. At 22:00, we interview Todd's good friend Rick Williams.  Rick shares the story of his wife Trish - for the last 19 months she has been dealing with Hydrocephalus. Rick has persevered to support Trish in unbelievable ways, but they have reached an impass - recovery is possible, but insurance has run out. To learn more and donate, please visit Trish's fund raising page here. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VM-MH0b6w44&feature=youtu.be O

Are you supporting your partner instead of listening to your own internal knowing? Are you choosing to support rather than voice your opinion? Supporting your partner and kids is important, but if you do it by hurting yourself, it can create resentment and disconnection. Cathy and Todd go deep on this one (think Zen Parenting grad school) and ask listeners to practice extreme self awareness. If you take care of yourself first, and do what feels right, it may create an environment for others to do the same. Cathy talks about Emerging Women, the conference she attended in New York this weekend. There were so many amazing speakers, and they all shared a similar message. Success comes from the inside, find your joy, and make a life, not a living. It's time to bring female leadership into the workplace and into the world - it will lead to greater strength, compassion, forgiveness, creativity, and balance. Other Resources We invite you to attend a live webinar with us titled How is your Child Sleeping? It's on W

Our friend Shawn Bowen tells her story about her son Matthew who was diagnosed with down syndrome in the hospital 4 days after he was born. Matthew is now 7 and is amazing as he was when he showed up seven years ago.  Shawn talks about her initial reaction to Matthew's diagnoses, advocating for her son in a school system, Matthew's health challenges, and how the perception of down syndrome has changed for the better as time goes by.  Hope you enjoy... Other Resources We invite you to attend a live webinar with us titled How is your Child Sleeping? The discussion revolves around assessing your child's sleep behavior and the effects on overall development.  Register by clicking here.  $15.00 to register.  An inspirational story related to this workshop can be found below.  It's called "Finding Connor Deegan" https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Sk5qsmRyVcE Shameless plug for Cathy's sister's S.O.S. Pads campaign- Who knew? http://www.sosclorox.com/ Todd co-facilitates The Tribe and is now accepting application

Do your kids love to dance, or play sports, or be artistic at home? Do you keep insisting that they need to take a class?  We all want what is "best" for our kids, and that often means getting them into the "best" class with the "best" teacher at the "best" facility  The intention is based in love, but what if your kid doesn't want to take a class? Maybe he/she just wants to enjoy the creative process without being told what to do. We can always offer a class or opportunity for growth, but our kids know when they are ready to know more, and sometimes they don't need as much guidance as we think they do. A few examples are Ballerina Mindy Copeland who didn't start dancing until she was 13, and Saturday Night Live comedians Fred Armisen and Kristen Wiig who didn't start their life in comedy until their early 20's https://screen.yahoo.com/weekend-garth-kat-mothers-day-000000363.html We also answer two questions from our listeners - one who's husband is displeased with his work and allows his feelings to affec

Time-outs are typically viewed as an effective parenting technique, but the latest brain research suggests that they may be making things worse. Instead of using time-outs as a break, parents have used them as punishment. This isolates the child and eliminates the possibility for connection and compassion at a time when they need it most.  We discuss the blog written by Dr. Daniel Siegel and Dr. Tina Payne Bryson, where they share how the latest brain research have proved time-outs ineffective. We share an update about Erin and Aaron Kreiger - they shared their journey of grief and infant loss back in June - (click here for Part 1 and Part 2 ), as well as a blog titled  25 ways to ask your kids "So how was school today?" Other Resources If you think there are times when we put too much educational pressure on our children, then check this out! Be U, Inc and Bethel Learning Center are sponsoring a FREE screening of Replace the Race followed by a discussion on October 8th @ 7:00 PM Click the link below to re

Have you heard of He for She?  This campaign, headed by the UN,  is asking men to stand up and support gender equality - not just for the sake of women, but also for their own freedoms and for the welfare of our nation. Emma Watson is the Ambassador for He for She, and she gave an amazing speech yesterday in front of the UN.  She was given a well-deserved standing ovation.  Click here to check out HeForShe. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=c9SUAcNlVQ4 Todd reads a few questions from listeners about childhood anxiety. Cathy talks about the importance of being self aware, practicing self care, and why finding our calm can create calm in our kids. She also suggests that we ask kids how we can support them - if kids are met with understanding and compassion rather than fear and shame, they can usually offer their own solutions for change. Todd brings back "Tournament of Bad" and explains why he is frustrated with Sharon Osbourne. Other Resources If you think there are times when we put too much educational pr

In this "special edition" episode of ZPR, we discuss spanking and hitting, especially how it relates to the Adrian Peterson case. Three-fourths of our country still believes in spanking as an appropriate method of discipline, so instead of pointing fingers and demonizing, let's discuss, understand, and pay attention to why and how this became acceptable. Emotions, outbursts, and negative behavior are all messages; our children's way of communicating needs and challenges. Is causing them physical pain the best way to handle their self expression? Instead, can we take responsibility for the energy we bring, pay attention to our ability to listen and empathize, and focus on creating a connected and trusting relationship with our kids? In 1989 the United Nations proposed The Rights of a Child , this identified the human rights of a child, and made corporal punishment illegal.  38 countries ratified this resolution - the only two countries who did not were Somalia and the United States. As people and as parent

as they try to change their worlds....are immune to your consultations, they're quite aware of what they're going through - David Bowie's famous line from the song "Changes" sums up our misunderstanding of children today. Todd is sick of hearing people say kids are more spoiled than ever or kids are narcissistic, it was never like that when I was young...."The Myth of The Spoiled Child", a book by Alfie Kohn, proves that these assertions are simply not true. We play a few clips from the documentary "Moving Forward" - it helps us understand and respect the impact we have on our children.  More specifically we discuss the importance of two things that go wrong in childhood- things that should not happen, but do (abuse, neglect, etc.) and things that should happen, but don't (have you ever heard of the term proximal abandonment?) The full feature can be found on Netflix, but you can watch a 30 minute clip by clicking here.   We also discuss some improvements we have made to Be U, Inc, and how Cathy and I scare