What Fresh Hell: Laughing In The Face Of Motherhood

How do we know when our kids are old enough to walk home alone? Wear makeup? Get a phone? It definitely depends on the kid, your family situation, and the community where you live, but we think there are few ground rules—and some scaffolding it's a good idea to have in place. Amy and Margaret discuss: why social media may be the thing to delay, more than the phone why it can be tricky to leave older siblings in charge of younger siblings even when they actually are old enough when kids are old enough to "date" (which depends on what the meaning of the word "date" is) Here are links to some of the resources mentioned in the episode: Our Fresh Take with Camilo Ortiz We love the sponsors that make this show possible! You can always find all the special deals and codes for all our current sponsors on our website: https://www.whatfreshhellpodcast.com/p/promo-codes/ mom friends, funny moms, parenting advice, parenting experts, parenting tips, mothers, families, parenting skills, parenting strategies, parenti

This month, we're doing a deep dive series into mom guilt—why it's so pervasive and what we can do about it. You can find the playlist with all of the episodes in the series here. JoAnn Crohn of No Guilt Mom is a parenting educator who helps moms feel confident in everything from raising empowered, self-sufficient kids to dropping the anxiety and guilt out of modern parenthood. No Guilt Mom offers self-paced digital courses in handling big emotions, getting kids to help out more, creating a morning routine, and conquering the homework drama. JoAnn is the co-host of the No Guilt Mom podcast, a former board-certified middle-school teacher, and a mom to 2 kids, ages 13 and 8. In this episode, Amy and JoAnn discuss: Why rewards charts taught as classroom strategies can often become counterproductive Why kids do well if they can When rewards charts actually DO work No Guilt Mom's HAPPY approach to parenting more effectively– while raising happier, more self-sufficient kids at the same time... Here's where y

How can a step-parent gain the trust of her kids as she becomes part of their family? Cameron Normand, founder of Stepfamily Solutions, discusses her own experience as a stepmom and offers some helpful takeaways for navigating stepfamily dynamics. Cameron and Margaret discuss: The biggest misconception about stepfamily life Cameron's top piece of advice for new stepmoms How to deal with a stepchild or ex-spouse who is less than accepting Here's where you can find Cameron: stepfamilysolutions.com @stepfamilysolutions on FB, IG, and TikTok Listen to Cameron's podcast "The Stepmom Diaries" We love the sponsors that make this show possible! You can always find all the special deals and codes for all our current sponsors on our website: https://www.whatfreshhellpodcast.com/p/promo-codes/ manifest reality, positive thinking, toxic positivity, magical thinking, mom friends, funny moms, parenting advice, parenting experts, parenting tips, mothers, families, parenting skills, parenting strategies, parenting

When we explain to our partners and families that we need them to pitch in around the house, we sometimes hear back that the real problem is our too-high standards. That if we actually think "doing the laundry" means FOLDING the laundry, instead of leaving it in the dryer, that that is just too high a bar. Eve Rodsky, author of FAIR PLAY, suggests that partners establish a "minimum standard of care" for household duties. But how does that get set? And is that really all it takes? In this episode Amy and Margaret discuss: How to use "community standards" to determine minimum standards of care The tired old idea that women have impossible standards Why it might be your system that's the problem, and not your partner Here are links to some of the resources mentioned in the episode: Sheila Wray Gregoire for Bare Marriage: EMOTIONAL LABOR SERIES: HOW DO WE DECIDE WHAT NEEDS TO BE DONE? Listen to our Fresh Take with Eve Rodsky Eve Rodsky's FAIR PLAY: https://bookshop.org/a/12099/9780525541943 Leslie Gold

This month, we're doing a deep dive series into mom guilt—why it's so pervasive and what we can do about it. You can find the playlist with all of the episodes in the series here. Dr. Pooja Lakshmin, MD is a psychiatrist and author specializing in women's mental health. She is a frequent contributor to The New York Times and the founder of Gemma, the first digital education platform dedicated exclusively to women’s mental health. Dr. Lakshmin is most passionate about empowering women and sees her clinical work as a perinatal psychiatrist as an extension of this mission. In this episode we discuss mom guilt, stress, self-care, the anxiety of this ongoing pandemic moment, and how we can reclaim ourselves amidst it all.  You can find Pooja on Instagram @poojalakshmin and at her website: poojalakshmin.com We love the sponsors that make this show possible! You can always find all the special deals and codes for all our current sponsors on our website: https://www.whatfreshhellpodcast.com/p/promo-codes/ mom frien

Are female friendships really more complicated than male friendships? Does that make our friendships more valuable? Danielle Bayard Jackson is a female friendship coach and educator on the science of women’s platonic connections. In her new book FIGHTING FOR OUR FRIENDSHIPS, Danielle explains what makes female friendship strong as well as tips for making and keeping great friends.  In this interview, Danielle and Amy discuss: The three central affinities that bring women together: secrecy, symmetry, and support How to compassionately approach friends who are flaky Scripts for navigating common issues in friendships Here's where you can find Danielle: www.betterfemalefriendships.com @daniellebayardjackson on IG @thefriendshipexpert on TikTok Listen to the "Friend Forward" podcast Buy FIGHTING FOR OUR FRIENDSHIPS: https://bookshop.org/a/12099/9780306830617 We love the sponsors that make this show possible! You can always find all the special deals and codes for all our current sponsors on our websi

This month, we take the Myers-Briggs personality test live on air—Margaret answers with her first instinct and Amy parses every question within an inch of its life. The results will and will not surprise you... Sign up for What Fresh Hell Plus on Supporting Cast to get all episodes ad-free, plus monthly bonus episodes. Supporting Cast works right where you already listen! Go to whatfreshhell.supportingcast.fm to subscribe in two taps for just $4.99 a month, or $39.99 a year. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Is one morning of runny eggs and burnt toast really fair payback for 364 days of work? Does "Mother's Day" have to mean packing the kids for a two-hour drive to see your mom and/or mother-in-law? Why does Mother's Day often feel like it's more trouble than it's worth? Margaret and Amy discuss: Anna Jarvis and the rather tragic origins of Mother's Day "minor Mother's Day" vs "major Mother's Day," and how to deliver that message How to ask for—and get—the Mother's Day that feels right for you Margaret mentions "The Lanyard" by Billy Collins in this episode. We love the sponsors that make this show possible! You can always find all the special deals and codes for all our current sponsors on our website: https://www.whatfreshhellpodcast.com/p/promo-codes/ Mother's Day, making mom feel special mom friends, funny moms, parenting advice, parenting experts, parenting tips, mothers, families, parenting skills, parenting strategies, parenting styles, busy moms, self-help for moms, manage kid’s behavior, teenager,

This month, we're doing a deep dive series into mom guilt—why it's so pervasive and what we can do about it. You can find the playlist with all of the episodes in the series here. "Mom guilt" is shorthand for what we think are two pretty different things: the universal, low-grade feelings of inadequacy that our soccer snacks aren't as good as Monica's the intense, deeply personal shame that we are definitely the only horrible parent who has ever allowed their baby to roll off the changing table Yes, we take on these feelings of guilt and shame—but society is pretty quick to hand them to us. In this episode we discuss why there isn't such a thing as "dad guilt" why mom guilt might serve as a sort of magical thinking if we can at least skip the feeling guilty about HAVING mom guilt part Here are links to some studies and other writing on this topic that we discuss in this episode: Lara Bazelon for The Atlantic: The End of Mom Guilt Amy Paturel for The Washington Post: Why we feel 'mom guilt'—and ho

How can we tear our kids away from the increasingly addictive video games they can't get enough of? Dr. Alok Kanojia, author of the book HOW TO RAISE A HEALTHY GAMER, explains how to talk to kids about their video game addiction. Dr. Kanojia is a former gaming addict and a Harvard-trained psychiatrist who has developed evidence-based programs that helped tens of thousands of gamers overcome their addiction. Margaret and Dr. Kanojia discuss: Signs that someone is addicted to something and why gaming can fill a void How to talk to your gamer about healthy habits Enforcing boundaries around gaming and dealing with resistance to those boundaries Here's where you can find Dr. Kanojia: Follow Dr.K's podcast HealthyGamerGG https://open.spotify.com/show/6VaJwyS2KXxiXqR77jqzmP Check out Dr.K's Book, How to Raise a Healthy Gamer https://bit.ly/4c8BNkr     Healthy Gamer Website https://www.healthygamer.gg/   Instagram: @healthygamergg X: @dralokkanjia YouTube: @healthy gamer GG TikTok: @healthygamer.gg W

Follow us on YouTube! Are you worried your picky eater will never eat a vegetable as long as they live? Here are some parenting tips for picky eaters—and some updates on Amy and Margaret's own picky eaters since recording our very first episode 8 years ago! (It's good news.) Amy and Margaret discuss: Why it's helpful to make food the least interesting thing at the dinner table How to maintain your own sanity around mealtimes by meeting kids where they are Why dinnertime is actually the worst time of day to get kids to try new foods How pairing and "food chaining" can help expand your picky eaters' palates Here is a link to one of the resources mentioned in the episode: Benioff Childrens Hospitals: Picky Eaters We love the sponsors that make this show possible! You can always find all the special deals and codes for all our current sponsors on our website: https://www.whatfreshhellpodcast.com/p/promo-codes/ manifest reality, positive thinking, toxic positivity, magical thinking, mom friends, funny mom

Parenting as a team is an ongoing challenge– even when your relationship with your co-parent is usually harmonious. But matching headspaces with your co-parent about a problem your family, or one of your children, is dealing with doesn't have to be the goal.  Parenting as a team can often mean taking turns, whether it's with the pancake-flipping, the hard talks with teenagers, or the 3 am worried Googling of ICD-10 diagnoses. In this episode we talk about what’s worked for us in moments of disagreement or struggle with our spouses, and how we found common ground. If getting through the pandemic meant zooming in, just getting to the next lamppost, parenting as a team means zooming way out. If you know you're on the same page about the adults you want your children to become, it's a little easier to chill out about how they’ll get there.  Here are links to some of the resources mentioned in the episode: Amy and Margaret discuss their "Pre-Cana" experiences in the Catholic Church, and the usefulness of the Engag

Why are stereotypes of teenage girls rarely flattering? And what important traits are we not acknowledging in these young women? Chelsey Goodan, author of the new book UNDERESTIMATED: The Wisdom and Power of Teenage Girls, explains what teenage girls really want and need from us. Chelsey and Amy discuss: The generational shift towards a culture of support and empowerment among young girls today The significance of offering agency to young girls in shaping their identities and futures What teenage girls want from their parents more than anything else Here's where you can find Chelsey: https://www.chelseygoodan.com @chelseygoodan on IG and X Buy UNDERSTIMATED: https://bookshop.org/a/12099/9781668032688 https://www.democrashe.org/ https://www.acalltomen.org/about/ Amy also mentions our Fresh Take with Judith Warner in this episode: https://www.whatfreshhellpodcast.com/fresh-take-judith-warner-on-what-grownups-get-wrong-about-middle-school/ We love the sponsors that make this show possible! You can

The human tendency to solve problems by adding something is called "additive solution bias." However, sometimes a problem is more quickly and effectively solved by taking something away. In this episode we talk about how "additive solution bias" can play out in our parenting strategies, and how we can become more aware of the times when what we actually need to do is take something away. Amy and Margaret discuss: Why our brains are wired to solve problems by adding things How additive solution bias increases along with the size of the problem we're attempting to solve Why removing something, or doing less, isn't automatically easier Sign up for What Fresh Hell Plus on Supporting Cast to get all episodes ad-free, plus monthly bonus episodes. Supporting Cast works right where you already listen! Go to whatfreshhell.supportingcast.fm to subscribe in two taps for just $4.99 a month, or $39.99 a year.  Here are links to some of the resources mentioned in the episode: Diana Kwon for Scientific American: "Our

This month, we're doing a deep dive series into the division of household labor—why it's often unbalanced, and what we can do about it. You can find the playlist with all of the episodes in the series here. Kate Mangino, PhD, is a gender expert and professional facilitator who has been working internationally for nearly 20 years. She is the author of the new book Equal Partners: Improving Gender Equity at Home, an informed guide about how readers can rewrite harmful gender norms and create greater household equity. Here's where you can find Kate: https://www.katemangino.com @ManginoKate on X Buy EQUAL PARTNERS: https://bookshop.org/a/12099/9781250276117 We love the sponsors that make this show possible! You can always find all the special deals and codes for all our current sponsors on our website: https://www.whatfreshhellpodcast.com/p/promo-codes/ mom friends, funny moms, parenting advice, parenting experts, parenting tips, mothers, families, parenting skills, parenting strategies, parenting styles, b

Cognitive biases are self-deceptive thought patterns we all use to make sense of the world. In a world that makes less and less sense, Amanda Montell argues, humans have become more irrational than ever. In her new book THE AGE OF MAGICAL OVERTHINKING, Montell explains how our brains' coping mechanisms have become overloaded—and how to slow down our panic responses when the world becomes too overwhelming. Amanda, Amy, and Margaret discuss: How magical overthinking has manifested from the modern age of mass information overload and an epidemic of loneliness The types of cognitive biases that comprise magical overthinking, such as the sunk cost fallacy, the halo effect, and proportionality bias Strategies to combat the negative effects of magical overthinking Here's where you can find Amanda: https://amandamontell.com/ @amanda_montell on IG Buy THE AGE OF MAGICAL OVERTHINKING: https://bookshop.org/a/12099/9781668007976 Listen to the "Sounds Like a Cult" podcast We love the sponsors that make this s

We all know what extreme "oversharenting" is when we see it. It's the gray areas that get harder. When we post about our kid's adventures in potty training, are we supposed to think twice? What will happen when our kids are old enough to want to curate their own internet presence? How concerned should we be about the privacy we may have given away without thinking? Amy and Margaret discuss: the digital footprint and the "right to be forgotten" what to check in your privacy settings when to start asking kids for permission before you post the benefits we gain from sharing about our families online Here are links to some of the resources mentioned in the episode: Zoya Garg, Elmer Gomez and Luciana Yael Petrzela for the NY Times: "If You Didn't 'Sharent,' Did You Even Parent?" Sean Coughlan for the BBC: "'Sharenting' puts young at risk of online fraud" Fortesa Latifi for Cosmopolitan: "What’s the Price of a Childhood Turned Into Content?" Fortesa Latifi for Cosmopolitan: "'We’re Never Doing This

This month, we're doing a deep dive series into the division of household labor—why it's often unbalanced, and what we can do about it. You can find the playlist with all of the episodes in the series here. Want to see a mother get mad? Tell her she's "nagging" you after she's been obligated to repeat an entirely reasonable request several times over. And just why is "nagging" a word that's almost exclusively applied to women? We need the other members of our households to show up and do their share. As the default parents, we own the lists. So do we stop caring whether others like how we ask and remind? Do we enforce a back-to-one where we're not forced to ask repeatedly in the first place? In this episode Amy and Margaret discuss: The sexism and etymology of the word "nag" What Amy says are the three types of "nagging," and why we should separate them out What to say when our repeated asking is framed as annoying to other people (guess to whom it's also annoying, too?) Here are links to some of the re

Is it even possible to declutter your home for more than one minute at a time when you've got kids? Diane Boden, host of the Minimalist Moms podcast, offers parenting tips for cutting down on possessions in a manageable way. Diane Boden is the host of the Minimalist Moms Podcast and author of Minimalist Moms: Living and Parenting with Simplicity. She lives in Ohio with her husband and three kids. Diane, Margaret, and Amy discuss: What minimalism can mean for different people Simple steps for starting the decluttering process—and some more radical strategies too How to reconcile different set points for clutter between parenting partners How to deal with family members who love giving gifts Here's where you can find Diane: minimalistmomspodcast.com @minimalistmomspodcast on all socials Buy MINIMALIST MOMS: https://bookshop.org/a/12099/9781642505092 Listen to the Minimalist Moms podcast We love the sponsors that make this show possible! You can always find all the special deals and codes for all o

How do we help our kids succeed in school without becoming the dreaded "snowplow" parents? Here are some parenting tips for advocating for your child at school when necessary, while also empowering our kids to navigate their own learning. Amy and Margaret discuss: How school environments have changed in the last few decades Best practices for helping kids of different ages manage homework How to start a productive conversation with your child's educators about concerns you may have Here are links to some of the resources mentioned in the episode:  Jenny Anderson for TIME Magazine: "Many American Parents Have No Idea How Their Kids Are Doing in School" Carrie Bauer, et. al, for Slate: Help Me Help My Kid Libby Stanford for Education Week: "Does Parent Involvement Really Help Students? Here’s What the Research Says" U.S. Department of Education: "Raise the Bar: Resources for Parents and Families" Cara Goodwin for KQED's Mind/Shift: "How important is homework, and how much should parents help?"