Rhett Smith Podcast

Informações:

Sinopsis

Therapist + Writer + SpeakerIn this long-form interview format Rhett explores the lives of various thought leaders to discover what helped them thrive in multiple areas of their lives, and what lessons we can learn from them. Rhett is particularly interested in the intersection of self-care and relationships, and he loves to explore how one can thrive physically, emotionally, mentally and spiritually. He interacts with people such as therapists, athletes, spiritual leaders, entrepreneurs and many others, covering a variety of topics from fitness, leadership, mental health, and spirituality.What would your marriage look like when you are thriving? What does your parenting look like when you are thriving? What does your work look like when you are thriving? What does your faith look like when you are thriving? When we thrive in these areas of our lives we become people who are "life-giving." And when we are "life-givers" we impact all the relationships around us in positive ways. So engage the podcast and discover how you can thrive personally and relationally.

Episodios

  • Robert Scholz on Addiction Through the Lens of Restoration Therapy

    27/03/2019 Duración: 51min

    In this episode I get to sit down with a colleague of mine who I have been getting to know more over the last couple of years in our collaborative work together around Restoration Therapy and ministry leaders.   Robert Scholz is a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist, consultant and writer, who specializes in helping individuals and families who are struggling with addictions.   I am so glad to have Robert on the podcast, as addictions is something that I come into contact almost everyday in my work, but it's not something that I specialize in. So thankfully I have skilled people like Robert that I can refer to. In this episode we dive into what an addiction is, it's characteristics, and how it is defined. And we explore the impact of addiction on relationships, and more specifically drugs and alcohol, while also touching on the rampant and addictive nature of vaping.     Mentioned in the Episode Robert Scholz Website Vital Tools for Relevant Church Leaders: Restoring Relationships and Building Community Du

  • Conversation with Terry and Sharon Hargrave on the Beginnings and Future of Restoration Therapy and Relate Strong

    22/03/2019 Duración: 50min

    In this episode I spend some time in conversation with Terry and Sharon Hargrave. Terry is the founder of Restoration Therapy and is the Evelyn and Frank Freed Professor of Marriage and Family Therapy at Fuller Theological Seminary and Sharon is the Executive Director of the Boone Center for the Family at Pepperdine University, as well as the founder and director of Relate Strong.   I have known this couple for about 8 years, and not only do I consider them close friends, but I am a huge fan of them. Restoration Therapy has changed my life and practice, and my wife and I have also trained together in Relate Strong.   I can not say enough nice things about Terry and Sharon, and the impact they are making upon the world. In this episode we explore some of the early roots of Restoration Therapy and Relate Strong, and why we are bringing this work to ministry leaders in our workshops that we do several times a year.   Mentioned in the Episode Download your free copy of Vital Tools for Relevant Church Leaders Rest

  • Dust and Identity

    01/03/2019 Duración: 27min

      "for dust you are and to dust you will return.” (Genesis 3:19) In this episode I reflect on the passage found in Genesis 3:19 that is repeated every Ash Wednesday.   It's a beautiful, but harrowing passage that reminds us of just how fragile and short our lives are.   But this reminder, rather than being tragic, is to help us focus on our life on what is important.   We were created from the very dust of the earth (Genesis 2:7). Our first work (vocation) was to work the land (the dust) we were created from, displaying a connection between our identity and the work, service and hobbies we put our lives towards (Genesis 2:15). And yet, often, many things cut us off from this very soil (the dust), and disconnect us not only from our identity, but our Creator as well (Genesis 4:14).     Mentioned in Episode "The Summer Day" by Mary Oliver Water from Rock (Check out their Lenten Devotionals) Henri Nouwen Ray Anderson Semana Santa in Antigua, Guatemala

  • Possibly the Two Most Important Questions We Can Ask Ourselves

    28/02/2019 Duración: 35min

      And he said, "Hagar, slave-girl, of Sarai, where have you come from and where are you going?" Genesis 16:8 Where have you come from? Where are you going? Perhaps these are two of the most important and fundamental questions we can ask ourselves. I appreciate that Jay Stringer brings to these questions in his phenomenal book, Unwanted: How Sexual Brokenness Reveals Our Way to Healing. It wasn't until I read his book that I realized, these are two of the most fundamental questions I have been asking my whole life...and they are the questions that I am continually asking my clients in my therapy practice. They often don't take the form of those exact sentences, but they are asked in some form or fashion throughout my work. And it is these two questions, and this text, that I dive into in this episode. I hope you enjoy the episode. And more importantly, I hope you are asking yourself these two questions. Mentioned in the Episode Unwanted: How Sexual Brokenness Reveals Our Way to Healing by Jay Stringer The Mess

  • The Creation Account, Self-Differentiation and Restoration Therapy

    21/02/2019 Duración: 21min

    This episode is somewhat of a continuation of Episode 115 where I reflected both theologically and psychologically on the biblical text found in Genesis 1-3 (and a little of 4). Those opening chapters have lots of insight and implications for us relationally. In this episode I want to pick up on some of those themes, especially the idea of self-differentiation, and focus on how Restoration Therapy lends itself nicely to this concept. I think you will find this a helpful episode in understand you and your relationships better.  

  • Reframing How We Talk About Anxiety and Depression

    13/02/2019 Duración: 01h07min

    I had the opportunity this last Monday to record a video on anxiety with another therapist, and one of the pastors at Preston Trail Community Church in Frisco. And then a few hours later, I talked to a group of parents at Legacy Christian Academy in Frisco about anxiety and depression. It's obvious that anxiety and depression are prevalent issues affecting our culture today. One only has to read the latest headlines, look into the most up to date statistics, or have a conversation with someone you know....everyone seems to struggle with anxiety and depression at some point in their life. This is an issue I have talked about a lot, and I continue to talk about it, as it's something I am very passionate about. There are lots of angles to approach this topic, but the most important in my mind is that we reframe the conversation around anxiety and depression as one being about shame and something being wrong with someone...to it's something that affects all of us, and we need to be able to bring it out into the o

  • Some Relational Reflections on Genesis 1-4 (at the intersection of theology and psychology)

    02/02/2019 Duración: 36min

    As I mentioned in a previous podcast, I thought I would take some time this year (on occasion) to stop and reflect on my reading of the bible, and how it connects at the intersection of theology and psychology. So in this episode I want to take some time and just reflect on Genesis 1-4 and some insights that may be helpful for you and your relationships. Enjoy the episode. Books Mentioned in this Episode Creation and Fall: A Theological Exposition of Genesis 1-3 by Dietrich Bonhoeffer On Being Human: Essays in Theological Anthropology by Ray Anderson Exclusion and Embrace: A Theological Exploration of Identity, Otherness and Reconciliation by Miroslav Volf

  • Journals, Goal Setting, and a New Season of Podcasts

    01/02/2019 Duración: 27min

    It's been about 5 months since my last podcast episode, as I was needing to take a break for a while why I focused on some other goals.   But it's time for a new podcast season, and in this episode I talk about some new topics I am going to explore this season, as well as some new goals that I have been working on, and how I am using a paper journal to help me stay focused and on track. I hope that this episode motivates you in the new year, and gives you some new ideas to accomplish all that you set out to do.    

  • Letting the Silence Unfold Between You and Others

    19/09/2018 Duración: 18min

    "Love consists in this, that two solitudes, protect and border and salute each other." -- Rainer Maria Rilke   A couple of weeks ago my wife and I returned from a "marriage adventure" on the Inca Trail in Peru. This adventure (through WinShape and Intrepid), led us for four days and 3 nights hiking along the 33 miles to Machu Picchu. This was an unbelievable experience for my wife and I as we led four other couples on this marriage adventure. But probably one of the most transformative aspects of the trip was the moments (sometimes very long moments -- hours at a time) of silence as I walked along the trail. And what struck me most was the moments of silence between my wife and I. A comfortable silence where neither of us felt the need to talk or crack jokes, or lighten the levity with noise. But instead, it was that silence that drove me closer to God, and closer to her. And it was in that silence that I really grew.   In this episode I reflect on the importance of silence in relationships, which is somethin

  • God "Intermingles" All Things Together for Good

    23/08/2018 Duración: 23min

    As many of you know from listening to my podcasts, or reading my blog over the years, is I'm pretty obsessed with the novels of Susan Howatch. Particularly her Starbridge Series of which I'm about to finish my 9th reading of the series in the last 15 years. It's that impactful and transforming in my life.   But I talk about one book in particular in this podcast episode (Absolute Truths by Susan Howatch), and more specifically about one verse. The verse is Romans 8:28. The NIV translation is as follows:  And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose.   The Scottish theologian William Barclay translated the verse the following way:   “God intermingles all things for good for those who love Him.” (Romans 8:28, translated by William Barclay)   I'm particularly drawn to this translation of the Greek text, especially as it tends to communicate that God takes all the bad and good, all the light and dark, all the negative and positive, and

  • People Are Complex, So Don't Judge

    18/07/2018 Duración: 26min

      "I'd like to know more, of course, but I've accepted that there's nothing more he has to say; I've accepted that there's a limit on our knowledge of even those who are closest to us. The older one gets the more one realises how saturated life is in mystery, and the biggest mystery of all, it often seems to me, is the mystery of the human personality." -- Lyle Ashworth   Scandalous Risks by Susan Howatch In this episode I explore the mystery that are people, and how it's not really until we create a safe space for others, become curious about them, and acknowledge that not all is to be known about ourselves and others, can we truly live in grace with one another.   Mentioned in the Episode Lost Susan Howatch Starbridge Series Glittering Images Glamorous Powers Ultimate Prizes Scandalous Risks Mystical Paths Absolute Truths Dallas Willard Renovation of the Heart Jean Marie Rilke Letters to a Young Poet Kalil Gibran The Prophet

  • 8 Simple Principles to Help You Achieve Your Goals This Year

    17/01/2018 Duración: 36min

    One of the things that happens at the beginning of every year, or at the start of a major transition, is that you see people setting goals. If you were like me you probably thought about all the goals you wanted to achieve in the New Year, and you might have even taken the time to write them down. But if you are also like me, it's possible that you have declared goals in the past, but never quite saw them to completion.   I count it a privilege that I get to spend about 1200 hours a year in session with people because I get to learn all kinds of helpful tools and tips from them. Though they are coming to get help from me (and I hope they find it helpful), I too am learning from them.   So in this episode I want to share with you 8 principles that I have found to be helpful in setting and completing goals. These are principles I've gleaned from reading, and from clients and colleagues and friends, and most importantly, they are principles I have put into action and had success with in my own life.   So in this

  • Managing and Using Your Anxiety in the New Year

    10/01/2018 Duración: 40min

    The new near can bring forth a lot of varying emotions from people. In my experience, a large number of people come into the new year very excited about change and all the potential possibilities that await them. It's often a time to start anew. But there is also a large number of people who come into the new year with a lot of fears about what awaits them, perhaps because the prior year was so challenging. And when I think about these varying experiences I think about anxiety. Anxiety is both an excitement about something new and that we care about, but it can also be about things that create fear for us. Anxiety can be healthy or unhealthy as I have written about and said many times before.   In this episode I want to explore some principles and strategies that you can implement for yourself, or help others with this year. So if you work with a group of people this could be very helpful for you. And to do this, I primarily "piggyback" off a recent article I wrote for the Fuller Youth Institute called Helpin

  • 3 Important Relational Postures: Ask, Let Go, Hold On

    13/11/2017 Duración: 33min

        Often when I'm working with someone in session I try to think of visual and tangible ways that they can remember some of the things that we are processing together. And what I have noticed a lot about relational interactions is that there tends to be this movement that I have found to be helpful for people.   This movement goes something like this: a) Ask for what you need/want/desire; b) But then let go of expectations of what you just asked for; c) And then hold on to yourself. Basically the posture is about opening yourself up to be vulnerable in relationships to communicate what you desire, while at the same time not demanding or holding your spouse to that request. And as you do that, learning to emotionally regulate yourself ("hold on").   People who are able to do this in their relationships tend to have very healthy and successful relationships in my opinion.   So in this episode I talk explore what it means to: ask for what you want/need/desire let go of those expectations hold on to yourself

  • Life Lessons Learned from My Recent Palo Duro 50K Race

    13/11/2017 Duración: 25min

          As many of you know, I love to run. And over the last 3-4 years I have been getting more and more into trail running, as well into ultrarunning (which is technically anything over 26.2 miles). And about a month ago I finished my second ever 50K race, and my second race ever at the Palo Duro Trail Run. My first 50K was the Cowtown Ultra, and a year after that I ran my first race in Palo Duro which was a 50 miler. This time I decided to dial back a bit in terms of race mileage for several reasons...but primarily so I would finish earlier in the day and have more time to hang out with my family, since camping is a big part of this trip.   And like any long race I've done, I usually learn some amazing life lessons that help me grow as a person. And often these life lessons I am able to apply into my counseling practice with others, and help them grow as well. In this episode I talk about: The importance of preparation and training and practice for any goals we are trying to achieve. And how all of our prac

  • The Importance of Adventure in Marriage -- with Director of Winshape Marriage, Matt Turvey

    09/11/2017 Duración: 01h15min

          Over the last several years my wife and I have begun a new journey in our life. That journey has involved a couple of elements: 1) Trying to incorporate more adventure into our marriage (i.e. trips, taking on challenges, etc.); 2) Working on ways to partner together in marriage. And last month we took another step closer in combining these two elements when we went away for a few days to WinShape Marriage to be trained as a leaders to lead their marriage adventures.   What is a marriage adventure? Imagine sailing on a catamaran in the BVI's for 8 days with 3 other couples, why you work on your marriage with daily activities and conversations, all while taking on daily adventures. This was something my wife and I were invited to participate in 3 years ago, and it was an experience that changed our life.   Or imagine leading couples through Machu Picchu in Peru, or leading couples on a contemplative pilgrimage on the Camino de Santiago in Spain, or working with other couples in orphanges in Guatemala?   W

  • The Key to Why Some Couples Can Work Through Conflict and Problem Solve, and Why Other Couples Can't

    05/10/2017 Duración: 46min

          One of the reasons many couples can't solve conflict in their relationship is because they often get stuck thinking that their argument is really about the topic at hand (i.e. money, sex, parenting, work, inlaws, etc.). And as long as they believe that, then they will stay perpetually stuck. What I've learned in my experience as a therapist is that the problem isn't about the topic, but rather the problem is the negative pattern of interaction that the couple has created over time in their relationship as they try to work through problems.   I'm obviously not the first to come to this conclusion, but this point has become more clear to me day by day in my work. I think that many of us counselors are guilty of sometimes just focusing on better communication techniques (which are super important), rather than helping a couple understand their underlying destructive pattern of interaction. My work in Restoration Therapy really helped me understand how guilty I was of this, and it helped provide me with a n

  • The Importance of Discerning the Different Between Feelings and Coping Behaviors to Get to Deeper Work

    02/10/2017 Duración: 16min

          This is a very short podcast episode, but it's a really important one.   One of the most important tasks I have in the counseling room is to help people to discern between what their feelings and coping behaviors are. In fact, I spend a lot of time helping people understand their feelings, and what coping behaviors they often lead to. When a person understands this level of awareness, they are often able to do deeper work and gain not only the insight they desired, but achieve the transformational change they were seeking.   But one of the things I started to learn during my training under Terry Hargrave in Restoration Therapy, is that not only the feelings that I thought were feelings....were really feelings. For example, I always classified anxiety and anger and depression for example as feelings. You would find me saying things like "I'm feeling really anxious right now", or "I woke up feeling depressed today." And people I work with in my office would often say the same thing.   Terry Hargrave helpe

  • A Personal Story About a Good Kind of Anxiety

    22/09/2017 Duración: 11min

    I talk a lot about anxiety on this podcast. And sometimes anxiety can seem vague or too theoretical, unless one really has experienced. And even then, just talking about it can seem like an intellectual exercise.   But today I had a personal experience that really makes concrete what I mean when I talk about a good anxiety...the kind that is there in the midst of peace, and just reminds you of the quality of your relationships. In that case, that anxiety I believe is a gift...it's a reminder of what you have.   In this episode I share my experience of dropping my wife off at the Dallas Ft. Worth airport as she was flying to Rwanda. So check out this episode as I share about the anxiety that I experienced as I dropped her off and why I cherish it.

  • The Intertwining Voices of Vocation and Anxiety

    22/09/2017 Duración: 28min

    I have recently been thinking a lot about the intertwining of vocation and anxiety. What I mean by that is that it seems that part of the journey towards finding vocation is that anxiety is often along for the journey.   In my writing and speaking on anxiety, and in my work with clients, I talk a lot about listening to the voice of anxiety. I believe that anxiety speaks to our life and if we listen to it, it can help guide us along our life's journey. The problem is that we live in a culture that wants to bury and numb out anxiety as much as possible. And when we drown out anxiety, we can't hear how it is informing our life.   But there's also this other voice, and that is of vocation. Parker Palmer in his wonderful book, Let Your Life Speak: Listening for the Voice of Vocation, talks about the Latin root of vocation, which is voce. It's literally a voice that is summoning you towards it.   And in this episode I want to explore how these two voices interact with each other and why that is important. I discuss

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