Eft/tapping Q & A Podcast W/ Gene Monterastelli - Emotional Freedom Techniques

One of the things I love most about tapping is its flexibility. Not only can it be used on a wide range of issues, but it can be used in a numerous ways. Steve Wells and his colleague David Lake have spent years playing around with the basic EFT recipe. They asked what worked, what didn't work, and how it could be improved. In the end they created something they call Simple Energy Technique (SET) which is a user friendly collection of the best of the best techniques. In this interview Steve talks about the ways in which SET is similar to and different from EFT. SET is so simple and straightforward that you will be able to add the parts you find useful to your tapping right away.

A huge piece of who we are is where we came from. Our personality and our beliefs are shaped from a very early age by the people around us and the stories they told. We describe ourselves by our family name, our heritage, where we grew up, and our nationality. This type of connection to our past is important and healthy, but there are times when it becomes a problem. It becomes easy to use these descriptions of who we are as a way of limiting ourselves unnecessarily, for example: The men in my family were never good at sharing their emotions You know how hot tempered we Irish are The women in my family always have had trouble with love In this interview with EFT Master Jacqui Crooks we talk about the conscious and subconscious ways in which we adopt these beliefs as our own, how debilitating they can be, and what we can do to release them in a healthy way without damaging our connection with the people we love.

Taking care of others is easy to do. We see needs, suffering, and struggle. We respond. Often (at least for me) it is hard for us to extend the same type of care and concern to ourselves. In this interview with EFT Master Loretta Sparks we talk about some of the most common reasons that caring people have such a hard time taking care of themselves. We also talk about a number of simple tools and steps that can be implemented right now to make it easier to care for yourself.

Years ago a friend of mine wrote a book called "Real Love In A Pizza Love World". In English at least, love is a tricky word. We use it for so many things, and in so many ways, that sometimes it can be hard to get our mind wrapped around the idea of wanting to be loving and be love. In this interview with Terry Lynch we talk about the way she approaches the word love, and also demonstrates the protocol of EmoTrance on me.

One of the questions I receive a lot from people new to tapping is, "Aren't you worried that you will tap something bad in?" That is a reasonable concern. Often when we are tapping we are saying phrases about how we would like our life to be better while we are tapping. From the outside it almost looks like we are driving the positive phrases into our body and our mind. But that isn't what is really happening. Instead, from my point of view at least, we are in the process of clearing out inaccurate beliefs and perceptions. In this podcast I explain what I think is really happening when we are tapping, how we can be more successful with our tapping, and why the big pink eraser I have in my front pocket informs the way I tap.

Last weekend I had the chance to speak at the Spring EFT & Energy Gathering (Northeastern USA) just outside NYC. I was asked to speak on EFT and Self-Sabotage. My talk was about 5 lenses we can use to figure out the core issues of our self-sabotage. After explaining them I share how we can tap for those issues once they are identified. You can download the handout for the talk here: handout Please note that the sound quality isn't the greatest, but it is good enough to get the information across.

On some level most people who smoke really want to quit. Even though the will to change is strong in the larger context of their lives, it is really hard to motivate change in the moment because "one cigarette won't kill me." Usually smoking isn't the core problem, but symptomatic of a larger issue. In this interview Sue Beer and I talk about how we can use EFT to stop smoking.

I recently did a survey of some of my favorite professional tappers. One of the questions I asked was, "Who in the field is doing the most controversial and experimental work?" The name that came back the most was Robert Smith. I have done a number of reader surveys over the years asking who you’d like to hear on the podcast. Of practitioners who have not already been interviewed, who is nominated most often? Robert Smith. So after a number of false starts I finally have an interview with Robert about Faster EFT. I find Robert's approach very thoughtful and that I agree with his world view about healing. I would love to hear your thoughts on the interview and Faster EFT.

Sometimes there is a clear entry point to a problem. There is a past moment we keep reliving where we see exactly what went wrong. Other times there is a clear pattern we are trying to change, like emotional eating, where we can tap on specific actions that are happening regularly. But this is not always the case. Sometimes there are issues beneath the surface which affect us more generally, such as low self esteem, and it’s difficult to know how to tap for them. In this interview I talk with Lindsay Kenny about a simple process that we can use for these issues. I would encourage you to have a piece of paper and pencil to hand as you listen. As we did this interview I worked through the process in real time and found it extremely helpful.

We live in interesting times. Every morning when I wake up I am bombarded with friend requests, invitations to attend events, fund projects, and try new programs. At the exact same time it is possible for me to go through an entire day and not have one single profound connection with another person. In this conversation with Rick Wilkes we talk about how scary it can be to put yourself out in the world with the intention of making genuine connections when it feels like we will be judged. This is Rick's fourth appearance on the podcast. The reason I have him back so often is because he is so insightful! This conversation is one of my favorites and I really encourage you to listen to it!

Most of my readers, listeners, and clients are big hearted people. Not only do they see the obstacles in their own lives, but they recognize the struggle of others. When we recognize the struggles of others we also open ourselves up to experiencing their pain. On one hand this allows us to connect and respond to where they are coming from. On the other hand it can open us up to feeling overwhelmed and a great deal of pain when we realize how many problems we are unable to solve. It is a tricky balance between being open and not being so open that we feel overwhelmed. Here is how I try to navigate this balance:

When I am working with clients one of the things I keep in mind with all behavior is that when someone makes a choice they are making the best choice they can make based on the information they have and the resource state they are in. We can quickly realize that we have made a bad choice (something in a split second after we have acted), but in that moment we are really doing the best that we can. The problem comes when we are working for a place of fear. When this happens we will make lots of short term choices and very few long term choices. This can create a series of many bad choices. Over time these choices add up and we can end up in a place where we no longer trust ourselves or trust our ability to make a good choice. In this interview I talk with Andy Bryce about what are the underlying causes of losing that trust in ourselves (such as guilt, shame, and lack trust) and how we can turn that around.

Over the last few weeks I have shared with you thoughts from some of my favorite tappers. I asked them what mistakes beginners and pros make, as well as what they have found to be the most effective ways to tap. In this week’s podcast I take on all three questions: What Are The Biggest Mistakes Made By Pro Tappers? What Are The Biggest Mistakes Made By Beginner Tappers? What Have You Found To Be The Most Successful Approaches To EFT? In answering the third question I share the tool I use more than any other when working with clients.

In my client sessions and even in my personal tapping I have noticed an interesting internal conflict. On the one hand we want to be seen, noticed, and validated. On the other, there is a part of us wanting to go through the world unseen and unnoticed, because if we are seen we can be judged. In this interview I talk with Rue Hass about this dichotomy. We look at what it means to be invisible, how we end up being invisible, and how it is possible to be invisible to our own selves. We also talk about how we can use EFT to become our more authentic selves which makes being invisible less of an issue.

In my client sessions and even in my personal tapping I have noticed an interesting internal conflict. On the one hand we want to be seen, noticed, and validated. On the other, there is a part of us wanting to go through the world unseen and unnoticed, because if we are seen we can be judged. In this interview I talk with Rue Hass about this dichotomy. We look at what it means to be invisible, how we end up being invisible, and how it is possible to be invisible to our own selves. We also talk about how we can use EFT to become our more authentic selves which makes being invisible less of an issue.

There are few things more frustrating than chronic illness. In addition to the pain and suffering that come with the illness there is also the way that the unending nature of the symptoms grind on the system. In this interview I talk to Annabel Fisher about her personal experience of chronic illness and how she transformed it with EFT. We also discuss the steps you can use to tap for chronic issues.

EFT is a powerful tool when it comes to healing and transformation. Burdens and wounds that we have carried for decades can be cleared. It is an amazing thing to experience this type of freedom in our lives. After this type of release there can be a let down because after healing something so powerful we feel like our life should be much different. Sometime we can release so much and still feel the same day today. Here are few thoughts on how to respond to the let down of things feeling like they are the same after healing something large.

We do not live in a vacuum. Not only do the choices we make impact others (and vice versa) in the moment, but there is also a lasting impact from the relationships we have had in the past. Some of these relationships have obvious deep impact, while others affect us in ways of which we are unaware. In this interview I talk to Gwyneth Moss about a new approach that she uses in helping people to understand and unpack the web of life. This is a tool that she uses only occasionally because of the unique circumstances required to execute it well. Even though this is something that you won't reproduce there are many lessons to be learned that you can add to your own tapping right away.

Gwenn Bonnell is always one of my favorite guests on the Tapping Q and A Podcast because every time I talk to her I learn something new. This interview was no different. In this interview we talk about how to tap for resentment. And this is not just about feeling resentment towards other people. We can also resent our computer for not working, a company for not being helpful, and ourselves for making the same bad choice again and again. The interesting thing about resentment is that it is an emotion that bubbles below the surface so it isn’t always obvious to us, like anger or sadness. Because of this we can forget to tap for it because it doesn't feel like it is impacting our immediate present. In this interview Gwenn shares a great 3 step tool to get to the core of resentment, and how to tap for it once you are there.

One of the biggest struggles we have in doing any sort of transformational work is the fact that it is possible for us to NOT see the issue at hand clearly. We are shaped by our experience, our training, our biases, the stories we tell about ourselves, and what we hope is true. Because of this, even with the intention to do healing work, we can end up going down a path that is not fruitful. The problem with these misperceptions is that it is nearly impossible know when this is the case and if we need to change course in our approach. In this interview I talk with Dr. Shoshana Garfield about how to deal with misperceptions about our issues, ourselves, and the world. Based on her own life experiences and over 20 years of working with severe trauma, Shoshana talks about ways we can see ourselves and our world more clearly to help us to move forward. (We even do a little tapping for it!)