According To An Idiot

Happy Holidays! To celebrate, we're giving you a gift that keeps on giving, whether you like it or not. While a tad out of character from our usual content, this cackle-filled reading of one of the internets most notorious "fan fictions" should delight all fans of the pod!   If you were an emo tween in the 2000s with a love for the Harry Potter series, you've likely heard of this notorious fanfic. Written by a (seemingly partially-literate) teenage author, "My Immortal" borrows all of your favorite characters from the 'Potterverse' and transforms them into gothic teenage outcasts. The singular original character in this piece, Ebony Dementia Raven Way, is the quintessential goth/emo/scene girl who serves as an obvious avatar for the angsty author. She's a vampire witch-in-training whose love of early 2000s emo-rock is nearly as great as her love for a certain troubled Slytherin student.   When Ebony's romance with fellow Hogwarts alum Draco Malfoy is challenged by an old flame, all hell breaks loose at the wi