Important If True

Each week we do our best to take your deeply important questions, distill them down to their essence, and find the truth within. Or something we make up. But sometimes, once in a big moon, the truth hits too close to home, burns too hot, is too real. Sometimes something so unbelievably perfect happens, the universe itself tries to erase it. Before it can get there, we'll tell you all about it. Discussed: popcorn, the number you call that tells you what time it is, a regrettable news event, you know what it is, hoisting, the Important Cinematic Universe Project, reality untethered from time, reverse temporal recursion of cause and event, cursed image, strategically-located sunburns, difficulty of applying suntan lotion, explaining this stupid fucking podcast to somebody, nanotechnology, lewd inferences, inadvertently presenting as a gentleman thief, breaking into your own home, internal voices used for specific purposes, sounding like Calvin from Calvin & Hobbes, one-star review of LaGuardia Airport, taking a