Sinopsis
Hosted by funny moms Margaret Ables (Nick Mom) and Amy Wilson (When Did I Get Like This?), What Fresh Hell: Laughing in the Face of Motherhood is a comedy podcast solving todays parenting dilemmas so you dont have to. Were both moms of three, dealing with the same hassles as any parent, albeit with slightly differing styles. Margaret is laid-back to the max; Amy never met an expert or a list she didn't like. In each episode, we discuss a parenting issue from multiple perspectives and the accompanying expert advice that may or may not back us up. We talk about it, laugh about it, call out each others nonsense, and then we come up with concrete solutions. Join us as we laugh in the face of motherhood! Winner of the 2018 Iris Award for Best Podcast from the Mom 2.0 Summit, and the 2017 Podcast Awards Peoples Choice for Best Family and Parenting Podcast. whatfreshhellpodcast.com
Episodios
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Parenting Styles: Which Ones Are We (And Should We Care?)
21/08/2019 Duración: 50minHelicopter moms, snowplow moms, tiger moms, free-range moms… we usually define all of these parenting types in the negative: well, at least I’m not THAT. But are there useful takeaways from each of these parenting styles that we can combine cafeteria-style to create our own? Can we reject some of the judginess of free-range parenting, or the tyranny of tiger momming, and still find things to love? What do we miss when we reject other moms' ways of doing things full-stop? Here are links to the books and articles we mention in this episode: Frank Bruni: Where You Go Is Not Who You'll Be: An Antidote to the College Admissions Mania Amy Chua: Battle Hymn of the Tiger Mother Foster Cline and Jim Fay: Parenting With Love and Logic Nancy Gibbs for Time: Roaring Tigers, Anxious Choppers The Grammarphobia Blog: The Original Tiger Mother? Dr. James R. Laider for Autism Watch: The "Refrigerator Mother" Hypothesis of Autism Heather Marcoux for Motherly: 'Snowplow parents' and the lessons we can take from them Jessi
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Husband Crimes: Can This Marriage Be Saved?
14/08/2019 Duración: 56minWe asked you to tell us your spouses’ most unacceptable-- and also extremely minor-- household infractions. 356 of you responded. Whether it’s turning off the AC because it's "too cold" at 75 degrees, creating a Sock Mountain of not-quite-dirty-enough laundry, or pausing Netflix to point out plot holes, this episode explores everything spouses do that is trivially horrible. It must also be said: while these offenses are most often properly termed as Husband Crimes, this episode proves that Wives can also be guilty of using ten water glasses in one day, or of eating potato chips too loudly. It seems that no marriage is entirely free of Spouse Crimes. You are heard. You deserve justice. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices
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When Should Kids Tell?
07/08/2019 Duración: 53minMost little kids have an ironclad sense of right and wrong and are most happy to report on whoever might not be sharing in the dress-up corner. But as they get older, the stakes get a lot higher- for them, for us, and for the kid being "told on." When should kids tell? In this episode we discuss: the difference between "tattling" and telling, and whether telling kids "no tattling" is causing other problems; the difference between surprises and secrets; what to do when kids say, "I'm not sure if I should tell you this"; and whom kids should tell when they can't (or won't) tell you. Here are links to some of the research and writing on the topic discussed in this episode: Amy Morin for Very Well Family: Why Parents Shouldn't Tell Kids to Keep Secrets Marisa Cohen for Real Simple: How Much Privacy Should You Give Your Kids? Valerie Reiss for Great Schools: Does Saying "Don't Tattle" Send Kids the Wrong Message? Heidi Stevens for the Chicago Tribune: Tattling is bad, except when it's not Together Against Bul
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Imaginative Kids: Is It Ever Too Much of a Good Thing?
31/07/2019 Duración: 55minIs there such a thing as a too-imaginative kid? Parenting experts say no. Dr. Paul Harris, professor of education at Harvard and author of The Work of the Imagination, says that kids’ active imaginations are “essentially positive” and represent cognitive work, the way that children make sense of the world. But if you’ve got a kid who prefers her imaginary friend to making real ones— or who terrorizes the first grade by explaining how zombies can get into one’s home through the radiator— you might still wonder whether there comes a time to tamp it all down and force our kids to deal with reality. In this episode we talk about the considerable upsides of a huge imagination why some children have imaginary friends why some kids engage in “worldplay” for their imaginary worlds long after the other kids have moved on how to help anxious kids whose imaginations can become overly active how to encourage kids to engage in more imaginative play And here’s links to the books, articles, and r
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When Kids Prefer the Other Parent Over You (Or You Over Them)
24/07/2019 Duración: 50minMost of us have been (for better and for worse) recipients of the “only Mommy” level of attention from our little ones-- the sort of singular devotion that leaves our partners decidedly out in the cold. Many of us have also been on the outside looking in, with "Daddy’s girl" giving us none of the love, just eye rolls and the distinct impression that we rank not only second, but dead last. Why do kids prefer one parent over the other? Why do those allegiances shift? Are we supposed to ignore it, and our hurt feelings, because it’s normal and developmentally appropriate? Or are there times when we should push back against this behavior? Will it get even worse if we don't? Here are links to research and other writing on the topic we discuss in this episode: Janet Lansbury: When Children Prefer One Parent/ Ellen Weber Libby Ph.D. for Psychology Today: IS THERE A FAVORITE PARENT?/ Carl Pickhardt for Psychology Today: Adolescence and the Case of Odd Parent Out/ Kendra Cherry for Very Well Mind: The Oedipus Com
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The Mom Gap: Getting Back Out There (with guest Christina Geist)
17/07/2019 Duración: 01h03minAccording to the US Department of Labor, more than a third of college-educated women pause their careers for some amount of time to raise their children. But the jobs we leave behind aren't usually waiting for us with open arms. How do we own the time we've spent out of the workforce raising kids without apologizing for it? How do we re-enter careers that have shifted in our absence- or create entirely new opportunities for ourselves? We talk it all out with guest Christina Geist, a brand strategist, entrepreneur and children’s book author who lives in New York City with her husband, NBC and MSNBC host Willie Geist, and her two children. Her second children's book, Sorry Grown-Ups, You Can't Go To School!,is just out from Random House. In this episode Christina tells us how she bridged the mom gap and launched "a 2.0 version of myself in my 40s that my 20s self would have been so relieved to meet." Find out more about Christina, her new book, and Boombox Gifts on her website: christinageist.com. Here a
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When Your Kids Take Everything Out On You
10/07/2019 Duración: 53minMost parenting experts say being our kids’ safe space includes letting some amount of their snarkiness roll off our backs. It’s normal. Don’t take it personally. And knowing that it’s universal helps. Sometimes. A little. But we still struggle. Shouldn’t we insist on respect from our kids? And what happens when the eye-rolling and "God, Mom, don't you know anything?" really starts to wear us down? In this episode we discuss why kids take things out on us as parents (spoiler alert: it gets worse before it gets better) and how we can lower our reactivity in order to respond more effectively. Here’s links to research and other writing on the topic that we discuss: Christa Santangelo, PhD: A New Theory of Teenagers (book) Alice G. Walton for The Atlantic: 12 Ways to Mess Up Your Kids Sara Bean for Empowering Parents: “I Hate You, Mom! I Wish You Were Dead!” — When Kids Say Hurtful Things Kim Abraham for Empowering Parents: Anger, Rage and Explosive Outbursts: How to Respond to Your Child or Teen’s Anger Janet
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Teaching Kids Empathy
03/07/2019 Duración: 51minWhat is empathy, exactly? It involves both emotion and action. For our kids, it’s an acquired skill- one that needs our guidance and encouragement to be cultivated. Here’s how to model and teach empathetic behavior. In this episode we discuss why empathy needs to be taught in the first place, when is the right age to start, the difference between pity and empathy, and how becoming more empathetic can benefit yourself (and your own kids) just as it benefits others. Amy Webb says that establishing sameness is a great place to start: "Once your child has some understanding that some people are different, now is a great time to find some common ground: 'I bet she likes a lot of the same toys/games/food that you like.' You can then ask the child or the child’s caregiver what they like to do. Establishing sameness is KEY. This is when the light goes on and children realize, 'Oh, she’s just another kid, like me. We are more alike than different!'" Here are links to research and other writing on empathy that we dis
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House Rules That Work
26/06/2019 Duración: 51minWe asked our listeners to tell us their go-to House Rules. Whether these words to live by are hanging in your kitchen written in cutesy script on a faux-weathered piece of wood (“in this house we give hugs”) or have been implanted in your children’s brains simply by your repeatedly screaming them, here are your (and our) best House Rules for: screens, fighting, pets, personal space, the dinner table, sleep, Saturdays, secrets, and being nice. Join the conversation in our Facebook group! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices
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Finding Your Mom Tribe
19/06/2019 Duración: 50minMom tribes are a thing… for some of us. Others find it harder to make and maintain fun, easygoing friendships with other parents. But should we feel bad if we don’t have a “Sex and the City”-style group that are all equally close and whom we see three times a week? Our listener Hester describes a mom tribe this way: like-minded moms with similar age kids who have one another's backscan be one or many, depending on your comfort level more precious than ever when the traditional support system of close family is not availableIn this episode, we discuss our listeners’ advice on how to find mom tribes, how to deepen connections with the one you may already have-- plus whether online tribes count (yes). In a day and age when our siblings and parents might live far away, it’s worth investing ourselves in the communities that can happen wherever we are. Here's how writer Jenny Anderson explains it: I used to think that community was as simple as having friends who bring a lasagna when things fall apart and ch
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Letting Our Kids Feel Unsafe (In a Safe Way) with Guest Evangeline Lilly
12/06/2019 Duración: 52minStudies show that risky play creates what Dr. Ellen Sandseter calls a “motivating, thrilling activation,” building self-confidence and self-esteem. Message received: we’re supposed to allow our kids to take risks. But how risky? Like thin-ice risky? What if our kids are fraidy-cats? What if we are? In this episode we discuss the differences between risks and hazards and how to bring healthy doses of risk into our kids’ lives. Our kids need to learn what discomfort is- and how to deal with it- in order to feel competent and confident in the world. We also talk expanding the boundaries of what’s acceptable for our little ones with Evangeline Lilly— yes, that Evangeline Lilly! The award-winning star of TV’s Lost and films like Avengers: Endgame and The Hobbit is also the author of The Squickerwonkers book series, which Evangeline wrote to "open a portal for children of all ages to face and talk about the darker sides of their own natures.” Think Lemony Snicket meets Edward Gorey, with impossibly gorgeous illustr
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Making It Work for the Long Haul (with guest Belinda Luscombe)
05/06/2019 Duración: 56minThe familiarity of long-term relationships is the best thing about them. And the worst. When our spouses' chewing or throat-clearing is enough to send us around the bend, how do we make our relationships work for the long haul? We discuss the latest research with Belinda Luscombe, author of the informative (and hilarious) new book MARRIAGEOLOGY: THE ART AND SCIENCE OF STAYING TOGETHER. After writing about relationships for Time magazine for a decade, Belinda draws on expert advice (and twenty-seven years in the marital trenches) to explain why marriage is better for your health, your finances, your kids, and your happiness. Luscombe argues that we don’t find our soulmates- we become them: "This is what love is, actually. Not a fluttery feeling... but a willingness to throw down for that person, a conscious decision to do whatever you can to make that person's life a little better, more fun, less stressful." Here are links to some of the research and other things we discuss in this episode: Nick North and his
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Sleep Hacks (For All Ages and Stages)
29/05/2019 Duración: 51minGot kids? Got exhaustion. Every age has its sleep challenges, and in this episode we discuss the absolute best sleep hacks for getting babies, toddlers, preschoolers, and even older kids napping, sleeping, and staying asleep. Here are just a few of the topics you will hear about in this chock-full-of-useful-advice episode: the importance of routine for even the youngest childrenthe absolute essential-ness of REAL blackout shades (Amy loves this cheap and easy-to-install brand) why the sleep sack isn’t just for babies how to get preschoolers to stay in bed past the first crack of dawn when co-sleeping might be the best answer the best playlists and apps to help set the sleepytime mood why sleep training is never a matter of “one and done” Special thanks to everyone who sent in sleep hacks for this episode, especially Lori Strong and Sara Strong of Strong Little Sleepers Dr. Sarah Mitchell of Helping Babies Sleep Patti Smith of The Pickup Line, a daily newsletter for moms Rachel of Cha Ching Queen Huckleb
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Making Big Changes as a Family (with guest Jill Krause)
22/05/2019 Duración: 54minHave you ever considered selling the house, homeschooling the kids, and traveling for a year? Has a job or life change ever thrust a cross-country move, or other radical change, upon your family? Does the very notion strike terror in your heart? In this episode, we discuss how to prepare for— and make— big changes as a family. Change feels huger and scarier when you have kids, in part because routine and structure and familiarity are the things that kids crave, and need in order to survive. But our guest Jill Krause argues that structure, routine, and family togetherness can be found in all sorts of places. Jill’s Happy Loud Life YouTube channel has chronicled the travels of her family of six as they spent the last sixteen months touring the United States in an RV. With— you read that right— four children. Including a toddler. So nobody is saying radical change is easy. If it were, there’d be no point in undergoing it. But change is possible. And it doesn’t always mean permanent. What “change” means, in f
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Do We Really Have To Play With Our Kids? When Parenting Feels Relentless
15/05/2019 Duración: 50minAccording to researcher Patrick Ishizuka, "intensive parenting has become the dominant cultural model." Sounds about right. We spend triple the time actively engaging with our kids that our own parents did with us. And even then, we all feel guilty that we're not doing more. (Or that we kind of hate playing with LOL Surprise! Dolls, and we aren't hiding it very well.) But is more always better? Are our modern hyper-organized days creating children who have no idea how to occupy themselves, who need either a screen or one-on-one adult attention at all times? Do we *have* to play with our kids? Is there a way for parenting to feel a little less relentless? Here are links to research and other writing we discuss in this episode: Claire Cain Miller for the New York Times: The Relentlessness of Modern Parenting Rebecca Onion for Slate: Playtime is Over Suzanne M. Bianchi et al: Changing Rhythms of American Family Life Janet Lansbury: RIE Parenting Basics (9 Ways to Put Respect into Action) Learn more about your
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Mom Wins! (and Mother's Day Fails)
08/05/2019 Duración: 47minHappy Mother’s Day Week! In this episode we salute YOU, Mom. Our listeners told us their biggest mom wins and we are passing out some awards- like to Francesca, who has convinced her rambunctious two-year-old that the signs in most public spaces say that all little boys have to stand right next to their mommies. We also address the various ways that our small children’s Mother’s Day art projects have completely ratted us out. If you’ve ever stood in the hallway outside a kindergarten classroom and seen, projected in three-inch crayoned letters, the proclamation that your own favorite food is “BEER,” we are here for you. Check out whatfreshhellpodcast.com for Amy’s “mom prom” picture and Billy Collins’ poem The Lanyard, which perfectly encapsulates the insufficiency of any Mother’s Day gift to properly thank us for what we do. You know what? That’s the point. No thanks *can* be good enough. So enjoy those lukewarm eggs benedict and hastily-purchased greeting cards! You’re worth it- and so very much more.
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Screen-Free Week: How To Survive and Why It's Worth It
24/04/2019 Duración: 52minWe all know it: our kids are on screens too much. And us parents? Well, if you haven't used Apple's Screen Time function yet, prepare to be horrified. So have you ever considered a cold-turkey no-screens experiment in your home? Screen Free Week is coming up, and it gives us the perfect opportunity to present the idea to our families. But no, you might be saying. We couldn't possibly. My kids would fight! We need that down time! There's all that candy to crush! And to that we say, fear not, because we did it first. And we are here to tell you that you won't just find hours of time- you will, as Margaret put it, see entire bandwidths of your children's brains come alive that you hadn't even realized were asleep. In this episode we discuss how to sell screen-free week to the kids, how to prepare, how to survive, and why we think it's worth it! Here are links to resources and research discussed in this episode: screenfree.org unpluggedfamily.org screenlifebalance.com Kevin Roose for NYT: Do Not Disturb: How
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Changing How We Talk To Our Kids (with guest Dr. Wendy Mogel)
17/04/2019 Duración: 01h02minIt’s easy for most parents to explain what’s wrong with how our kids speak to us: the snark, sarcasm, and eye-rolling are all things we could use a lot less of. But could the way we talk to our kids use a little fine-tuning as well? Dr. Wendy Mogel’s latest book, Voice Lessons for Parents: What to Say, How to Say It, and When To Listen, is just out in paperback. In this episode, Dr. Wendy Mogel tells us how to bridge the ever-more-complicated communication gap between parents and children, no matter what age our kids are. Over the last two years we've quoted Dr. Mogel more than any other parenting expert, and no surprise- this interview is full of "aha moments" and great ideas. You can read and download the full transcript here. And if you still need a little convincing that we should be focusing on the faults with our own parental communication, rather than the shortcomings of our children’s techniques, consider this quote from another classic of parenting advice, How to Talk So Kids Will Listen and Liste
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100th Episode! The Best Stories We Haven't Told Yet
10/04/2019 Duración: 50min100 episodes in, and we still have a few stories left to tell! In this episode we try to stump each other by playing "True or False." True or False: Amy's child once embarrassed her horribly in front of Gwyneth Paltrow. True or False: Margaret *almost* had her first child in a hallway. Listen and learn! Thanks so much to all of our listeners who have helped us grow this show for one hundred episodes. We're honored that you're out there. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices
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Youth Sports: If You Must
03/04/2019 Duración: 47minIs there a middle ground in youth sports? Is there a place to exist between the nine-year-old icing his shoulder after a session with his pitching coach and the kid who bats last and hates every minute and never plays a team sport again? There used to be (back in our day). There can be. But in a world where families spend 10% or more of their yearly household income on travel teams, equipment, coaches, and gear, that friendly, non-intense approach has become a lot harder to find. In this episode we discuss how to keep the “play” in playing sports how to push back against coaches and leagues that tell third-graders they have to specialize surviving early-spring double-headers at the baseball field when to let kids quit (70% of kids quit a team sport by age 13 because it’s too intense) why girls are more likely to quit than boysand when to follow your kid’s passion, even if it means turning all of your weekends over to lacrosseand the only thing you should ever ever say to your child after a game. Here's l