Heavy Hands

The ant thing is crazy but I'm still stuck on how perfectly smooth they made Anthony Pettis. No human being is that glossy.  BIG THINGS HAPPENING in the world of sumo! A wild tournament, a three-way playoff, and a new yokozuna! All of that in the latest episode of Heavy Henka: https://www.patreon.com/heavyhands Heavy Hands merch: https://www.redbubble.com/shop/ap/64577943?asc=u 

What with Merab Dvalishvili's internal combustion engine and Islam Makhachev's positronic brain, it looks like curtains for humanity. January has been one hell of a chaotic month for sumo. Miguel Class returns to break down the action in the latest episode of Heavy Henka: https://www.patreon.com/heavyhands Heavy Hands merch: https://www.redbubble.com/shop/ap/64577943?asc=u 

My dead body don't burn it, don't bury it just leave it in the field and with it, fill the belly of some hungry dog Sumo is back for January, and Connor and Miguel Class will be breaking it down in this season of Heavy Henka: https://www.patreon.com/heavyhands Heavy Hands merch: https://www.redbubble.com/shop/ap/64577943?asc=u 

Shit man, I'm not even going to apologize for how late this is. This shit took forever. I'm going to go to sleep now. Sumo is back for January, and Connor and Miguel Class will be breaking it down in this season of Heavy Henka: https://www.patreon.com/heavyhands Heavy Hands merch: https://www.redbubble.com/shop/ap/64577943?asc=u 

Back at last after a long (and not entirely planned) holiday break, this week on Heavy Hands we've got the GOAT himself back to talk about a heavyweight fight that doesn't even suck.  Our boy Hoshoryu looked like yokozuna material this tournament, but fellow ozeki Kotozakura was even better. Sumo talk in the latest episode of Heavy Henka with Miguel Class: https://www.patreon.com/heavyhands Heavy Hands merch: https://www.redbubble.com/shop/ap/64577943?asc=u 

No, you idiot, I said sell Rakhmonov! SELL Rakhmonov! Sell, sell, sell! Our boy Hoshoryu looked like yokozuna material this tournament, but fellow ozeki Kotozakura was even better. Sumo talk in the latest episode of Heavy Henka with Miguel Class: https://www.patreon.com/heavyhands Heavy Hands merch: https://www.redbubble.com/shop/ap/64577943?asc=u 

What if Rudy sacked the quarterback and everyone booed. Our boy Hoshoryu looked like yokozuna material this tournament, but fellow ozeki Kotozakura was even better. Sumo talk in the latest episode of Heavy Henka with Miguel Class: https://www.patreon.com/heavyhands Heavy Hands merch: https://www.redbubble.com/shop/ap/64577943?asc=u 

What if we both get worse in different ways but at exactly the same rate? Could be fun. SUMO TALK. New episode of Heavy Henka with Miguel Class on our Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/heavyhands Heavy Hands merch: https://www.redbubble.com/shop/ap/64577943?asc=u   

Keep things I disagree with out of sports.  Talking more shit about Bo Nickal and glazing Jim Miller on our latest bonus episode: https://www.patreon.com/heavyhands To all those pitying Michael Chandler: NOTICE TO CEASE AND DESIST: https://open.substack.com/pub/facepunching/p/to-all-those-pitying-michael-chandler?r=evbq&utm_campaign=post&utm_medium=web&showWelcomeOnShare=true  Heavy Hands merch: https://www.redbubble.com/shop/ap/64577943?asc=u 

I feel so alone, gonna end up a big old pile of them bones. Heavy Henka returns soon! Join Connor and Miguel Class in appreciating the beauty of fat bodies, and also the sport of sumo: https://www.patreon.com/heavyhands Heavy Hands merch: https://www.redbubble.com/shop/ap/64577943?asc=u   

A solid card in which everyone except Brandon Moreno came out looking slightly worse. Magomed Ankalaev accidentally had a fun fight and Shara Bullet delivered a stunning contender for Worst KO of the Year. Our latest bonus episode: https://www.patreon.com/heavyhands Heavy Hands merch: https://www.redbubble.com/shop/ap/64577943?asc=u 

A little crunchier than Volkanovski, but tasty nonetheless. Magomed Ankalaev accidentally had a fun fight and Shara Bullet delivered a stunning contender for Worst KO of the Year. Our latest bonus episode: https://www.patreon.com/heavyhands Heavy Hands merch: https://www.redbubble.com/shop/ap/64577943?asc=u 

Ilia Topuria has a lot to prove if he wants to find his place in the greatest championship lineage in MMA history. Talking mad shit about Magomed Ankalaev in our latest bonus episode: https://www.patreon.com/heavyhands Heavy Hands merch: https://www.redbubble.com/shop/ap/64577943?asc=u 

Wait... was this thing not plugged in? Big is beautiful in the latest episode of our sumo show, Heavy Henka: https://www.patreon.com/heavyhands Breaking down Daniel Dubois' shocking win over Anthony Joshua: https://facepunching.substack.com/ Heavy Hands merch: https://www.redbubble.com/shop/ap/64577943?asc=u 

It turns out chess matches don't have to suck. Nobody tell Joe Rogan. Big is beautiful in the latest episode of our sumo show, Heavy Henka: https://www.patreon.com/heavyhands Breaking down Daniel Dubois' shocking win over Anthony Joshua: https://facepunching.substack.com/ Heavy Hands merch: https://www.redbubble.com/shop/ap/64577943?asc=u 

Excuse me sir, do you have a moment to talk about Alex Pereira? Breaking down Sean Brady vs Gilbert Burns and more on Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/heavyhands Yes, pivots work in MMA. Don't believe me? Free reading on the Finer Points of Facepunching: https://facepunching.substack.com/p/yes-pivots-work-in-mma Heavy Hands merch: https://www.redbubble.com/shop/ap/64577943?asc=u 

Daniel Dubois defeated Anthony Joshua in a shocking upset, but what does that matter when the UFC is going to France! Breaking down Sean Brady vs Gilbert Burns and more on Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/heavyhands  Yes, pivots work in MMA. Don't believe me? Free reading on the Finer Points of Facepunching: https://facepunching.substack.com/p/yes-pivots-work-in-mma Heavy Hands merch: https://www.redbubble.com/shop/ap/64577943?asc=u  

What could be better than two of the dullest, most one-sided title fights in recent memory? How about two dull, one-sided title fights... with LIGHTS! Breaking down Sean Brady vs Gilbert Burns and more on Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/heavyhands  Yes, pivots work in MMA. Don't believe me? Free reading on the Finer Points of Facepunching: https://facepunching.substack.com/p/yes-pivots-work-in-mma  Heavy Hands merch: https://www.redbubble.com/shop/ap/64577943?asc=u 

The UFC commemorates Mexican Independence Day with a fight between an American and a Georgian, brought to you by the Kingdom of Saudi Arabia. Breaking down Sean Brady vs Gilbert Burns and more on Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/heavyhands Yes, pivoting works in MMA: https://facepunching.substack.com/  Heavy Hands merch: https://www.redbubble.com/shop/ap/64577943?asc=u 

Is Team Evil's sweet baby boy getting put out to pasture? Dricus Du Plessis - The Punisher: https://facepunching.substack.com/ Support us and listen to bonus episodes on Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/heavyhands  Heavy Hands merch: https://www.redbubble.com/shop/ap/64577943?asc=u