Kiss The Goat

Join Cootie, X, and Chef Al as they travel to 1970’s England to discuss the weird undead biker flick, PSYCHOMANIA. If you’ve never seen it, believe us: it’s like nothing you’ve ever seen. You’ll also hear a fabulous Get Your Exorcize, we’ll play Three Questions, Chef Al gives us an English menu, and… toads? Don’t be a silly git! Stick this show into you earholes, which are in your face sides. Enjoy! ★ Support this podcast on Patreon ★

The show you wait for all year is here! Hot diggy! Join X and Cootie in the luxury of their library as they discuss holiday traditions, myths, and legends from around the world. Co-host Al McPherson flips us a bird. Your High Priest and Priestess of Satanic Cinema break down the  holiday classic, Santa’s Slay, and X’s love and admiration of wrestling icon Bill Goldberg comes to terrifying light. You’ll hear holiday greetings from friends and Acolytes and a brand new holiday song from X! Why waste time with family and friends this holiday season? Spend Christmas with the Devil, right here on KTG. Hail Santa!   ★ Support this podcast on Patreon ★

Welcome to another episode of Kiss the Goat! This time around, Cootie and X try to wrap their arms around Clive Barker’s Hellraiser. Is it a Devil movie, or just a glorified BDSM show? We know the answers, and so do you. Look into your heart. You know it to be true. You’ll also get to hear a man possessed by a Muppet, a funky fresh Ask the Goat, and we’re joined by Chef Al for a recipe that straddles the line between pleasure and pain. And what do Christopher Reeve, Christopher Lambert and Linda McMahon have to do with Hellraiser? Not much, for sure, but that doesn’t keep us from talking about them! Hang on to your butts and gently insert this show into your earholes! You’ll be moderately surprised that you did. ★ Support this podcast on Patreon ★

Sometimes, it just doesn’t pay to accept free movie tickets from a guy with a half-metal face. X and Cootie learn this lesson the hard way as they roll through Lamberto Bava’s 1985 goopfest, Demons, on this episode of Kiss the Goat. You’ll also get a great recipe from Allan McPherson, another wacky exorcism, and hopefully, you’ll gain a brand new respect for the glory that is Tony the Pimp . Join Cootie, X, and Al for another obscenely informational episode of KTG. Shove this into your faceholes before a helicopter comes crashing through your roof! ★ Support this podcast on Patreon ★

The 1971 grindhouse classic is back in an amazing two-disc Blu-Ray set, and Cootie and X have got it! One of them is happy about it! Guess which one? Please enjoy the new episode of KTG, complete with the new hit segment, The Devil Eats Out, with our own personal gourmand, Allan McPherson. You won’t believe what he’s created for this episode, but you might piss yourself hearing about it. Also: Ask the Goat and what happens when The Little Mermaid rises from the sea to possess a South African woman? You’ll find out in Get Your Exorcize! Take your mind off of the election sideshow with one of the funniest episodes X  and Cootie have ever manifested into being! Shove this into your earholes right away! Spread the word! Tell your friends! Tell strangers! Hail Cindy!   ★ Support this podcast on Patreon ★

Welcome to the triumphant return of Kiss the Goat! Well, maybe triumphant isn’t the right word. Victorious? Maybe… no.  Okay. Welcome to the audible return of Kiss the Goat! We’ve got some of the old segments you loved, some new stuff we hope you’ll really dig, and we’re taking a look at one of the most popular horror movies in recent years: The  Witch. All KINDS of stuff going in this episode, some barely controlled madness. We present it with the best of  intentions. Not for children. Not for a lot of adults, too. Fair warning. ★ Support this podcast on Patreon ★

Let us speak now of fallen friends and colleagues.Join us as we say goodbye to our faithful “Satan in the News” correspondent, Cindy “Sin” Fallon.Be warned: this is not an easy listen. If you are triggered by frank talk about suicide, we strongly suggest you give this one a miss. ★ Support this podcast on Patreon ★

  Cootie and X continue their voyage through the land of Condemned Films, stopping this time in 1976 to go to prom. That’s right, it’s Brian De Palmas’s Stephen King’s “Carrie,” in all of its full-frontal, blood-soaked glory. I mean, you’ve seen “Carrie,” right?Right?Oh, dude. You’ve got to see “Carrie.” Then again, X and Cootie spoil the shit out of it on this episode, so you should probably get your priorities straight.Singing! Bleeding! Singing! It’s true. This may be the most musical episode of KTG. It may also be the longest. And also maybe the funniest. That’s arguable. Subjective. You should find out for yourself.There’s also questions, answers, quanswers, and Sin’s got Satan in the News for your ass. But don’t listen to it with your ass. Listen with your face ears! And how do you do that? Simple.PLUG IT UP! PLUG IT UP!I guess that should be, “plug THEM up.” Ears is plurals.  ★ Support this podcast on Patreon ★

Drunk on a Monday? Who would dare? Why, X and Cootie would, and we’ve got the audio evidence to prove it. Once again, your gracious hosts have traveled outside their safety zone to provide you with a commentary for a classic horror film they wouldn’t get the chance to discuss otherwise. There may not be any devils in this episode’s movie, but there are lots of chainsaws. There are also a lot of bad jokes and foul language. What’s new? Please join X and Cootie as they talk all the way through “The Texas Chainsaw Massacre.” Enjoy! ★ Support this podcast on Patreon ★

Hey, what’cha doin’ tonight? Are you maybe watching EVENT HORIZON? You should watch it with X and Cootie! Tune in to the very first KTG movie commentary, as we run our fat drunk mouths all the way through this haunted spaceship classic. It’s still scary, and even better with the two of us yammering all the way through it! You won’t need eyes to listen to us talk! Cue up your DVD and go to hell! #CreepySamNeill ★ Support this podcast on Patreon ★

 Have you ever heard of the League of Decency? Certainly not something we would normally be involved with, but for decades, they policed motion pictures even more strictly than the MPAA. They had the power to rate films “C — CONDEMNED.” What kind of movies did the LOD hate so much they felt the need to condemn them? Let’s find out! On Episode 30 of Kiss the Goat, your High Priest and Priestess of Satanic Cinema take a slight detour and start a series on the condemned films of the League of Decency, starting with Alfred Hitchcock’s Psycho! There are no sacred cows on Kiss the Goat, and X & Cootie still give it the business. Also: Sin returns with a super-segment of Satan in the News, we take the Demon Test, and Cootie has an announcement concerning our web presence. We also use terrible language, put forth unpopular opinions, and make strange sounds with our bodies. Doesn’t that sound like how you want to spend two hours? It sure does to you! Lube up those ear canals and slowly ease us into them! It only h

 Episode 29 of Kiss the Goat finds your High Priest and Priestess in a fascinating place: drunk after midnight. After a few weeks of tech upgrades, X and Cootie realize they don’t remember how to run their own show. The result is barely organized chaos. Missing segments. Apologies. Wheezing laughter. All of that, plus a breakdown of Sam Raimi’s Drag Me to Hell involving Ukranian porn stars, pieces of shit and office supplies.  Oh, and a rocking segment of Ask the Goat.No script.No filters.No clue.Welcome back to Kiss the Goat. ★ Support this podcast on Patreon ★

We know you’ve missed the show, and now it comes back in the most hellish possible way. Series Two of KTG begins with The Second Annual Kiss the Goat Holiday Special! Join your High Priest and Priestess of the Holidays, X and Cootie, and their Skyclad Correspondent, Sin Fallon, as they put the “mess” back in “Christmas.” Skits! Special musical guests: Hollowmen! Sin tells a North Pole story that will chill your blood! Voicemails and holiday greetings from the Acolytes in a festive session of “Ask the Goat!” Cootie and X tell the Christmas Story as only they can! And a brand new Christmas song from X himself. If this isn’t entertainment, it at least smells like it! It’s Kiss the Goat: Whether you like it or whether you don’t, learn to love it, because it’s the be(a)st thing going! ★ Support this podcast on Patreon ★

  Here’s another fun-sized episode for y’all. The ASK THE GOAT segment is one of the most enjoyable parts of the show for us, simply because it can get wild. Nothing is scripted or censored, and of course, we don’t have any kind of filter, so we love to answer the questions our Acolytes send us. It’s also a segment that highlights our listeners! We’ve always felt we have some of the greatest, smartest, funniest fans in the world, and this part of the show lets us interact with them in a way other shows would never allow. It’s just a lot of fun for everyone, and that makes us happy. We managed to salvage the ASK THE GOAT segment from the Great Lost Episode of the show. As we continue to put Series 2 of KTG together, we present this small section simply because it’s a hoot. Enjoy, y’all! ★ Support this podcast on Patreon ★

  Hello, Acolytes!   Your Demonic Duo has been taking a wee bit of a break in between series of KTG, but we got a wild hair (like we do) and have come up with, well, we’ll call it a “mini-sode.” No Satan in the News, no Ask the Goat, none of the stuff you usually get to hear, BUT… This is unscripted, uncensored, barely edited and totally drunk. We think you’ll like it. The topic is Movies that Get Us in the Mood for Halloween (While Not Necessarily Being about Halloween). That’s a long fucking title, though, so we just called it “X & Cootie Get in the Mood.” Shove us into your earholes for half an hour so, won’t you? We promise not to wiggle too much. ★ Support this podcast on Patreon ★

Hello, Acolytes. It’s been a while since a full-blown KTG episode, and I hate to leave y’all hanging without new material this long. So while we’re working on another top-notch batch of hilarious Satanic radio theater, let me give you something you just might enjoy. Back in the late spring, I got the opportunity to interview one of the founding members of Goblin, Claudio Simonetti. I was a shambling mess talking to the guy. He’s one of my musical heroes, for crying out loud, and there I was in my expensive recording studio (I mean, bedroom) in Knoxville and there was the guy who helped write the soundtracks for Deep Red and Suspiria and did the entire score for Demons by himself, for cryin’ out loud. It’s amazing I didn’t cry while speaking in tongues and shitting myself so hard, it flew up my back like a fucking solid geyser of shit. That’s gross. Sorry. I transcribed a portion of this interview for an article at Popshifter in celebration of the remastered reissue of the Demons soundtrack on Rustblade Recor

Oh, frabjous July! Not only does this month mark Cootie’s birthday, but it’s also the one year anniversary of Kiss the Goat! Let the bells ring and the banners fly! And while you’re at it, why don’t you give a listen to this Listener’s Choice episode? The Acolytes at the Facebook group page picked 1997’s THE DEVIL’S ADVOCATE for Cootie to watch, and believe us, she’s got plenty to say about it. Also: our clothing-optional Satan in the News segment, Drinking with the Devil and we answer the age-old question, “Why would a man piss on his own face?” Won’t you lube up your tight little earholes and stick us into them? We promise we won’t tell your mother! WARNING: Nudity, adult language, adult situations and so many spoilers, you’ll think the show has salmonella. ★ Support this podcast on Patreon ★

Welcome to Kiss the Goat! This is a momentous episode for a few reasons. It’s the product of three recording sessions, spanning two countries, resulting in a coffee-fueled twelve hour edit! It’s our 25th episode over all. It’s also our first episode on Legion Podcasts! [It’s also the episode where we learned X’s mute button doesn’t work, so apologies in advance for the strange noises. So it goes.] This time around, X and Cootie, your Demonic Duo, take a look at 1999’s Schwarzenegger apocalypse adventure, END OF DAYS. The movie gets spoiled from hell to breakfast in typical KTG style. Sin Fallon brings us “Satan in the News!” Allan McPherson drops some knowledge in our “Ask A Lapsed Catholic” segment! Plus, there’s a drinking game, a semi-literate breakdown of the film and a rousing segment of “Ask the Goat,” where X and Cootie answer listener questions! Not to mention… yeah, we discuss the interesting turn of current events. If you’re cool with full spoilers, bad language, and trigger warnings for just about

The greatest trick Hollywood ever pulled was convincing viewers that bad movies don’t exist. But they do! And in great numbers. Your Demonic Duo can prove it… they found one! And it’s a real stinker. Kim Basinger furrows her brow in the face of ultimate evil in this festering foot boil of a movie, BLESS THE CHILD. But wait! There’s more! Our Satan in the News correspondent, Sin Fallon, reports on the Charlie Charlie craze, our search for a Cathol continues and at last, Kiss the Goat takes over the world! Lock it in and rip the knob off! ★ Support this podcast on Patreon ★

At some point, in 1974, some film studio execs thought it would be a great idea to make a movie involving Donald Pleasence, Joan Collins, a horny dwarf named Hercules and a demon possessed baby. To this date, no one knows why. Regardless, the movie was released in the States as THE DEVIL WITHIN HER, and your Demonic Duo is all over it, possibly spending a couple of moments under it, because why not? Also on this here epi-ma-sode: Sin’s got the news, Paul Anka goes to hell and we talk about that one goddamned episode of SOUTH PARK. It’s all right here on Kiss the Goat. Why would you kiss a goat anywhere else? ★ Support this podcast on Patreon ★