What Fresh Hell: Laughing In The Face Of Motherhood

One question we get over and over again is about dealing with grandparents who say to our kids, "I want to– but your mom won't let me." We have a general guideline that you only have three times available to speak to your parents or in-laws about things they do that bother you. This "Rule of Three" forces us to consider whether any given issue is worth discussing, and most importantly, whether it is the rare behavior that might actually be changed by having a confrontational conversation about it. With the issue of undermining, Margaret thinks it might be worth a try. Sit down and have a conversation where you simply say, "When you say that you'd like to do something that my kids wants, only I won't allow it, it hurts my feelings, and it makes it harder for me to enforce the rules that are important to me." If this simple statement doesn't change this behavior long-term (spoiler alert: it probably won't) then the next step is to respond by restating your rules and your reasoning to your children, each and ev