Grunt Free Press Podcast

Do you want... Total War? Yes you want... Total War? I hope so, because that's more or less all I've got this week. Shitty song, by the way. Topics - Total War talk, summer games aka everything, conflation of strategy, watchin' mods, Epic Battle Simulator, Total War: Warhammer, pay for gore, user face, Grand Campaign, mouse over garbage, The Empire, fake fantasy flags, stances, hard counters, Beastmen, Vampire endgame, the long siege, paid assassins, Quake. Music - Dropkick Murphys - Pipebomb on Landsdowne, Aeon - Still They Pray, Sera Percha - Ti Amo

Vampires versus Werewolves versus the American Revolution. It's kind of like Twilight. Topics - Unanswered trivia, Telltale Games games, The Wolf Among Us Season 2, fake game news, Leatherface: not retarded?, Empire: Total War, blocking my ports, the useless French, shit ships, square formation, rage boners, Vampire: The Masquerade: Bloodlines, patches and SweetFX, empty environments, RPG rulesets, fetch quests, garbage combat. Music - Suicidal Tendencies - Subliminal, Okilly Dokilly - White Wine Spritzer, Canned Heat - Let's Work Together

Send me some jaja, you scummy Votan sack of stucco. Topics - Steam Summer Sale pickups, backlog conundrums, Defiance, post-peak WoW, game/show, shitty servers, loot grinds, head shits, balanced chaos, MMO-ness, explodey grenades, like Destiny but fun, blacklisted from betas?, level scaling, arkfalls, Shadow War, Dark Forces, pixel vomit, Empire: Total War, failed tutorial, Creative Assembly: The Strategy Game Guys, scaling, trade and taxes. Music - Night of the Living Dead - At the Gravesite, Olivier Deriviere - Tracking the Truth, Alex Jones - Indie Folk Song

"F"... "U"... In the coffee... Topics - pissing al fresco, Deadly Premonition, launch memories, pure comedy, dark weird, the worst map in the history of video games, NPC routines, hack reviews, real cult following, Swery is a non-shitty Kojima, gun tool, Otherworld, peeping York, womb trees, Pinball FX 2 ADD, Ikaruga, Castlevania Netflix series, Warren Ellis gives a shit. Music - Dead Kennedys - Riot, Seryoga - King Ring, Nine Inch Nails - Down In It

Grunt Free Press celebrates Independence Day by being held hostage in a room and whispering into a mic, avoiding family drama. Just the way the founding fathers intended. Topics - story time, PC gaming mishaps, the game of getting games to work, Friday the 13th: The Game: The Memory Leak, Syberia 2, cut off dialogue, super secret menus, referencing my own work, Bandicam, Deadly Premonition, kinda soda, years of patches, warm filters, compatibility modes, virtual memory, R.I.P. Xbox Elite controller, Pinball FX for the kids. Music - Dicknado trailer, Messer Chups - Magneto, Frank Zappa - Valley Girl

We focus on two story heavy games after some shameless self promotion, as well as a couple E3 announcements that went under the radar. Includes some soulful renditions of slave songs. Topics: Fake Atari interview becomes relevant, leftover E3 tidbits, slave songs, Metro 2033 Redux, bullet money, simulated fiddling, Get Even, story games, whiteboard mysteries, corner guns, bass hums and mouth sounds, Black Mirror vibe. Music - GWAR - West End Girls, Nordfront - Hu Ha Antifa, Wheeler Walker, Jr. - Puss in Boots

The obligatory E3 2017 Spectacular! We get there eventually. Full coverage you'll find everywhere else. Topics - Episode 100: Behind the Scenes, Friday the 13th: The Game: The DLC, Pamela tapes, proximity chat, new mic, technologically retarded, E3 2017, EA Play, Microsoft, Metro: Exodus... holy shit, Bethesda, Ubisoft, "diversity", Sony, Nintendo, no, really... a new Metro game is coming out. Music - Pink Floyd - Pigs (Three Different Ones)

It's a clip show!

Tired of Friday the 13th: The Game yet? Uh oh... Topics - Friday the 13th: The Game: The Launch, tiny credits, phlegm, killin' Jason, you suck at looking, Japanese Jason, points and perks, bugs, The Surge, Alien: Covenant, too many couples, Vanquish, meh week, Rising Storm 2: Vietnam, jerky hand movements, Tekken 7, more nonsensical anime garbage, gas station fight. Music - Excrementory Grindfuckers - 99 Grindcore Songs, Rancid - 1998, Dee Snider - We're Not Gonna Take It

Live report from Fun Spot: The World's Biggest Arcade in Laconia, NH. Topics - On the road again, car wash, Fun Spot, guns and churches, bingo hall, toilet cast, cheap classics, broken games, Marble Madness, Zombie Raid, Galaga, pinball, dim lights, blurry monitors, cup o' tokens, '90s games, Mortal Kombat, Walking Dead is Doom 3, shit that moves, Chiller, cuisine report. Music - C.W. McCall - Convoy, Jim Carrey - Dying Fetus, Excrementory Grindfuckers - 99 Grindcore Songs

Full volume, full vacation mode. Topics - future plans, Destiny 2, mining minerals, The Surge, wheelchair heroes, sever limbs, timed Souls, jumpin' and duckin', Advanced Dark Souls: Third Edition, robot trash, Injustice 2, DC characters are lame, fighting game stories suck, costumes, meters, equipment, Multiverse. Music - Mastodon - Shadows that Move, Stumfol - Prisoner, The Doors - Waiting for the Sun

Have you ever listened to Achilles Last Stand and related it to Dark Souls? You're about to... Topics - Family prison, Hitbox takes a bright turn, smashcast.tv, permanent logo, streaming stalkers, Video Game Land, tiny house, pocket change budget, Deadly Premonition: The Board Game, Forza Horizon 3: Hot Wheels Expansion, crashes, orange track, Prey, wandering, killing people, space justice, ending choices, Contra Music - Led Zeppelin - Achilles Last Stand

In an unusually whiny episode, AbsoluteDeicide rants about people he doesn't like and foot problems. Maybe it's not that unusual. Topics - Let's talk about video games, that guy, Bubble Ghost, limited copies, sales warriors, falling apart, feet, Darksiders 3, horselady, Syberia, hot steamy love triangles, mechanical piano bar, emotional orgasm, StarCraft, RTS genre, paper marines, Prey... 2?, goo spiders, painful choices, pick up the junk. Music - The Melvins - Graveyard, StarCraft - Terran, Six Feet Under - Stepping Stone

Video game news and boos of the week. Train keeps a rollin' towards Syberia with an unexpected piss stop, and things get cultish in the woods or a swamp or a desert. Topics - Night Trap Anniversary, anti-Kickstarter, timestamps, ProTraps, Forza Horizon 3: Hot Wheels, Zelda's Horde Mode, Outlast 2, warring cults, batteries, jerky, cartoon cacti, chase sequences, slit of a window, veiny walls, fucked up shit, Syberia, adventure game stuff, destroyed beauty, drunken Cosmonaut, fuckin' robots, Jaymer tips. Music - Waylon Jennings - Are You Sure Hank Done It This Way, Spice 1 - Born II Die, Syberia - Komkolzgrad, Night Trap - Theme

In the not too distant future... actually the not too distant past in European cities. Some Japanese garbage goes down and there's robot toys or something. (shrug) Topics - Life hacks, MST3K Reboot, Hodgeson stink, Carrot Top?, rapid riffing, Bayonetta sucks, Witch Time, hot garbage problems, dumb puzzles, anime gay, hair power, gay gay, unavoidable damage, always doing something stupid, Friday the 13th: The Game: The Release Date, random Adventure Island, Syberia, clicking around, proof of cultural regression, brain damage, pulling levers and pushing buttons. Music - Flogging Molly - The Power's Out, Tom Servo - Creepy Girl, Horse the Band - Shapeshift

Laying some old business to bed, AbsoluteDeicide warms up to an old classic. Then he gives a not-so-classic "classic" a second shot with mixed results. Topics - Future plans, putting Nightcry to bed, flowcharts, Berserk all over the place, goo blobs, skeleton horse, little witch girl, Endless Mode, ROMs Unlimited, '90s websites, Ninja Gaiden, pixel perfect backflips, random hawk, backward progress, 4K Bayonetta, douche bumps, nightmare settings, no HUD, cheesy ass game, desensitized to gayness, character action, arena spurts. Music - The Mamas and the Pepes - Doctor My Eyes, Ninja Gaiden - Evading the Enemy, Dying Fetus - Kill Your Mother, Rape Your Dog.

The crack smoke of the bat, the pine cigarette tar, the roar of the crowd as they try to jump out of the way of another Muslim truck attack... Must be baseball season. Topics - games I'm not playing, Persona non grata, androgynous high school kids, streaming restrictions, you're not special, MLB The Show '17, exciting baseball history, nightmare installs, pulse pitching, "ready to play", stats versus control, Billy Badass, Berserk, Xbox Scorpio specs/pricing predictions, "premium", selective tech experts, Nightcry snags, Bad Ass Babes 2? Music - GWAR - War Party, First Aid Kit - Sailor Song, The Simpsons - Talking Softball

Quite possibly the least relevant episode yet. I'm very proud. Topics - 2Dark sucks, crashing and glitches, punching old men, whoops! killed my kids, The Secret World remake/reboot/whatever, Berserk: Retarded Dynasty Warriors, censored nips, Nightcry, jazz loops, Bad Ass Babes, digitized strippers, giant penises, MS paint cum, vagina portals, empowered women smashing the patriarchy. Music - Sgt. Kabukiman N.Y.P.D. Trailer, Bad Brains - Send You No Flowers, Nightcry Jazz

Even the king of Hyrule has a hard time getting some granny action, and he has to deal with dead kids. Also, I'm not sure if that's what actually happens. Topics - Zelda forever, Easter eggs?, taking credit, Adventure, cheat codes, OP turning point, cheating memories, the final confrontation, ass kippin', 2Dark, a dead kid extravaganza, "stealth" games, cheese it, midget cartoons, Star Wars: Rogue One, 'Nam Wars, Mass Effect? Music - Immortal Technique - Freedom of Speech, Chris Ray Gun - Punch a Nazi, Six Feet Under - Human Target

Deeper and deeper into Hyrule... things get either really interesting or incredibly boring depending on how much you care about Breath of the Wild. Topics - A lot of Zelda once again, the case against Achievements, stat-y shit, the horses..., motion control puzzles, ice block bullshit, dying, Fairy Fountains, sand seals, breaking my brain, spoilers, granny porn, just A Touch of Satan, Water Temple, 900 seeds, memories, game gossip, Colin Moriarty on The Rubin Report; still a fag. Music - The Rolling Stones - Mother's Little Helper, The Legend of Zelda: Ocarina of Time - Lost Woods, Scars on Broadway - They Say