What Fresh Hell: Laughing In The Face Of Motherhood

Can we make kids more anxious by being too protective? If kids are statistically safer than ever, why does it feel so hard to keep our kids safe? Psychologist Dr. Camilo Ortiz explains how such overparenting can be counterproductive for kids, and how to take a step back. Dr. Ortiz is the developer of "Independence Therapy," a new treatment for child anxiety. Margaret and Dr. Ortiz discuss: -why kids today have less freedom -how less freedom contributes to anxiety in kids -how the definition of "good parenting" has changed over the years Here's where you can find Dr. Ortiz: -X: @DrCamiloOrtiz -https://drcamiloortiz.squarespace.com/ -Dr. Camilo Ortiz and Lenore Skenazy for the NYT: "This Simple Fix Could Help Anxious Kids" -Listen to our Fresh Take with Lenore Skenazy We love the sponsors that make this show possible! You can always find all the special deals and codes for all our current sponsors on our website: https://www.whatfreshhellpodcast.com/p/promo-codes/ mom friends, funny moms, parenting advice,

How can positive psychology help us create more of what we want for ourselves in this new year? Life coach Ann Imig takes Margaret and Amy through some of her coursework and tells us how to connect our already-existing personality strengths to more joy and well-being. Ann Imig is an award-winning writer, speaker, and performer, currently working as a certified positive psychology life coach. In 2010 she created the nationwide storytelling series and book titled Listen to Your Mother. Ann, Amy, and Margaret discuss: -taking stock of the previous year and using that knowledge to create what's next -how the character strengths quiz can help you create more well-being -how to get more of what we want in 2024 Here's where you can find Ann Imig: -ListenLifeCoaching.com -Get a free 30-minute consultation with Ann! -Preview the "Year BEGIN" Workshop -Listen to Ann's podcast "It's Pronounced Memwah" with Wendy Aarons and Mariana Olenko -Take the character strengths quiz: https://viacharacter.org/ We love the sponso

Do your kids fight as much as they breathe? It's as normal as it is infuriating. This week Amy answers a question from our Instagram page: Man, am I struggling. My kids are four and two and all they do is fight. It’s constant. (The four year old is a girl and the two year old is a boy.) They hit, scream, fight, all morning and night. I try not to react too much, but... you get the idea. This kind of fighting is definitely in the #itgetsbetter category, but it's an extremely intense season while you're in it. The first thing to let go of is that siblings should get along, love each other, live in perfect harmony. For the next six months or a year, keep them separate! One in the yard, one in the playroom. One coloring in the kitchen, one playing trucks on the windowsill. Lower any expectations you have around what they should be doing together, and the fighting will go down. Blank-facing is the other arrow in your quiver. Fighting is not interesting to you. If someone is actually hurt, tend to the injured party

If you're parent of a child with ADHD, you are familiar with the battles of will that can result. What are the best ways to help kids with ADHD succeed without either coddling them or coming down too hard on them? Are you the parent of a child with ADHD who feels like nothing you try is working? Ryan Wexelblatt, also known as the "ADHD Dude," is here to help. Ryan, a licensed clinical social worker and father to a son with ADHD, creates content for the ADHDude YouTube channel and ADDitude Magazine. Ryan also provides parent training, in-person school-year programs, and a summer camp for boys.  Ryan, Amy, and Margaret discuss: -How to talk to kids with siblings who have ADHD -Why behavior prompts actually don't help long-term -How to use scaffolding to build important skills for kids Firm boundaries and consistency, rather than permissive parenting or special treatment, are going to help kids with ADHD more in the long-run, Ryan explains. Helping kids visualize the consequences of their actions– whether those

Sometimes all the "treasure every moment, Mama" content can make us feel like it's all downhill from here, that as our kids get older, each year of parenting becomes a little less special. This suspicion is confirmed when we're with our little ones at the grocery store and an older woman takes us in, nods knowingly, then says with a raised eyebrow, "Just you wait." But wait for what? Does only peril and sass-mouth lie ahead? In this episode we discuss how parenting changes, and why that change is not to be feared or resisted. Some things honestly change for the better. Some things for sure you miss. But all change is absolutely, totally okay. For more on this topic, and in particular the answers to "yes but when does it change for the EASIER?", check out our episode Your Life Begins Again When... (The Second Half of Parenting) We love the sponsors that make this show possible! You can always find all the special deals and codes for all our current sponsors on our website: https://www.whatfreshhellpodcast.com/

Right now there's a mental health crisis among teenagers. But teens are also highly emotional creatures by design. Adolescent psychologist Dr. Lisa Damour thinks the two are starting to get conflated– and that means parents and educators can sometimes overcorrect in their responses to teens' emotional outbursts. Dr. Lisa Damour co-hosts the Ask Lisa podcast and writes about adolescents for the The New York Times, in addition to her clinical practice. She is the author of two New York Times bestsellers: Untangled: Guiding Teenage Girls Through the Seven Transitions into Adulthood and Under Pressure: Confronting the Epidemic of Stress and Anxiety in Girls. Dr. Lisa's latest book is called The Emotional Lives of Teenagers: Raising Connected, Capable, and Compassionate Adolescents. In this interview Amy and Lisa discuss: -Why good sleep is the first thing we need to help dysregulated teens solve -What the pandemic actually revealed about teens' mental health -Key myths and misconceptions about adolescent emotions

From how to eat a Reese's peanut butter cup, to *not* saving the pandas, to the forever-ban of helium balloons, our listeners are funny moms who are willing to die on some pretty tiny hills. Here's what mountains you all are making out of mole hills– plus a few of our own tiny battles. We love the sponsors that make this show possible! You can always find all the special deals and codes for all our current sponsors on our website: https://www.whatfreshhellpodcast.com/p/promo-codes/ mom friends, funny moms, parenting advice, parenting experts, parenting tips, mothers, families, parenting skills, parenting strategies, parenting styles, busy moms, self-help for moms, manage kid’s behavior, teenager, toddler, baby, tween, child development, family activities, family fun, parent child relationship, decluttering, kid-friendly, invisible workload, default parent Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

’Tis the season for traditions— most of that holiday work shopped for, planned, and generally upheld by moms. And for some of us, sending 300 holiday cards or creating a new tableau for a six-inch elf every night before bed really gets us in the holiday spirit. But most of us, at this time of year, have more to do than hours to do it. Many of us think we’re done shopping and only then remember Aunt Doris who is impossible to buy for (and has expressed specific disappointment in giftcards). Many of us have kids at whom we may have raised our voices after the fifth or sixth question about when we were going to make all the Christmas cookies this year.  So we asked our listeners: What are the holiday traditions that you love and work great for your family? What are the things you’d rather never do again but feel like you can’t stop now? In this episode, we discuss your responses, plus: -how to get out from under the traditions you wished you never started -what to consider before letting a new tradition take

Are picky eaters a reflection of their parenting? How in control are moms and das when it comes to kids' willingness to eat a variety of foods? Amy Palanjian, creator of yummytoddlerfood.com and author of the NYT bestselling book DINNERTIME SOS, is here to reframe our parental anxieties around feeding our kids every single day. Amy and Margaret discuss: -where to start when it comes to feeding your picky eater -why we shouldn't expect kids to "make healthy choices" -how to make dinnertime less stressful for everyone Here's where you can find Amy: -@yummytoddlerfood -yummytoddlerfood.com -Buy DINNERTIME SOS: https://bookshop.org/a/12099/9780593578506 We love the sponsors that make this show possible! You can always find all the special deals and codes for all our current sponsors on our website: https://www.whatfreshhellpodcast.com/p/promo-codes/ mom friends, funny moms, parenting advice, parenting experts, parenting tips, mothers, families, parenting skills, parenting strategies, parenting styles,

We look back on our favorite parenting tips and takeaways we learned this year. Here's the Spotify playlist with all of our favorite episodes from 2023! Here are the parenting experts who changed our thinking the most, the listeners who made us laugh the most, and what we're going to carry with us into the new year. We also shout out the fantastic small team that makes What Fresh Hell and our podcast network, Adalyst Media, run so smoothly. All women, all amazing. Our listeners are amazing, too. Thank you for being part of our funny, fun, supportive community. If you haven't yet, join our Facebook group, the last good place on the internet: https://www.facebook.com/groups/whatfreshhellcast We love the sponsors that make this show possible! You can always find all the special deals and codes for all our current sponsors on our website: https://www.whatfreshhellpodcast.com/p/promo-codes/ mom friends, funny moms, parenting advice, parenting experts, parenting tips, mothers, families, parenting skills, pa

We’re in Christmas/Hanukkah/Kwanzaa Countdown! To keep you company while you slowly lose your mind, we’re re-running some of our favorite holiday episodes. This week we're revisiting "Handling the Holiday Craziness" — need we say more? Each December 25th, most moms look at a living room full of scattered wrapping paper and vow to do less next year. Then Black Friday rolls around. But can you really downshift on how much Santa brings once a baseline has been established?  This week Amy and Margaret talk about managing the holiday craziness. (Disclaimer: for both of us, that does mean Christmas, although we feel the pain of the Hanukkah Harriets out there, we really do). Here’s some of what’s discussed in this episode:   -how to get your kids more involved in holiday preparations— at any age - the very appealing “three kings, three gifts” rule -how to carefully consider any new holiday “traditions” before instating them (we’re looking at you, Elf on the Shelf) -how the Laws of Holiday Attrition can work in y

How does our cultural upbringing influence the way we parent? Ed Center, founder of Village Well Parenting, discusses how culturally grounded positive parenting can bring connection, joy, and healing to both kid-raisers and educators. Ed has spent his career supporting low-income, underrepresented youth and adults by helping them gain access to the resources necessary to thrive. He started The Village Well to bring more connection, joy, and healing to families of color. In this interview, Amy and Ed discuss: -The lack of attention to diverse cultures and traditions in traditional parenting courses and literature -How generational wisdom can sometimes come from the same source as generational trauma -How to stay calm when your children are not Here's where you can find Ed: -https://www.villagewellparenting.com -IG: @villagewellparenting -FB: @thevillagewell -TikTok: @queerbrowndad -Sign up for First Fridays with Ed on this page We love the sponsors that make this show possible! You can always fi

The average adult makes 35,000 decisions a day. The average "default parent" makes a lot more than that. No wonder we suffer from decision fatigue. The more decisions we have to make, the more fatigue we develop, and the more difficult it can become to function. So how can we combat the frustration, apathy, and resentment that result from having to make all the decisions in the family? In this episode we discuss: -how decision fatigue manifests—and how it differs from burnout -the best time of day to make hard decisions -why "going with the flow" is not actually a thing Sign up for What Fresh Hell Plus on Supporting Cast to get all episodes ad-free, plus monthly bonus episodes. Supporting Cast works right where you already listen! Go to whatfreshhell.supportingcast.fm to subscribe in two taps for just $4.99 a month, or $39.99 a year. Here are links to some of the resources mentioned in the episode: -Sara Berg for the American Medical Association: "What doctors wish patients knew about decision fatigue" -

We’re in Christmas/Hanukkah/Kwanzaa Countdown! To keep you company while you slowly lose your mind, we’re re-running some of our favorite holiday episodes. This week we're revisiting our interview with Susan Katz Miller, author of THE INTERFAITH FAMILY JOURNAL. The holidays are always intense, and if your family is an intersection of multiple traditions, it can really ratchet up the pressure for perfection times two. Which is when it’s time to maintain perspective. As Susan explains: “I try to help people to understand that if they're having conflict often, it's not about religious difference. It's not about theology. It's not about whether there was an actual physical resurrection or not. It's usually about whether to put the fried onions on the green bean casserole or not.” In this episode we discuss -why every family is an interfaith family -how to reduce conflict about traditions with your spouse’s extended family -how to help your spouse when the hard feelings are on your family’s side -how to push b

What does it mean to be "touched out" as a mom? And once we know it's a thing—as anyone who's experienced it firsthand can attest—is there anything we can actually do about it? Amanda Montei, author of the popular Substack Mad Woman and the new book TOUCHED OUT, has studied the phenomenon of "maternal touch aversion" in both the literal and metaphorical senses. In this interview, Amanda, Margaret, and Amy discuss: -what being "touched out" really means—and why guilt and shame often accompanies it -the "very not normal" conditions of today's American parenting -how can we can begin to claim the space we want for our own selves, and model that for our children Here's where you can find Amanda: -https://www.amandamontei.com/ -Mad Woman Substack: https://amandamontei.substack.com/ -@amontei on IG -@amanda.montei on Facebook -Buy TOUCHED OUT: https://bookshop.org/a/12099/9780807013274 We love the sponsors that make this show possible! You can always find all the special deals and codes for all our c

We all have things we dread about the holiday season, whether we celebrate Christmas, Hanukkah, Kwanzaa, or a combination of the above. In this episode we are here to list all the "fresh hells" of this time of year, like: the terrors of Santa's lap the people who are impossible to buy for the grandparents who take all of our best gift ideas the approaching storm system as you check in for your flight to Nana's We do love the holidays, though. Really, we do. Remind us of that. This episode was inspired by this discussion on our Facebook page: What do you dread most about the holiday season? Join the fun: https://facebook.com/groups/whatfreshhellcast We love the sponsors that make this show possible! You can always find all the special deals and codes for all our current sponsors on our website: https://www.whatfreshhellpodcast.com/p/promo-codes/ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

We’re in Christmas/Hanukkah/Kwanzaa Countdown! To keep you company while you slowly lose your mind, we’re re-running some of our favorite holiday episodes. This week we're revisiting "The Most Everything Time of the Year" and how the intensity really ratches up as soon as Thanksgiving is behind us. Are you juggling “dress as your favorite reindeer” day at preschool with frantic texts from your sister-in-law asking what your spouse wants for Christmas? Are you feeling like hiding under the covers instead of hitting the office holiday party?  It’s the most everything time of the year, and women report the holidays as being far more stressful than men do.  In this episode we discuss how to manage the holiday stress, how to accept the non-cozy feelings that may arise, and why it’s okay to dial back if you’re really not feeling the holiday spirit.  Here are links to some of the writing on the topic that we discuss in this episode:  Pooja Lakshmin on Instagram @womensmentalhealthdoc Greenberg Quinlan Rosner Resea

How can we set reasonable limits for our kids without negotiating every single time they're tested? Erica Ladd and Kelsey Wharton, co-hosts of "The Girl Next Door Podcast," discuss tips for setting boundaries—and not just at the holidays, but all year round. Margaret, Kelsey, and Erica discuss: Why holidays are so boundary-crushing Everyday actions you can take to practice setting boundaries Why boundaries are not just for handling "crazymakers" Here's where you can find Kelsey and Erica: https://www.girlnextdoorpodcast.com/ @higirlsnextdoor on Instagram Listen to the GND episode "Ten Things We're NOT Doing This Christmas" We love the sponsors that make this show possible! You can always find all the special deals and codes for all our current sponsors on our website: https://www.whatfreshhellpodcast.com/p/promo-codes/ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Have you and your spouse slipped into "angry partners at the 24/7 daycare" mode since your baby was born? Here's why relationships change after kids, and some real solutions that can help us get through it. Amy and Margaret discuss: The number-one reason relationships change after a baby is born Helpful perspectives for maintaining sanity during early parenthood Small steps for building back connection with your partner Here are links to some of the resources mentioned in the episode: Jessica Grose for the NYT: Fighting Constantly after Baby? Read This Doss BD, et al. The Effect of the Transition to Parenthood on Relationship Quality: An Eight-Year Prospective Study. Alex Vance for Verywell Family: 4 Ways To Focus On Your Relationship When the Kids Keep You Busy Jessica Grose for the NYT: Bickering More After Kids? Learn how to avoid the four horsemen of the relationship apocalypse. Christina Caron for the NYT: How to Reconnect with Your Partner After Kids Judd Apatow: "Who Slept Worse?" Che

We’re in Christmas/Hanukkah/Kwanzaa Countdown! To keep you company while you slowly lose your mind, we’re re-running some of our favorite holiday episodes. This one is about the "holiday creep" which, if you're reading this, has already begun... "Holiday Creep" is well on its way to being an entry in Merriam-Webster's dictionary. And with good reason. Amy and Margaret bemoan the fact the Christmas seems to start ever earlier, and weigh in on their strategies for managing the gift giving, decorating, and scheduling craziness at this time of year. Amy and Margaret discuss: Why Margaret is everyone's Christmas nightmare The 3 best rules for holiday gift giving When Christmas should REALLY start The solution to all the madness? Let the laws of holiday attrition work in your favor! If something falls off the list of priorities or is just no longer fun, take it off the calendar. Ask for a no-gift-exchange policy amongst family, friends, and coworkers, and find your "no" when it comes to holiday events, tasks,