Thomas And The Bible

Today we finish the charmingly boring tale of Ruth, then we move on to the charmingly boring tale of Samuel, some other loser priest. Also, fck you, Rob. You're a total dck. I suppose I should just ignore it but I think I'll do the opposite. Dck.

Don't judge me but I'm pretty sick of this current book. Good thing it's OVA. However, if you were hoping that Ruth would be the action packed superior sequel to Judges that Speed 2 was to Speed, you will be sorely disappointed...

Episode 60! This is a weird one. Also, really gruesome and sad. I really can't wait to get to a part of the bible with more substance though. Pretty much nothing happens nothing happens then POW weird/horrible/gruesome story!

Samsonite... I was way off. This reading has Samson and Delilah, the epic love story! Except that it's actually not so epic.... It is really quite hilarious how pathetic the actual story is, as told in the bible. Tune in and find out!

Alright it's already late so this description is going to be brief. Pretty much this one is a tale of unprovoked, ridiculously over the top vows. Fathers, never make them.

More of the exact same crap that happens every stupid page of this dumb book. Can't even think of a reason to write any more creative a description than that.

I'm back again again again for the ninth time. Well Joshua has decided to die again, and the lord is going to teach all those scheming Israelites a lesson by sort of punishing them, then rewarding them the minute they complain, then repeating.

Long live Joshua, the one who died so quickly! Dr. Joshua Kavorkian put us out of our misery quite mercifully. Also, we're starting a new book! So far it reads like a bible but hopefully that will change.

In this short installment, nothing. Well some things but you'll have to listen to find out. Not that I'm trying to make it suspenseful or something but I truly have already forgotten what happened. Drugs.

Jesus mother of Moses, Joshua has lost it. I seriously wonder if Moses came back from the dead and wrote this part. Joshua went from 60-0 in 2 seconds. Unbelievable. I might lose my audience because god made his bible so bad. Touche, sir.

Well it was a full day of murdering for the Israelites so I certainly hope they ate a good breakfast. Sometimes it's really hard to maintain the level of killing necessary to please Yahweh without your hacking arm getting a little fatigued. Eat bananas.

Another episode of your favorite goofy, mass murdering Israelites! What will they think of next! Hijinks for this episode include luring an entire army out of a city to burn it down from within, and then murder every man woman and child! OMG, pranked!

I now worship at the alter of Joshua. This book is SUCH a relief so far. You'll never even believe what happens.... You'll never guess.... go ahead, try.... nope, wrong. SOMETHING. That's it. That's what happened. I know!

This is it.... the episode we've all been waiting for.... FINALLY it's here... if you don't know what I'm talking about, I envy you because that means you haven't been plagued by the wretchedness that is what I'm talking about right now at this very moment

Well... someday something is going to happen in this here bible and you'll feel awfully silly for not reading my descriptions anymore. Sadly, today is not that day. Nothing happens. Moses sucks and won't die ever.

This is the worst pentatuke I've ever read. I can't wait to move onto another pentatuke... or just anything else. This reading was pretty hilarious though. I'm starting to think maybe Moses made all of this up.

Alright, I've recovered from a major website hack and live to tell the story! And Moses rewards us with maybe the best all around riduclous bit of bible yet! Listen to this podcast or you're letting the cyber terrorists win!

......and..... this book still sucks.

Screw this. This book is terrible. Freaking terrible.

And once again.... more repetition once again, repeatedly repeating himself is the repetitive Moses. Again and again he repeats himself like he is stuck on a loop of repeating, over and over, not able to stop the repetition.