Up Yours, Downstairs!

Kelly, Amy & all your favorite royals are back with recaps of S2 of Peter Morgan's The Crown! They compare Hollywood royals versus the real thing, break it to Mike's daughter that he loves her less than hookers, reveal something surprising about Horatio Hornblower, beg Liz not to read Phil's emails, discuss the logistics of getting rid of a ghost ballerina, enjoy a Mountbatten-style performance of Who's Afraid of Virginia Woolf?, and identify the 3 people who can read Liz's guernal. Kelly lays down the rules for birthday party gifting, Amy remembers the horse party, and everyone agrees that Kelly & Amy invented the mustache bit.  See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

By order of their Patreon supporters, Kelly & Amy switch up the format with "Tell the Midwife:" Kelly sobs her way through Call the Midwife and then tells Amy what happened. In this episode, they cover Season 5's first two-part Christmas special and Episode 1. Get ready to party with Nurse Cranky, Nurse Boring, and Sister Nobody, reset the counter for fatal accidents at the custard factory, clothe babies in costers, pit capitalism against vows of poverty, and root for the return of Chummy! See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

Kelly finally makes good on her promise to dissect The Royal We by The Fug Girls, Jessica Morgan and Heather Cocks, a book that has everything--words, foreshadowing & romance, even! This is a whole chilled out thing, and you can listen to this one for freesies as Kelly Googles where Megan Markle is from in real time! Get over to Patreon to hear the rest, people! https://www.patreon.com/upyoursdownstairs See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

Kelly & Amy finally make good on their promise of a Regency-era standalone episode to pair with their 1995 Pride & Prejudice recaps (available on Patreon)! In their usual hastily researched fashion, they discuss rickety Game of Thrones magic, the history of Latin American independence, bathroom stuff, Britain's stylish but otherwise reprehensible George IV, bundling, body lice, the invention of podcasts, the correct pronunciation of Fitzherbert, and more capes than is strictly necessary. Kelly finally learns why it's called the Regency period, Amy imitates Karina Longworth, and everyone has stars and garters! See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

Kelly & Amy are back with irritated sniping and an unexpected recap of the very upsetting 2001 HBO movie Conspiracy. Get ready for Rogue One spoilers, Millenial blindness, a new UYDS motto, Bugs Bunny's directorial debut, laws like ice cream, two anti-Semitic Martin Luthers, Instagram Farben, Peak Colin Firth, the importance of choosing a non-evil job, and the return of the Whore Institute! All this, plus Kelly hates Napoleonic twaddle, Amy won't read the spreadsheet, and everybody wonders if this movie should have even been made. See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

Kelly & Amy risk heat stroke to bring you this recap of Wolf Hall S1E6, Master of Phantoms. They get wistful for the Whore Institute, complain about Game of Thrones, feel grateful that lawful divorce no longer needs to require murder, criticize Anne's beheading getup, whine about the lack of cutlery, assert that not every problem can be solved by swearing on the Bible, and advocate for their burial in the Westminster Abbey Podcaster's Corner. Kelly doesn't like the word fingering, Amy still wants to know what happened to Sokka, and no one should get their hopes up, UYDS-wise. See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

Kelly & Amy implore you to never shake a wolf in their recap of Wolf Hall S1E5, Crows. They also remind everyone that the rift is in Cardiff, Gardiner is still ugly, girls' crossbows have ribbons on them, Jane Seymour is a super genius, and it's always time for modesty. Kelly wishes they were playing Duck Hunt, Amy takes remedial smelling classes, and the entire podcast is sponsored by num-nums! See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

Kelly & Amy quote a lot of other tv shows in their recap of Wolf Hall, S1E4. They also coin a term to describe a group of Boleyns, tell everyone to stop doing cocaine, appreciate punctuation humor, wonder if dick tapestries were a thing, talk smack about Bran on Game of Thrones, and declare this possibly the best episode of Wolf Hall (although there are still two more to go). Kelly talks about a weird dream she had, Amy hates asparagus, and everyone loves a good Family Matters reference.  See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

Condragulations are in order as Kelly & Amy recap Wolf Hall S1E3! Strap on your trigger warnings as they cast "My Fair Lady 2: The Sexting," popesplain, introduce the Bible-52s, talk smack about Henry and Anne's wedding, and laugh at Thomas More. Kelly's been an asshole since birth, Amy is wearing cute sandals, and no one understands what Jane Seymour's deal is. See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

Kelly & Tom celebrate the Willennium in their recap of Wolf Hall, S1E2. They ID the Sam and Diane of Austin Friars, ask some witch friends about stuff, submit a show to the fringe festival, talk about Pride weekend two weeks late, figure out how you get myxamatosis, and head to the patent office. Kelly tells a cool story, Tom reminisces about Air Jordans, and everyone agrees kinging is heck of a gig.  See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

Kelly & Tom return from Patreon to bring you coverage of the first episode of Wolf Hall! They struggle to remember lines from Labyrinth, the name of England, the plot of Barry Lyndon, and the Merlin of America. Kelly chooses Rafe, Tom wins a Booker Prize, and everybody hopes you forget that we were supposed to be covering Call The Midwife instead. See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

Kelly & Tom finally take the plunge into their long-awaited Patreon sponsored coverage of Pride & Prejudice! They agree that Jane looks like a giraffe, speculate about Caroline Bingley's fake geek girl activity, declare Mr. Collins a social disease, criticize CBS, and learn some very weird stuff about rat urine. Kelly's going back to therapy, Tom is like Mr. Darcy, and everyone explains the premium-cable hierarchy of social events in Regency England. See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

Special preview! Fake news, oppressive patriarchy, and an overall impending sense of doom: Join “Aunt” Kelly Anneken and Molly “Ofmitchell” Sanchez as we discuss this and more in Red All Over, a podcast based on The Handmaid’s Tale and weirdly not on current events. See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

Kelly and Tom belatedly return with the promised Mailbag Fun Dust-Up! Thanks to all the cousins who sent in telegrams, this (literally) wouldn’t be possible without you! See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

Kelly & Tom are on their own for their recap of The Crown S1E10, having been stood up by not one but two separate gingers. They discuss their forthcoming Mailbag Fun Dustup, the newest Patreon goal, the Cave of Wonders tiger with the pierced ear in Aladdin, the cure for Ryan Murphy, TLM’s need to constantly butt in, their preference for Martin Charteris over Michael Adeane, diabolical sex beasts, and whether or not Tom looks like Porchey. Kelly says old people shouldn’t vote, Tom is the dictator of Schneiderstan, and everyone would love to have Verne Troyer on the podcast. See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

Kelly & Tom recap S1E9 of The Crown, which is Kelly’s favorite episode! They encourage people to give up on their dreams, feel bad for Toby Jones, talk about rickety horse ankles and horse therapy, identify the partying-est king ever, create about three different spinoff series, get annoyed by gay Lefou, and have fish and chips because it’s Lent. Kelly is glad Phillip Seymour Hoffman is dead, Tom doesn’t know anything about Godot, and everyone’s research is woefully incompetent. See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

Kelly & Tom are joined by Kelly’s internet love, illustrator & cartoonist Levi Hastings, for their recap of The Crown S1E8. The hosts are really coming around on the show, and they appreciate the character development of the Queen Mum, wish that everyone could impulse buy a castle when they are sad, take the controversial position that patriarchy is no fun, love the comedy stylings of Princess Margaret, get excited about Liz’s gay fashion designer, and suffer from Nazi fatigue. Kelly finally gets around to doing a Fashion Backwards, Tom thinks Justin Trudeau is too good for him, and Levi reminds us that one cannot do self care without a self to care for. See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

Kelly & Tom welcome back guest Allison Mick for their recap of The Crown S1E7. They patronize 1-800-AMERICA, clash in the eternal pugs v. Corgis matchup, say lots of things like they’re from Boston, wish Winston Churchill was dead (on the show), rate Pringles mustaches, try to make raven-poking seem family friendly, compare Heath Ledger to Pootie Tang, and pitch a Liz/Tweedy Hogg spinoff. Kelly still doesn’t have her shit together, Tom says the Chicago Tribune drools, and Allison thinks forest bathing solves everything. See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

Kelly & Tom are back on their own with this recap of The Crown S1E6. They like the episode, but cannot help asking “Why is show?” Scooby-Doo ghostwrites part of UYDS, Princess Margaret has 99 problems, a piece of fluff outweighs Joseph Stalin, the horrifying origins of the Rhodes scholarship is revealed, Wallis Simpson continues to have few lines, white supremacists are alienated, and Prince Philip doesn’t realize he’s beaten the game. Kelly doesn’t get much out of The Anarchist’s Cookbook, Tom explains what stress is, and everyone agrees Season 5 of The Wire isn’t worth watching. See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

Kelly & Tom are joined by The History Chicks co-host Beckett Graham for their recap of The Crown S1E5. They wax frustrated about their feelings on the DO Dubs, replace King Lane Pryce’s face with Colin Firth’s, note Liz’s lifelong taste in cardigans, discuss the relative tackiness of crowns fictional and factual, participate in some pantomimery, bristle at Mountbatten’s period appropriate homophobia,and wonder if Peter Morgan is playing a deeper game. Kelly has difficulty pronouncing everything, Tom devises a nickname for fans of The Royal We, and Beckett is absolutely here for all things royal. NOTE: I did a very poor job of recording Beckett’s audio. I did my best to fix it in post-production, but I apologize, to Beckett in particular, for the low-quality audio, and I would like to make it clear that this was 100% my fault, and nobody else’s. -Tom See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.