Shut Up A Second

In which our heroes run their greasy hands through special guest Matt Harvey’s luscious red locks, break out the scissors, hair dye and the trimmer before giving up and heading down to the salon to talk about all things hair. We shape Hitler’s army into the fashionable chaps they were destined to be, ensure cancer patients never get given wigs, wonder which place is the worst to grow hair and try to give our homes a haircut. Jackson wants wigs to make a comeback, Zoe finds hair in the strangest place of all and Matt just wants you to know why gingers are basically superheroes. So join the gang as they slick back their hair, apply gel, give up and just use a hat to hide their mistake. To find out more about Matt Harvey go to mattharveystuff.com and check out his new podcast Just For Funny available on iTunes or wherever you get podcasts. Want to help make the bush a thing again? Head to http://www.patreon.com/sanspantsradio and for as little as $1 a month, you can help make a comeback for the eyelash of the

In which our heroes dress up in costumes, get permission from their parents to go out trick or treating and eat stale chocolate as they talk about ghouls for the Shut Up It's Halloween Special. We waste wishes on chips and dip, give wet Dobby a lift and worry about Johnson B. Ghoul's existential well being. Jackson asks which 1970's genie show is better, Duscher wants to donate his body to ghouls instead of science and Zoe just wants to learn how to eat yogurt without chewing. So lock your doors and join the gang as they work out just what the hell a ghoul is. The answer may surprise you but one thing’s for sure, you will be disappointed. Want Duscher to speak in his ghoul voice forever? Head to http://www.patreon.com/sanspantsradio and for as little as $1 a month you can help us get a shaman to curse him. And don’t forget to get your free audible book download and a 30 day free trial at http://www.audibletrial.com/SanspantsRadio there’s probably at least thirteen books about the true definition of a ghoul.

In which our heroes fill her up with premium 98, put the pedal to the metal, and instantly get a parking fine as we discuss automobiles. We make wheels out of fruit, learn about the greatest inventor who ever lived and discover just how jelly really works. Jackson sets unexplainable alarms, Zoe has never had banana chips and Duscher just wants to use coal to power a car. So join the gang as they dramatically drive off a cliff. Let's burn rubber! But in a safe way, where we don't inhale toxic fumes and in fact are full of vitamins and stuff. Want to help find out who would win in a Sanspants edition of Wacky Races? Head to http://www.patreon.com/sanspantsradio and for as little as $1 a month, you can help make a difference in Muttley’s antics. And don’t forget to get your free audible book download and a 30 day free trial at http://www.audibletrial.com/SanspantsRadio there’s probably at least seventy-two books about the better mileage on electric cars. Want to come see just how handsome we really are? Well

In which our heroes listen out for the conductors whistle, check the nearest timetable, and make sure they have their boarding pass ready as they discuss trains. We deliver instruments in the worst way possible, learn a little about whale dicks, and cast our doubts on the real scariness of trains. Jackson is not convinced by the benefits of locomotives, Duscher has a train inception thing going on and Zoe just wants to talk about horses. So join the gang as they chug along to their destination. It might not be the quickest way, but by golly they'll get there. Want to help get those trains on schedule? Head to http://www.patreon.com/sanspantsradioand for as little as $1 a month, you can help make a difference in train efficiency. Not really.   And don’t forget to get your free audible book download and a 30 day free trial at http://www.audibletrial.com/SanspantsRadio there’s probably at least fifty-five books about how to get to the North Pole on only a train.  See acast.com/privacy for privacy and

In which our heroes get on stage, improvise the starting song and giggle with the crowd while we discuss Australia LIVE! We give animals peanut butter, get the Skippy Bush Kangaroo cast drunk and work out where Lassie is from. Jackson has a backup hypothetical, Zoe slaps a saddle on a crocodile, Tessa tries to take over and Duscher is just worried about Zoe’s loved ones. So join the gang as they continue to talk about the land down under in front of a live studio audience. It’s a bloody good time. Want to listen to us talk in front of a live studio audience more? Head to http://www.patreon.com/sanspantsradio and for as little as $1 a month, you can help make a difference in future Sanspants Live Shows. And don’t forget to get your free audible book download and a 30 day free trial at http://www.audibletrial.com/SanspantsRadio there’s probably at least fourteen books about Australian animals.  See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

In which our heroes put their tray tables up, their seats in an upright position, and stow their luggage beneath their seats as they discuss planes. We try to work out if we can replace our genitals with aircraft, do bad German accents, and discover the history of Fanta. Jackson make children’s playgrounds more dangerous, Zoe takes naps in all the movies she mentions and Duscher just wants to talk SkyDancers. So join the gang as they taxi down the runway and take off. We'll be arriving in about forty minutes, so please enjoy the flight and remember to put all your electronic devices in airplane mode. Want to help the plane entertainment systems? Head to http://www.patreon.com/sanspantsradio and for as little as $1 a month, you can help make a difference in getting everyone to watch the same movie again!  And don’t forget to get your free audible book download and a 30 day free trial at http://www.audibletrial.com/SanspantsRadio there’s probably at least thirty-one books about sexy pilot fantasies. &nbs

In which our heroes get illuminated, have some great ideas, dance around the street lamps and discuss light bulbs. We discuss the appropriate sound effects for a good or bad idea, which orifice would be the best light source and spend a lot of time talking about Emily Eyefinger. Jackson is mad at Ant-Man for not taking advantage of his situation, special guest Sophie Kneebone goes for broke when describing her childhood terrors and Zammit just wants to channel E.T. at parties. So join the gang as they shed some light on things, accidentally drop things down the sink and have flashes of inspiration. It’ll leave you blinded or at the very least, seeing spots in your line of sight. Want to help Sophie get the chopstick out of her sink? Head to http://www.patreon.com/sanspantsradio and for as little as $1 a month, you can help make a difference in unclogging household plumbing. And don’t forget to get your free audible book download and a 30 day free trial at http://www.audibletrial.com/SanspantsRadio there’s

In which our heroes sway with the wind, get infested with beetles and are turned into wood pulp as they discuss trees. We wonder what a bonsai tastes like, discover why vegetarians won’t eat figs and learn about a tree that has a vendetta against the human race. Jackson forgets sasquatches aren’t a real thing, Zoe reminds us once again how stupid pandas are, and Zammit just wants to know why Marky Mark hates the Vietnamese. So join the gang as they rehash The Happening, eat a fruit they really shouldn’t, get covered in blisters and even though it’s very painful, it’s slightly sweet. Want to help fund our morbidly obese sasquatch documentary? Head to http://www.patreon.com/sanspantsradio and for as little as $1 a month, you can help make a difference in bringing awareness to their crippling tree-eating addiction. And don’t forget to get your free audible book download and a 30 day free trial at http://www.audibletrial.com/SanspantsRadio there’s probably at least sixteen books about what to do when triffids

In which our heroes purr like a cat, hiss like a cat, and meow like a cat as they discuss all things cats! We feel uncomfortable about cat tongues, navigate by the sun and try to work out the story of Puss in Boots. Jackson comes up with great animal names, Duscher is on the squid train and Zoe just can’t bear to live in a world without cats. So join the gang as they cough up a hairball and rub their face on your things. It makes you feel the same emotions that you feel when a cat cuddles up to you and then digs its claws in. Want to help Zoe start a new Cat Appreciation Society? Head to http://www.patreon.com/sanspantsradio and for as little as $1 a month, you can help make a difference in getting matching jackets. And don’t forget to get your free audible book download and a 30 day free trial at http://www.audibletrial.com/SanspantsRadio there’s probably at least three books about catnip.  See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

In which our heroes look into a crystal ball and just see a screaming crab-man, select the kicked-in-the-head-by-a-mule tarot card from the deck and have their palms read by a shady gypsy in a caravan as they discuss fate. We put Jesus on the moon, make public services announcements and find ghosts in unlikely places. Jackson teaches us who is the real monster, Tessa becomes a truck racer against her will and Duscher just wants to live his lifelong dream of starting a cult. So join the gang as they try to show that there is no fate except the one we create, kinda. It's your destiny. Want to help change our fate? Head to http://www.patreon.com/sanspantsradio and for as little as $1 a month, you can help make a difference in getting more accurate magic 8-balls. And don’t forget to get your free audible book download and a 30 day free trial at http://www.audibletrial.com/SanspantsRadio there’s probably at least sixteen books about defying pre-destination.  See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-o

In which our heroes get out their markers, poster paper, and make a five year plan to discuss the future. We struggle to spell types of lettuce, throw a house where a horse’s head should be and wake up in the future-past-future. Jackson injects music into himself, Tessa creates a convoluted scenario to be with sharks and Duscher just wants to forever live in space. So join the gang as they travel into the future and give us an insight to what’s ahead. It is bleak. Futuristic sure. But bleak. Want to help science? Head to http://www.patreon.com/sanspantsradio and for as little as $1 a month, you can help make a difference in ensuring the people we unfreeze in the future don’t freak out too much. And don’t forget to get your free audible book download and a 30 day free trial at http://www.audibletrial.com/SanspantsRadio there’s probably at least eleven books about hover boards.  See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

In which our heroes get distracted by shiny objects, become the animalistic embodiment of ferrying souls of the dead and apply for the job of being Odin’s eyes as they discuss crows. We discuss the origin of Sing a Song of Sixpence, get spooked about the terrifying memory of crows and poorly remember the plot of 1994 classic, The Crow. Jackson loves a fat pigeon, Alli reveals her true size and Emz just wants to illuminate the true terror inherent in each and every crow. So scan the highways for roadkill, grab your two best buddies to form a murder and remember every motherfucker who ever did you wrong. Caw. Want to help crows stop being used for murder? Head to http://www.patreon.com/sanspantsradio and for as little as $1 a month, you can help make a difference in keeping crows out of jail. And don’t forget to get your free audible book download and a 30 day free trial at http://www.audibletrial.com/SanspantsRadio there’s probably at least thirty-eight books about surviving surprise crows.  See a

In which our heroes buy gifts Dad clearly doesn’t want, make him veggies for breakfast with an egg and help him with the garden in preparation for the Baly Family Circus Part 2: Father’s Day Special! We get scared of cows and other farmyard animals, try to find out where we can’t get a recreational wheelchair and smell cardboard. Jackson is unhappy with his arms, John tells us about his fridge when he was growing up and Ryder just doesn’t want to watch Freaks and Geeks. So join the gang as they celebrate all things Baly. It’s family bonding at it’s best. Want to help in robot arm technology? Head to http://www.patreon.com/sanspantsradio and for as little as $1 a month, you can help make a difference in getting longer arms. And don’t forget to get your free audible book download and a 30 day free trial at http://www.audibletrial.com/SanspantsRadio there’s probably at least sixteen books about the best tie for dad.  See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

In which our heroes celebrate 100 episodes by going back to their humble beginnings, include Duscher in on their original discussion and drink to 100 more as they discuss puberty… again. We commemorate the fact that nothing’s changed, talk about the horrors of second puberty and compare stretch marks. Jackson wears glasses, Duscher ages like a wet handbag and Zoe hasn’t changed 50 episodes on and wants more dicks than ever before. So join the gang as they look back on how far they’ve come, look to the present at their rapidly failing bodes and look to the future wondering when they’ll inevitably talk about puberty for a third and maybe even fourth time. Want to help teach children about the upcoming changes in their lives? Head to http://www.patreon.com/sanspantsradio and for as little as $1 a month, you can help make a difference in cartoon depictions of naked bodies. And don’t forget to get your free audible book download and a 30 day free trial at http://www.audibletrial.com/SanspantsRadio there’s prob

In which our heroes build houses using Edison’s famous mould, crumble under pressure and conclude the fan favourite Meat rhyming trilogy with Meat Part III: ‘Crete… as in Concrete. It’s a heavy journey as the gang attempt to seal everything with concrete, plug up their orifices to enable space travel and most importantly discuss the bear code. Jackson shows off his newest sculpture ‘Inside a Cow’, Tessa dreams of a world where nothing floats and Duscher just wants everyone to know how Clay Pigeons work. So join the gang as they weigh up the pros and cons of filling everything in the world with concrete and inevitably put Tessa in jail with ghost cows. It’s a solid, solid time because everything is hard and grey in this fresh hell. Want to help fund a gallery to show off Jackson’s new works? Head to http://www.patreon.com/sanspantsradio and for as little as $1 a month, you can help make a difference in the art world. And don’t forget to get your free audible book download and a 30 day free trial at http://ww

In which our heroes kick off their shoes, throw away their socks and just let it all hang out while discussing Meat Part II: Feet. This week we try to replace feet with animals, judge society’s wealth by the intensity of their forehead bruises and ultimately figure out what's faster; horses or cows? Tessa once again dies against her will, Duscher explores the realities of having one leg slower than the other and Jackson is just being phased out against his will. So join the gang as they ponder Dwayne 'The Rock' Johnson's muscles in comparison to grapefruit, send twelve ladies to the Australian outback to ruin their lives and ultimately try to determine the key difference between hands and feet. Want to help fund a horse and cow race? Head to http://www.patreon.com/sanspantsradio and for as little as $1 a month, you can help make a difference in us all finally knowing the answer to the age old question. And don’t forget to get your free audible book download and a 30 day free trial at http://www.audibletrial

In which our heroes grab their swords and boards, don full plate amour and eat an orange as they discuss dragons. We wonder what a Chinese Dragon would taste like, obtain our own hoards from small town folk and Bed, Bath and Beyond, try to work out the difference between a dragon and a wyrm and integrate Muppets as much as possible. Jackson gets angry about intelligent dragons, Zammit gets angry at the lack of idiot dragons and Alli just gets angry. So join the gang as they do almost anything under the sun with dragons bar slay them. It’s a magical adventure to the land of make believe where dragons roam the earth and Matthew McConaughey will save us all. Want to help employment opportunities for dragons? Head to http://www.patreon.com/sanspantsradio and for as little as $1 a month, you can help make a difference in integrating dragons into your office. And don’t forget to get your free audible book download and a 30 day free trial at http://www.audibletrial.com/SanspantsRadio there’s probably at least nin

In which our heroes find places to hide, brace for impact and ride it out as they discuss earthquakes. We discuss the benefits of government mandated free wizards in disaster relief, wonder why Poseidon has horses in his repertoire of things under his domain and see which movie would be enhanced with a surprise earthquake. Jackson doesn’t think he would survive an earthquake in any situation, Zoe prefers to focus on the moon because earthquakes are too sad and Alli just wants to follow squirrels to safety. So join the gang as they make earth shaking revelations, not just about earthquakes, but about themselves. Although it’s pretty low on the richter scale. Want to help world governments improve their relief packages? Head to http://www.patreon.com/sanspantsradio and for as little as $1 a month, you can help make a difference in companion lizards getting the recognition they deserve. And don’t forget to get your free audible book download and a 30 day free trial at http://www.audibletrial.com/SanspantsRad

In which our heroes boil the kettle, brew, infuse and sip on a good ol’ cuppa joe and discuss hot beverages. We question why pineapple doughnuts even came to be, how incompetent the emperors of history are, and how sassy coffee really is. Jackson can’t tell the difference between teas, Duscher gets amped up by people spilling hot coffee on their dicks and Alli just cannot deal with getting betrayed by her hot beverage of choice. So join the gang as they turn hot water into something barely stomachable. It’s perfect with a book on a rainy day, curled up in front of a fireplace until you get up and knock everything over. Now you’re just damp and mildly scolded. Want to help Duscher’s crusade against movie dick burning comedy? Head to http://www.patreon.com/sanspantsradio and for as little as $1 a month, you can help make a difference in saving all those burnt wangs. And don’t forget to get your free audible book download and a 30 day free trial at http://www.audibletrial.com/SanspantsRadio there’s probably a

In which our heroes forget to pack sunscreen, drink too much sea water, misspell HELP with pieces of driftwood and discuss desert islands. We try to figure out the best celebrity to hate-share an island with, create a list of island rules and spend a decent chunk of time trying to avoid being killed by the dangerous island tiger. Jackson mourns the fact that his hair is not island strong, Tessa envisions herself as sexy mermaid covered in mud and Marley just wants her Stephen Hawking based guilt to go away. So join the gang as they try not to lose their minds and start talking to a volleyball with a bloodied handprint for a face. It’s a rollicking good time until we run out of food and ponder cannibalism. Want to help us mount a rescue mission? Head to http://www.patreon.com/sanspantsradio and for as little as $1 a month, you can help us forcibly remove the gang away from their island home. And don’t forget to get your free audible book download and a 30 day free trial at http://www.audibletrial.com/Sanspan